by Iris Bolling
“And on what planet do you think I would let you?” JD bellowed.
Tracy raised her eyebrow. “Don’t raise your voice at me,” she said as she tried to move.
He held her in place. “Then talk like the intelligent woman I know you are and not like a stupid little schoolgirl.”
Tracy did not like the tone or volume of JD’s voice and began to move off him. He grabbed her, pushed her backwards, and then rolled on top of her. JD was mad; not pissed, not a little upset, but mad. How in the hell could she even think about leaving me now? He thought.
Tracy could not believe how quick and strong JD was. As she looked up, recovering from the sudden moment, she actually thought she would see fire coming out of his nose any moment. His breathing so heavy with anger, she knew instantly she had said something wrong. She looked up at him with innocent eyes, “I take it this was not a good time to say that.”
JD looked down at her and he wasn’t sure if he saw fear or confusion in her eyes. Either way, he did not like what he was seeing. Taking a moment to compose himself, he adjusted her beneath him placing his legs on the outside of hers and relaxed his body. “There will never be a good time for you to say that to me, Tracy. I love you. I don’t think it, I don’t wonder about it. I know I am in love with you. The thought of you leaving me for any reason is unacceptable.”
JD gently pushed her hair back off her face with his finger, looked at her and smiled. What he saw reflected in her eyes was all he could ever want or need in a woman: Love. It surprised him when he said he loved her, but he did. He gave her a feather-light kiss. “Right now I am not interested in Carolyn, Cynthia or Turk. All I’m interested in is right here,” he said, looking up and down her body.
Tracy didn’t know if it was the way Jeffery was looking at her or the fact that she could feel his manhood against her thigh. Whatever it was caused her body to respond with a need to feel more of him. She placed her arms around his neck and pulled his lips to meet hers in a passionate kiss. His hands ran down her body and she followed his lead with her own exploration. Her hands traveled up his muscular arms, across his wide shoulders and down his back.
Jeffery wasn’t sure if it was the kiss or her hands exploring his body, but the heat between the two of them was unbearable. He reluctantly left her lips to pull her shirt over her head, exposing her breasts. He kissed each mound, but then returned to her lips when she gently moaned. He kissed her gently at first, but the intensity grew as he parted her lips with his tongue and delved deeper.
He instinctively pulled her closer, but it wasn’t close enough for Tracy. She wanted to feel his naked skin against her, so she tugged at his shirt. Jeffery stopped and pulled the shirt over his head and threw it to the floor. As he began kissing the base of her throat, Tracy reared her head backward. He heard her moan softly and felt her body begin to move beneath him. He ran his tongue down to her breast, circling one while he caressed the other with his hand. He sucked, licked and massaged both, getting his fill, until her nipples were erect.
Tracy held him tight, not wanting the warm feeling that was surging through her body to stop. She pushed her body closer to his and ran her hand down his back. Just the touch of her hand on his naked skin almost rendered Jeffery senseless. He released her breasts and went back to her lips, kissing her with an urgency that she matched.
He moved to her side, not breaking the kiss, then ran his hand down her flat stomach to her thighs. Reaching inside her sweatpants he moved her panties to the side, and then pressed against her warmth. He heard a moan escape in her throat as she pressed her hips up to his hand. His mind registered how soft and moist she was, and he needed to feel more. He slipped a finger inside and reveled in her reaction. Jeffery moaned. She was wet and ready. Stop, damn it, stop; something isn’t right. But his fingers were not listening, as another one entered her.
There was an invasion in her body that Tracy had never experienced, but she wanted more of it. She pressed her body upward into Jeffery’s hand and held him so tight he couldn’t think. Jeffery was losing control, and that was unusual for him. He broke the kiss, pulled his hand away, and whispered, “Please stop,” as Tracy continued to move under his hand. He was trying hard to get control of the situation, but Tracy did not want to stop. She didn’t want him to stop and now she was truly confused as to what she had done wrong.
Jeffery lay there beside her, breathing hard, not moving a muscle. “I am sorry,” she said breathlessly almost in tears. “I don’t know what to do, now.”
Jeffery shook his head. “Shh,” he said as he turned his head and kissed her cheek. “It’s not you. I shouldn’t have,” and he stopped mid-sentence as it began to dawn on him. He moved his hand out of her panties, and then rested his hand on her stomach. Disappointed, Tracy dropped her hand to the bed. He sat up on his elbow, holding his head up with his hand, and looked down at her. She was lying there with her eyes closed. Tracy knew something was about to happen, she was so close. She had no idea what, but she longed to find out. Jeffery smiled. “Look at me, Tracy.”
She hesitantly opened her eyes and he saw the uncertainty in them. He could not believe what he was experiencing. She immediately looked down, feeling a little ashamed of her actions, when he put a finger under her chin and forced her to look at him. “You’ve never made love before, have you?”
She looked back down, bit her lip and exhaled. “No,” she said as a tear escaped her eye.
He kissed the tear away and smiled. She gave a fake laugh to hide her nervousness. “That’s funny, right. I’ve lived a quarter of a century and never had sex. Just what you needed.” She looked down and continued to bite her lip.
Still trying to rein himself in, he asked, “Why would that upset you?”
“Here I am trying to get you to stop looking at me like I am still the 19 year old you met years ago and I really am still a little girl.”
He looked down at her body and laughed. She looked up at him as if he was losing his mind. She tried to get up, but he pressed down on her stomach with his hand, stopping her. “I’m not laughing at you. Well, yes, I am, but not for what you think. Squirt, you may be a lot of things,” he said, looking down her body again, “but you are definitely not a little girl.”
More in control now, he kissed her again. In that moment he knew he could never let her go. He stopped the kiss, but allowed his lips to remain on hers and whispered, “Don’t ever talk about leaving me, Tracy. Not having you in my life would hurt me more than I could ever explain right now. My career is what it is: just what I do. You,” he said, smiling at her, “are my life, my future. None of it matters without you.”
Tracy still couldn’t look at him. “You don’t have this problem with Carolyn Roth, do you?”
Jeffery laughed deep and hard. “Hell, no,” he said, still laughing. Seeing her reaction, he said, “I’m sorry.” He cleared his throat and changed to a serious tone. “You’re being serious, aren’t you?”
“Yes,” she said and hit him in the chest, but left her hand there to travel down to his abs.
He closed his eyes at her touch as she explored and prayed for control. “Jeffery,” she said shyly, “could you make me feel like that again?”
He opened his eyes to see her innocently looking up at him. When he asked God for this woman, he had no idea how precise he would be. He said a private Thank you and please forgive me, Lord, for he certainly was not going to deny Tracy the pleasure she was seeking.
“Yes, I can.” He smiled and began passionately kissing her.
He placed a trail of kisses from her neck down to her stomach, then pulled her sweats and panties off in one smooth move. As he examined her body with his eyes, he knew he had to pace himself, but he had no idea how he would be able to do that looking at her. “Jeffrey,” she called out nervously to him.
He heard her voice shake, so he kissed her forehead. “Do you trust me, Tracy?”
She thought about that for a minute. “I’m lying here with no
underwear on; I better trust you.”
He laughed at her as she smiled back at him. There was no denying it, he loved her, he thought. He stood and closed the bedroom door, took off his sweats and went back to the bed beside her.
Tracy gasped and thought, He is a good-looking man, especially with his clothes off.
Kissing the base of her throat he ran his hands down her body as if he was trying to memorize every inch. She placed the palm of her hand on the side of his face. He turned and kissed the inside of her hand then began to kiss her lips as he moved her hand down to his manhood. Her eyes opened with a surprised look. He smiled, and then guided her hand around him as he continued to kiss her. Jeffery knew instantly that was a bad move. He moaned and then slowed his actions as he realized he was losing control at her touch. He ran his hand down the same path as before until he reached the warmth between her legs. His fingers slipped easily into her moistness. Just the feel of her was stripping his control. He’d never had a problem with control before, why now? He moved down her body strategically placing kisses. She was moving to the rhythm of his fingers inside of her as he kissed her inner thighs. The kiss sent an instant sensation through her body. She was responding to every touch from his hands and his tongue.
Tracy didn’t know exactly what was happening to her, but whatever it was, she didn’t want it to stop. Jeffery gently parted her legs and began to softly kiss the very center of her. Knowing he had to brace her for his next endeavor, he placed his hand on her stomach. Her sweetness was undeniable and he indulged in the untouched treasure that was now his. Her body immediately jerked, as he knew it would. She reached out and took his hand, as he, concentrated on pleasing her; nothing else mattered. She moved her hips downward to take everything he had to offer and he increased the movement until he could feel she was losing control. Tracy cried out in pleasure. It felt like a tidal wave had just hit inside her body. Jeffery held still until the very moment he felt her climax.
He reached up, and entwined his fingers with hers. She grabbed his other hand and held on for dear life. He felt her body jerking and immediately laid back on top of her and held her. Her breathing was so labored he began to gently kiss her. He rolled over and pulled her to him; he held her until her trembling began to subside.
“That’s just the beginning, isn’t it?” Tracy asked breathlessly.
Jeffery pulled his head back so he could see her face. She looked up at him. “Oh yeah, there’s a lot more to come,” he grinned.
She smiled. “Okay,” she said in a very sweet, sexy voice.
Jeffery rolled back on top of her as he raised her arms above her head. He looked into her eyes. “Tracy, there is no turning back now. It’s you and me; no one else from this moment on.” He kissed her lightly on the lips. “Just you.” He spread her legs with his thigh. “Just me,” he said again while kissing her.
Tracy could hear Jeffery talking to her, but she was getting lost in the kiss, and at this point she would agree to anything he said as long as he continued to make her body feel alive. He positioned himself to enter her, temporarily breaking the kiss. Breathing just as heavily as she was, he looked down at her. “Tracy, this is going to be uncomfortable for a minute, I’m sorry. But I promise it will only hurt for a minute, okay?” he whispered.
“Okay,” she whispered as she blinked.
Jeffery smiled. He loved to hear that from her. He slowly entered her and tried to go slow, but she was moving with his every motion and he was about to lose control. Tracy felt him enter her and she knew instantly this was the answer to her curiosity. She began to embrace what was giving her so much pleasure.
Jeffery increased his rhythm to keep up with Tracy’s body movements. When he reached her blockage, he began to kiss her deeply. He entwined his tongue with hers. He couldn’t hold back any longer, he held her tight and pushed through, then paused. He heard the cry rise in her throat and proceeded to kiss her passionately to take away the discomfort. Tracy squeezed his fingers as her body tensed under him. His body was protesting but he held back. He wanted Tracy to enjoy this moment and remember it with a smile. He continued to kiss her through the hurt, and when she returned the kiss he began moving slowly within her until he felt her responding to him.
Once he felt her body relaxing and moving in rhythm with his, he went deeper and deeper into her. She pushed her hips upward and he followed her rhythm. They were simultaneously losing control. He released her hand, reached under her body and pulled her closer to him. She wrapped her arms around his back and held on tight. They were both moving feverishly to reach their climax. As he pushed deeper and deeper, Tracy held him close. She wanted more of him, all of him, and he conceded, giving all he had. The explosion that followed left them both clinging to each other, sweating and breathing heavily, neither of them wanting to let go. The two bodies seemed to have merged with each other, creating one.
When he was able to move, Jeffery held Tracy’s face in his hands and kissed every inch. She began to giggle, and then started laughing, and so did he. His chest was vibrating from the laughter. They lay there laughing and holding each other for a few minutes. He looked down at her and could see the laughter in her eyes. “You’re laughing now,” he chuckled, “but you’re going to be pissed at me tomorrow.”
“No, I won’t,” she smiled.
“Yes, you will,” he replied. “You’ll see.” Rubbing her forehead gently with his thumb, he added, “But it’ll go away in a day or so.”
“What will go away?”
“The soreness.” Jeffery sighed heavily as Tracy looked up at him with those eyes that seemed to look straight to his soul. He kissed her and said, “I love you, Tracy Washington, don’t you ever doubt that.” He kissed her and they started all over again. They went on through the night until the wee hours of the morning, when they fell asleep in each other’s arms.
Jeffery woke the next morning with Tracy asleep in his arms. Lord, thank you for all you have bestowed on me. But if her body responds to me like this with no knowledge, what is she going to be like when I’ve finished teaching her? Jeffery thanked God for answering his prayer and asked for guidance to make her happy for the rest of her life.
He watched Tracy sleep and thought of the barriers he let fall last night. He did not use protection. That was irresponsible on his part. Jeffery had never had sex without protection; he just didn’t do it. With Tracy, it never entered his mind, but it should have. A few issues could arise from that. AIDS—it was important for both of them to be tested. Jeffery did not want to jeopardize her life or his. He knew he was clean and she hadn’t been with anyone; he smiled at that thought. Still, they both should be tested. Pregnancy. Wow, that’s a thought. For some reason it did not scare him the way it used to. He could see having babies with this woman.
Jeffery got up, went into the bathroom and started to run a warm bath for her. His thoughts went to what Calvin told him about making love to Jackie. He smiled. Damned if he wasn’t right. He had never made love the way he did last night with Tracy. He came out of the bathroom and looked at her. They were now one and he liked it that way. He began thinking about her statement to him about the propensity for violence. He smiled. Damned if she wasn’t right. He knew he would kill anyone who tried to take her from him. He had never experienced jealousy over a woman in his life. But now, he would take someone’s life to protect her. He knew it was selfish, but from this moment on he wanted to be her everything. He saw her stir in the other room.
“Good morning,” he said from the doorway.
Tracy looked over, saw him and smiled brightly. “Good morning.”
Jeffery walked over to the bed to kiss her.
She put the sheet over her mouth. “Yuck mouth.”
He pulled the sheet down, kissed her, tongue and all. “Now we both have yuck mouth.”
She laughed, moved her leg and moaned. “Ohh.” She rubbed her thigh.
“That’s just the beginning,” he laughed.
She b
lushed, and then laughed with him.
“Okay,” he said laughing with her, “you’re laughing now, but you won’t be laughing when you have to go to the bathroom. But I can’t help with that. However, I can help with the muscle soreness. Come on.”
He pulled the sheet away from her.
“Jeffery,” she screamed and pulled the sheet back, “I don’t have on any clothes.”
He looked at her and laughed in disbelief. “You don’t need any clothes on.”
A frown came on her face. “Jeffery!”
He just looked at her. “I saw every inch of you last night. No need in trying to hide it now.”
He pulled the sheet off, picked her up and carried her into the bathroom. He sat on the side of the tub. “Test the water. Make sure it’s not too hot.”
Tracy put her toe in. “No, it’s fine.”
He set her down in the tub, and went back into the bedroom.
Tracy sat there for a moment thinking, what in the hell did I do to make my legs so sore?
When JD came back into the bathroom, he saw the puzzled look on her face. “What’s wrong?”
She looked down, a little embarrassed by the thought of last night. “My legs hurt.”
He sighed; relieved that was all it was. “Oh that,” he said while pulling off his sweatpants.
She inhaled and covered her eyes. “Jeffrey, what are you doing?”
He climbed in the bathtub behind her. Tracy held her breath when she realized what he was doing. His private part rubbed against her as he was sitting in the tub. “Umm, you want to get that thing off my back?”
“Oh, it’s a thing this morning? Last night you couldn’t get enough.”
Stomping her foot in the water, she exclaimed, “Jeffrey!”
He pressed against her and kissed the back of her head. She blushed, as he settled her back against him. He took the sponge from her and started washing her and Tracy began to relax. He smiled. JD was glad she was becoming comfortable. “Now, about your legs. You have now experienced a real man between your legs.”