Terrah turned off the television, hurled the remote towards the other end of the couch and got up.
“Damn it!”
Marching back into the kitchen, she poured more coffee into her mug and reached for the Baileys on top of her fridge. She poured in an indulgent dollop of the liqueur and took a sip just as her phone began to ring.
With another muttered curse, Terrah reached for her cordless.
“Hello—?”
“Girl, do you know they were talking about you on—”
“I know, Audrey. Why aren’t you at work?”
“I’m working from home today. God, I can’t stand that show. I was only watching it because I was too lazy to find the remote and change the channel. Forget about all that… I can’t believe that model said that.”
“What model?”
“You didn’t watch it all?”
“No. I couldn’t stomach more than a few minutes.”
Terrah took another sip of her laced coffee. The warm liquid felt like fire going down her tight throat.
“I know.” Audrey paused. “Are you okay?”
“Just tell me what the model said. What was her name?”
“You know…the super fragile-looking blonde one.”
“Jocelyn Tyler?”
“Yup. Those females posted a clip of her talking about the sexy shots from that photo shoot in Hawaii. Jocelyn said the chemistry between her and Nick Tasso translated so well in photos because of their mutual attraction.”
Terrah squeezed the bridge of her nose and briefly closed her eyes. “Well, what she said wasn’t true. She’s just trying to drum up more publicity for her career. There was nothing going on between those two in Hawaii.”
“Oh, I know, because there was something going on between the two of you. Those pics I just saw of the two of you together were hot, sis!”
“Stop it.”
“They were.”
“Well, I couldn’t deny that something was going on if I wanted to, with those photos of us kissing no doubt circling the Internet by now.”
“And why would you want to? Was that kiss as hot as it looked?”
“Audrey, this is my private life on display for all to see. I can’t believe my curves are being discussed on daytime television.”
“Try not to let it get to you. Besides, you were wearing the hell outta that dress.”
Terrah scoffed.
“No, really, you looked amazing and you were photographed kissing Nick Tasso! Worse things could happen.”
“I knew about the photos—”
“And you didn’t tell me? I’m still waiting to hear all the juicy details about your trip to Hawaii.”
“Audrey…”
Her sister sighed on the other end. “You always were the secretive one. Wait a second. They’re talking about you guys again.”
“Just turn it off, Audrey.”
“Shh!”
Terrah sighed as she reached for the bottle of Baileys.
“Omigod!”
“What?” Terrah asked, slamming the bottle onto the counter.
A few seconds of silence passed.
“Audrey!”
“They were talking about Jocelyn and Nick.”
“Okay, nothing new there.”
“No, this is new.”
“What is?”
“Keep in mind it’s a rumour.”
“Just tell me what they said!”
Audrey sighed. “It’s been rumoured that Jocelyn’s pregnant with Nick’s child.”
Terrah froze as her sister’s words seeped into her brain.
Jocelyn pregnant with Nick’s child?
Impossible. He would have told her.
“I don’t believe it.”
“It might not be true.”
Terrah laughed. “I thought I’d prepared myself for seeing my picture plastered on television and having my weight offered up for table discussion, but this…”
“Is crazy,” Audrey finished.
Terrah squeezed the phone.
It couldn’t be true.
“Terrah?”
“I’m here.”
“I know it’s a lot to handle. Nick didn’t say anything?”
“No.”
“Well, they’re always saying this and that star’s pregnant when they’re not. Don’t jump to any conclusions just yet.”
Terrah didn’t answer, recalling how tense Nick had been at certain times on the island. She remembered Jocelyn wanting to talk to him about something and the strange vibe she’d felt between them at the time.
“Terrah, are you there?”
“I’m here.”
“Don’t freak out about this until you talk to him, okay?”
“Sure.”
“That doesn’t sound convincing, but I’ll take it. Well, at least tell me his kiss—that one I just saw on my flat screen—was as erotic as it looked.”
Terrah smiled against the phone, despite her mounting anxiety. “Sis, it totally was.”
Audrey laughed. “There was no mistaking the chemistry between you and Nick when I saw that photo. So, are you guys officially dating?”
“We haven’t put a term on our relationship.”
“Relationship, eh? Well, that goes way past just dating. I didn’t even hear you use that term with what’s his name?”
“Never mind.”
“With Nevermind. So, just how into Nick are you, big sister?”
“All the way, Audrey.”
“Hold up! Are we talking love here?”
“I know, and after what you just told me…” Terrah sighed. “Audrey, what am I going to do?”
“Talk to Nick.”
“Even if the pregnancy rumour is false, I don’t know if I can deal with all that comes along with being involved with a person in the spotlight.”
“There would be challenges you’d undoubtedly have to face, but you have to remember, people are going to say and think whatever they want about you. Remember what I used to tell you in high school?”
Terrah sighed with a slow grin. “Never let someone make you feel what they think about you. Good advice, but it wasn’t easy then and it isn’t easy now.”
“I know.”
“And what if Jocelyn is carrying his child?”
“Whether she is or isn’t won’t change how you feel about him, will it?”
“No.”
“Then I think you should tell him how you really feel.”
Terrah squeezed the phone in her hand. “Thank you for not riding me about whether I can love him after such a short time.”
“Hey, I know you. You wouldn’t say those three words lightly.”
“Aud, I could be wrong… Wrong about him. Wrong about what I feel.”
“Is your heart telling you that?”
Terrah thought about Nick’s smile and slowly shook her head. “I don’t think so.”
“When do you see him again?”
“Tonight.”
“Well, I’m sure Nick’s going to tell you that rumour is a crock of poo. Now, tell me what you’re going to wear. I know it’s something fabulous!”
Terrah distractedly described her dress to her sister, wondering what Nick would say about the rumour. She couldn’t wait to look him in the eyes and find out the truth. Surely, he would’ve told her if he had known about Jocelyn.
Tonight, she’d wanted to tell him she loved him, had been ready to trust her feelings—and him—one hundred per cent.
Was she about to discover she’d made a mistake in love again?
Chapter Nineteen
Nick walked up to Terrah’s condo building and buzzed up to her apartment while wishing he could change the past twenty-four hours. He waited for her to answer, anxious to see and talk to her. Originally, they’d been supposed to meet at the restaurant, but, after the firestorm he’d witnessed in the media concerning him and Jocelyn, he’d told her he’d pick her up. The cat was out of the bag, and he’d been wrong not to tell Terr
ah himself when he’d had the chance. She knew about Jocelyn. He could hear it in her voice, even though she had said nothing about it on the phone to him. He’d half expected her to cancel their plans and tell him to go to hell.
“Hello?”
Her voice coming through the intercom made him smile.
“Terrah, it’s Nick.”
“Come on up.”
Nick opened the door as it buzzed. He stepped inside the entryway, walked up to Terrah’s door and knocked. The door swung open and Nick breathed in the familiar scent of her perfume as his gaze ran over her. She was stunning in a teal dress that complemented her body. Her hair was pulled up into an elegant French twist, and dangly gold earrings twinkled in the light as she closed the door behind him and lifted her face to his.
“Hello, Terrah.”
“Hi.”
“I’ve missed you.”
She gave him a small smile. “How was your flight in?”
“Long.”
Nick followed her into the living room, admiring the larger-than-life photos of famous black models on her brick-red, painted wall. Each photo showcased the exotic makeup on the model’s face. Her loft was roomy and stylish, decorated with floor-length mirrors and with artsy knick-knacks in every corner.
“I love these,” Nick said gesturing towards her artwork.
“Thanks. I admire the models and the incredible makeup in those shots. Do you want something to drink before we go to dinner?”
“No, thanks.” Nick watched Terrah turn off one of the lamps by her dark leather couch. He’d expected her to ask him about Jocelyn the moment he’d seen her. “We need to talk about something before we go. I think you already know what I’m about to bring up.”
Terrah sighed. “Just tell me the rumour isn’t true, Nick. Tell me you’re not the father of Jocelyn’s baby.”
The edge in her voice filled him with regret.
“Jocelyn is pregnant and there is a chance I’m the father.”
“Wow.” Terrah shook her head as he crossed the wood flooring to stand in front of her. “Unbelievable. How long have you known about this?”
“She told me in Hawaii.”
Terrah stared up at him, and the disappointment in her brown eyes hurt his heart.
“I asked you more than once if something was wrong, and you didn’t tell me.”
“I didn’t tell you because I don’t know anything for sure, and because I knew it would ruin the rest of our stay. I knew you’d start second-guessing us.”
“I wish you had told me, Nick.”
“I know, and I’m sorry, Terrah.” Nick scratched his chin, frustrated he’d hurt Terrah. “Would you have stayed in Hawaii with me if I had?”
He heard Terrah exhale as she shook her head.
“Probably not.”
“And that would’ve been a mistake…a mistake on top of the one I made with Jocelyn.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Terrah, we needed that time on the island together. I needed you to know that what I am feeling toward you is more than just physical attraction.”
“So you withheld a secret like this from me? Is that how you’re going to spin this?”
“Terrah, I’m crazy about you. I didn’t want you to use this as an excuse to walk away from me.”
“That wasn’t fair.”
“I know.”
She looked beautiful as she glared at him…rightfully indignant and sexy as hell. He wanted to kiss her and make her remember how much they had between them before she possibly threw it all away.
“I knew something was bothering you. I just couldn’t have fathomed the cause. It wasn’t fair for you to invite me to stay in Hawaii… to romance me”—her voice hardened—“to make me feel—”
“What do you feel, Terrah?”
She averted her gaze from his as she wrapped her arms under her breasts.
“I don’t know.”
“Yes, you do.”
Terrah met his eyes as she shrugged, overwhelmed by what he’d told her. “You don’t get to come here, drop this little nugget of news on me and expect me to bare my soul to you right here and now.”
“I know you’re angry.”
“I am.” Terrah ran a hand over her straightened hair. “I don’t know what you expect me to say, here.”
“I just want you to be honest about what you feel.”
Terrah sighed, lowering her eyes from his to the strong column of his neck. Even in the middle of an argument, she wanted him. He looked amazing in his dinner tux, so tall and gorgeous with his dark locks falling across his eyes.
“Terrah?”
She lifted her gaze to his. “I-I…was beginning to trust you…to trust us.”
Nick took a step forward and wrapped his arms around her waist. “You can trust me, and how I feel about you.”
His husky words pierced through her fears and doubts. She did believe him.
“And how do you feel, Nick?”
“Like I don’t want to ever let you go.”
He hugged her tightly as she rested her head on his chest and closed her eyes, with her cheek against his dinner jacket. “I know this thing with Jocelyn is complicated, but I want you to know that I want you in my life.” Nick pulled back and took her face into his hands. “Do you understand why I didn’t tell you about this?”
“I understand, but I’m not happy about it.”
Terrah knew he wouldn’t intentionally try to hurt her. There was no way he could look at her the way he did and not care for her. His hands slipped from her face, and Terrah averted her gaze from his.
“What will you do if the baby is yours?”
Nick exhaled. “If it is… I’ll make sure I’m a part of the baby’s life.”
Terrah nodded, still unable to look at him. She’d expected him to say nothing less.
“This isn’t how I imagined becoming a father.”
“If you are.”
“If I am.”
She lifted her face to his as he glanced at her, and the stress of the situation was evident on his handsome face. Terrah forgot about her anger and disappointment. She slid her hands around his torso and hugged him. The scent of his cologne enraptured her as he held her close.
“So are you going to tell me now we can no longer see one another?” Nick asked as he looked down at her.
“No.”
There was no way she could walk away from him at this point, and Terrah was willing to bet he knew it.
“Does this mean you forgive me for not sharing this with you?” Nick asked as he looked down at her.
“It means I’m ready to go to dinner.”
“All right, then. Shall we?”
Terrah grabbed her purse off the bar counter. “Yes, we shall. As long as you understand this is the last time you’ll ever keep a secret that affects us both from me.”
Nick held her gaze as he spoke. “Understood.”
“Good. Let’s go.”
She led the way to her front door with a myriad of emotions clouding her thoughts. Relationships were complicated enough without the extra drama she was going to have to deal with regarding Nick and Jocelyn’s situation. As much as her heart wanted her not to, Terrah wondered if she’d made a mistake by not ending things with Nick.
* * * *
Terrah walked out of Barneys humming a love song with packages in both hands. She was happy. The past month had flown by, between work assignments and spending time with Nick. He’d been in the States for the past two weeks and they’d made the most of their time together. Most nights they hadn’t even gone out, and Terrah hadn’t minded. She simply enjoyed spending time with him, wherever they were.
Not even the media’s focus on Jocelyn’s pregnancy or Terrah’s weight and involvement with Nick could bring down her mood. She’d stopped watching the news, avoided the talk shows and ignored the tabloid magazines in the grocery store. Her feelings towards Nick were real and, more than anything, Terrah wanted to tel
l him how she truly felt, but the timing always seemed off.
Terrah put on her shades and acknowledged to herself that timing had nothing to do with why she was holding back the ‘L’ word from Nick.
She was scared.
What if uttering those three little words changed everything between them?
Her cell rang and Terrah sighed. She shuffled her bags to reach into her purse and answer the call.
“Hello?”
“Hey, babe, it’s me.”
Terrah smiled as she always did when he called her. “Hey…I was just thinking about you.” She waited for him to say his usual, ‘What were you thinking?’, but there was only silence. “Nick, what’s wrong?”
“Jocelyn just called to tell me she miscarried.”
Terrah stopped walking in the middle of Madison Avenue. “Oh, wow. How are you?”
“You know, I’m sorry for her. She put up a cool front, but I could tell she was upset. I didn’t even know if the baby was mine, but…”
“But?” Terrah prompted when he fell silent.
Nick cursed. “I can’t help feeling relieved and that makes me feel guilty as hell. I don’t know what to do here.”
The angst in his voice made her wish she were with him.
“You did what you were supposed to do, Nick, given the circumstances. Where are you?”
“Finishing up a shoot. I really can’t talk much longer, but I wanted to let you know.”
“Nick, it’s okay to feel what you’re feeling. I know you didn’t want this to happen to Jocelyn.”
“Yeah.”
“Do you still want to keep our dinner plans for tonight?”
“Yes. I’ll send a car for you at seven.”
“Okay…and Nick?”
“Yes?”
I love you.
“I can’t wait to see you.”
“You, too, baby.”
“Bye.”
Terrah ended the call, surprised by the tears in her eyes. The inner turmoil she could hear in his voice bothered her. She was going to wrap her arms around him the moment she saw him and tell him she loved him.
Tonight, Nick would know he had all of her heart.
* * * *
“Did I tell you how gorgeous you look tonight?” Nick asked Terrah, loving the way her full lips curved into a sexy grin.
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