“Thank you. Have a message sent to Lord Meki, please, to say I’ll be up there...uh, at some point,” he finished rather lamely. For some reason he had a feeling Kei might not be satisfied with a brief welcome.
The clerk seemed to think so too, judging by her grin. “Of course, my lord.”
He strode through the corridors, barely remembering to be polite and acknowledge the bows and murmured welcomes of the people who passed him. He flung open the door of his office, and found Kei sitting in his chair. “Oh, you’re back,” Kei said casually. “So soon? I hardly noticed you’d been gone.”
“You....” He stalked over to the desk and hauled Kei up, hugging him fiercely. “Oh gods, I missed you. I never want to do that again. Never.” He attacked Kei’s wanton mouth, quite unable to restrain his hunger for the taste and feel of him, his desperate need to touch his lover.
“Then pissing don’t,” Kei said as soon as Arman let freed his lips for a second. “Please don’t, I don’t think I could stand this again.”
They held each other for quite some time. Kei was shaking, and not just with relief. “I’m so sorry,” he murmured. “If I’d known it would be three months instead of two....”
“I don’t care if it was two weeks—please don’t go away again.”
“No. I won’t. I don’t care how important it is. If you can’t come with me, I won’t go. I promise.”
“I’ll damn well hold you to that, you bastard,” Kei said, kissing him again. “And you need a shave.”
“I need a shave, a bath, a hot meal, and a long, long evening making love to you. You better not have plans for at least a week,” he growled.
“None,” Kei said, grinning. “Only—”
“Only? Kei, you better not have invited people over, because the invitations are cancelled by decree of Lord Arman, Ruler of Darshek.”
“Of course, your lordship, anything you say, your lordship. No, silly—Karik’s staying with us and I’m due to go to the prison island again tomorrow. But that’s only the one night.”
Arman pulled back and Kei took the opportunity to sit on the edge of the desk, still keeping a proprietary hold around his waist. “Karik? I thought he wasn’t going to stay after all.”
“He changed his mind when he got up here. I convinced him to, so don’t get cranky.”
“I’m not cranky, just surprised,” he said stiffly. The last thing he felt like doing this evening was having a discussion with the boy.
“You are cranky, don’t lie to me, you nitwit. It’s all right—he knows we’ll want some privacy.”
“You bet I want some damn privacy. I’ve had precious little of that, I can tell you, and that damn Jiv...good gods, he snores like a beast with lung fever.”
Kei grinned, and finally his expression lost all the strain that had lain behind it. “So you only love me because I don’t snore?”
“Indeed, what other possible reason could I have?” He kissed Kei again and held him for a moment longer. “I have to see Meki, but I know he’ll understand. I can give him my report tomorrow.”
“Yes, go off and see him, I know he’ll be glad of that. I was worried you’d be delayed and I wouldn’t be here myself.”
“If willpower could have made the ship go faster, I’d have been back a week ago, I assure you. I take it the boy has been behaving himself?”
“The boy is Karik and yes, he has.” Kei poked him on the nose. “You are to be nice to him. You said you would.”
“Yes, Master Kei,” Arman said meekly. He was definitely not going to argue about pissing Karik on his first night home. “Give me a few minutes and we can take a carriage home.”
“No need—we can stay here tonight, I’ve arranged it all. Go see him and I’ll be upstairs. Heating the bath, of course.” Kei gave him a look which assured him the bath wasn’t all that would be heating up. “Take your time,” he added sweetly.
~~~~~~~~
Arman hoped Lord Meki hadn’t found his undue haste rude, but somehow, he felt the elderly Ruler understood the need. Certainly the reward he got for returning smartly to his chambers made it worth any amount of possible offence he might have caused.
Afterwards, lying sated and tired in Kei’s arms, he gently stroked up and down the smooth skin of Kei’s chest. “Was it very lonely?”
Kei heaved a sigh. “It could have been worse. Once Reji came up, it was better—oh, and I didn’t tell you, Jena came with them.”
“Jena? Good gods, why did she do that?”
“She claimed someone needed to make sure I was behaving.” Arman chuckled—it sounded like something she would say. “But the real reason was Karik. Not so much for him—for her. She’s been hit very hard by this. I think she’s more traumatised than he is, because of the war....” Kei shifted so Arman could look into his eyes. “The war was the only wanton violence any of us had seen. But this attack...and for it to be by our own people...Jena isn’t dealing with it at all.”
“I wonder she let Karik stay.”
“I think left to her, she wouldn’t have been able to. But Reji convinced her it was best for him, and I believe it is. I wished she could have stayed longer. I miss her.”
Arman took Kei’s hand in his. “She’s been as much as a sister as Myka, it’s true.”
“More like a twin soul. The blood relationship is unimportant.”
For Kei, this was literally true. He’d built his family by hand, weaving in his real blood relatives and his adopted ones until the seams no longer showed. Former lovers and present, friends—and protégés. “How is Karik getting on? How long is he staying?”
“Well, that was subtle,” Kei said with a grin. “Karik is getting on very well—oh, and that’s the other big news. Seiki’s mother cured her of stuttering, and with Mistress Titira’s help, Seiki is working the same miracle on Karik.”
“Really? How is it that you’re only finding out about this now?’
He was surprised to see Kei’s handsome face twist into a fierce scowl. “Because a certain pretty little healer with a grudge against Jena, you, me and Reji, knew perfectly well what Seiki’s mother had done and ‘forgot’ to pass on the information. Strange that, considering there had been several official requests from the Master of Healers that any information at all about stammerers in their villages be passed on to him.”
Arman tried to recall where Seiki was from. “Ah. Maya?” He couldn’t recall the name of the woman, though the quarrel was stamped very firmly in his mind.
“Mara. Pissing Mara. As if Jena did anything to her, or if it’s Karik’s fault Aldik’s a dithering fool. I ask you—how petty is it to punish an innocent child because of your dislike of the parents? “
Arman felt a twinge of guilt, as he recalled he had done something not so very different in his own way—at least, he had rejected the infant Karik for that reason. “I take it she’s been apprised of your displeasure.”
“You bet she has. Not just mine—I got Lord Meki to send a stinging rebuke for being so neglectful of her duty.”
“Ouch.” Lord Meki’s rebukes were more painful than a public flogging, and quite as humiliating. “Still, now we know—has he lost the stammer completely?”
“No, not entirely. It will take a while, Titira says. She says being the age he is, he’s had a long time for the habit to become ingrained. But he’s more confident when he speaks—he’s more confident anyway. He’s blooming nicely. You’ll hardly recognise him, I swear.”
“Well, we’ll see. I’m glad you’ve had his company. I owe him a debt of gratitude for that, at the very least.”
Kei sighed again. “You’re so stiff and formal about the boy. He’s just Reji and Jena’s son. Forget the rest of it. What possible harm can he do you?”
“It hardly matters, since he’s already managed to do quite enough.”
Suddenly, Kei sat up and looked down at him, his dark eyes showing a flash of anger. “Do you blame him for Urso’s death, still? Here I was telling him you
didn’t—are you making me a liar?”
“Peace, Kei. Calm down. No, I don’t—I was thinking of Father, really.”
But Kei wasn’t the least appeased. “And how is Karik responsible for that? You may as well blame me for being taken a hostage! How can you be so unfair?”
Wearily, Arman pushed himself up to a sitting position too. “I merely meant the boy was the cause of harm—I never said he intended it.”
“You may as well have done,” Kei snapped. “The poor lad has been worried sick about you coming back, and I’ve been telling him what a decent, reasonable person you are. Are you to prove yourself anything but?”
“Are we going to argue about him all night? I just got back.”
“I’m aware of that, thank you. I’ve had three months to wish for it. But if I’d known you were going to bring this childish grudge back with you, I might not have been so eager.”
“You rate that boy higher than me, by the sound of it.”
“You....” Kei pressed his lips together angrily, and climbed off the bed. “Just...grow up. Karik can’t help who his mother is, and if your father wants to throw money he doesn’t want and doesn’t need away for his own reasons, how is that Karik’s fault?”
“How do you know he doesn’t need it? You think it’s better in Mekus’s hands than in my nephew’s, or my niece’s? Can’t you imagine what perverted use he’ll put that money to? Money my father worked hard for?”
“You make it sound like he dug it out of the rocks with his bare hands. There’s not a nobleman in Kuprij who works as hard as the least of our farmers.”
Despite himself, Arman felt his temper rising. “So that makes it all right, does it? My father’s sacrifice is only worth throwing back in my face and his?”
“If you’re going to be petty, why shouldn’t I be? You rate the money more than the boy. I thought you were better than that.”
“I don’t...why are you getting so upset about this?”
“Because I’ve spent weeks with Karik, encouraging him, watching him get over a vicious attack and years of prejudice, and here you are, trying to drag him back into the mud!”
Kei stalked out into the other room. Arman rubbed his forehead—how in hells had this argument erupted so fast, and over something so stupid? He got up and went out to the main room. Kei was getting dressed in sharp, jerky movements. “For the gods’ sake. Please, you don’t need to go. I’m sorry.”
“You’re not. We’ve had this discussion before, and I thought you’d accepted Karik wasn’t responsible for what happened in Utuk, but you’re still holding onto that resentment.”
“And of course, us having an argument about it is really going to make me feel kindly towards him.”
Kei jabbed a finger towards him. “You need to think about why he upsets you so much. I give up. I’ve tried and tried to talk to you about this, and you won’t see how irrational you are. Now, I’m going home. You think about it, and we’ll speak when I get back from the island. I suggest you go home tomorrow night, and talk to the boy. If you don’t...well, then....”
“Are you threatening to leave me? Over him?”
“Not leave you. But...Arman, I won’t live with a coward. Sort it out, then come back to me.”
“You’re being completely unreasonable. Stay and talk about it. Please.”
For a moment, he thought his lover would change his mind, but then his expression hardened. “No. You won’t take this seriously unless I go. Karik is my family. Like Jena, like Reji, like Myka. You get over this animosity. It’s based on nothing but blind prejudice and I’m sick of it. I’ve been sick of it since the Prij first came into my life.”
“If that’s how you feel about meeting me, then perhaps you’d really better go.”
Kei grabbed his boots. “You know where I’ll be. You know what I want.” He walked towards the door.
“Kei, please, I love you.”
Kei froze but didn’t look at him. “And I love you. More than life,” he said in a low voice. “Please, do this for me.”
“Shall I come back with you now?”
Kei turned. “Will you be fair to him? Speak to him as an adult?”
“If that’s what you want, of course.”
Kei shook his head. “No. You have to do it because it’s the right thing to do. Because he deserves it. I’ll...I’ll see you the day after tomorrow.”
“Kei—”
But he’d already slipped out of the room. Arman was naked. He couldn’t run after him, and Kei would just turn him down anyway. He went back into the bedroom and found his robe, pulled it on, then slumped into a chair. What in hells had gone wrong? After three months apart, he was spending yet another night away from the man he loved, the man who had been so incredibly miserable without him, and all over that damn brat?
He put his head in his hands. Very little got Kei angry, but injustice and unfairness was one sure way to achieve it.
So. Kei thought he’d been unjust and unfair, just because he’d pointed out that Karik had been the cause of real harm—but damn it, that much was true! Not deliberately, but.... And why was Kei dismissing Arman’s family that way? Did he think that only his family mattered?
He should go back to their house—but if he did, and there was an argument, it would drag the boy and Pira into it, and that would make Kei even angrier.
This was not how he had imagined his first evening home.
~~~~~~~~
Karik jumped when he heard the front door open and then shut again, then he looked at Pira, who frowned. “I thought they said they were staying at the Rulers’ House.”
They waited, but no one came into the kitchen. “Let me g-go look,” Karik said. It really wasn’t like Kei not to come straight to the kitchen, and if Arman was with him, that made it even more odd. He picked up a lamp and lit it from a candle, then went out into the hall.
There was no one in the sitting room, or Kei’s bedroom. But the door to his workroom was ajar, so Karik pushed it open. “Hello?”
He lifted the lamp, and saw Kei sitting on his own in the dark. “Uncle Kei?”
Kei’s head was down and he was hugging himself. As Karik came closer, he was horrified to realise that Kei was crying very quietly and trying to hide it. “Uncle Kei? What’s w-wrong? Did something h-happen to Arman?” Kei shook his head. Karik put the lamp down on the workbench. What should he do? He’d never seen Kei like this. “Should I f-fetch Pira?”
“No. I, uh....” Kei covered his face with his hands and his shoulders shook.
Karik put his hand on Kei’s arm. “Please—what’s w-wrong?”
“I’m sorry,” Kei whispered, burying his face in Karik’s shoulder. “I...I, uh....”
Karik put his arms around Kei and held him, just as he would have done for Gyo or Keiji. What could have happened? And where was Arman? Arman was definitely back safe. Neka had told him that when she’d passed on Kei’s message. Had he and Kei argued? And over what? “Did you h-have a fight with Ah-Arman?”
“Oh, Karik, I was so stupid...I got all worked up and then I said things...and I know he’s not a mean person.”
“Can’t you g-go back and t-talk to him?”
Kei sat up and blew his nose, even as more tears leaked down his face. “I want to...but I want him to think too. I’m sick of this, sick of people hating each other for no reason, sick of prejudice.”
Karik’s eyes widened as he worked it out. “You ah-argued o-over m-me? Wuh-why?”
“I never said we argued over you,” Kei said, but his eyes gave him away—Kei couldn’t lie for beans. “It’s nothing to do with you. It’s Arman and...well, bad habits he’s got into. He’s not a bad person.”
“No, I kn-know.”
“I missed him so much and I want to be with him...I don’t know why I got so angry...I’m sorry,” he said, hiding his face again.
All Karik could do was hold his uncle. He didn’t really understand what was going on—he didn’t know why Kei w
ould walk away from the man he had missed so much that it had made him ill, just over him. Arman didn’t like him, so what? He wasn’t the first person who didn’t, and just because he was supposedly his father.... Karik didn’t even care about that any more. He had two wonderful parents, and he was very lucky—look at Seiki. Arman...Arman was just someone he had to put up with because he was Kei’s lover. “Sh-should I speak to him?”
Kei sniffled, and rubbed his nose. Karik almost smiled—Kei looked just like his ten-year-old nephew when he did that. “I told him to...to come and speak to you tomorrow, while I’m away. I ordered him to, actually, but that was wrong of me. I mean, if he doesn’t want to talk to you, then maybe I shouldn’t...oh, I don’t know what I should do. All I know is that two people I love are at odds and I hate that. I thought he.... Maybe I should cancel the visit, or take you with me—maybe you and he shouldn’t talk on your own.”
“It’s all r-right. I-If he’s angry, h-he’ll go to the House. W-we can wait f-for you.”
Kei smiled, a rather damp smile it had to be said, but a smile nonetheless. “You’re a good, sensible young man, Karik. You’ve got more sense than Arman or me put together, to be honest.” He drew in a deep breath. “I guess I got so worked up about seeing him again, my emotions were all in a tangle and he hit a nerve.”
“Go and s-see him again?”
“I...I think I shouldn’t. I don’t want to yell at him again.” He gnawed his bottom lip. “If I write a note, would you be willing to take it to the House in the morning before you go to the academy? I have to be up at dawn to be on the ship.”
“Of course.” Karik didn’t like the idea of Kei spending yet another night without Arman, but it was true Kei was so unsettled that he risked another fight with his lover and that would be no good for either of them.
“Thank you. I’m sorry, falling apart on you like this. Um...can you do me another favour and...well, tell Pira I’m not really up to chatting to her right now? I think I’ll just write this note and go to bed. I’ve been so tense and now I’m just exhausted.” He patted Karik’s cheek. “If Arman...well, if he loses his temper, or you do, just walk away. Go to your room, or even go and visit Vikis and Kesa. They won’t mind, and I can explain everything when I get back. But if you can make Arman see you as you are, and not as what you represent to him, then it will be a great thing. A wonderful thing.”
Falling From the Tree (Darshian Tales #2) Page 50