by Loree Lough
He owned an RV, Rusty told them, large enough for a five-man band, equipment, costumes and some rudimentary backdrops. “Won’t need fireworks and big screens. She’s exactly what I’ve been looking for, and I have a feeling fans will see her as I do—a powerhouse. At least, that’s the hope, right?”
She heard him, loud and clear.
“So if the audience doesn’t react well to me, the guys, the setup crew, RV driver...we’ll all be out of work.”
Rusty shrugged. “Pretty much, yeah.” He smirked. “Think you can handle that?”
She looked at Gene, then Hank. It wouldn’t have been a question if she could work with the Muzikalees. But the guys were married, with kids and full-time jobs. She couldn’t ask them to risk it all on a maybe.
“Are you on board?” she asked the guys.
They looked at each other and, grinning, Gene said, “You bet.”
“Where will you be? While we’re motoring from town to town in your RV, I mean?” she asked Rusty.
“At the office, where I belong, talking to club owners and bar managers and trying to convince them you’re worth the pay.” He arched a brow. “Where did you think I’d be?”
“Well, it’s your vehicle, so...”
“It’s obvious you don’t know this guy very well,” Brant said, grinning. “He owns the rig but hasn’t driven it.”
“Yet,” Rusty said. He took his time, studying her from head to toe, then turned to Brant. “Got those papers? And a pen?”
Brant opened his briefcase and withdrew four documents, each affixed to the traditional blue file jacket. “You might want to meet the drummer and the bassist,” he told Lillie, “make sure their sound is—”
“I’m sure they’re good at what they do. What we need, before any of us signs anything, is a name.” She met each man’s eyes. “Try this on for size—Turret.” She waited as they silently repeated it. “It means tower. The first turrets were attached to castles and provided cover for medieval soldiers. It’s also what they call the rotating thing on top of military tanks, so it symbolizes strength and power.”
The guys exchanged amused glances.
“Sounds like you’ve given it a lot of thought,” Gene said.
“Yeah,” Brant said, “how long have you been planning this?”
Since the day Jase walked out of here and left for Florida without even looking back.
“Well? What do you think?”
Rusty said, “I like it. Especially the strong and powerful stuff. Guys? What say you?”
Murmured agreement moved around the space.
“And what about the whole ‘everything rests on my ability to wow audiences’ deal?” she asked. “What do you think of that?”
“Dunno about Gene,” Hank began, “but I’ve been around long enough to recognize a good sound when I hear it. I’m all in.”
“Ditto,” Gene said.
Rusty passed out the contracts. “These are preliminary. Just something to show that we’re all on the same page, literally and figuratively. When you meet drummer and the guy who plays bass, I’ll issue new ones, with dates, your names typed in, and...”
She didn’t hear what he said next, because fear had wrapped around her brain like a big cold fist, blocking out everything else. She’d been only too eager to tell anyone who’d listen all about the new Lillie. Suddenly, facing this sink-or-swim scenario made her wonder if she’d been fooling herself. Was she strong enough to shoulder this much responsibility?
“Lillie...?”
The sound of her name snapped her to attention. “Sorry...what?”
Brant sat beside her and calmly explained, “We were discussing whether to go the jeans and T-shirts route, or take a step back in history and wear suits and ties.”
“You mean like ’50s bands?”
“Exactly.”
Lillie didn’t like the idea, but because she hadn’t had time to come up with logical reasons why, she said, “This is all happening a bit fast. I need a few days to mull it over. Last thing I want to do is rush into a commitment, only to let all of you down.”
The way she’d let down her family, her friends and Jase.
Rusty handed the pen back to Brant. Returned the contracts, too.
“How about a trial run, then, right here in Baltimore? Brant can set up a few shows, give y’all a chance to get used to working together.”
“Does anyone mind if I take a couple of days, a week maybe, to think about it?”
Rusty glared at Brant. “Thought you said she was unattached.”
“She is, far as I know.”
“Brant is right. I am unattached.” Lifting her chin, Lillie added, “I don’t need to get permission from anyone.” Although she wondered what sort of advice Jase might offer...if she told him about the deal.
“I’m okay waiting,” Hank said.
Gene nodded. “Ditto.”
“Then it’s settled,” Brant said. “We’ll table the discussion for now. What say we meet again in a week. Same time. Same place.”
The men shook hands with her, said their goodbyes and piled back into the big silver van.
She should have been honest with them. Jase had already taken care of that...his lack of communication making it known he didn’t see a future for them.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
“SERIOUSLY, DUDE? YOU two haven’t talked in how long?”
“Going on two months now,” Jase said.
“I thought you guys were doing well.”
He frowned at his brother. “You didn’t get that from anything I said.”
“More like what you implied.”
“What, by not relating a blow-by-blow description of a big argument?”
Drew didn’t speak for several seconds. “Sorry, bro, didn’t realize there you and Lillie had a big argument.”
“We didn’t, exactly.” Lillie had gotten a lot off her chest, and like an idiot, he’d left in a huff without letting her know how he felt. He’d dwelt on it all through Florida, during three weeks’ worth of meals consumed alone, time spent waiting for business appointments, and those long, lonely hours while sleep eluded him. His only consolations were the signed documents that assured swift turnaround for every product ordered. It made doing business on his mother’s behalf better. He loved the work, even the on-air stuff, and as long as the company flourished, he had no intention of changing career tracks.
“So?”
Jase had been so lost in his thoughts that he’d missed some of the conversation.
“What’re you gonna do about it?” Drew asked.
“What’s to do? She’s on the road somewhere, livin’ her dream, and I’m here...” Wishing she wasn’t.
He knew that was selfish. She’d always wanted to make a name for herself in the music industry. It just seemed a shame that, because of his doubts, Lillie was out there, reaching for her star...while he had zip.
“Dude, it’s never too late.”
“I appreciate your concern, but—”
“It’s that thing Ian said, isn’t it? That’s why you’re dragging your feet.”
Jase didn’t want to hear his brother recite “that thing.” He’d been hearing it in his head for weeks now: What’s in it for Lillie? He didn’t like admitting that so far, he hadn’t come up with a single thing.
“The longer you wait to talk to her, the harder it’ll be.”
Yeah, he’d considered that, too. “I don’t even know where she is.”
“Knock it off. You can find out, if you want to. Who’s that guy again? The one who put her in touch with the producer?”
“Brant Perry.”
“Right. Him. Pick up the phone. Ask how he gets in touch with her.” Drew paused. “What’ve you got to lose?”
Everything, Jase admitted. If he neve
r called, he’d never have to deal with the possibility that she might say “too little, too late.”
“Hang up. Call the guy, right now.”
Jase heard Dora in the background, asking if Drew was ready to help with dinner.
“Let me know what he says.”
The brothers agreed to talk later, and Jase decided not to waste another minute.
“She’s in New York,” Brant said after a few formalities, “performing at the Harmony Factory.”
“Alone?”
“No way I’d let Rusty send her on tour without backup. She nearly called the whole deal off. Only thing that saved our bacon was that big heart of hers, worrying what would become of the guys if she backed out.”
Even though he knew she wanted to perform, Jase was having a hard time believing she’d signed a contract, let alone agreed to go back on the road. She’d hated everything about that lifestyle.
“Have you seen her lately?”
“A couple weeks ago.” Brant paused. “Last time I checked in with her, she asked about you. No idea where she got the crazy idea that I’d know anything, but there you have it.” After a moment, Brant asked, “You two were more than just friends, eh?”
“We...we go way back,” Jase said. What did the guy expect? That he’d blurt “We’d be married now, if she hadn’t become an addict”?
“Where’s she going after New York?”
“Home. But not for...”
Jase heard the sounds of turning pages. So he wasn’t the only one who still relied on paper calendars.
“...not for a week and a half. She’s scheduled to meet with Rusty in Nashville, talk about signing a contract.”
“Wait. What? She went on the road without one?”
“Not exactly. Rusty got her to agree to a trial run, and she signed a three-month deal.”
“What’s your take on things? I mean, do you think the group will stay together?”
“You know her better than I do...”
In other words, he had a fifty-fifty shot at making things right.
“Where’s she staying, in case I want to surprise her with a visit?”
“Rusty’s RV is parked behind the club.”
Mighty close quarters in one of those rigs...
Jealousy was an emotion he couldn’t afford to give in to right now.
Jase cleared his throat. “If you talk to her in the next couple of days, don’t tell her we spoke, okay?”
With the difficult conversation behind him, Jase started practicing what he’d say when he got hold of her on the phone...
“Hey, Lill. It’s me. Jase. It’s Wednesday. Six fifteen. In the evening. Sorry I haven’t called before now. It’s been crazy around here. I’ve barely had a minute to myself.”
If that sounded lame to him, how would it sound to her? He started over.
He cleared his throat and dialed her number.
“Just calling to say I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have waited so long to get in touch. But what can you expect from an arrogant, self-centered, thinks-only-of-myself judgmental boob. I’ve had a lot of time to think, and if you’ll let me, I’ll repeat every word in person.”
He’d never made a call like this before, and had no idea how to wrap things up.
“I hope your leg isn’t giving you fits. Call me when you get a minute.”
Jase hit End and hoped Drew had been right, that it wasn’t too late.
It was time to come up with an answer to Ian’s question. He’d lead with that...if she agreed to see him.
Jase pocketed his cell phone and passed a mirror on the way back to the set. He looked tired and agitated. And why wouldn’t he, when Lillie had dominated his thoughts—night and day—for weeks?
What’s in it for Lillie?
Answer: a guy who’s so stuck in the past that he can’t focus on the present or the future...walking, talking proof that she deserved better.
But things didn’t have to stay this way. She’d changed. A lot.
And so could he.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
AS SHE DRESSED for Friday’s show, Lillie’s phone beeped, letting her know it was fully charged. She still had a phone message. From Jase. The one she’d listened to a dozen times since receiving it.
She didn’t know which surprised her more, that he’d called, or that he’d been so self-deprecating.
Her reasons for not returning his call had been solid: before making any decisions about him—about them—Lillie needed to figure out how to tell Brant and Rusty that she couldn’t sign a long-term contract. And she had to tell the guys.
Touring had been exhilarating, and filled her with a sense of purpose and pride. But it hadn’t been a good fit. Spending time in the studio, reacting to applause, being greeted by an adoring public that held napkins and envelopes and CD covers in the hope of an autograph had been fun. But it hadn’t made her happy. Something was missing. Something big.
She counted her blessings: the operation had been successful, and soon all traces of the limp would vanish, this time, for good. Every debt was paid, and despite temptation on the road, she’d remained drug-free. There was a ready-made job and a home to return to, thanks to the secret her dad revealed during their last conversation: her mom wouldn’t agree to a six-month world cruise to celebrate their fortieth anniversary until they found someone reliable to run the inn while they were gone. It seemed the most natural thing in the world, volunteering to take over. With all that going for her, she ought to feel content.
The missing puzzle piece had a name, she realized after hearing that message.
Jase.
For his sake and hers, Lillie needed to put things right, and that meant a call to Brant.
“At the risk of earning a reputation for being ungrateful,” she began, “I wanted you to be the first to know, it isn’t working out.”
“I had a feeling you’d say that,” Brant said.
“It was that obvious?”
“You have everything it takes to go to the top, except one thing.”
She knew what it was: desire. Lillie no longer saw music as the road to her dream come true.
“Some folks take to the road like birds take to the air. Without that, you’d starve out there. I’ve seen it before, so I know what it looks like.”
“No wonder you’re such a great dad to Sally. Not many people in your position would be as understanding.”
“In my position?”
“You put your reputation on the line for me. And unless I’m mistaken, made a monetary investment, too. I can only guess the amount, but if you’ll send me the numbers, we can work out a repayment plan.”
“That’s crazy talk. This is all part and parcel of the industry, and why I pay exorbitant rates for business insurance.”
“But Brant...”
“But nothing. The only thing you owe me is to stay in touch with Sally and me. Well, there’s one other thing. Reconnect with that boyfriend of yours. Get married. Buy a little house, have a couple of kids and spend the rest of your lives making beautiful music together.”
He’d just described her new dream. “You’ve been a good friend, Brant. I don’t know what to say.”
“Say that you’ll let Sally babysit those kids.”
“I’d love that.”
“Can I ask you something?”
“Of course.”
“Have you talked to Rusty about this yet?”
Lillie winced. “No. I’m afraid I practiced the speech on you.”
“Piece of advice? Just blurt it out. He’ll try to interrupt, to make you change your mind. Don’t let him. Just keep talking, louder if you need to, until he’s heard you out. If he still insists on giving you a hard time, tell him to take it up with me. Then say thank you...and hang up.”
She
saw no reason to put off the inevitable, so after a heartfelt thank-you, she hung up and immediately dialed Rusty’s number.
“Let me get this straight,” he said when she finished her speech, “you’re throwing your whole future away for some guy, when they’re all a dime a dozen? Big mistake, Lillie-girl. Big mistake.”
“My vision of the future is different from yours. That doesn’t mean it’s a mistake.”
“Well, as they say, it’s your life.”
Yes, and if she didn’t waste too much more time, Jase would be a major part of it.
“Thank you, for everything. The band, the bookings, the use of the RV... You’ve been more than generous. I’ll never forget what you’ve done for me.”
“We could’ve gone big places, kid. Country Music Award big. But like I said, it’s your life. If you change your mind, you know where to find me.”
Her mind was made up, but Lillie repeated, “Thank you, Rusty.”
Now, there was nothing to do but check with Dora about Jase’s schedule and buy a ticket to Miami. If things worked out as she hoped, Lillie would be waiting for him in the studio lobby.
What happened after that was up to him.
And fate.
* * *
JASE HAD JUST rinsed the last of the thick stage makeup from his face when he heard a knock at his dressing room door.
“It’s open...”
“Got a minute?” the producer asked.
Voice muffled by the towel, he said, “Sure, Phil. What’s up?”
“Got a favor to ask you. Big one, considering how long you’ve been down here this time.”
Tossing the towel aside, Jase sat on the edge of the vanity and waited to hear just how big this favor might be.
“There’s a four-hour gap between the vitamin guy and the makeup show tomorrow. I’m hoping you can hang around to fill it.”
Jase had booked the first flight to Kennedy, intent on catching Lillie before she walked onstage in New York.