by K. J. Dahlen
“At least, you got the scum who shot him.” Nick nodded. “The Trainer brothers will die in prison.”
“We got everyone involved in the drug case and in Ian’s murder. Thanks to your help, we were able to track the drugs all the way back to where they came from and we got them all.”
“Good. I’m glad that crap is off the streets. I started dealing before I knew what I was doing. A buddy needed some help delivering some packages. You know, at first it was easy money, but then when I wanted to quit, I found I couldn’t just walk away. I was in too deep. They wouldn’t just let me walk away. That’s when the Trainers used my little brother against me, to keep me in line they said. They got him hooked on that shit they were selling.” Nick shook his head. “Then Ian found out what I was doing. Just before he took my place the night, he got my brother into rehab and I was going to meet up Travis. Instead, he told me I needed to be with my brother. He said he would go to confront Travis.”
The sound of a car door slamming shut broke up their conversation.
Evelyn turned to see Kyle getting out of a car. Kyle Long had been a friend to both Ian and her. In fact, the three of them had grown up together. Kyle was now a counselor for teens in trouble. The fact that Ian sent Nick to Kyle told Evelyn that Ian recognized in Nick a desire to turn himself around.
Kyle wrapped his arms around her and gave her a big hug. “Hey girl, I am so sorry about Ian. We would have been here sooner, but we couldn’t risk getting in contact with anyone until we knew it was safe.”
“I understand completely. While we had Travis in custody, he could have made a call and put his men on tracking Nick down. You did the right thing for Nick and his brother. We lost track of Grayson for a while. Together, they posed a very real threat to anyone who could connect them to the cartel.” Then she turned to look at Nick. He had gone closer to the where Ian was. “Kyle,” she asked. “Is he going to be all right?”
Kyle nodded at the young man. “He’s going to be fine. When I first met him, I thought Ian was crazy to want to help him. I mean he was a cocky little jerk, but when I got to know him better, I finally saw what Ian saw. He’s going to make it. He just needed someone to believe in him. Now he’s in a position to help not only his little brother but others as well.”
Evelyn felt some solace in this at least. “Then Ian didn’t die in vain. He did make a difference. That’s all he ever wanted. He made a difference that will ripple out and affect even more people than he realized.”
“What about you?” Kyle asked.
Evelyn smiled at him. “I think I’m done with this sort of thing for a while. The job takes its toll and I’m burnt out. I want to try and find something else to do with my life. I know I want something more out of life than a lonely grave. Ian gave his life to help Nick, to fight the drug trade, to make a difference. I want to live my life with purpose too, but on a different path.”
Kyle scowled. “And what would that be? You’re too good at this job to just give it up like that. Take some time off but we need you to fight the good fight.”
Evelyn shrugged. She didn’t want to say the words out loud. If Chase didn’t want her to stay, the only one who would see her failure would be the woman she saw in the mirror every day. “I’ll let you know if it works out. But this is something I have to try. I have to give it a chance.”
~ * ~
A few hours later, Evelyn pulled her car into the driveway of Chase’s ranch. The drive down from Minneapolis had been quite nerve racking. She was taking a big chance. She honestly couldn’t predict what was going to happen. The butterflies in her stomach were starting to dance, but Evelyn couldn’t turn around to go home. She had to find out if Chase wanted her in his life the same way she wanted him. She should have at least called him at some point in the last two weeks but she hadn’t. She hadn’t wanted him to know just how needy she was. Not over the phone. She needed to see his reaction when she told him she was in love with him.
When she got out of her car, she thought the house looked dark. She saw no one around the barns. The quiet of the place spooked her; it might have been deserted for all she knew. She walked over to the biggest barn and opened the door. She paused to let her eyes adjust to the dim light inside. She saw a man mucking out stalls. He glanced up at her and smiled.
“Hello Barry,” she greeted the man softly when she reached him. He seemed like he was at home in the barn. She couldn’t think of anyone else Chase would have working there.
The man nodded. “Hello.” He leaned against the handle of the pitchfork he’d been using. Tipping his hat back away from his eyes Barry looked at her from the top of her head to the boots on her feet. He nodded his approval.
“How have you been?” she asked nervously worrying the straps of her purse.
Barry just stared at her for a moment. “We’ve been doing ok.” Then his smile deepened. “Chase hasn’t stopped talking about you since you left. Now here you are in person and I need to know something.”
Evelyn’s sense of disquiet continued to grow. “And what would that be?”
“I need to know if you’re here to stay or if you’re going to break his heart?” Barry stated with tight lips.
“Where is he? Is he here?” Evelyn asked. The news that Chase talked about her to Barry gave her hope. “I think I should talk to him first, don’t you?”
Barry shook his head and gripped his pitchfork so tight his knuckles were white. “He went off to the cabin this morning. He told me he had some thinking to do.” He glared at her for a moment before he growled, “If you’re here to hurt him then turn around and walk away now. I can tell him you stopped by when he comes back.”
Evelyn’s heart sank a little. “Did he say what he needed to think about?”
Barry shook his head. “There are times when Chase just likes to be alone. He says it’s to clear his head but I know better. Sometimes, I think that boy thinks too much. Lately, all he can think about is you. If you want, I can saddle a horse for you.”
Evelyn felt torn though, not wanting to intrude on his solitude. “Do you think he would see me if I did go to him?”
“Why don’t you find out?” Barry shrugged. At her hesitation, Barry offered a suggestion, “You won’t know until you try. Who knows, maybe you’ll both find what you’re looking for but you need to take that first step. And you did that by coming here. Have the courage you need to see this through.”
Evelyn nodded and suddenly, she felt calm inside. The butterflies that fluttered in her belly were silent now. He was telling her the same thing Ian had. “Okay.”
A few minutes later, Barry had a horse saddled and waiting for her. She thought she remembered the way to the cabin, but before she left, she thought of something else— the Ham radio. “Barry, please don’t tell him I’m coming. I need to see the look on his face when I get there.”
“Give the horse his head…he’ll take you right to the cabin. Chase has all his horses trained that way.” Barry nodded and watched her ride away.
Evelyn rode throw the woods with a whole new horde butterflies in her stomach. They’d been calm when she made the decision to face him but now they were a flutter again. As she made her way through the woods, she thought about all the ways she could explain why she showed up now. She still hadn’t come to any plausible way to say what she felt in her heart when she saw the cabin in front of her. She paused for a moment and just stared at the small cabin.
Before she would allow herself to think about what she was doing, she moved her horse closer and slid off the beast. Tying the reins, she took a deep breath, moved forward, and opened the cabin door.
Chase glanced up from the table. When he saw her, he immediately stood to his feet.
They stared at one another in silence for a moment then Evelyn took a couple steps toward him. Before he could say a word, she grabbed his shirt by its buttons and pulled him into an embrace. She kissed him with everything she had.
The kiss deepened. A fire lit u
p inside her. She could barely stand. Chase broke the kiss, looking deep into her eyes. When he saw what was there, he didn’t hesitate. As their lips came together again, they both shuddered from the heat of their embrace. He carried her over to the bed, laid her down and covered her body with his. Words at this point were just not needed. The only sounds that were heard were the groans and moans of their passion.
Feverishly, they pulled off their clothes as they kissed. When they came together, their joining was unlike any other. The flames of their passion consumed them both. As he rammed his hard hot cock deep inside her, she screamed soundlessly. But it wasn’t in pain, she screamed wordlessly in how right it made her feel. This was the something, the connection she’d been looking for all her life. When she was with him, she was whole again. She didn’t know if she could ever let him go. The passion he made her feel took her high above the earth until she burst, floating gently back to the here and now.
Later, when the embers were banked, Evelyn confessed, “I thought about what I would say to you all the way here, and when I saw you, I couldn’t speak to reason with you, as to why you should let me stay. In fact, I couldn’t talk at all to save my own life. All I could do was kiss you. I never knew love could feel this way.”
Chase smiled. “I didn’t know if I would ever see you again. That’s why after so long, I had to come out here. I had to prepare myself for the fact that I had lost you. I wasn’t sure I could face a life without you in it.” He looked away from her for a moment, “Eve…” He faced her. “I was so afraid when you left that day I wouldn’t see you again. I waited and waited for you to come back to me.”
Evelyn nodded. “I’m sorry. I know the way I left you was…Just so you know, the last two weeks have been hell for me too. I had to wrap up the case and bury my brother. I couldn’t come here to you and then go back to face that. I wanted my life in order before I came back.”
“I wanted to be there with you for that. No one should bury someone they love with no one there for them. Damn, I should have been with you.” He leaned forward and rested his forehead against hers.
“I had friends there. People who knew both Ian and me, people we worked with. Not many friends, but good ones.” She shook her head and gazed up at him. “I remembered who Nick is. He’s a kid from the street who Ian gave a better future. When Nick showed Ian the shipment of drugs he was supposed to deliver, Ian sent him to our friend Kyle. Ian helped get Nick’s little brother into rehab then went to confront Travis. Kyle took Nick out of town for a few days to keep him safe from reprisals from the Trainers. They came back the day Ian was buried. Nick told Kyle that he wanted to say goodbye to the one man who made a difference in his life. He said that Ian was the only one who gave a shit about him and that showed Nick just enough to make a difference in his life. Nick could finally see a future for himself and that was enough to get through to him to come clean.”
“What did Nick have to say about the fact that Ian was dead?”
“He said that Ian died in his place that night.” Evelyn shrugged her shoulders. “He wanted me to know he wouldn’t forget the sacrifice Ian made for him. I told him Ian wouldn’t have died in vain if Nick lived straight. He promised me he would and I have to believe he will. The DEA offered him a change of address and a new name. They’ll give him a chance to make his own difference in someone else’s life. He’s working with Kyle now. He’s going to be all right. He’s going to be just like your friend Scott. Kyle will keep his eye on him.” She shrugged. “Who knows, maybe Nick will make a bigger difference in someone else’s life, maybe even more than one life. He could be what Ian always strived to be.”
“Sort of paying it forward to help someone else?” Chase hinted.
“Yeah, something like that.” Evelyn sighed. “I hope so anyway.”
“What happened to Travis and Grayson?”
“Travis is in the isolation wing of the county jail awaiting transfer to prison for first degree murder and drug trafficking. The DEA rushed him to trial. They kept him safe enough to stand trial. They put police officers and other law enforcement personnel in isolation to protect them against reprisals from other inmates. Grayson is in the cell next to his brother. You once told me that where one was the other wouldn’t be far away. Well, you were right. Both of them will go to prison together too, and they’ll spend the rest of their lives together. He may not have been the one to kill Ian but he was right there when Travis did the deed. He could have stopped it but he didn’t. In the eyes of the law that makes him just as guilty as Travis for the murder.” She chuckled softly. “I’m afraid your Grayson found out that being a bully outside prison wasn’t the same as being one inside the joint. He went head to head with a real bully and found out that a smart mouth isn’t what it’s cracked up to be behind bars. He spent most of the trial sporting bruises and with his jaw wired shut.”
“What happened? I would have thought the same rules applied to Grayson.”
Evelyn shook her head. “Grayson didn’t want isolation. He insisted on being in the general population, despite the pending murder charges. I don’t know, maybe he thought he could get someone to follow him but it didn’t work out that way. Let’s just say he smarted off to the wrong person and he was taught a lesson he won’t soon forget. Without his gang of bad boys, he’s nothing but a little fish in a much bigger pond. I doubt he’ll make that mistake again. He ended up crying like a baby. It’s not really, all that funny, but when I think of how he bullied his way around here, I have to believe that God and Fate have a funny sense of humor. Grayson is on the other end of the stick now.”
Chase nodded. “Maybe there’s hope for him yet. Maybe, he’ll learn respect for his betters. It’s too late now to make a difference but maybe it will help him get by in prison.” He paused then turned to face her. “Maybe this is the wrong time to bring it up, but I need to know why you came back here today. Are you going to stay with me? Because I don’t think, I can watch you drive away again. It was hard enough to do the first time.”
She thought for a long moment then looking straight into his beautiful grey blue eyes she said, “If you’ll have me, I’d like stay. I’ve had time to think about what I want from life. I don’t want to end up like my brother. I want a home and a family, not a lonely grave with a handful of people at my funeral. Ian should have had a whole lot more before he died, but he died doing what he loved. He died making a difference in people’s lives. Maybe I’m selfish, but I want more than he had. I’ve been searching for something my whole life and I think I found what was missing in my soul with you. But I want the whole works. I want love and a man to make a life with, a family, kids, dogs and everything. I want it all and I want it with you!” She paused, feeling heat on her cheeks. “After a display like this, you’ll have a hard time getting rid of me.”
“Why is that?” Chase asked his words ragged.
Evelyn swallowed heavily and finally got the words out, “I’ve discovered that I love you. You showed me a world I could live in for the rest of my life and I’m selfish enough to admit that I want that. You have so much to teach me about life and love and I want to learn. You have compassion for people less fortunate than yourself, a loyalty to your friends and you aren’t afraid of doing the right thing even when it puts everything you hold dear on the line. I want you and everything that comes with you, if you’ll have me.” She stared at him. “There are still things from my past that I can’t remember. I may or may not ever get that back. Ron had told me a few things but not much. He told me that if it was meant to come back then it will. Can you live with that?”
Chase snuggled under the blankets with her. “I can live with that.” He hated to ask but he had to know, “What about your job?”
Evelyn sighed. “I love my work. It’s a noble profession but it’s also a dangerous one. There will always be people like the Trainers out there who want to take advantage of other people’s weakness. They want the easy money and don’t give a shit about the mess
they make of people’s lives. My job is one that needs good people to do it but…”
~*~
Chase closed his eyes against what she might say next. The last two weeks had been hell. At first, he’d been busy cleaning up the mess that the Trainers made of his house. He’d been in sort of a shock that Eve simply turned away from him and left with no word about how she felt or any goodbye even. “But what?” he asked with his heart in his throat.
“I don’t want to see that kind of heartbreak anymore. When Ian died, a part of me died in that alley with him. I’ve buried two very good people who didn’t deserve to die. Faith and then Ian. They both deserved a better life or at the very least, a chance to life a full life. They were both taken far too soon. It breaks my heart to know that they had to die that way. I loved them both but I don’t know if I can go through that kind of loss again.”
Chase hugged her close to him. He knew what heartache she was talking about. “Stay here with me and you’ll be part of my world from here on.”
“For how long?” Eve wondered.
“How about forever?” Chase asked. “I’ve never known a woman like you. I had no idea how my life would change the day I met you. You turned my life upside down in no time. If you want a family with dogs then let me give them to you. I can do that and so much more if you give me a chance, my Eve.”
She gave him a radiant smile. “Forever sounds like heaven to me,” she whispered as their lips met.
He kissed the breath from her, as he wanted to claim her as his over and over again.
Suddenly, she pushed at his chest and broke the fevered kiss.
He gazed down at her, lost in the depths of those green eyes that haunted him night after night since she’d left.
“I still need to know something,” she whispered.
He stilled at this. He thought they’d settled what was between them.