by K. J. Dahlen
About mid-afternoon, Chase brought in several armloads of firewood. “Well, the snow and wind are really raising havoc out there.”
“Great.” Eve was beginning to regret the decision to come out here. Her sense of urgency was growing worse. To get her mind off the panic setting in, she asked about Beau, “Is your horse going to be ok in the lean to? He won’t get too cold will he?”
“No he won’t get too cold. The lean to closes up when it needs too. He’ll be warm enough.” He paused then had to ask, “What’s wrong? I can see that look of desperation in your eyes and can hear the impatience in your voice.”
“I guess I’m a little jumpy. I’m not used to being so far from civilization. It’s kind of creepy,” she admitted with a deep sigh, hating to show any weakness.
Chase smiled slightly. “It does seem like we’re the only people on earth out here doesn’t it. Everything is so quiet. I come out here to clear my mind.”
“I can understand why.”
The wind had died down for a moment but the snow was still falling. He grasped her hand leading her to the window. “Tell me what you see out there,” he asked.
She stared outside. “Snow and trees and a whole lot of nothing else,” she replied impatiently.
“Look again, only this time really look,” Chase whispered in her ear. He was standing behind her with his hands on her shoulders.
She peered through the window glass. She’d grown up in the city; she positively hated the outdoors in the winter. Being cold or wet—those were two things she hated. She frowned as the scene in front of her began to change. It was still just snow and trees she saw, but now almost before her eyes the trees seemed more and more distinct as she observed them, the more she looked the clearer each tree became.
She then saw a black squirrel foraging for something to eat in one of the trees. Soon another squirrel ran up to him, and they began to chase each other through the branches. She saw a patch of bright red way up high in another tree. The longer she stared at it the clearer it became. It was a male cardinal; his bright red plumage was beautiful against the dark bark of the tree. Something moved beyond her line of sight. For a moment, she was afraid Grayson had found them, but it was a deer family. The doe moved into the clearing with caution. Behind her came two pretty good sized fawns.
“What do you see now?” Chase asked.
Eve didn’t know how to explain what she was seeing. “I’m beginning to see what I’ve been missing. It’s subtle enough to overlook, unless you take the time to look properly. Everything comes to life if you take the time to see what’s really there.”
Chase smiled. “Believe it or not, what’s out there changes every day. So, it’s never the same but it’s always alive. That’s nature at its best.”
Eve smiled sheepishly. “I guess I never took the time to notice before. I’m from the city so it didn’t occurred to me the country was any different. I guess it’s the quiet I never expected. I mean in the city there’s always some kind of noise—cars rushing here and there, the sirens of either police or fire truck or ambulances, kids playing right outside your windows, music blasting. It’s all plain noise and sometimes it’s very easy to block it all out. Out here, there is no background noise. Now my world seems messy and exhausting. The silence is what troubles me and it’s what I notice first.”
“The isolation can be quite overwhelming at first. The silence alone can drive you crazy if you let it, or it can calm you.”
“Can I ask you something?”
“Of course.” He nodded.
“Whatever happened to that friend of yours? The one you helped get clean,” Eve asked.
Chase sighed deeply. “He managed to stay clean. It’s taken a while but he’s still clean. He had to hit rock bottom before he could start his life over, but he did it. He found a new job and a new life. He was one of the lucky ones. He told me once that he felt so stupid for getting caught up in something like drugs. He said it never occurred to him that he could get hooked so easily. He became a counselor and now works in Coven Glade. He said he got a second chance thanks to me and his family. He wanted to give others the same chance. He thinks because he went through the same thing they’re going through, he can help them adjust to sobriety. He found his purpose in life and making a difference to a lot of people.”
“And has he? Helped others reach a state of sobriety, I mean?”
“His program is working. Although lately, he said there are some of his people he’s concerned about. People like him are getting threats against what they do. Some of the people Scott works with are getting nervous.”
Eve frowned. “Why? What’s going on?”
“I’m not sure, but the pushers are getting more aggressive.” He shrugged. “There’s something going on behind the scenes, it’s almost as if the whole drug community is going off the rails. I just hope it doesn’t explode and catch innocents in the crossfire.”
Eve sighed thoughtfully, nodding. “There’s always that possibility isn’t there? Drugs touch everyone’s lives not just the users. It’s always the ones they leave behind or by the wayside that hurt the worst when something happens. It’s the family left behind that are devastated. They feel the pain for the rest of their lives while the users are past the pain of everyday life.”
As much as she wanted to stand by the window watching the day pass, Chase right behind her, she knew it wouldn’t bring her any closer to Ian’s murderer. She wanted to remember what happened and why but even after two days, she couldn’t remember anything. And the more time that passed, Chase was becoming more important to her than she felt comfortable with. “I wish we could get through to my memory. I really need to figure out what I saw in that alley and why I was even there to begin with.”
Chase exhaled sharply, glancing at his watch. “Barry should be back to the ranch by now.” He turned her by the shoulders toward the ham radio then sat down at the controls tuning in the frequency. Static crackled. Chase fine-tuned the frequency. He spoke into the microphone; a sprat of garbled talk came back.
Eve couldn’t figure out what was said but Chase made it out. For some reason she was getting anxious and she hated that feeling. It felt like waiting for the other shoe to drop and when it did, nothing good would happen, that’s for sure.
The conversation lasted a few minutes until the signal became too weak to pick up…the storm interfered with reception. Chase glanced up. “That was Barry. When he got back to the ranch this afternoon, he found Grayson waiting. Grayson had kicked in the back door and was searching the house when Barry got back. He left quite a mess. Grayson told Barry he found your car earlier today. He considered it as evidence that I must be hiding you. He told Barry I would be charged with aiding a fugitive if he found you anywhere on my property. He said that Grayson was really pissed and that he made all sorts of threats against me. He also told Barry he would give me twenty-four hours to bring you in. If I didn’t, he wouldn’t be able to control what might happen.”
“Will Trainer know where we are? Will he find us out here?” Eve panicked. Grayson must have found the car shortly after they’d left it. They barely missed each other.
“No, Barry didn’t tell him a thing.” Chase frowned deeply. “Grayson has a lot to answer for. I don’t like the fact that he kicked in my door and went through my house without a warrant. I don’t care if he was looking for you or not. By threatening me, he crossed the line as far as I’m concerned.”
Eve knew in her heart what she had to do. She didn’t want to but she knew she couldn’t hide forever. “We have to go back,” she stated quietly.
Chapter Five
“But you don’t have your memory back yet, do you?” Chase asked.
“No, not all of it, but that can’t be helped. I won’t put you or possibly your ranch in danger. I also can’t let Grayson and Travis get away with murder.”
Chase drummed his fingers on the table top. “But if we go back now, they’ll silence you before you can tel
l anyone what you know. You won’t make it an hour in their custody. We’ll have to wait until morning at any rate. The storm is almost over but we could easily get lost in the dark. I’m not going to risk our lives or Beau’s traveling at night in this weather.”
Eve nodded. At least, she would have one more night to remember the rest. She had to remember why Ian had been down in that part of town to begin with. She had to remember who he was to her. Were they related somehow? And who is Nick? Where did he fit into the picture, and where was he now? “What about Barry? Will he be all right? Grayson might take his revenge out of him if he can’t get to you.”
“Barry knows how to take care of himself,” Chase assured her. “We met while we were in the Army. He was a special ops guy while I was a Ranger. He isn’t afraid of Grayson. If he needs to, he knows how to get into and out of the ranch without being seen by anyone.”
“Alright, I don’t want anyone else getting hurt because of me. I do want to see Ian’s murderer brought to justice but not at the cost of someone getting hurt. I just wish I could remember what happened and why I was even there and what this man Ian meant to me, if he meant anything in the first place.” She glanced at the floor for a moment then turned to look at Chase. “I don’t usually talk about this with anyone but maybe you should know—I can remember some things from my past. Just little bits and pieces really, but I remembered this when you mentioned the name Gentle Breezes. I had a girlfriend who was hooked on Gentle Breezes, Faith was her name. We were in high school, but we were best friends since kindergarten. At first, she was a recreational user. Then she met Calvin Brooks. Calvin wasn’t a nice guy. In fact, I found out he was dealing at the high school. Once he got his hooks into Faith there wasn’t anything anyone could do to save her. Believe me I tried. I went to the police but until they could bust him selling drugs, they couldn’t touch him. He was a juvenile, so obviously they preferred to work up the chain.”
Chase nodded his head for her to continue.
She cleared her throat then went on, “Long story short, one night I found Faith having difficulty breathing with an irregular heartbeat. Calvin had sold her a contaminated batch of Breezes. He just walked away from her. She died in the hospital a few hours later. I went looking for Calvin. I found him at the park with another girl. I think when I saw them together, I wanted to kill him for what he’d done to Faith. I accused him of murdering Faith with his drugs. He laughed in my face and told me she wasn’t worth the money to fix her up. She was just another user he screwed when she didn’t have cash. I really wanted to kill him that night.” Then she stopped and frowned.
“What is it?” Chase asked.
“I just remembered something else.”
“What did you remember?”
“I think I know Ian.” She shrugged. “I remember him coming to look for me around that time. Somehow, he’d found out about Faith and he stopped me from going after Calvin. He had to drag me away from the park that night. He kept telling me to leave it to him and that he would get Calvin off the streets.” She dragged her fingers through her hair. She closed her eyes and tears ran down her cheeks as she remembered a different time in her life. “But if I know him, why can’t I remember the night he died? Who is he to me? What does he mean to my life? Until I saw him on TV, I couldn’t even remember what he looked like. I still can’t remember how I know him but I remember him dragging me away from Calvin.”
“Did he actually stop Calvin?” Chase asked.
Eve nodded. “Oh yeah, he found a way to stop him. Ian got a bunch of guys together and they all went to talk to Calvin. They convinced him to turn himself in. He went to reform school for a while. After his release, he moved away. As far as I know, he’s never been back.”
“Good Lord, how did they convince him to give up the life, the drug trade, all that money?” Chase asked.
“I have no idea, but there wasn’t a mark on him, so they didn’t beat it out of him. Calvin would have called on his old buddies if Ian and his friends had laid a hand on him.”
“Did Calvin ever accept responsibility for Faith’s death?”
Eve shook her head. “No, I don’t think he ever did. At least, I don’t think so. God, why can’t I remember something as important as that was to me? I mean to him…she was just another user prostitute. He knew that once she was hooked, she wouldn’t last long. She was lost from the first day. She couldn’t save herself, no one could.”
Chase nodded. “That’s how I felt when my buddy needed me. He lived but he was never the same.”
Eve wiped the tears from her eyes. “When Faith died, I was so lost for a long time. Watching her go downhill so fast was like spinning out of control. I felt helpless. I couldn’t do anything to help her get her life back. After a while, she just gave up on herself.”
“I think you made a difference in Faith’s life even if she didn’t make it,” Chase told her. “You showed her that someone cared, it just wasn’t enough to pull her back. She wasn’t strong enough to beat the addiction.”
“I’d like to think so. I have to hope that her death wasn’t in vain.” Reaching for a Kleenex she went on, “I felt so helpless. I don’t remember what happened after that.” Eve moved over by the window and gazed into the falling snow. She could no longer appreciate the scenery; instead, she remembered the night Ian died. She was remembering how the gun glistened in the moonlight, how she heard the report as it fired. The gunshot was so loud the sound just seemed to echo in that dirty alley. She remembered how he fell. She could see in her mind’s eye the expression on his face when the bullet struck his body. Then when Travis stepped forward into the light to turn him over, she could see the red stain on his shirt and the empty glaze in his eyes. She knew he was dead.
She also knew she had to get out of the alley quickly before they discovered her or they would have killed her as well. Looking back on that night, she remembered the second man, the one who stayed in the shadows. It was he who heard her turn to run. On her way out of the alley, it wasn’t Travis’s voice but another man’s that she heard.
She stood lost in thought until Chase touched her shoulder. She jumped at his touch and abruptly turned to face him. He steadied her as he told her to come to the table for supper.
Eve glanced from Chase to the window and back to him. “Well, I was looking out at the fading afternoon, but now it’s dark out. How long have I been standing there?”
“You’ve been at that window for an hour or more. I thought you realized the sun had set.”
“I was well and truly lost in thought. I’m so sorry.”
“So what were you thinking about for so long?” Chase looked curious.
“I was trying to think about the night Ian was shot. I was trying to remember something from that night that might help me remember the rest of what happened,” Eve tried to explain. She felt increasingly anxious because she knew time was running short. She looked up at him with tears in her eyes. “When Travis shot Ian, he shot him in the back. Ian wasn’t even armed. What kind of man shoots an unarmed man in the back?”
“Only a true coward does something like that. And that title fits Travis Trainer to a T.” He sighed rubbing his forehead. “Maybe you’re concentrating too hard. Let it go for a while, see what happens. Sometimes, the harder you push it, the more the memory stays away.”
“I can’t help myself!” Eve cried out. “Travis Trainer shot Ian then he said something to the man in the shadows. I can’t for the life of me, remember what he said. I need to remember because I-it’s important.”
“You were probably in shock at seeing Ian gunned down in a dirty alley. Then you were almost caught trying to get away.” Chase tried to calm her.
Eve’s eyes searched for a calendar. “What’s the date today?” she asked.
“It’s December 12th, why?”
“Ian was shot on December 10th. Today is the 12th. I’m sure something is going to happen very soon. The man in the shadows said something about a specific da
te. Damn, I wish I could remember what he said.” Eve pounded the window sill and turned to face the room, her breathing ragged.
“Hey, slow down. You’ll remember.” Chase grabbed her shoulders to pull her closer.
She tried to get loose of his embrace but somehow, she couldn’t bring herself to fully break away. In his arms, she felt safe from the Trainers. No one but Ian had ever made Eve feel safe before, and yet she was afraid of what she was feeling for Chase. It didn’t make any sense to her. How could he affect her so much, so quickly?
Eve awkwardly freed herself from his embrace. As much as she wanted to be in his arms, she felt like it was too dangerous for her. There was something about the night Ian died she needed desperately to remember. Until then, she couldn’t possibly know for sure whom she could trust. Chase could be exactly who he said he was, a rancher with no ties to drug trafficking. Or he could be the man in the shadows, the mastermind behind one of the largest drug cartels operating in the United States. She had to remember what she heard that man say. “I think I’ll go to bed. I’m not really hungry. And besides, there is really no use in us pretending,” Eve told him.
Chase’s eyes met hers. “Pretending what?”
“Never mind, maybe someday I’ll tell you, but right now I don’t think I can,” Eve said wearily. She walked over to the bed, kicked off her shoes. She lay down and turned her face from him, not wanting him to see her tears.
She eventually slept but that’s when in her nightmare, her ordeal began all over again. She was back in the alley hiding behind a dumpster, trying to make her way closer to where Ian stood facing a man in uniform. She was close enough to hear the exchange between them.
“So how did you get the package in the first place?” Travis Trainer asked Ian.
“It doesn’t matter,” Ian argued. “I have it. Now I am returning it to you.”
Travis smiled. “I can see that. What makes you think I know what’s in the package?”
“The person who gave the package to me told me to return it to you,” Ian told him flatly.