Perfect Contradiction

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Perfect Contradiction Page 5

by Peggy Martinez


  “Ma’am? Ma’am?” I pulled my tear-filled gaze away from the scene at the bar. “You ready to be seated? Is it just you?” The hostess stood there with a menu in her hand.

  I took a step back. “It’s just me, but I don’t need a seat,” I mumbled as I hurried out of the restaurant.

  The drive home from St. Louis wasn’t a long one, but if felt to me like it took ages. When I finally pulled up in front of the house, I was tired and hungry. Two things a pregnant woman should never be at the same time. I put my packages on my bed and changed into soft pajama bottoms and a T-shirt. Putting the baby quilt in a drawer, I took the rest of my purchases downstairs with me.

  Besides the beautiful, old basket I’d purchased, I had also found several hand-embroidered table linens, a beautiful glass cake stand with a glass lid, some new baking dishes, and another vintage apron to add to my ever-growing collection that hung on an eclectic set of antique knobs on my kitchen wall. Instead of hanging the apron up on the wall with the others, though, I tied it around my waist and got to work. Nothing could get my mind off my troubles quite like baking. I preheated the oven, cranked up the sound on my iPod dock, and started pulling ingredients out of the cabinets. One peach cobbler, four dozen cookies, and three batches of jumbo muffins later, I sat down to call Beth.

  “Well, you took your sweet time to call. I hope this means you guys had a good, long talk,” she started out. I blew out a breath and rubbed the white flour splotch on my hand until it was gone.

  “Jen?” she asked after a moment. “What happened?”

  “I didn’t tell him, Beth,” I said softly.

  “What do you mean? I thought you were going to,” she said gently.

  “I was. At least, I wanted to. But then….” The picture of Hunter with the blonde at the restaurant flashed in my memory, and I cringed.

  “Then, what?” Beth asked.

  “Then I saw him with someone,” I said softly.

  Beth hissed in a breath through her teeth. “You mean….”

  I nodded and closed my eyes. “Yeah. A woman.”

  “Oh, hun, that doesn’t mean anything. He told you he loved you a few weeks ago. A guy like Hunter doesn’t get over something that quickly.”

  “You didn’t see him,” I accused. “You didn’t see the way they acted together.” I blew out a breath. Beth waited on the line.

  “He looked happy, Beth,” I said. “They looked like they belonged together. Both beautiful, successful people living in the city. No strings. No huge commitments. No baby to hold them back… not like me.”

  As I said it, I knew it was what had been on my mind the whole time since leaving the restaurant. It was what hurt the most. Not that he had moved on so quickly after I told him I didn’t want him around, even though I guess I hadn’t expected him to get over me quite that quickly. No, that wasn’t what had slapped me in the face and stung so bad.

  What it all boiled down to was the fact that Hunter was free. Free to do anything. Go anywhere. Be with anyone. He had no strings holding him down… not like me. I’d said it to Beth. I kind of felt trapped. I was already in love with the baby and I wouldn’t trade being pregnant right then for anything in the world, but I still had that small, dark thought that it wasn’t something I’d have chosen to happen to me. Yet, I had no choice but to accept it and own it. I knew those feeling were natural, but it didn’t make me feel even the slightest bit better when I had them. I just didn’t want Hunter to have them too. I didn’t want to be the one to attach those strings. He’d grow to resent me for it. Worse, he might grow to resent the baby for it, and I never wanted that to happen.

  “That isn’t fair, Jen. It isn’t fair to you or to the baby. You should still tell him.”

  I knew she would say that. But I had already made up my mind. “I’ve already decided that I’m not going to tell him,” I said.

  “Jen….”

  “And I don’t want the Wrights, including Matt, to know the truth either,” I told her.

  “I don’t know, Jen… I mean, do you realize what this will mean for you?”

  I swallowed. I already thought that through as well, about the time the second batch of muffins were baking. “I know, Beth,” I answered. “I’ll be completely and utterly alone. Pregnant in a small town with no one even knowing who knocked me up. People will gossip either way, but they would have gossiped just a little less loudly if they knew I was pregnant with a Wright baby.”

  “Hunter would do the right thing by you, Jen.”

  I clenched my jaw. “Hunter would do what is expected of him, and that doesn’t mean it is right by me,” I said a little more harshly than I intended.

  “I didn’t mean…”

  “I know, Beth. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap at ya.”

  “It’s okay, Jen, I just hate it that you’re hurting,” Beth said.

  “I don’t think that can be helped right now,” I answered softly. “But it will get better in time, don’t you think?”

  “I’m sure it will,” she said immediately. “And I’ll be here to help you in any way I can, you know that.”

  I smiled. I did indeed know that. One person I’d always be able to count on was Beth. “Thanks, Beth.”

  “What are best friends for?” she asked softly.

  “Well, one thing you can be good for is coming over here tomorrow to see all the new stuff I bought,” I said quickly.

  “Ohh, I can’t wait. I do love seeing your antique store finds.”

  “Well, I do find some great stuff,” I said with a chuckle. “Plus, I kind of, umm, have a lot of stuff to send home with you,” I added. There was a pause on the other end of the phone.

  “Oh, Jen. You baked all afternoon, didn’t you?”

  I tried not to sound too miffed. “Well, I did want to try out a new muffin recipe,” I countered.

  “What else did you make?” she asked. I could hear the smile in her voice.

  “Just a cobbler… and a few dozen cookies… and a couple batches of muffins,” I admitted. Beth was giggling on the other end.

  “Hey, well, at least you’re productive when you’re upset,” she said with a laugh.

  “You’re just happy you get to reap the benefits,” I accused.

  “Dang right!”

  I was laughing now. Beth was no stranger to my emotionally charged baking.

  “Beth….” She stopped laughing and waited. “I don’t want anyone to know that Hunter is the baby’s father. And I mean, like, ever.” Silence.

  “Beth?”

  “Okay, Jen. I’ll keep it a secret for you, but I’m letting you know now I don’t like it,” she answered. “This is gonna come back to bite you in the hiney; you mark my words.”

  I grinned at her use of the word “hiney”. She was trying to watch her language. “Thank you, Jen,” I said sincerely. “I knew I could count on you.”

  “Yeah, well, don’t think for a second that I don’t expect a lot of those muffins and cookies to be coming home with me tomorrow,” she said.

  “Done,” I answered quickly.

  “And you know, Elizabeth is an awfully nice name if you happen to have a girl…”

  I laughed. I thanked God every day for putting Beth in my life. “Noted.”

  “I’ll see you tomorrow, Jen,” Beth said. “And don’t worry, everything’s gonna turn out alright.”

  “Okay, I’ll see ya tomorrow,” I answered before hanging up the phone. I spent the rest of the evening cleaning my kitchen and reorganizing the cabinets and drawers.

  I sat on the edge of my bed a few hours later, tired, but in a good way. The gift bag I was going to give Hunter was sitting there. I opened it up and pulled out the things I’d bought to announce the pregnancy to him. A card, a DVD of Nine Months, a DVD of What to Expect When You’re Expecting, a DVD of the first show we watched on a date… Braveheart, a cigar, and the tiniest pair of cowboy boots I’d ever seen. I sighed, put everything back in the bag, and then shoved it under the
baby quilt in my chest of drawers. When I finally made it to bed, I was exhausted. Exhausted enough to fall into a deep, carefree sleep.

  “Jen, everything looks amazing!” Beth gushed. I was grinning from ear to ear. The whole place did look great. We were standing in the living room. There were two sofas, two armchairs¸ the piano, and a small window seat in the room. It all fit together perfectly, and some of it was furniture I’d already had that just felt wrong to get rid of. I’d taken down most of the personal pictures of me growing up, but I did leave two pictures of my momma and me on the piano. One of us when I was a baby and one of us when I was grown. Those weren’t going anywhere.

  “Let’s take a tour,” I suggested excitedly. Beth hadn’t been by in a week, and a lot of the finishing touches were done in that time.

  “Ohh, look at the swinging door!” Beth squealed. I pushed through it lightly and held it open for her. That swinging door had once hung in a saloon from the late 1800s, but I wasn’t going to advertise that interesting little tidbit. The guys had sanded it down and painted it to fit the rest of the house. The door led right into the bakery portion of the house, which used to be my formal dining area. Now it held two small, round tea tables and chairs. It also had a long, glass counter display box that took up most of one wall with just enough room for someone to step behind it and sell the baked good. A tiny cash register sat on the far corner of the counter. An eclectic collection of baskets and cake stands that I’d collected for the past few weeks lined the top of the rest of the counter. The window near the small tables had white lace curtains pulled back so guests could see out into the front yard. The front porch swing was right outside the window.

  “It’s perfect,” Beth said after walking around the room.

  “Let me show you the rooms,” I said after a moment. I showed her the few finishing touches upstairs that she hadn’t seen. A throw blanket here, an old vase there, even an antique toy truck I’d picked up for the multicolored room. It went perfectly.

  “Ladies… we’re ready for you.” Matt’s voice reached us from downstairs. My eyes widened. Pastor Wright and Matthew were out in the yard working on last two things I needed done before the grand opening in a few days.

  “They’re ready,” Beth said excitedly. “Are you?” she asked.

  “I am,” I said, nodding my head. And I thought I was. We headed down the stairs, refraining from rushing down them like a couple of schoolgirls, but it was a very near thing. When we got outside, I walked quickly with Beth to the front lawn. I stopped, my eyes welling up as I took it all in. Matt and Pastor Wright stood there with huge grins on their faces. The sign stood proudly in my front yard, close to the road. It hailed my home proudly as the Countryside Inn and Bakery. The sign was wooden and distressed purposely to look a little old fashioned, just like my house. Beth wound her arm through mine as we turned to look at the house itself. A sign hung there too. From two chains, a smaller, identical sign to the one in the yard hung from the porch just above the stairs. It looked like it was meant to hang there, that it had always been a part of the house. It was perfect.

  “Your momma would’ve been so proud,” Beth whispered.

  I smiled and hugged her arm tightly. “Yes, she would have been,” I answered.

  “Thank you so much, Pastor Wright, Matt,” I said after a moment.

  “It was our pleasure,” Pastor Wright answered with a smile. They began getting all their tools together and loading up their truck while Beth and I just stood there staring at the house.

  “So, you’re going to do this,” Beth said softly. I knew she wasn’t just talking about the inn.

  “I am. It’s for the best,” I said. I could feel her eyes on me, watching me as I stood there with my chin tilted defiantly.

  “Okay,” she answered after a moment and a sigh.

  “Okay,” I agreed. Now to stick with my plan and everything would turn out hunky-dory.

  “Well, this time next week, you’re going to be a busy lady with the inn opening up.”

  I was grateful that Beth had decided to change the subject. “Yeah, getting up that early to bake each morning is gonna be hell,” I said with a groan.

  Beth smiled widely. “My niece, little Elizabeth, doesn’t like early mornings?’ she asked in baby talk. She reached out a hand, but I slapped it away.

  “Don’t you even dare, Elizabeth Michaels Wright!” I huffed. Beth chuckled, but smartly let her hand fall away before getting too close to my stomach. “And besides… it could be a boy.” Beth snorted in derision as I grinned.

  “Beth! We’re ready to head out.” Beth waved over to Matt.

  “Well, I gotta get going. I’ll be over the day before the grand opening to stay the night and lend a hand like I promised,” Beth said.

  “Sounds good. We’ll see how much your taste testing comes in handy,” I said with a grin.

  Beth put both her hand on her hips. “Quality control is an important part of any growing business,” she said matter-of-factly.

  I laughed. “And you are definitely highly qualified in that department,” I joked.

  Beth beamed. “I’m gonna take that as a compliment.”

  “You should,” I agreed. “I’ll see you in six days then. Please thank Pastor Wright and Matt for me again.” Beth nodded as she left me standing in my yard to leave with the Wrights.

  I walked slowly to the house and curled my legs up beneath me as I sat in my porch swing. This time next week, I am going to be a business owner, I thought. I laid a hand on my not-so-flat-any-longer stomach. In a few short months, I am going to be a mommy, I added.

  Everything was about to change.

  “I can’t believe today is the day,” Beth said again. I was rearranging the cookies and muffins in the case again. I couldn’t stand still. I’d been up since before the butt crack of dawn, baking and making sure everything was going to go perfectly that day. I hadn’t stopped for a second to even catch my breath. Breathing could wait until after the grand opening was over.

  “Oh, God,” I muttered beneath my breath.

  “What? What is it?” Beth asked in panic.

  “What if no one shows up? What if they think the inn isn’t nice enough? What if they think my prices are too high or my new muffins suck?” Words poured out, and my head suddenly felt like it was going to explode from the pressure there.

  “Whoa, Jen,” Beth said, coming over to pull me down into one of the small chairs in the bakery. “People are going to show up, I promise. Nothing this big has happened in Salem in so long time, they’ll show up just for something to do.”

  I snorted. Leave it to Beth to say something so entirely ridiculous and… true.

  “Your house was beautiful to begin with. Now… now it is truly a sight to see,” she added. Her words were heartfelt, and I knew she meant each one of them. I smiled at her in thanks. “And don’t get me started on your prices. You wanna be robbed blind, then that’s your business. But, I’m just sayin’ that if it were me, I’d raise ‘em… your banana nut muffins are good enough to make a grown man weep.”

  “Thank you, Beth. I’m just freaking out a little here, I guess.”

  “You’re entitled to. Just get over it quick, ‘cause it’s about that time,” she said quickly, standing up.

  I glanced over at the clock… ten minutes ‘til opening time. Sweet baby Jesus. Standing up, I pulled my apron off. I was wearing a stretchy, black pencil skirt that hit just below my knees and a cream-colored, blouse with black polka dots and a scooped neckline. Using my apron to wipe off the white sprinkles of flour on my pumps, I then straightened up. It was time.

  Beth looked me over, eyeballing my tummy area hard. “You ain’t got much more time to hide your baby bump,” she whispered.

  I rolled my eyes. “I’m fully aware of that fact,” I said, smoothing a hand over my slightly bulging midsection. Mini Blob needed more room. Beth opened her mouth to say something else when the sound of vehicles drew our attention to the bakery wind
ow. Cars and trucks were pulling in. People were actually showing up. I turned to Beth with a huge grin on my face. Her face mirrored my excitement.

  “Let’s go welcome your customers,” Beth said proudly.

  I took a deep breath. “Yes, let’s,” I answered sounding more confident than I felt. We left the bakery area through the swinging door and opened up the front door to welcome people to the inn.

  I was officially open for business.

  “You know, I think I’ll take your final dozen chocolate chip cookies, after all,” Mrs. McGregor said with a devious grin. “I think the grandkids will enjoy them when they come to visit this evening.”

  “Yes, ma’am,” I answered with a smile. “I’ll package them up for you. Did you get enough sweet tea? I think there’s still a little left if you’d like a fresh glass,” I added as I pulled out the nearly empty cookie tray from the display case.

  “No, no, dear. I’ll be floatin’ away if I drink anymore.” I laughed lightly and handed her the box of cookies over the counter. She handed me cash and waited while I made change for her.

  “The inn looks lovely, Jennifer,” she said sweetly. “Your momma would’ve been so proud of what you’ve done here.”

  I smiled and handed her the change. “Thank you, Mrs. McGregor. I truly appreciate you sayin’ so.”

  She patted my hand and then reached over to grab a business card. “You know, I’ve got someone coming to town in a few weeks or so who might need a place to stay. I’ll be sure to send him your way.” I smiled at the elderly lady. Old Mrs. McGregor had to be nearing eighty years old. I wasn’t sure how she got around so well, but I was sure that if she remembered, she’d send him my way.

 

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