Elle leaned back and her head went to the side in thought, “Why to what part?”
Lailah made an agitated motion with her hands, “Why to it all? Why am I an earthbound Angel, why does my mortal brain need to go through these changes, and what is going on with my body? Why?”
Elle turned to the men in the room, she looked confused for the first time. “Why?” Elle asked them.
Uriel stepped up, “The mortals need a beacon of hope.”
Lailah glared at Uriel, “You are full of answers, and I hate every single one of them. I don’t want to be a beacon of hope. I can’t even balance my checking account. I barely make it to work on time. What makes you think I can be a beacon of hope for anyone?” Lailah threw up her hands when Uriel started to talk, “I don’t want to hear what you have to say because whatever it is I am sure to hate it. I can’t handle anything else you have to say. I feel like shit and it’s getting worse.”
“Well, that is why I am here,” Elle said turning back to Lailah. “The power building up in you is too much for you right now. If you would allow me to help you I can drain some of it off, and you will feel much better.”
Lailah’s eyes narrowed suspiciously, “And just how would you do that?”
“It just requires me to touch you. I promise you shouldn’t feel anything,” Elle said with a laugh.
“Okay as long as you don’t go in and start erasing shit, I like to remember where I’ve been,” Lailah said.
Elle cast a look at Hunter making him feel a stab of guilt, “Not my style I promise you.”
Hunter knew at some point he would have to tell Lailah the truth about James, and about Treading her mind. He would have to tell her about the time Elle had already drained her power.
He wondered how Lailah would take it. She would probably throw him out of her life. Which was what she should have done already. But he couldn’t bring himself to just walk away from her yet.
Hunter was trying to convince himself it was just because the Tribunal had marked her for the Inquisitors. But he knew it was more, Victor had said he was in ass deep but Hunter was afraid he was in much deeper than that. When Lailah had chosen him over Uriel earlier his pride for her had swelled so full he had wanted to pick her up and swing her around and kiss her soundly. But then she had fainted and his heart had almost stopped.
He wondered when her transition would be over. Then she would realize how different they were and she would definitely walk away from him. This entire situation was tying him up in knots.
Hunter realized how soundly he was between a rock and a hard place attracted to a woman he could never have. And he damn well knew it.
* * *
Lailah felt pressure in her head, and then slowly the pressure that had been building was literally lifted away.
She opened her eyes to see Elle looking down at her. Eyes all golden. Glowing that golden glow, “How do you feel?” Elle asked. Lailah searched her head for any sign of pain, but the pressure she had been feeling was now gone. “Fine, great actually.”
Elle’s smile grew. “Wonderful. The pressure in your head is one thing. The changes in your body are another thing altogether.”
Now that confused Lailah, she hadn’t noticed any changes in her body. “What are you talking about?”
Elle turned to the gentlemen in the room again, “Didn’t you tell her about the physical changes?”
“She tends to get excited and run out of the room whenever we talk about her upcoming changes,” Hunter explained the side of his mouth tilted up in a half smile.
Lailah wanted to argue but knew he was right so instead she bit the inside of her cheek and took a fortifying breath. And tried to ignore how sexy Hunter was when he was trying not to smile at her. She couldn’t help it, when she got excited she was moved to action, it was just who she was, it was an old habit. Lailah silently promised she was going to work on that. Gripping the bed sheets Lailah promised no matter what was said in the next five minutes she wouldn’t flip her lid and run around like a chicken with her head cut off. She took a fortifying breath and held it for a moment then released it she looked up at the group surrounding her.
“Okay so I’m sitting now, what kind of changes will my body go through?” she asked determined to remain calm. Her head wasn’t killing her she could concentrate and focus now, this would be easy.
“You’re going to become an Angel,” Uriel spoke up, saying it like she was a child. There was something about the sound of his voice that just grated on her nerves. Lailah wondered if she would have an easier temper when she became an Angel because she was sure Angels didn’t want to kick people’s asses just for speaking. “You’ll have an Angel’s body, not the body you have now.”
“What’s wrong with the body I have now?” Lailah snapped looking down at her body. She knew it wasn’t the sexiest most Victoria Secret Model type of body, she knew she could stand to lose ten or fifteen pounds. But she was five-six and she held her weight okay. She had overly large breasts, but the guys in high school always seemed to ogle her for. Not that she was into that, she was more a bookworm then a social bunny but still, it was nice that they looked. She did have more curves then most girls but still it wasn’t something she ever thought was wrong with her.
“You’re short for an Angel.” Uriel explained. “Your proportions are all off. Your hair is too curly. It’s just all off,” he explained motioning to her like he couldn’t explain all that was wrong with her in words.
“Did he just call me ugly?” Lailah asked Elle, who was covering her mouth with a hand. And looking at Uriel with wide eyes.
Elle shook her head but her eyes were filled with mirth, “I am so staying out of this conversation.” She said choking on her words.
“I apologize, if what I am saying seems disparaging. But when your transition is complete you will see what I mean. Your wings will make a big difference as well. Your body must be sleek and aerodynamic,” Uriel explained with a sigh and that voice of condemnation.
Lailah must have heard him wrong, and her brain stuttered for a second. “Excuse me?” she shook her head trying to clear it as everything he said tried to make sense in my mind.
“You need to be aerodynamic, you aren’t currently in this form,” Uriel said with a smile as if what he said was so wonderful.
He did it again, he flipped her bitch switch. And now she just wanted to climb off the bed and kick his ass, “Yeah, go fuck yourself, Uriel,” Lailah said. “This form ain’t flying anywhere.”
Lailah vaguely noticed Elle jump off her bed as she scrambled out. “I don’t fly anywhere. Take a good hard look,” Lailah said getting right into his face which was pretty difficult because he had a good foot of height on her, which according to him he wouldn’t have on her for long. “I’m afraid of heights. So if you think I’ll be flying anywhere you got another thing coming, buddy boy.”
Lailah turned on Uriel and glared at Hunter that smile still tugging at his sexy lips. But it quickly turned serious and it was a good thing too because she wasn’t in the mood, “Get him out of here I’m sooooo done with him.” She drew the word out.
“But—,” Uriel started.
Lailah swung on the Angel. “Done,” She screeched. “I can’t stand another thing from you. I’m tired, Uriel, exhausted. Everything you have told me has utterly and truly exhausted me.”
“But we need to prepare you,” Uriel said defeated.
“For what? To have my brain form new pathways? To have my body stretched and turned into something else and have wings sprung from my back? To have someone else brand me?” Lailah flashed her palm at him. Lailah felt like it was time to pull her hair out. “Oh wait, are you going to drug me like my wonderful Guardian Angel did when I did things he liked? Maybe sell me to some more Cults?”
Hunter pushed the Angel out of her bedroom door and slammed the door in his face. “What do you need?” Hunter asked. Lailah just stared at him. When was the last time someone had actually asked her that and meant i
t? Lailah honestly couldn’t remember. And she was left just staring up at him.
“Okay, so we are out.” Victor grabbed Elle.
“Let me know if you need anything,” Elle said as she wrapped her arms around Victor and they Flashed away.
Lailah looked at Hunter and gave him what she was sure was a weak smile. “I have no idea.” And then Lailah sat down heavily on her bed. “Everything in my life has kinda been turned on its ear. I don’t even know who I am anymore,” she said honestly. “What am I supposed to do now?”
Hunter shrugged, “I have no idea. Why don’t you take a nap and we can discuss it after you wake up.”
She gave a self-deprecating laugh, “Thanks for the advice.”
Hunter moved so he was squatting in front of her, “I don’t have any answers Lailah. I am as lost as you are. All I know is death, lies and deceit that is what I deal in. All of this is new for me.” Hunter pulled on her hands that had been folded in her lap. “But this is what I do know; I know the Tribunal have marked you. I know that you are in danger. And I know that I will do everything in my power to keep you safe.”
“Why?” She knew he didn’t have to do any of this. And Lailah needed to know why.
He sighed heavily “Because I think this is all my fault, this danger you are in is because of me. My fault that slimy detective ended up sniffing around you. Now I have to make it better,” Hunter explained, this time he wasn’t quiet making eye contact with her.
“What?” Lailah felt a ball of dread forming in her stomach and she wasn’t sure she wanted to hear the answer.
“I am the reason you were left unprotected on the mortal plane. I am the reason you no longer have a Guardian. But no matter what happens you won’t make me feel sorry for it,” Hunter said, “I will tell you what happened and if, however, you want me to leave and never come back I will understand.”
Lailah pulled away from Hunter, “Tell me,” She felt like she had swallowed a rock and it was sitting in her stomach and it was making her sick. Hadn’t she been through enough today?
“That day at the bookstore, it wasn’t the first time we met.” Lailah felt her world tilt and she would have screamed for Hunter to stop speaking but he was already talking, and she couldn’t stop him now know matter how much she wanted to. He was bursting her bubble and Lailah was surprised how much it hurt, “James called for an audience with Dante, said he had something Dante would want. That he had something he wanted to sell to Dante. I was the Reaper, Dante sent to answer the call.” This was a story she knew all too well, but to sell her to Dante? The idea made her more than sick to her stomach. Lailah wrapped her arms around her stomach willing herself to keep whatever was left in her stomach there.
“But he failed to sell me to Dante. I woke up and left before Jimmy could complete the deal,” Lailah choked.
Hunter shook his head, “No you didn’t.” His dark eyes were watching her very carefully.
Lailah lunged from the position she had been on the bed and pushed at Hunter as she choked back tears, “But I woke up in Jimmy’s apartment alone—” This wasn’t happening, he was lying to her, why would Hunter lie to her like this. And why did it have to hurt so much? Why did this betrayal hurt worse than anything Jimmy had done?
Lailah glared at Hunter. This wasn’t happening she searched her mind trying to remember, trying to pull up the memories. But she couldn’t remember anything, it was all a blank that night was empty.
“Do you want me to tell it?” Hunter asked his voice clipped. Lailah gave him a hard look, afraid of what he might tell her. Biting her nails Lailah finally nodded, “Jimmy took me to his apartment and showed you to me, said you were very important and that Dante would want you that you were worth something to the Angels. And because of that he would speak with Dante alone about the price on your head. I took you and him back to the Infernos.”
Lailah felt her knees go weak and when Hunter jumped up to grab her she waved him off. “Don’t touch me.” Lailah looked at him and wasn’t sure if she recognized him anymore.
“You took me… a helpless and unconscious woman to the Infernos to be sold to Dante?” Lailah felt her stomach pitch, and remembered she had nothing in her stomach she had already thrown everything up from the news Uriel had given her. She was purged of everything she was already. Lailah took heavy breaths not sure if she would be able to hear the rest of this story. Her ears were ringing and she didn’t know if she could just stand here and listen to Hunter anymore.
“Yes, I did,” Hunter admitted.
“Then what happened?” It was like a train wreck she just couldn’t not listen. Lailah turned away from him. She couldn’t look at him anymore, his beautiful face, a face she had come to trust with her life, trust so much and she couldn’t look at him and listen to him betray her in a way that hurt all the way to her core.
“Jimmy asked to make a deal with Dante. He wanted to sell you to him. It was a basic deal.” Lailah felt her head sag. And she had to make herself breath. This wasn’t the first time Jimmy had done this, why was she so surprised? Why was this time so different, why did this time hurt so much more than before? Because she didn’t remember. Because she thought she had gotten away, but she hadn’t, she had gone to the Infernos for god’s sake. What kind of deal did Jimmy make with Dante? What did Dante do to her? Lailah couldn’t even begin to wrap her mind around the tortures the Infernos held. Couldn’t begin to imagine what Dante would do to her?
“And then what happened?” Lailah heard herself ask and she barely recognized her own voice. It shook with fear, and uncertainty.
“Dante refused,” Hunter explained.
Lailah’s head shot up, and she turned to look at Hunter, “What? You’re kidding?”
Hunter nodded, “Dante is many things Lailah, but he doesn’t deal in the flesh trade. He definitely doesn’t deal in nefarious deals like the one James was dealing in despite what mortals and Others may believe in him.”
Lailah let out a sigh of relief, “Then what happened?”
Hunter looked uncomfortable, “James had come to the Infernos of his own free will, Lailah. Something you should understand if you come to the Infernos of your own free will and your soul is hindered in any way? It won’t end up well for you. James should have known better,” Hunter said. “But now that he was there we couldn’t let him go unpunished. He had much to answer for. Not only to you but for all the other things that weighed heavy on his soul.”
That uncomfortable feeling in Lailah’s stomach turned into a rushing sound in her ears. This was bad, really really bad.
“James had several marks against him, his soul was stained with deceit, what he had done to you wasn’t his only crime, and I had no problem judging him and sending him to Treachery,” Hunter explained with so little feeling it took Lailah a full minute for the words to get past the rushing sound in her ears and sink in to her mind.
“What?” Lailah screamed. “That is where Jimmy has been all this time?”
Hunter nodded. Lailah lunged at Hunter, “Go to Treachery and get him. He must be suffering terribly.” Lailah shoved Hunter in the chest. She was stunned and hurt and couldn’t even fathom what Jimmy was going through. She had to get him out of the Infernos. Her mind stuttered for a moment at the pain and horrors he was going through.
Hunter nodded, “Yes. Yes he is.” His voice cold.
Lailah felt her eyes bug out, “Hunter, he was a horrible Guardian. And not the greatest of people. But he doesn’t deserve to suffer eternally for what he did to me.”
Lailah continued to shove at him Hunter, trying in vain to get him to move. She might as well have been trying to move a wall. “I can’t live with myself knowing he is suffering like that.”
For the first time since meeting, Hunter, Lailah saw the hard Reaper in him, his gray eyes turned black and a vein in his temple throbbed, making his scars stand out. “I will not feel sorry for a soul like James. What he did to you was not his only crime Lailah, did you think a
bout that?”
Lailah stopped struggling and she looked at Hunter, “No,” she shook her head confused.
“And what he did to you was reprehensible, and you say he cared for you, can you imagine what he did to those he cared nothing for. How can you think about forgiving him? James will remain exactly where he is,” Hunter said pushing past her and heading for the door. She was too upset to stop him.
“Do the Reapers ever make mistakes?” Lailah asked. Jimmy was a lost soul, yes he had done many horrible things. But she couldn’t imagine the pain he was left to endure in Treachery. It left her cold and sick.
“No. I don’t expect you to understand because you don’t see the soul of a person. Maybe when you are done with your transition and you can, you’ll understand. James remains where he is, suffering for his crimes,” Hunter said as he left her alone in her room. Her bedroom door clicking quietly behind him.
Lailah ran to the door and flung it open. Hunter stopped in the hallway but didn’t turn around.
“Do you know what loyalty is Hunter?” Lailah shouted at his back. When Hunter didn’t turn around Lailah continued. “Yes he did horrible things to me, but once upon a time we were all each other had. That’s loyalty, I can’t live with myself knowing he is suffering because of me.”
Hunter still didn’t turn around and Lailah wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of seeing her burst into tears so she retreated back into her room and slammed the door. It was an immensely satisfying sound.
Lailah climbed into her bed and pulled the covers over her head. She knew it was the middle of the morning but she didn’t care. Lailah had had one hell of a morning and all she honestly wanted was for the entire world to just go fuck itself.
She had found out she was an Angel, and not just any Angel, a god’s damned earthbound Arch Angel. Her body was changing, and she was most likely going to sprout wings. And Jimmy was spending eternity in Treachery. Lailah would have laughed if she thought it would help, but she wasn’t sure she wouldn’t end up crying like a baby if she laughed right then.
And what about Hunter? It was hard to imagine she had just met him twenty-four hours ago. Oh wait—scratch that she had met him while unconscious a couple of weeks ago. And now he felt responsible for her because he had sent her Guardian Angel to Treachery. So he was just here because he felt responsible for her.
Reaper Dreaming: A Reaper Novel Page 12