“I like to think of it that way,” he said and Ivy rolled her eyes before she drank some more of the wine. Not the answer I was looking for.
A silence hung between them for a few moments. Ivy didn’t really have anything to say in response to Travis’ so-called service. Fortunately for the sake of avoiding awkwardness, Travis had the skill to prevent conversation from dropping.
“You said that your capabilities are wasted at the cafe. So then tell me, Ivy Zimmerman, what is it that you really want to do?”
She licked her lips and tasted the wine. She was surprised that he even remembered that part of the conversation. He’s good, I’ll give him that.
“Well, if you must know, I am a digital artist… well, not really, because that isn’t my profession, but that is what I studied in college and that is what I want to do. But it doesn’t exactly pay the bills yet, not till I can get an actual job.”
She hid her flushed face by drinking some more of the wine. It wasn’t easy admitting that she had been a failure all her life, especially to someone who knew nothing but success. Travis was thinking, absorbing the information.
“And have you been looking?” he asked. “Have you been searching for jobs?”
“Yes, of course, I have. There aren’t that many jobs and I have very little experience.”
Travis looked unconvinced. Ivy supposed that Travis didn’t know the meaning of the word no.
“Do you have a portfolio?” he said.
Ivy huffed, heaving her shoulders, noticing the familiar feelings of frustration that were creeping up on her. These were exactly the kind of conversations she had with her dad. And the last thing she wanted was the feeling of patronizing on a date.
“Yes, I do, and I’ve been to interviews and there are just no jobs,” she said exasperatedly.
Travis clenched his jaw. He looked like he was back in the Marines, facing a tough enemy that wouldn’t fall so easily.
“Perseverance is key,” he said to her.
Ivy rolled her eyes with a sigh.
“And your idealism is nauseating,” she said sourly and regretted it the very next second.
He didn’t deserve that, Ivy knew. She was channeling her frustrations with her own life on him. She had placed her failures on him and turned him into the cliche meme that she saw on social media all the time. He, not those pictures on social media, suffered the brunt of her attack.
But Travis seemed to take it in his stride, and instead of responding or scowling, he took another sip of his drink and sat back in the chair. Probably not the first time someone has said something like that.
“I didn’t mean to offer you unsolicited advice,” he said.
Ivy pursed her lips together as she sought to choose her words more carefully.
“No, I’m sorry that I snapped. I didn’t mean to be rude, you were just trying to be encouraging,” she said.
This time, he smiled again.
“Look how the tables have turned. You’re the one apologizing now,” he said.
When their eyes met, Ivy noticed the glimmer in his gaze. He was looking at her face, but his gaze dropped to her breasts again and he held it there, without apology. Ivy straightened her back, instinctively thrusting her breasts out more. She had no idea why she was reacting this way to his gaze. It almost felt like he controlled her, the puppet, and she had no choice but to go along with it.
“So the dress, dinner…inviting me here,” Ivy said, speaking her thoughts without filter now. “Is this not your version of games people play in the art of materialistic seduction?”
Travis breathed in deeply and then stood up from his chair, to walk back to the bar. He was pouring himself another finger of whiskey while she still had half a glass of her wine remaining.
“No point in dancing around the subject, I suppose,” he said, leaning against the bar with his whiskey as his eyes studied Ivy’s body. “To put it simply, yes it is. In my twenties, this is what I did. I lavished women with dinner and compliments and gifts. Then over the years, I realized that we all want the same thing. Men and women; we want to feel good.”
She felt scrutinized under his gaze, naked and open as he watched her. She was trying to focus on the conversation, but the more he spoke the more she found it difficult to concentrate on his words. She could sense that her nipples were pebbled and sensitive as they grazed against her bra.
“Then why did you invite me here? You’re wrong to think that is all I want. I’m more than just a pleasure seeker.”
“I wanted to apologize for making an assumption,” he said.
“But why do you care?” she prodded him, her voice rising to a feverish pitch.
She couldn’t understand what she was doing here. She couldn’t understand many things about this situation. Why he was even remotely interested in a girl like her. With his experience, his wealth, the kind of women who threw themselves at him…
And he wants me?
“Because I want you,” he said and took a sip of his drink.
He had said the words confidently, unaffected by the consequences of his statement. It came naturally from him like he was completely unaware of the effect he had on her. Ivy couldn’t speak. She hadn’t expected him to be this blunt with her for the context, though in retrospect, she should have. After all, if he had asked her to get naked in his office, who was to say he wouldn’t do it in his home?
“I’ll admit I was being selfish. I wanted you, your body, and your everything. I was wrong in assuming that was all you wanted from me too.”
Ivy stood up with a jerk from the couch. The wine glass fell from her hand and crashed to the floor, the drink spilling all over the carpet. Her hands flew to her mouth and she held it clasped there.
“Don’t worry about it,” Travis said and she looked up at him, their gazes locking again. “Worry about me instead, Ivy Zimmerman. I want you.”
She took a few steps towards him, but he didn’t make a move. She began to feel a rush of panic. Now it was happening. Now it was getting close.
For the first time ever…
Panic hit her.
“I haven’t been with anyone before.”
The words came crashing out of her and she searched his face for a reaction. She sighed as she felt the confession might have just ruined her chances with him.
And yet, Travis’ drooping eyes remained fixed on her, looking at her from under his sharp brows. She had just made one of the most personal admissions of her life, but he had no reaction to that seemingly. In fact, he didn’t even seem to care.
“I am not surprised,” he finally said, and Ivy looked down at her feet. “You don’t need to be ashamed of it, Ivy.”
She forced herself to lift her eyes up at him. There was no point in denying all of the truths of their dynamic.
“I went to your office because I want you,” she said, her voice shaky. “And I came here tonight because I still want you.”
It hadn’t taken him long to get the truth out of her. Even though she had decided that she wouldn’t allow him to exercise his power over her, she was weak. She had fallen right into his trap and now, she felt like she had reached the point of no return.
“I know,” Travis said and she took another step towards him.
“So, I guess you’re right,” Ivy said. “I guess there’s no point in playing games. I’m foolish enough to be here, so we might as well do it.”
Ivy threw her arms out in a gesture of giving up. Travis’ brows rose up. For once, he looked surprised and caught off guard.
“Do it?” he said, his voice betraying the slightest of surprises.
“Yeah, do it. Have sex. You can have my virginity,” Ivy said in a loud screechy voice that she didn’t recognize.
Travis turned slightly, to put down his glass on the bar counter and then crossed his arms over his chest. He was standing with his feet apart, exuding strength and control while Ivy felt like she might have melted in a puddle to the floor. She couldn’t unde
rstand—he’d wanted her to take her clothes off in his office for a quickie, and now he seemed slow to act when Ivy had all but gotten naked before him?
“I don’t just do it, Ivy. And that is not what I planned to do with you.”
Ivy’s brows crossed. She found herself stammering.
“What are you talking about? In your office, we were going to have rushed wild sex if I hadn’t stopped it in time. What is the problem now?”
She took a few more steps towards him.
“I’ve changed my mind, Ivy,” he said, his voice tough once more. “I invited you here because I wanted more. I wasn’t lying. I told you, I don’t play games. Yes, we would have ‘done it’ if things had gone well. But I wanted a real dinner and a real evening with you. It seems, however, that you have also changed your mind, and we are not in agreement about what we want. If that is what you want, then I suggest you look elsewhere for it.”
She noticed how his voice had hardened again. He wasn’t smiling anymore and a dangerous glaze had formed a curtain on his deep blue eyes. He was impenetrable and she couldn’t guess what he was thinking.
But she narrowed it down enough that it left her flush with embarrassment in frustration.
“You’ve changed your mind? You invited me here for dinner and even though I didn’t want to admit it, I knew exactly why I accepted your invitation.” She crossed her arms. No, there was no stopping now. In fact, she didn’t want to not stop. She wanted to charge ahead, naked. “Do you want me to take off my clothes now?”
“Ivy, please stop. You’re not thinking straight. You need to go back home and take it easy. If you’ve never been with a man before, then I’m not the man you should experience your first time with, at least not this early in something that we could have.”
Ivy clenched her fists on her sides. She gritted her teeth and tried to control her rage. This was the second time Travis had successfully embarrassed her. He was playing with her. Teasing her. He manipulated her for his own pleasure.
He was playing games. He was playing the biggest game of all—complete emotional and physical manipulation. Ivy couldn’t believe it. She wanted to punch him.
“I knew this was a mistake!” she hissed as she turned on her heels, storming out of the living room.
“The car will take you home, Ivy,” she heard him say, but she continued on to the front door.
Still fuming, her mind nearly exploding with anger, she pulled the door open and stepped out into the cool air of the night. The chauffeur was leaning against the limo that was still parked where it had dropped her off, and he jumped into position and held the back door open for her. She considered whether she should just call a cab but then decided against it. No point in waiting any longer at Travis’ home.
Without another look back at the house, she stormed in a huff to the car and got in. She couldn’t wait to go back home and forget that she ever met this horrible man. This manipulative, emotionally controlling, psychological tricky man.
He only wants to see me flounder because I can’t get what I want.
Fine, two can play that game.
I won’t let him get what he wants.
Travis had let Ivy go without many words. When the moment came that he realized he had lost her, he simply wanted her safe and advised the limo driver to take her home.
But in the moments afterward, sitting in his massive home alone, without the girl that he thought would feel overjoyed that she would have what she’d wanted out of him for so long, he was hurt. Stunned. Confused.
Above all else, he felt betrayed.
He didn’t mind that Ivy had suddenly craved him sexually. He figured, though, that Ivy would still want to date him and then, eventually, they’d get around to having sex. He had hoped that that action would dispel the rumors and the image the paparazzi had seemingly enjoyed creating for him.
Instead, it made her angry. It had made her so angry that she’d called coming over a mistake.
Mistake.
That word burned at Travis’ psyche like nothing else could have. Rejection was one thing, but a mistake went to a level that Travis would have a hard time forgetting. And yet, even as he thought of how much that scarred him, he yearned for the chance to see her again in a normal state.
The confusion, to put it mildly, was overwhelming.
He sipped on his whiskey in silence for a long time. He thought about what Ivy had that he wanted. Beauty. Aggression. A certain level of brashness that showed she was not afraid of his stature.
But those very traits also made her difficult to deal with, especially since she had seemingly flipped for no apparent reason.
“Enough,” he said to himself.
He couldn’t take Ivy any more. She just wasn’t worth it and she just wasn’t ready for a relationship. If she was ready for a relationship, then she wouldn’t have freaked out as she had when Travis denied her sexual advances. Maybe she would’ve gotten flustered or even disappointed, but… “mistake.”
Every time Travis tried to think of a reason to keep Ivy, that word echoed in his mind. “Mistake.”
Well, sleeping with her would have been a mistake, especially since it would’ve involved taking her virginity. For the things that he would have done to have done it his way, the poor girl would have freaked out even worse in the moment of fire. She wouldn’t have known what had hit her and she would’ve begged for something different. And Travis wasn’t even thinking in particularly kinky terms—he just knew someone her age losing her virginity to a man like him would have inevitably had moments of yearning and regret.
No, she had to find someone else first. Maybe when she was more mature. Maybe when she had more experience. Maybe, in addition to looks, her personality was like…
Travis shuddered. His past always came up in relation to Ivy and it hurt so badly. Just once with Ivy, he wanted to think of her as a standalone woman and not in relation to someone that he had once loved.
The more he thought about it, though, the more he came to accept that while Ivy wasn’t ready for a relationship, maybe he wasn’t either. He was ready for something more than a casual hookup—in fact, he wanted something more, he wasn’t just ready for it—but to fall head over heels as Ivy seemed? To fall in love as Ivy would’ve within weeks, if not days?
No, Travis couldn’t take that. The first time he heard “I love you” from Ivy or someone else, it would not be a sweet moment but an emotionally fraught one. If he spent some time fixing himself, that might change, but not in his current state.
He let out a long sigh.
“Oh, Miss Zimmerman,” he said, staring out his window.
What a little ride we’ve been on. How delightfully adventurous and fun you’ve made these encounters we’ve had.
But it’s just as well that we are not going any further. Neither of us are ready for what we say we want. We need to work on ourselves first.
So, maybe someday, Ivy.
A strange thing happened, though, as Travis finished his whiskey and tried to finish his thoughts on Ivy.
He kept thinking about what “someday” would look like. He kept imagining what would happen if they ever did want the same thing at the same time.
His mind told him to end it.
But his heart, no matter how heavily scolded by his mind, wasn’t ready to quit.
By the time Ivy had gone to bed and tried to sleep, though, she knew why she had run away. And it had very little to do with Travis Dunn’s behavior, given that it actually aligned with what she had wanted from him all along.
Her fear of rejection and her lack of self-confidence were the very reasons why she had never allowed anyone to get close to her. It was why she had always shied away from sex. The longer she waited, the more her inexperience grew. She was 24 years old now and still a virgin.
And in a moment of desperation, she had thrown herself at Travis. And his response?
Travis Dunn had outrightly rejected her. Even though he had bought her a dre
ss, invited her to his home…at the last minute, he had seemingly changed his mind. Just at the very moment when she was ready to give herself to him. She was ready. She had never wanted to be with a man more. She had forgotten all her inhibitions, let go of her pride and her self-doubts and wanted to strip there, right in front of him.
But Travis had told her that she wasn’t thinking straight and he had commanded her to go home.
Ivy was embarrassed and still reeling from her uncontrollable desire for him. She was embarrassed at being humiliated, but she was embarrassed at her own behavior as well. She lay awake in bed for hours, feeling frustrated. Around 2 a.m., even though she had work the next day, she leaped out and switched on her laptop. She couldn’t distract herself from thinking about what a complete fool she had made of herself, but she had to at least try.
On the internet, she tried looking for all the information she could find on Travis Dunn. Some of the information she knew already. Some of the highlights she found included: Marine who had voluntarily retired. He’d collected investors for his construction company, made Millions of dollars in turnover in the first five years, and was worth billions now.
In short, Travis Dunn was the poster child of the American Dream. People wrote articles about his business life and how he had overcome so much from his time at war. Ivy imagined that people would someday write biographies about him or study him in business schools.
But for Travis Dunn, the man? That was harder.
About his personal life, Ivy could find out very little. Most of the stuff was garbage, rumors, and tall tales, but almost no facts. There were fan sites dedicated to him, with paparazzi and tabloid photos of Travis in designer suits and tailored clothing, walking out of clubs, with beautiful women dangling from his arms. He was well known as a womanizer, for his fast cars, and his successful business deals. He had managed to create a reputation for being a hard sell. A no-nonsense, respected businessman and yet a sex symbol for women all over the country. Ivy tried to take it all with a grain of salt—she’d met and spoken with the real man, after all—but it was hard to just outright ignore it.
His Royal Majesty : A Royal Wedding Romance Page 35