by Loree Lough
“Isn’t that what people call cars? And boats? Airplanes? I don’t know why, but—”
“You’d better hope it’s a he, because she’s will drive you crazy.”
Maybe he and his mom had exchanged words. It wouldn’t have been the first time. The woman had strong opinions and wasn’t afraid to voice them. Not even to Jase, who’d doted on her since his dad died, who’d literally saved her company from bankruptcy, and now ran it with such precision that Colette’s Crafts was one of the top twenty-five of its kind in the nation.
“I’ve been thinking of hot-fudge sundaes ever since we hung up.” She smiled, a little too wide and a little too long, but maybe, just maybe, it would coax him out of the doldrums.
One look at his serious expression told her she’d failed. No matter. He’d called her stubborn and single-minded. This seemed like the perfect time to prove him right.
“Are you ready?”
“I guess.”
She climbed in behind the wheel, and as he opened the passenger door, Lillie said, “You’ll probably need to slide the seat back.”
He got in, and as an afterthought, she said, “Would you rather drive?”
Jase shot her a you’re kidding look. “No way. It’s your car. And didn’t you say you didn’t even get to drive it home?”
“Right...”
“Then this is your first time behind the wheel?”
“Yes.”
“Then why would you give me the virgin drive?”
Because I’m crazy about you, and I hate seeing you so miserable.
Lillie shoved the key into the ignition and fired up the engine.
“Sounds good. And that’s good,” he said with an approving nod.
Lillie moved the shift lever to Drive. “Better buckle up, cowboy!”
“Cowboy? Me?”
That, at least, got a chuckle out of him.
“Of course you. Cowboys are big and strong. They defend the weak, and they’re honest and true. And that, Jase Yeager, describes you.”
She half expected him to tease her for the pathetic attempt at poetry. Instead, he fiddled with the radio buttons and turned up the volume on an old ’50s song.
As they made their way west, the crowded city streets gave way to heavy traffic, then to a two-lane country road.
She looked his way for a second. “Why? Have you heard something?” The question didn’t make any sense, even to her. How would Jase have heard something? He’d been to the child’s room at Hopkins once.
“Just wondering is all.”
“Well, let’s keep a good thought, shall we? I don’t think I could handle it if Sally had a setback. I know I’m not supposed to get close to the kids, but I can’t help it. That kid is amazing, and I adore her.”
“What’s the deal with her mom?”
“I don’t know much about her.”
Jase snorted.
“What. You know something I don’t?”
“Forget I said anything.” Then, “Told you I wouldn’t be good company.”
She almost replied “You weren’t kidding!” Instead, Lillie took advantage of the space alongside the road and pulled over.
“All right,” she said. “Talk to me. What’s going on?”
He didn’t answer right away. Instead, he stared out the window. Unbuckled his seat belt and got out of the car, leaving the door open. For a moment, he paced the roadside gravel. Then he got back in and, facing her, said, “Sally’s mother...you’re giving her way too much credit. She’s in Paris with some famous tenor.”
“Oh. My. Gosh. Where did you get all of that information?”
“Brant.”
“Brant.”
“Is there an echo in here? Yes, Brant. Ran into him at lunch today. The guy I was meeting with stepped away, and Sally’s dad sat down. We got to talking and, well, some stuff came out.”
“Stuff?” The way he’d said it told Lillie Jase wasn’t just referring to Sally’s mother. That could mean only one thing. “Stuff, like the guy who’s supposed to turn me into a megastar?” Lillie laughed. “What a joke.”
“What’s that mean? You aren’t interested?”
“I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t. But I can’t take him up on an offer like that.”
“Why not? God knows you’re talented enough. What if this meeting is your only chance to make your Nashville dream come true?”
If she quoted what he’d said, just last night, then would he understand?
“Everything I need is right here.”
“Then why keep it a big secret?”
Ah, she thought, so that was what had riled him.
“It just seemed silly, talking about a meeting I’m not going to take.”
A confused frown lined his brow. “I got the impression that he believes you’re thinking about it.”
“I should never have said that. I just wanted to end the whole conversation about...” Exasperated, she sighed. “I don’t even remember the producer’s name.”
“Rusty. Rusty McCoy.”
“So let me see if I have a handle on this. You’re mad at me because I didn’t tell you about Brant’s offer?”
“Well, when you put it that way, you make me sound like a petty control freak.”
Since her return to Baltimore, Lillie had been walking on eggshells around everyone. She’d cut them all a lot of slack for watching her every move, for questioning her whereabouts, for looking suspicious if she so much as winced because her leg hurt. And it was time for it to stop.
It didn’t escape her notice that he hadn’t said he wasn’t angry.
“Look,” she began, “I’m fully aware that writing that check doesn’t come close to repaying you for everything you’ve done for me. Those times I overdosed, before the big intervention? You saved my life! You think I don’t know that? I went to Rising Sun, where they browbeat me every day until I admitted I was an addict, until I started doing the hard work to turn my life around. But even before that—deep down inside—I knew what a mess I was. That’s why I ended our engagement. I couldn’t in good conscience drag you down with me. Because what if I went to rehab and failed to get clean? That would have been completely unfair to you! I guess you think the hardest thing I’ve ever done was giving up my precious drugs, don’t you?”
Jase’s eyes widened, and she read his silence as a resounding yes.
“Well, you’re wrong, buddy! Wrong. Even in my addled state I knew that I wasn’t good for you, that you deserved better than the likes of me. I’ll bet you also think I ended our engagement because you issued that...”
Lillie stopped herself from saying that sanctimonious ultimatum.
“Leaving you,” she said, “that was the hardest thing I’ve ever done.”
Jase, nodding slowly, stared at his hands, resting on his thighs.
“That said,” she continued, “you need to know that while I respect your opinion, I don’t need your permission or your approval. For anything. I’m like an ex-con. I served my time and paid for my crimes. And whether you agree or not, I deserve a second chance.”
Jase continued to sit, forefingers tapping his knees, eyes down.
“Now, I’m going to turn this engine back on and drive us to Ellicott City. We’ll order hot-fudge sundaes—because they’re your favorite—and afterward, we’ll drive straight back to the inn.”
Lillie leaned forward, forcing him to make eye contact.
“And if you aren’t out of this foul mood by the time we get there, I’m going to... I’ll... I don’t know what,” she said, thumping the dash, “but you won’t like it!”
Finally, he said, “You’re wasting gas.”
They rode in silence to the ice cream stand. She ordered their sundaes, and they found a picnic table and ate in silence, too. By the time they returned
to the inn, she’d had enough. Lillie hit the childproof door locks, effectively imprisoning him in the car.
“Let me tell you a thing or two, Jase Yeager. I think it’s terrible, the way you’re behaving. After last night...” She’d thought of little else but the warm, sweet way he’d held her, kissed her... “I guess you’re confused by what seemed to be happening between us, and that’s why you’re behaving like a rude, spoiled child. I guess I have it coming, but I don’t mind admitting, it isn’t easy putting up with all of this. Especially after—”
He reached for her hand, and she pulled it away.
He finally spoke. “Look, I’m sorry. It wasn’t fair, taking my bad day out on you. Not that this excuses my behavior, but...Mom made a lousy business decision, and I’ll have to eat crow and jump through hoops and who knows what else to straighten things out. Then I found out that after I’d spent a small fortune on a book for Dora, she sold it for next to nothing. And Whitney...”
At the mention of her name, he stopped talking so suddenly that it scared Lillie.
“What about her?”
The instant the sarcastic words were out, Lillie regretted them. Hiding behind one hand, she said, “Oh, good grief. Did that make me sound like a jealous shrew?”
He sent her a half-hearted grin. “Nah.”
“So what happened with Whitney?” Last night, Jase had told her about their rather sudden breakup, how she’d taken a job in California. Now, if he said she’d invited him to join her on the west coast, Lillie didn’t know what she might do. Or say.
“Nothing, really, except she’s just one more example of the women closest to me, making decisions about things that involve me without talking to me.”
Now Jase hid behind a hand. She saw one corner of his mouth lift in a small grin.
“Good grief. Did that make me sound like a whiny child?”
“Nah.”
Following a moment of tense silence, she said, “I guess after a day like that, I can cut you a little slack. But... I’d have to turn in my Girl Power card if I didn’t repeat that women no longer need to run every idea past a man. We vote now, and everything.”
“Touché,” he said. “And you know what?”
“I’m almost afraid to ask.”
“I barely tasted that sundae.”
“Me, too.”
He smiled. It was a relief, knowing they’d worked things out.
This time.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
JASE DIDN’T THINK he’d ever seen her that angry. Part of him had silently cheered as her eyes flashed. Good for you, Lill, he’d thought. Stick up for yourself! Lillie had been right when she’d said people still didn’t trust her. People, meaning him. And she’d been right to think her recent past motivated his suspicions.
He wanted to trust her. God knew he did! Still, he couldn’t help questioning Lillie’s claim that she was clean now. He’d heard it all from her before. Too many times. Like the night she’d swallowed a handful of pills, and slipped into near-unconsciousness, unable to utter an intelligent sentence, drooling, incapable of staying on her feet. While waiting for the paramedics to hook her up to an IV, he’d overheard one EMT—who’d transported her to the hospital several times before—tell his partner, “If this one was a cat, she’d only have a life or two left.” The day after, while signing her release papers, the doctor had taken Jase aside. “Next time,” he’d said, “she might not be so lucky.” Eight words that had shaken Jase to his core, awakening a keen awareness that because he couldn’t say no to her, he had unintentionally contributed to her condition. Guilt and fear merged, inspiring the toughest resolution of his life: he’d insist that Lillie get professional help, or else. The demand started the dominos toppling... First, her tears. Apologies and pleading. The return of his ring. The train to New York. And the last domino...Jase, burying the diamond in his sock drawer.
Anger-turned-self-pity pushed him through those first tormenting weeks, and by the time it dulled, he’d fully engulfed himself in running his mother’s company. He couldn’t hold Lillie accountable for his mother’s controlling behavior, for her unwillingness to respect his life choices.
Concentrate on the positives, he told himself. Life hadn’t been perfect, but he’d survived.
Until, on a whim, he’d gone to the inn, where one look at her freckled face, smudged and streaked by hard work, put him on the path that led to the unexpected meeting at the music store, which led to his invitation to join him for coffee and pie. It had been his idea to stop by the hospital, his idea to have dinner at the Waterfront afterward, and his decision to say yes when she asked him to join her in the gazebo...where those delicious, tantalizing kisses had left him feeling weak-kneed and longing for more. And despite all the reasons he should run in the opposite direction, Jase knew he was in too deep. What choice did he have but to believe that this time, she was telling the truth?
Lillie had changed a lot during her months in New York. She’d cut her hair—something she’d sworn she’d never do—and set her sights on repaying every debt, on saving enough money to survive on her own. Volunteer hours at Hopkins served as clear evidence that her “doing for others feels good” declaration had been genuine.
His dad had a long list of sayings that he could recite to fit just about any circumstance, such as “if something seems too good to be true, it probably is” and “good things come to those who wait.” What advice would he give if Jase recounted everything that had happened between him and Lillie?
He missed his dad every day, but oh, what he’d give to have a good heart-to-heart with the man at times like this.
Drew had always been levelheaded and honest with him...
He dialed his brother’s number.
“Yeager.”
Chuckling at the fact that his brother answered the phone the same way he did, Jase said, “What’s new, dude?”
In place of an answer, his older brother said, “So how are things between you and Lillie?”
“How about if I buy you a beer, and I’ll tell you all about it.”
“Uh-oh, that bad, is it?”
“No. Maybe.” Jase groaned under his breath. “I dunno. Are you free for lunch?”
“How ’bout noon, Sur les Quais. I haven’t seen Ian since the firm booked his banquet room for the holiday party last year. It’ll be good, seeing the guy.”
He wondered how much their old pal had changed since the night he’d gotten down on one knee and, oblivious to the curious stares of nearby diners, asked Maleah to marry him.
An hour later, Jase sat across from Drew and grinned. “What does Dora think of the new look?”
His brother scrubbed a hand over his goateed chin. “She’s not exactly wild about it. Yet. But it’ll grow on her.”
“Either that, or you’ll wake up with just enough of that scruffy ’stache missing that you’ll have to shave the rest of it off.”
The brothers laughed as a bow-tied waiter delivered lemon-sliced ice water and took their order.
“Where’s Ian?” Drew asked him.
“In the back. But please don’t ask me to disturb him,” the young man kidded. “He’s doing payroll!”
“Knowing Ian, there aren’t many zeroes on those checks,” Jase said, “so that shouldn’t take long. Give him ten minutes, then tell him that his ol’ buddies are here to collect on a whoppin’ fat loan.” Snickering, he added, “That’s a whoppin’ fat fib, but it’s guaranteed to get him out here!”
Once the waiter was out of earshot, Drew leaned both forearms on the table. “All right, let me have it. What’s going on with you and Lillie?”
Jase sat back, ran a hand through his hair, then recited the essentials, from the initial meeting outside the jewelry store, to her physical and emotional transformation, to the visit in her folks’ gazebo. He left out the I kissed her and I liked it
part.
“Sounds like she pulled herself together. She paid us what she owed, plus interest, months ago. From what I hear, she paid back all the guys in your band, too.”
“Yeah...”
“Hey, nobody can blame you for keeping your guard up. She put you through hell. You’d be crazy if you weren’t a little edgy.”
Nodding, Jase sipped his water.
“Here’s a dumb question for ya, bro. Do you want to pick up where you left off with her?”
More than anything, Jase thought. But he said, “I’m not sure.”
“What’s the main bone of contention? She still owes you money?”
Jase paused as the waiter delivered their meals.
“No, she paid back every cent, with interest.” He pictured the plaque she’d made him. The sentiment sure seemed sincere. So far.
“How long has she been back now? Three months?”
“She got home the week of Mother’s Day.” Easy to remember, since he’d avoided talking marriage with Whitney, even as Lillie and her dad talked about gifts for Amelia.
“Sounds to me like you two need a good old-fashioned sit-down. Lay your cards on the table, as Dad used to say, and hope that when the game’s over, you’re both holding a winning hand.”
That’s just it, Jase thought. This wasn’t a game. He winced, recalling her recent outburst.
“Afraid she might go back to her old ways, huh? Well, like I said, who wouldn’t under the circumstances?”
“I guess.”
“Sit her down. Get specific. Talk until she convinces you that won’t happen.”
He didn’t feel like repeating the many times and ways she’d delivered the “drugs are in the past” speech, because Drew had been the go-to guy when Jase needed help picking up the pieces.
“I hate to sound like a cynic, but when all’s said and done, there are no guarantees. You’re gonna have to trust your gut.”
“I guess,” Jase repeated.
Ian pulled out a chair and joined them. “Well as I live and breathe, if it isn’t the Yeager brothers.”
The men exchanged handshakes and “what’s new” conversation.