by Lissa Kasey
“Like this,” I whispered to Sei, sliding up beside him and using my poles to push his skis in the right direction. I shoved one foot forward, then the next, demonstrating how to do it.
“I don’t think I’m meant for skiing,” Seiran mumbled through all his layers.
“You’ll be fine,” I assured him.
“Maybe if I have some more tea.”
“Not till later,” Jamie told him, his voice taking on the big brother instructional tone. “I have everything, don’t worry. I’ve got lunch, your pills, tea, a cell phone, and your book reader if you need a break. We’ll be fine. We’re not going that far.” He pushed himself ahead of us and skied down the trail.
Seiran experimentally slid one ski forward, and it moved, making him quickly correct it by shifting his other foot to keep his balance. He floundered with the poles but remained upright and moving, slowly, but moving. I set my pace to his. At this rate we’d get a block or two in an hour, and that didn’t bother me at all.
“Have you ever been sledding?” I asked. Every parent took their kid sledding once, right?
“I’m not an outdoorsy kind of guy,” he answered. Which would be a no.
Jamie slid back to our side, easing his pace with little effort. “Except when he turns into a lynx. I bet he’s used those big paws of his to slide down a hill or two. He goes all nature man and even eats bugs.”
“I do not!” Sei cried. “I play with them but never eat them.”
Sei’s new moon counterpart was something of a legend. I’d heard he could do it, even seen some of the aftereffects, but had never experienced his change. Mostly because mine came at the same time as his, and we were very different animals. He could also change on non-new moon nights. I’d never tried, since most said it couldn’t be done. But he could. The last time he’d changed I’d found him cowering in a closet of a farmhouse, human in form but cat in thought. Sometimes, it felt like he hadn’t come back all the way. “We can rent snowshoes. There might have even been some in the cabins. They’d act more like your paws do when you’re a lynx, but they’re harder as a human. You have to lift your feet.”
“What do you turn into?” Jamie inquired, eyes flashing with curiosity. Since the Dominion, the ruling body of magic, didn’t approve of new moon transformations, it wasn’t something we talked about. “A fish?”
I brushed my blond hair out of my eyes, shoving it more firmly under my hat. “Yeah, a dolphin. Once a mammal always a mammal, I guess. My parents have an indoor saltwater pool. But it’s pretty limiting.” Of my whole family, only my mother and I could change. I wondered what it would be like to change in the ocean for once, see millions of fish, swim in the vast wide blue. Earth witches seemed to have more options. “The three of us will probably never spend the new moon together. Must be fun for you and Sei to run. What’s your counterpart?”
“He’s a bear.” Seiran said it like it was a “duh” moment.
I suppose that made sense. Jamie was a big guy, midthirties, over six feet, covered in muscles. Though, other than his long blond hair, he didn’t seem all that hairy. But maybe he was a sculptor. I liked a man with hair and wished he’d give up some of the manscaping. It sort of felt like prying to stare too much since he was my best friend’s brother, no matter how interested I was, so searching for stubble was out of the question.
“Lynx don’t like bears much. Sei kind of goes all the way, and it upsets him when I’m around. Gabe usually follows him.” Jamie sounded a little sad about the topic. “What about you? How many days do you change? What’s it like to be underwater for long periods of time? Do you feel like a real dolphin, or do you retain your humanity?”
Sei slapped Jamie’s shoulder. “Stop. You’re like a cop giving him the third degree. Creepy, Jamie. Jeez.” He hit a minor hill and seemed to be stuck. He reached again for Jamie, who was closer, but I pulled up behind him and nudged his skis enough to help him over the hill. “Just ignore him, Kelly.”
“I don’t mind.” Catching Jamie’s eye, I winked at him. “He can give me the third degree anytime. ’Sides, the Ascendance talks about it all the time.” Sometimes the group was more refreshing than the Dominion since they actually were real about things like new moon transformations. But the Ascendance was made up mostly of untrained men. I wondered just how accurate any of their ideals were. At least the Dominion had rules that tried to keep people from getting hurt.
The haunted look that crossed Sei’s face made me want to smack myself for bringing it up. The Ascendance reminded him of Andrew Roman, who had a never-ending quest to make Gabe’s life miserable. Roman was one of the leaders of the Ascendance, and though he seemed to want equality for male witches, he wanted to kill Seiran just to make Gabe suffer.
“Sorry,” I whispered, feeling like the biggest ass in the world.
“For what?”
“Hey,” Jamie interrupted, probably to change the course of his brother’s thoughts. “Let’s hook up the rope. Me in front, Sei in the middle, and Kelly, will you go last?”
“Sure.” I leaned in and latched a cord to the belt on Seiran’s snowsuit. Jamie could no doubt pull us both with little trouble, but Sei and I liked to do as much for ourselves as we could. And though Jamie was hot personified, if you liked the muscular sort, which I did, he was no muscleheaded moron. He was smart and resourceful as well. He had gotten his RN certification just a few weeks back. He had a degree in sports medicine and did some heavy-duty financial investing. Now he just spent most of his time trying to help Seiran rebuild some of the strength lost in weeks of healing. I admired his devotion and wished my own blood family were closer. Jamie knew when to step back and let us do our thing, most of the time at least.
“If you get tired, let me know. I want to make it to the picnic grounds for a late lunch. There’s a fire pit up there that will be nice,” Jamie told us before taking off down the track and yanking us along. Sucking in a deep breath, I put my body to work to keep the larger man from pulling our weight.
The picnic area had to be only a little more than three miles, which on skis shouldn’t have taken us that long. Three hours later we slid into the park, and Sei nearly collapsed in front of the fire. He’d been pushing hard to keep up, and his hat was a sweaty sponge to prove it. He’d be really sore tomorrow.
His hands shook when he tried to pry off the gloves to warm his fingers by the fire. At least the bandages were gone, even if the shake wasn’t. Maybe we’d asked too much of him. He’d only been out of the hospital a few weeks. Jamie too.
“You okay?” I asked Sei, sliding in close.
As always he nodded. I glanced to Jamie who pulled supplies out of the bag he’d had strapped to his back.
“I have tea, Sei. I need you to eat, please. We’ll rest a bit before heading back.”
We all sat on a snowy log bench and ate quietly in the relative warmth of the bonfire. Hans had told us their maintenance guy came around a lot to tend it. I was glad he didn’t pop out of nowhere and scare us. Sei was already in bad shape. The tremor that had started in his hands moved all the way to his legs. He didn’t often get that bad anymore.
Sei downed his sandwich and half the thermos of tea without commenting. I didn’t know whether to point the tremors out by asking if he was cold or tell Jamie we should call for a ride back. Only Gabe could calm the shake when it got this bad.
Jamie didn’t look concerned. Instead, he held up a bag of marshmallows, a pack of graham crackers, and some chocolate bars. “Anyone for a chocolate fix?”
I laughed. Seiran’s eyes lit up. “Sugar is good.”
We found sticks to dangle the marshmallows near the flame. It took only a few seconds before the heat crisped up the outside into a dark shell with gooey insides. The chocolate oozed out of Seiran’s s’more as he stuffed one end in his mouth. The oversized bite had him looking like a happy chipmunk.
“Good stuff?”
“Heaven,” he mumbled through full cheeks.
I bit into
mine and tasted the sweet chocolate and sugar rush. Jamie nibbled on the edges of his, eating it much slower than either Sei or I. He seemed to be silently laughing at both of us.
“What?” I demanded.
He leaned over and rubbed his thumb along the edge of my mouth, which came away with chocolate on it. “Saving that for later?”
I felt heat burn my cheeks. “Maybe.”
When he stuck his chocolate-covered thumb in his mouth and sucked on it, the heat left my face and fled right to my cock. I had to shift a little to keep my pants from biting into my erection. Sure, he had a habit of touching me, but I’d honestly begun to think it was just from all the lack of touching he could do with Seiran, since Sei wasn’t a touchy guy. That little display, however, had not been brotherly at all.
I wasn’t quite sure how to read the small smile on Seiran’s face. But if they were going to ignore Jamie’s apparent interest, I could man up and brush it aside too. For now at least. If Jamie wanted to play, I was game.
He grinned at me like the walls he kept up weren’t there for the first time in weeks, then glanced at his little brother. Jamie looked away from both of us. When he turned our way again, his calm mask was in place, like it had never slipped. I swallowed a sigh and stared into the fire.
The sun was starting to set, though it was only around four in the afternoon. A phone rang in Jamie’s pack. He dug it out, checked the ID, then flipped it open, saying, “He’s fine.”
“Is that Gabe? I’m okay. Just tired.” Sei sipped more tea. We wouldn’t have enough for a return trip.
Jamie didn’t repeat any of that, just listened for almost a minute and a half before replying, “Okay. See you soon.”
“Jamie…,” Sei began in protest.
“Gabe is riding one of the Ski-Doos up as soon as the sun sets.”
“I’m okay.”
“It’s his vacation too, Sei. Gabe wants to spend more time with you. He made reservations at the lodge for dinner. He just didn’t expect us to be out this long.” Jamie patted Seiran’s arm. “I’ll get Kelly back, and we’ll find dinner on our own.”
Seiran groaned. “I don’t get him at all.”
Which was so untrue. Sei knew that Gabe was a born romantic and existed just for him. They both looked at each other as if the other hung the moon. The romantic dinner would serve the purpose of getting him to the lodge without him losing any personal self-worth for being too tired to do it on his own. We really shouldn’t have pushed him so hard.
The last of the fading light vanished, and we soon heard the buzz of a snowmobile roaring up the path, lights glaring in the distance. Some of the tremble left Sei’s limbs, and he seemed relieved when the machine eased to a stop a few feet from us.
Gabe stepped off and grabbed another helmet from under the seat. He handed the second one to Sei. “Skis off. Jamie will bring them back.”
Sei glared warily at the skis as though he were still unsure how they worked. Jamie leaned over and unsnapped them, then started packing up all the supplies.
Gabe kissed Seiran lightly on the lips, and they shared a look that made me almost groan in frustration. Sure, I had never really been in love with Seiran, but there had to be someone out there to look at me like that, right? Was that too much to ask?
“Can you guys find your way back okay?” Gabe asked, adjusting the strap on Sei’s helmet. He got back on the machine, sitting forward so Sei could wrap his arms around him from behind.
“We’ll be fine. It’s not far,” Jamie assured him.
With a nod, Gabe and Sei took off. I felt bad about being happy to see Sei go. But it was my fault he was so tired. I shouldn’t have suggested this trip. It could take him years to heal from all that happened in the past few months.
“He’s fine. The tremble is eighty percent anxiety, twenty percent exhaustion. I could have carried him back if I needed to. He’s still under a buck twenty,” Jamie pointed out.
I shook my head at him. No way was I going to let go of the guilt that easily. Family took care of family, even if they didn’t always agree with each other. I’d failed last time. It would not happen again. “He’s been through so much. I should have realized he wasn’t ready for something like this. He gets that faraway look in his eyes, and it’s like he’s not even there.”
“If the Dominion would support him like they are supposed to he wouldn’t have so much power cycling through him. That’s what makes him distant, unless Gabe’s around. Then I’m sure he’s just listening to whatever internal waves they have going from the Focus bond now.” Jamie strapped the extra skis to his back, then slid toward the path that would lead us to the cabins.
“I’m surprised Sei didn’t want to stay in the lodge.” He was sort of high maintenance.
“He thinks people are staring at him. And I suppose sometimes they are. They will sneak in, have a warm bath, and make it back to their cabin before morning.” Jamie wasn’t even breathing hard, though he pushed fast enough to make me strain to keep up. “Do you want dinner at the lodge or the cabin?”
“Cabin.” Watching all the couples together at the lodge would only grate at my loneliness. At least Jamie was friendly company. And the heavy wet feeling of the air told me snow was coming. “There’s going to be snow.”
Jamie adjusted his hat, glanced at the sky, and nodded to me.
It then occurred to me. “You planned to wear him out so he’d let Gabe take care of him, didn’t you?”
A ghost of a smile touched Jamie’s lips. “Don’t know what you mean.” I couldn’t keep the grin off my face as I pushed forward, looking forward to getting back to the cabin and out of the cold.
Chapter Three
BY THE time we slid to the door, the snow had already begun blowing something fierce. Inside, I set the skis aside and stripped out of the snowsuit, wrapping myself up in the heavy down blankets of my bed. The fire had dimmed to almost nothing, but throwing a few more logs on, we got it roaring again.
“I have sandwiches or chili,” Jamie told me, digging around in the cooler. “Sei’s recipe for both, so the sandwiches are little on the odd side, and the chili is extra spicy.”
“Sandwiches.” It would take longer for the chili, and I suddenly felt really tired.
Jamie grunted in reply.
“He puts chocolate in the chili,” I said, really just to keep the quiet of the room from getting to me. “Did you know that? It’s tasty. Never had a recipe from him that I didn’t like.” Curling up under the warm blankets made me even sleepier. But I ate the sandwich Jamie gave me and then an apple.
The wind howled like something alive, whipping past the cabin so hard the walls and roof creaked painfully. The crackling fire was the only noise other than our faint breathing. Pressure seemed to be building behind my eyes, like a headache was coming. Only I’d never felt anything like this before.
“Did you bring a weather radio?”
As far north as we were, cell reception was spotty. We had plenty of wood to last a whole winter if we needed. Food not so much. We’d only packed for three days. Jamie could change and hunt, but nothing much would be outside in bad weather. So the pickings would be slim.
He dropped the radio into my lap. I flicked it on, grinning like a fool. The guy must have been in Cub Scouts or something. And since he turned into a bear on the new moon, that just made me laugh like a lunatic.
“Share the joke?” I wiped at my eyes and waved a hand at him. “I think I’m just tired. It wasn’t that funny. Sorry.” Tuning to the first weather station I could find, I listened. Six to eight inches predicted overnight. That was doable. Forty-mile-an-hour wind gusts, not so much.
“Sounds like we’re in for a blizzard.” And for some reason, my feet felt frozen. In fact, my hands had that numb feel they got if you took off your gloves in subzero temperatures. And my knees shook like Seiran’s often did. The little bit of skiing I’d done shouldn’t have tired me enough to feel this cold. “Maybe the chili would be good. Warm
me up from the inside out.”
“Is the blizzard affecting you like the earth affects Sei?” “I can usually feel it coming. This one sort of rode up quick. Didn’t even see it on the news this morning before we left. But the water in the air is heavy, cold, and strong.” Suffocating. I gripped my inhaler, though I didn’t need it.
Jamie handed me a cup of tea that steamed and smelled sweet. “The chili will take a while to warm up. Drink some of this. It should calm you.”
“Sure.” I sipped the tea, used to the flowery taste, hoping it would ease some of the stiffness welling up in my limbs. Picking up a book, I wondered if I could focus enough to take my mind off the storm. The wind-sailing book had the advantage of being about warm weather and clear blue water. But ignoring the pounding cold was harder than I thought when I kept rereading the same sentence. I finally got up, threw another log in the fire, and sat down on the rug by the hearth.
Even sitting this close to the blaze didn’t warm me. For some reason I felt like I’d been dunked in a tank of ice water, and it was numbing everything from my toes on up. Closing my eyes, I focused on the moisture in the air, tried to give its fury some calm. Sadly, the water was just along for the ride, and I had no power over wind. I almost felt it whipping at me.
I tried to read again, using the firelight. Got through three pages when a huge gust of whatever was playing with water and wind ran through me like a cold-edged blade. Goosebumps rippled across my skin.
The fire flickered, then died with a hiss. Outside the wind howled an eerie echo around the cabin. I leapt to my feet and rushed into my coat, hat, and gloves. We weren’t safe here. The water pushed at me, panic rising in a way I’d never felt before. It told me that too much power hammered into the elements tonight. We were in danger.
“Where are you going?” Jamie asked as I bustled passed him and out the door. “It’s not safe out there. I’ll get the fire relit in a second.”