Leo stared at me with a dismissive look on his face before he burst out laughing. “You’re kidding, right?”
“Did I stutter?” I glared at him with annoyance clearly present in my eyes. “It’s not working and like I have told you before, I never agreed to anything with you for any length of time. I’m my own free person and you’re married. This isn’t working.”
Leo’s jaw set firmly before he squeezed his lips so hard together, the color drained from them and left them a sickly alabaster. “This is about that biker trash you used to date, isn’t it?”
I looked back at my MacBook Pro, and refused to acknowledge the question. “I never dated any biker trash so I have no idea what you are talking about.”
“Jesus Christ, Gisela—we’re all the same age. Do you think I’ve forgotten that seven month period you disappeared off the face of the earth? Ironically, Cillian also did a runner but he didn’t come back for years. What happened to you while you were gone, and why the hell did you leave in the first place?”
Now, I was fucking angry. Everyone knew better than to ask me about that time I was gone during my teenage years. To be honest, it wasn’t anyone’s business, and second of all, only three people other than Desmond, Bronaugh, and my parents knew about what happened.
Kyra, Cillian, and I.
Over the years, Drake pieced most of the story together but there was a six year age difference between the two of us, and not even he knew the whole story.
Now, here was a man whom I’d had a casual love affair with—though no feelings of love or any other strong emotions had been exchanged between us—had the gall to question me about a highly personal event in my life.
“I would like you to leave my office.”
“Gisela, stop acting like a child—”
“Right now!” I exclaimed, blood vessels standing out on my forehead, and my whole face, neck and ears felt so hot against my own skin, I’d swear I was suffering from a fever if I didn’t know it was from my temper alone.
Leo turned around to walk out when two burly members of Lucifer’s Saints, Ronan and Cricket stood in the doorway, both with their pieces drawn.
“No offense, man, to you, your father, or the Abandonato crew but if a lady asks you to leave her office, I think that is a pretty damn good idea.” Ronan leaned against the frame of the doorway.
Leo was clearly ready to dig his heels in. “Why should I listen to you two fucks when you don’t even buy product from us?”
“Because the underworld is very small…much smaller than you think and we all have secrets we want to stay dead and buried, that’s why.” Cricket never turned to look at Leo, he didn’t have to since the radiance of his menacing power was hard to miss in his stature and demeanor.
He and Ronan were both only in their mid-twenties, but Club life had made them hard already. Cricket’s shaggy wheat colored hair was slicked back and touched his shoulders. He sported a goatee, and the menacing look in his cerulean blue eyes was enough for anyone to know he was no angel, and had seen more than his fair share of violence.
His short-sleeved white tee-shirt, which displayed powerful muscles and tattoos on both arms, his left already a sleeve, proved he wasn’t afraid of where he came from, who he was associated with and how he’d acquired and maintained his power.
I gazed at Leo with daggers in my eyes. “Just leave and I’d appreciate it if you stayed out of my personal life. What went on between Cillian and I had nothing to do with this place at all and it’s no one’s business except his and mine.”
Although Leo refused to admit defeat, he finally turned away from me and left my office, brushing past Ronan and Cricket as if they were dirt.
I breathed a sigh of relief as I rose shakily to my feet. “Something I can help you with, guys?”
Ronan turned toward Cricket and nodded his head. The biker left the room and Ronan closed the door behind him before he blocked it with his solid frame. “You do realize what Cillian told you was Club business, right?”
I nodded. “His secrets are also protected by attorney-client privilege—what’s your point?”
“Nothin’ really. I just wanted to make sure my brother backed the right horse this time, know what I mean?”
What the hell was it with today and everyone wanting to talk about Cillian?
“I just drew up his legal separation papers. I’ll make sure my paralegal gets them to the courthouse on time. There should be no issues with the arrangement as is—”
“When did Brianna sign them?”
“This morning around ten. My paralegal stopped by and she was still up. There was no hostility what so ever, she signed and Renee left.”
“And Cillian?”
“He’s due in shortly. Your father said he would send him over after he finished speaking to him about Club business. I didn’t ask what it was about and he didn’t tell me.” I leaned against my desk and looked at Ronan from head to toe.
Kyra once boasted about how there were no ugly Cox men, and she wasn’t mistaken. Even this one was good looking and sexy as hell, over six feet tall with a figure that had seen a lot of body building though he’d kept it within limits. His arms were also covered in tattoos and he was lightly tanned from the sun. His eyes were his most arresting trait: violet-blue and at once gorgeous and dangerous.
He could look at a person and his eyes would seem so empty, they would appear to reflect the bottomless pits of his soul. He gazed at me like that now and the sheer penetration alone forced me to look away and down at the oak table I leaned against.
“You’re still in love with him, aren’t you?”
I glanced at him and regretted it immediately. It was phrased as a question but I only had to stare at him and quickly averted my gaze before Ronan knew it was true.
“You’re secret’s safe with me. I’m no choir boy, you know. I had…quite the reputation of fucking Saint Slappers and a few Demon scrubbers as well. That didn’t go down too well with Pops.” He laughed before he became serious again and crossed his arms against his chest. “Naomi’s back in town and I’ve carried a torch for her since high school. I know I’m not supposed to even look at her because…well, she’s black…and believe me, we know about black women.
“Most aren’t looking for casual fun unless they’re gettin’ paid for it and I’m not as blasé as Cillian to admit I have paid for it a few times. They weren’t Naomi but…they did what they were supposed to do, and that was show me a good time.”
I checked my ultra-feminine Cartier watch, a gift for my twenty-fifth birthday from my father. “I suppose this all has a point?”
“Well, yeah…but seein’ as you aren’t in any real big hurry since we got rid of your douchebag ex-boyfriend, I thought I would tell you my story, ya know, get some shit off my chest—”
“Listen, I’m neither a priest nor a shrink—”
“—that you’re not but you are the mother of my first-born nephew so let a motherfucker talk, will ya?”
I had to admit those few words gave me room for pause. “I ran into Naomi a few weeks ago and we started talkin’, started to get to know one another. I asked her out on a date and she politely declined and told me she ‘didn’t date bikers.’ Can you believe that shit? Anyway, so I kept up at it because she’s not hard to find, seein’ she’s back at home workin’ at her dad’s firing range.
“I go in everyday to practice there and one day she stops me to let me know her father got about ten Desert Eagles he’s sellin’. They’re brand new, still in the box, serial numbers and bullets—completely legit, right? So, I buy two and then ask her pops if I can take her out. He’s used to havin’ us around and he politely tells me, ‘Ain’t many black men to choose from in these here parts so yeah, you can take her out. I gotta warn you though, she bought one of them Desert Eagles too, and son, she knows how to use it. So I best tell ya know to keep yo’ dick in yo’ pants till she’s ready to see it.’”
I laughed out loud against my b
etter judgment. “Well good for you. I never thought you would be settlin’ down so soon but life happens and the world you live in…it’s rough. You need a good woman to be able to hang in there with you—”
“Yeah, exactly.” Ronan dropped his hands to his side. “I’m not judgin’ and I know Quinn knows what he’s doin’ but I don’t believe in ever making a Saint slapper an old lady—”
“Lola’s twenty-two, Ronan. How many men has she been through at that age?”
His eyes bulged. “None of the old ones but Bookie, Cricket, Cillian and I have all fucked her. I think even Kaelan—aka Jaden since that is his rock star persona—hit it the last time he came down. I don’t know what he’s thinkin’ gettin’ involved with her. Yeah, she’s a pretty girl but…not for me.”
“Do you think she would end up like Brianna?” I questioned truthfully.
“No. I think she’ll end up like Bronaugh, my mother. I need someone like Naomi because she knows when to be tough but there’s also a vulnerable side I get to see. She knows when to tone it down and when I need her to be a lady. That’s the kind of woman every man in this life needs. We need you tough but not so tough you can’t ever settle down and be a woman and let us take care of ya.”
Ronan walked closer to me until we were merely a couple feet apart. “I know I’ve got no right but…Cillian is a good man and he’s going through shit that other brothers would be sittin’ in prison for now. If Brianna was my wife, the moment I found out that motherfucker, Trey Lennon, knocked her up, I woulda killed him and then I woulda turned around and murdered her ass—baby and all. I can’t deal with shit like that, I’m exactly like my dad, and that’s why my mother has never strayed.
“Cillian may look like a younger version of our father but he isn’t Dad. He isn’t that cold or callous, and he certainly could never hurt a woman…physically. He’s been lost since you left him—”
“That wasn’t my decision!” I exclaimed before I calmed myself down.
He placed a gentle hand on my shoulder. “I know it wasn’t. You need to give him a second chance, if for no other reason than the sake of his sanity. He was never meant to be with someone so weak and who didn’t know a damn thing about Club life and how to act. She was like a kid in a candy store. All she saw was a bunch of fine ass men and wanted to fuck all the time. Brianna didn’t see Cillian as human or that he would go through some shit after a kill…takin’ a man’s life changes you, and not for the better. You need a woman who understands that, not spreads her legs as soon as you come home and thinks you want to fuck.
“Don’t get me wrong,” Ronan continued as he smiled, “sometimes you do if there is enough adrenaline fueled with booze and chronic flowing through your veins but…”
I wrapped an arm around his broad shoulders. “I suppose I am your shrink after all and none of this will ever leave this room.”
“Sometimes, all you wanna do is just have a woman wrap her arms around you and cry. I mean, just break down into heart poundin’ sobs because it fuckin’ hurts so bad. You didn’t just end another man’s life but a piece of your own humanity went with his and this is the shit you can’t tell your brothers because they know and they’ve been through it. It’s shit you can’t even be honest with yourself about because no one wants to admit a life of crime turns you into an animal and you do lose your humanity—all of it, eventually, if you aren’t careful.”
“Are you afraid of that?”
“No, not for myself but Cillian…today is the most peaceful I’ve seen him in over a decade. He knows what he has to do tonight but you gotta be there for him, Sela. Don’t leave him out there all alone. He’s got so many demons and he’s a fuckin’ asshole big brother but he’s still my brother and we need him to be strong. He’s gonna lead the Club one day and someone has to be able to have the balls to stand up against the Koslakov and the Navarro families.”
“Isn’t one of your cousin’s a Navarro?”
“Yeah but that puta don’t care about us,” Ronan said, doing a perfect imitation of someone from the Navarro cartel. “Motherfucker thinks he’s completely Mexican and always goin’ on and on about all this Aztec bullshit when if his mother hadn’t had him—and our aunt is as Irish as paddy’s pig—the stupid prick wouldn’t even be alive.”
“True. Hence the reason why Drake and I identify with all parts of our family, as twisted as they may be.”
“I heard your grandfather was a Nazi on your mom’s side—that true?”
I laughed out loud. “Um, no, it’s not true. My grandfather was born in 1943 and my mother was born summer of 1965. My great-grandfather was a supposed Nazi but we don’t talk about what life was like over in Germany before 1940.”
“I bet you know kraut though?”
I smiled tightly. “Yes, I’m fluent in German…and French. My grandmother is, technically, half French since her parents were born in Alsace-Lorraine. It was German land before the end of World War I so my grandmother identifies with being German but she also grew up speaking French.”
He began walking towards the door as he said, “Looks like Cillian picked himself a winner this time.”
“Did he?” I smiled again as Ronan paused, and turned my way. “I’m just as damaged as he is and I know I should be grateful because Conan wasn’t raised by strangers but…he was our first born and we were both cheated out of a future with him. If it’s been hell on Cillian, just know that it’s been no walk in the park for me either.”
“I know it hasn’t but you’re strong and a survivor. You won’t let this kill you and in the end, you’ll be stronger because of it.”
He winked at me and I watched Ronan leave my office before I walked over to my desk and sat down.
I hope to God I’m strong enough for what Cillian needs at this moment in his life. I have to be.
As I breathed a loud sigh of resignation, I looked at the official separation paperwork and buried it under a stack of files. Even the thought of Brianna having the last name of Cox filled me green with envy although I would never tell a single soul that. Some secrets weren’t worth repeating.
Chapter Seven
Cillian
It was almost four o’clock before Cillian drove to Jackson and Hughes Law Office in Lake Tahoe. He took his truck to look less conspicuous; he had a feeling the law would be all over him like the force of God after this crime so he choose to live his last few days in utter freedom with relish.
He walked in, past the reception desk where Debra, the receptionist, waved at him before he made a beeline for her office. Gisela was still at her desk and also on the phone as she pulled out the legal document and handed it to him.
Cillian began to read the document as he said, “Renee is never gonna get this to court on time.”
Gisela ended her phone call and faced him, her gorgeous amber eyes were bright though they had a mysterious twinkle in them. “She doesn’t have to—she’s going to e-file the documents, and mail in the original copy.” She smiled at him as he sat down across from her in one of the client chairs and signed the paperwork with his left hand.
“Listen, about last night—”
“Last night was…well, last night. You’re a busy man and I understand what kind of predicament you’re in at the moment. You had to make sure Declan and Caitlin were safe. It’s no problem, really. I didn’t take offense because you left before I awoke.”
His crystal blue eyes darkened in his sexy, handsome face. “Maybe I wanted you to take offense. You’re not just some common piece of street trash, Gisela, and if I treated you that way, it wasn’t my intention. I needed to get the kids to school and talk to Brianna before we left. She deserved the right to know it was over between the two of us.”
His beautiful lover glared at him before she turned toward her Mac PowerBook again. “Brianna isn’t as stupid as you think and if she was smart, she would have known whatever you two had was over a long time ago.”
Cillian slammed his fist down on the oak desk. �
��That’s the problem. You give her too much credit because she is that dumb. She begged me to stay but then said I would have to change my philandering ways if we were going to make a go at a real relationship.”
“And what was she going to do about her philandering ways? Were they going to stop?” Gisela stared at him with a strange look of both resignation and pity. “We don’t have to talk about this right now. Believe me, I’ve gotten the pep talk from Ronan and I won’t abandon you. At this point…the legal separation was the best I could do. With our luck, your divorce would have been fast tracked so the state could get a hold of Brianna’s testimony. I am not trying to…end what we have before we begin but try to see the situation from my point of view.”
Deadly Seduction (A Rough Riders MC Novel) (The Rough Riders Series) Page 8