by Linda Ford
The next day she hurried to get the children up. Today, she promised herself, she would not forget that she and Bruce were business partners and nothing more, even if there was a piece of paper declaring them man and wife.
She changed the dressing on Aunt Mary’s burn, happy to see it looked clean and healthy.
“Would you like to sit in the living room or rest in quiet?” Stella asked.
“I don’t care for too much quiet.”
Stella chuckled. “Good to hear. Two children can be noisy at times.”
She signaled Bruce to come and help her.
He greeted them both and gave Stella a smile that poked a hole in her determination to see him as only a partner.
“Happy noise is music to the ears,” Aunt Mary said.
“I’ve heard nothing but happy noise,” Bruce said, as he lifted his aunt and carried her to the living room, settling her into her chair.
“The children are darling,” Aunt Mary said.
Stella hugged her. “Thank you. I’m not about to disagree.” Having both of them approve of her children went a long way to making Stella think this decision was a good one. All she had to do was remember the terms of their agreement.
She made breakfast while Bruce went outside. She glanced out the window to see what he did. He wandered to the barn, obviously not in a hurry. He filled the water trough and led his horses from the barn to turn loose into the pasture. At least the grass was lush after lying idle for the past few months.
Bruce leaned against the top rail. At first, she thought he watched his horses, but then he turned. Did his gaze go to the river? Did he detect danger? She waited to see if he would go that direction. He smiled and nodded as if satisfied with what he saw.
She wished she knew what pleased him. Was it the farm? Her family? A familiar question bubbled to the surface. Was he seeing—hearing—the call of the distance?
“He’s a good and faithful man.” Aunt Mary spoke quietly. “You won’t regret marrying him.”
Stella returned to preparing breakfast. “I believe that remains to be seen.” Her words were a whisper, but Aunt Mary heard them.
“What has made you so distrustful?”
“My past experience. My pa taught me the folly of expecting a man to keep his word when he promised we would stay in our home.” She made herself stop. No need to tell Aunt Mary about all the disappointments in her life.
“Perhaps, my dear, it is time to look ahead, rather than back.”
Stella’s hands stilled. She would gladly embrace the future with someone she could trust. As she’d said, only time would tell if Bruce met that criteria. Until then, she would accept his help but guard her heart.
A few minutes later they sat around the table as she served breakfast. She’d asked Aunt Mary about Bruce’s preferences so had made a large pot of coffee and filled his cup. He drained it before she had served the children their eggs and ham.
“More?” She held the coffeepot toward him.
He held out his cup. “Thanks.”
Aunt Mary chuckled. “I warned her you need three cups in the morning before you’re civil.”
Those words had sent fear skittering along Stella’s nerves. What exactly did not civil look like?
Bruce chuckled. “I was civil as soon as I woke up and even more so when I stepped outside into the warm sunshine.” He turned to Stella. “I’ve never before seen myself as a farmer, but now I wonder why I haven’t.”
She nodded. “It is to my benefit if you like the farm.”
His smile flattened. “I’d say the marriage vows are enough.”
Donny edged forward on his chair. “What did you do before you became a farmer?”
It took a silent beat for Bruce to shift his guarded gaze to Donny. He smiled at the boy.
Stella watched, not quite ready to believe he wouldn’t at some point find Donny’s questions annoying.
But Bruce’s smile went to his eyes, convincing her he wasn’t upset at her son. “I mostly worked in town so I could be near my aunt. I worked at the feedstore. I worked for a man sawing lumber. What I liked best though was working at the stockyards.”
“What’s that?”
“That’s where they bring cattle to sell and ship them out on the railcars.”
“Were you a rancher?”
“Not exactly.”
“A cowboy?”
“Not exactly.”
“Then what were you?”
“Just a man doing a job that needed to be done.”
“He could have joined a cattle drive.” Aunt Mary’s voice revealed both pride and regret. “I know he would have liked to, but he stayed home to be with me.”
Bruce’s gaze returned to Stella’s. She saw perhaps challenge and assurance. She couldn’t say for certain, nor was she ready to decide one thing or another. She pressed her hands together, trying not to remember the feeling of strength she’d felt back in the Kinsley yard when they’d agreed to marry.
She wasn’t ready to trust that feeling.
They finished breakfast. Bruce lingered over his third cup of coffee.
Blossom, until now quiet and watchful, slipped from her chair to whisper in Stella’s ear.
“Mama, the Bible.”
“What about it?”
“Like at the other place.”
It took a moment for Stella to understand. “I don’t know, honey.”
“What does she want?” Bruce asked.
“The preacher read from the Bible every morning after breakfast.”
Bruce considered the little girl. “Do you want us to do the same thing?”
Blossom nodded.
“Sounds good to me. Where’s a Bible?”
Blossom trotted to the bedroom and returned with the one Stella kept there. She handed it to Bruce and leaned on the corner of the table, a look on her face that made Stella wince. Blossom could not remember her father and was way too ready to give Bruce that role.
Bruce opened the Bible and read. Stella could not have said what passage he’d chosen.As soon as he rose, saying he would look around for a place to cut hay, she hurried after him.
“Bruce, I need to speak to you.”
He stopped. “Of course.”
She was suddenly bereft of words. And swallowed hard. “Please don’t encourage the children.” At the way his eyes darkened, she stopped.
“You better explain yourself.”
“Very well. I know what it’s like to have someone disappoint you, and I would spare my children that.”
“I assume you are referring to your pa.”
The calmness in his voice did nothing to reassure her.
He didn’t wait for her to reply. “You agreed to marry me. I agreed to marry you. I’m tired of saying I meant those vows. Either you believe me, or you don’t. I know you don’t. But I am now your husband and as such, father to your children. I will encourage them in every way I can. I will be here for them day in and day out. Just as I will be here for you.” He stalked away without a backward look.
8
Bruce strode past the corrals, up the gentle slope, and continued walking. He’d done everything he could to convince Stella that he meant his marriage vows. Last night he’d thought they had perhaps reached a bit of understanding. He’d told her how he’d chosen jobs so he could stay with Aunt Mary. Shouldn’t that have made her see what kind of man he was? A staying, protecting, caring man? She’d let him hold her hand. And it had felt good and right. Like they could turn this marriage into mutual concern. Maybe even affection. But she was determined to see him as being like her pa. Here today, but not forever.
He reached a small grove of trees and sank to the ground with his back against a gnarly trunk. The bark poked at his skin. He welcomed the discomfort. From where he sat, he saw the barn and the trees beyond that indicated the river. Slowly, his thoughts settled.
They had agreed that God was the boss in their partnership.
Seemed that talking
to Him would be a good way to fix this situation. God, I don’t know how to deal with things. I want to be a good provider, a good father, and even a good husband as much as Stella will allow. We agreed to a business arrangement. I plan to live up to my end of the bargain, but I don’t like being constantly told she doesn’t expect me to stay. What am I to do?
He didn’t expect an answer, but it was nice to sit quietly and enjoy the scenery. Last night Aunt Mary had told him to be patient with Stella. “She’s leery of trusting people and for good reason I hear. Give her time to learn to know you. She’ll soon grow to understand you won’t abandon her.”
He had no intention of abandoning anyone. But a man could get tired of having the possibility thrown in his face over and over. How many times could he tell Stella he wasn’t leaving, and she might as well get used to the idea?
Something else Aunt Mary said erased his troubling thoughts. She’d quoted one of her many favorite verses. Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee. “Bruce, keep your mind stayed on God, and He will guide your steps into peace. I’ve been praying about this arrangement between you and Stella, and I believe God has brought you two together. I fully expect you will both realize what you can have.”
“Have?” he’d asked. “We have what we want. A home for us all.”
“Both of you want more, even if you aren’t ready to admit it.”
“I’m sure I don’t know what you mean.” He hoped she wouldn’t press the matter.
“One of you needs acceptance and the other, security.” Aunt Mary had nodded vigorously at that point. “You have both found it here, but you have yet to discover that. Now leave me to rest.”
Bruce considered his aunt’s words. He could see that Stella needed security. Assurance that she could count on forever. Did that leave him as the one needing acceptance? He’d found that with his aunt.
And lost a portion of it with the vicious words Louella had said to him.
But he was over her and her accusatory words.
Right. About the way Stella was over her pa leaving all the time.
From where he sat, he saw the roof of the barn and noticed a few shingles had blown off. Repairing the roof was a chore he could do this morning before he headed out to get Stella’s cows.
He trotted back down the hill and vaulted over the fence.
Donny saw him, but remained under the tree, playing.
Bruce glanced around. He didn’t see Blossom and went closer to call to Donny. “Where’s your sister?”
“In the house with Mama.” Donny lowered his gaze to his play.
Bruce waited a moment then accepted the boy didn’t want to join him. A good thing, seeing as Bruce meant to climb to the roof. But had the children been warned to stay away from him? He didn’t much care for that idea.
He carried the ladder to the far side of the barn and put it in place. He’d seen a bundle of shakes in the tack room and went to get what he needed. His pockets full of nails, a hammer hanging from one side of his jeans, and shingles in his arms, he climbed to the roof.
Work had always been a solace for him. A place where he could feel good about himself. Feel he was equal to other men.
He paused, his hammer halfway to a nail. Aunt Mary was far too close to the truth when she said he sought acceptance. He pounded the nail in with far more energy than was required.
If acceptance was what he needed and wanted, he had surely picked the wrong woman to give him that.
Or maybe not. Perhaps in time…
The task finished, he crawled to the peak to check the other side of the roof. No shingles missing there.
Blossom raced from the house and joined her brother, talking animatedly. What had the child so excited?
Stella stepped out the door and paused to look around. Her gaze went to the river and lingered there.
He looked the same direction but saw nothing to give him worry or even hold his interest, and he returned his gaze to Stella. She continued to look toward the river then shrugged and glanced around the yard.
Did she sense danger? Had she seen something yesterday? Or was she looking for him? To deliver another warning? What would it be about this time?
He could have descended and gone to see what she wanted, but he remained on the roof, watching and wondering.
She glanced toward the children then lifted her skirt and crossed toward the barn. She opened the door and looked in. Went inside. Came out again and went to the corrals.
Not wanting to alarm her, he decided to get off the roof. But when he turned, her head appeared over the edge of the roof. She’d climbed the ladder. His heart punched his ribs, and he began to ease toward her. “What are you doing there? Don’t you know you could fall?”
“I’m on the ladder, not swinging from the eaves.”
He slipped and skidded four feet before he could stop.
“Bruce, be careful.” She reached out to him.
He knew her leaning like that could tip the ladder. He planted his heels to steady himself. “Don’t move. Don’t lean out like that.” Slow down. Take deep breaths. Don’t make any sudden moves. He talked himself to a degree of calmness. “Make your way down the ladder. Slowly.”
She eyed him. “You almost fell.”
“I’ll be fine. But I can’t get down until you do.” I can’t breathe until you’re down. He tried not to picture her feet catching on her skirt and tripping her. Tried not to think of her body twisted on the ground when she fell. “Please, just get down.” The words croaked from his throat.
“You’re sure you’re all right?”
“I’m sure.”
She gave him a long look then began her descent. He edged closer, watching her progress, feeling completely powerless. If she slipped, he wouldn’t be able to do anything.
His lungs slowly released as first one foot and then the other reached solid ground. She stepped back and looked up at him, shading her eyes with her hands.
“Are you coming?”
“Be right there.” He made a show of retrieving the hammer and checking for nails while waiting for his heart rate to settle down. When he no longer felt as if his legs were pudding, he swung to the ladder and made his way to the ground. He held to the bars for a moment before he turned to face her.
Every word that had crowded his mind as he watched her peering over the roof then descending on the ladder, fled. She was safe. That was all that mattered.
“Did you want something?” he asked, hoping his voice was steady.
She opened her mouth, closed it again. Shook her head. “I just…I only…” She fluttered one hand. “When I didn’t see you…”
He closed his eyes against the frustration mounting in him. Took a deep breath, prayed for God’s patience and wisdom, opened his eyes, and looked at her. “Stella, will you please stop assuming I am only waiting for a chance to leave? Why would you even think I would? And don’t tell me it’s because of your pa. Besides, he always took you, didn’t he? So, he really didn’t leave you.”
She sank to the ground as if her legs wouldn’t hold her. “What reason do you have to stay?”
“My aunt, the children, my marriage vows, you. How many reasons do you need?”
She studied the hem of her skirt. “Didn’t you say your father was a wanderer?”
“I might have. He was.” He paused a moment to collect his thoughts. “I’ve never wanted to be like my pa.”
“Why is that?”
He sat beside her. “Well, first, because he’s passed on.”
She gave a burst of laughter. “I can see that might be something you wouldn’t want to do just yet.”
He grew serious. “I don’t remember much about Pa. Seems he was always making me run errands and do the camp chores while he lay next to the fire.” He turned sharply to look at her. “I don’t think Pa ever saw me as anything but a run-and-fetch person.” It was the first time he had looked at his past except to wish he wa
s something different than an urchin.
“Where was your ma?”
“I’m not sure when she passed away. All I remember is we left, but Ma wasn’t with us.” He looked past her to the nearby fence line. “I don’t want to be like Pa and not see people as valuable. Not see the joy in others or do what I can to add to it.”
She touched his arm, brought his attention back to her. “That is the nicest thing I’ve ever heard.”
He searched her gaze, felt as if he saw into her heart. Saw hope and trust and faith for the first time.
She searched his gaze as well. He could only hope and pray she saw what she wanted and needed. She smiled. “I can live with that.” She clambered to her feet and left him sitting by the barn, staring after her.
She could live with that. That surely meant she could live with him.
He might find here what he’d had a good dose of with Aunt Mary and what she knew he needed more of—acceptance. Smiling, he returned to the repairs.
A little later Stella called out, “Dinnertime.”
He crossed the yard, eager to see if she still approved of him. The children raced from their play and reached the hitching post at the same time as he. He scooped up Blossom and tossed her in the air. Donny clung to his arm, and Bruce swung him as they walked.
Stella watched, smiling at the children and then at him. “You certainly add to their joy.”
She couldn’t have said words that meant more to him and, smiling widely, he carried the children inside.
Aunt Mary chuckled. “Less than two weeks for sure.”
“What do you mean?” Bruce asked, wondering at the way Stella’s cheeks pinked.
Stella knew exactly what Aunt Mary meant. Stella pretended a great deal of interest in the pork and beans she had prepared for dinner, hoping all the while that Bruce’s aunt hadn’t said the same thing to him.
Putting on her best calm face, she took the pot to the table and concentrated on scooping out a serving for each of the children, taking as long as possible before she sat at the table. Across from Bruce with him directly in her line of sight. Oh, please don’t let her have told him her prediction.