by Avery Ford
Did they even have an assortment of cheeses at the little corner store? There were only like five aisles in the whole place, and Chase had already been down two of them.
“If I were an assortment of cheeses,” he mumbled to himself as he rounded the corner to the next aisle. “Where would I—oh—”
Chase looked up just as his shopping cart collided with someone else’s.
“Sorry,” the man said, his face flushing pink. “I didn’t even see—Chase?” His mouth opened and closed twice before he got another word out. “Chase Carpenter?”
“Ho-ly shit, Ben-fucking-Harper, are you kidding me? Is that really you?” Chase moved around the tangled carts and caught his old high school buddy in an embrace. “Man, you grew up. Sorry about bumping into you. I was just looking for—”
“Some assorted cheeses?” Ben asked, laughing as he clapped Chase on the back. “Yeah, I heard. I thought I recognized the voice, and then—well, then this happened.”
“Right.” Chase shook his head and brandished the list his mom had sent with him. “These damn cheeses. Man, how have you been? You know, I thought about calling you as soon as I got back in town, but…”
His voice trailed off as he remembered the last time he’d actually seen Ben.
That night before he left Baxter Springs for the Marines.
That night they kissed.
“I’ve been good, thanks,” Ben answered, cutting through the memory and making Chase realize he’d gone quiet for a moment. He wondered if Ben still remembered that night, too. “So… you’re, um, back in town?”
“Only for a couple of weeks. Jake is holding a job for me in New York, so I’ll be moving up there at the end of the month. But I just got out of the Marines and my mom threatened to disown me if I didn’t at least spend a little time back here first.”
Ben’s face fell when Chase said he would be moving soon, but he recovered quickly. Did he really think Chase would’ve moved back to Kansas permanently? It might have been a long while since they’d seen each other, but surely Ben knew him better than that.
“Sounds like you still can’t stand the thought of sitting still for too long,” Ben remarked with a wry grin. “I guess some things never do change.”
“Nope.” Chase shook his head. Maybe Ben did remember some things about him, after all. “Just the thought gives me hives. But we should catch up while I’m here. Do you have plans for dinner? I’m sure my mom could make a place at the table for you and your folks—your brother, too, if he’s free.”
Ben swallowed hard and his smile thinned out to a straight line as he pressed his lips together for a moment. “I can’t, sorry. Eric is back at the ranch waiting for me now, actually. But we’ve still got some work to do tonight before we can turn in. Our parents passed away a couple of years ago.”
“Oh, man.” Chase felt like he’d just been punched in the gut, and he reached out to squeeze his friend’s shoulder. “I’m so sorry, Ben. I had no idea.”
“It’s okay,” Ben said, offering a weak half-smile. “You couldn’t have known. But anyway, thank you for the invitation. Maybe some other time before you have to go?”
Chase felt a pang of disappointment coupled with the shock he still felt over hearing the news about Ben’s parents, but he tried to mask all of it behind a big smile. It was late notice, after all, so it’s not like he should have expected Ben to drop everything and rush over for dinner.
But still… as close as they used to be, it would be a shame not to at least take a short trip down memory lane while Chase was still in town.
“Yeah,” Chase answered. “I’d like that. Maybe we can do dinner another time, or drinks or… something.”
“Perfect,” Ben nodded, then slowly moved to extract his shopping cart from Chase’s. “I guess I should let you get back to your, um, scavenger hunt.”
Chase rolled his eyes. “Seriously, I don’t think I’m ever gonna make it through this list.”
“I’ll give you a hint. Try the deli counter for your cheeses. Shirley back there might even arrange them on a platter for you if you bat those big blue eyes at her.”
“Oh yeah?” Chase quirked an eyebrow and cut his eyes toward the back of the store. “You think she’s got the intel on what kind of wine goes with fish?”
Ben gave a half-shrug. “I’ll give you that one for free. You can’t go wrong with a chardonnay. Just pick one. I’m sure your mother isn’t expecting any miracles here.”
“You’re a life saver, Ben Harper.” Chase stuck out his hand to shake, but then pulled Ben in for another half-hug. “And I’m serious about catching up sometime soon. I know where you live. Is your number still the same from back in the day?”
Ben shot him a funny look. “You still have my number?”
Chase shrugged. Was that weird? It didn’t seem strange until Ben asked, but now that Chase considered it… yeah, there weren’t too many other people in Chase’s phone from eight years ago.
Especially ones he hadn’t spoken with in nearly as long.
“Of course I do,” Chase said, deciding to take the nonchalant approach. He could keep whatever number he wanted, for whatever reason, right? “Last I heard, you and I were still friends, so…”
Ben chuckled. “Okay, fair enough. But yeah, my number is still the same. Use it if you get time.” He smiled and looked at Chase like he wanted to say something more. Instead, he maneuvered his cart through the narrow aisle and gave a little wave. “It was nice seeing you again, Chase. Take care, and tell your parents hello for me.”
“Will do,” Chase nodded. “And it was good to see you, too. Really good. I’ll be in touch soon.”
Chase watched as Ben turned the corner and moved out of sight, then stayed there watching that same spot for a few more seconds, just in case.
In case of what, Chase wasn’t even sure.
Maybe Ben would pop back around the corner, just as abruptly as he had a few minutes before. Or maybe he would change his mind about the dinner invitation Chase had offered.
Maybe Chase would just catch another glimpse of him shopping, doing whatever, living his normal, non-Chase-centric life. The same way he had apparently been doing for the past eight years that Chase had missed.
Because even though Chase hadn’t really noticed the changes that had happened in Baxter Springs since he’d been gone, there clearly had been some pretty big ones.
Like the way his best friend had grown up and turned into this cowboy with tight jeans and muscles, completely at odds with the teen in Chase’s mind—barely eighteen and all arms and legs.
Or how Ben had lost his parents but still apparently took care of the family ranch.
It made Chase wonder what else he had missed. What else had happened while he was off fighting on the other side of the world?
Maybe it was better that he didn’t know.
Being blissfully unaware of just about everything that had happened stateside for almost a decade hadn’t been a problem before, so maybe it was better to stay on that path for a little while longer. Once he was settled in New York, maybe he could get involved in some local stuff.
He’d be starting his whole life over, basically from scratch, so it just made sense to keep his blinders on until then. Sure, he still wanted to sit down and talk to Ben for a while—that was definitely going to happen.
But anything else? Especially anything that involved putting himself out there or putting down roots?
Yeah, that was gonna be a hard no.
He’d visit with his family, he’d touch base with Ben, and then he’d be on a plane to New York.
Two weeks.
Nothing major.
No commitments.
Just two weeks, and then he could start over.
Chapter 2
Ben
Even from fifty yards away, Ben could see Eric scowling at him.
His older brother stuck a pitchfork in the hay he’d been spreading and crossed his arms as Ben pulled up in fron
t of the big red barn behind the house. “I thought maybe you got lost between here and town.” He paused to give Ben a healthy dose of stink eye. “If I would’ve known you were driving to Joplin to do your grocery shopping, I would’ve had you pick up something for dinner on the way.”
Ben snorted. “I didn’t need to cross the state line to do my shopping, thank you very much. And if I would’ve made that thirty-minute drive, I probably wouldn’t have run into Chase Carpenter at the corner store.”
“No shit?” Eric’s eyes went wide. “That’s a name I haven’t heard in forever. When did he get back in town?”
Ben still felt just as surprised as Eric looked. It was even weird to say Chase’s name after all these years, especially since they had been so close growing up. With Eric being four years older than Ben, there were plenty of days—especially during high school—when Ben would see more of Chase than his own family.
That was another time, though. It felt like it could have been another world.
“I don’t know when he got back,” Ben answered, finally, opening the door and stepping out of the truck so he didn’t have to shout every word. “I just ran into him—like, literally, with my shopping cart—at the grocery store. He invited us over for dinner with his parents tonight.”
“Us? Like… you and me?” Eric’s face lit up. “For real? Let’s go.”
Ben frowned. “We can’t go. I already told him we were busy.”
Eric’s face fell. “What? Why? We’re not busy. I’ve been shoveling shit all afternoon and you turn down a chance to go have a nice meal for a change? What’s wrong with you?”
Of course, Eric’s only concern would be getting fed. No thoughts on how awkward it might be to show up at the Carpenters’ house for dinner after not really seeing or talking to any of them in years. No cares given about how Ben might feel about it.
“Nothing is wrong with me.” Ben cleared his throat and shot his brother a dirty look. “I just… he caught me by surprise, that’s all. I mean… don’t you think that might be just a little weird to hang out with Chase and his family after so long? That doesn’t seem strange to you?”
Eric shrugged. “I didn’t really think about it like that, but… I don’t know. I always got along with Jake.”
“When is the last time you even saw Jake? Have you seen him since you graduated? Because I barely have, and I spent practically every day over there when Chase and I were in high school.”
“Oh, yeah, I forgot you guys were that close,” Eric said, conveniently ignoring Ben’s questions. “And you really haven’t talked to him at all since he joined the Marines? Wasn’t that right after you guys graduated?”
Finally, Eric was starting to see the bigger picture.
Maybe.
Chances were he would still be on the road to the Carpenters’ house in a hot minute for a free meal if Ben relented.
But that was not what they were going to do. Not tonight, anyway. And definitely not for some dinner party with God only knows how many other people Ben hadn’t seen or spoken with in nearly a decade.
“No, we haven’t really talked since then,” Ben said, quietly, shuffling his feet on the muddy ground. “I mean, there were a couple of times right after he enlisted. But yeah, it’s been a while.”
“Why are you acting so weird about this?” Eric gave him a funny look, and then his eyes went wide again. “Did you guys ever… you and Chase, I mean…”
“No,” Ben insisted. “No. God, Eric. I just… I can’t help how I feel about the situation, okay?”
Ben had been out of the closet for more than a decade. His parents and brother had been supportive from the very beginning, and it had been a long, long time since Eric had even brought up the subject of Ben’s dating life—or lack thereof, to be more precise.
The fact that he chose to do so now was a little unsettling. Was Ben really acting that flustered about the whole Chase thing? Was he that transparent?
“And how do you feel?” Eric asked. “You do have feelings for Chase, don’t you?”
Ben sighed. Was he really ready to go there? Was Eric really that intrigued?
“Maybe I did at one point,” Ben confessed. “But even if I did, that was a long time ago. Now, I just… we’re different people now. I don’t even know him anymore. I probably wouldn’t have even recognized him if he hadn’t said my name.”
That was a lie. Ben would’ve recognized that smile and those blue eyes anywhere. He’d seen them enough times, even dreamed about them. Yeah, he’d always be able to pick Chase Carpenter out of a lineup, but he didn’t really need to explain all of that to Eric.
Especially since it would confirm what Eric already expected, and that was definitely not something Ben was ready to admit.
Not to Eric, and not even to himself.
“Okay, well… I’m just saying that if you do still have feelings for him, you should tell him while you have a chance.” Eric shrugged. “But that’s all I’m gonna say about it. I know you’ll just do whatever you want anyway.”
“Right now, all I want is to stop talking about Chase,” Ben snapped, walking over to grab the pitchfork Eric had set aside. “Because we still have plenty of work to do, and me whining about something I might have felt almost a decade ago isn’t helping anything.”
Eric put his hands up in a mock surrender. “Fine, hey, I’m just trying to help.”
Ben bit back another rude reply. It really wasn’t worth fighting about, and he knew Eric honestly was just trying to be helpful. His advice might have even made sense.
But that would require Ben to talk to Chase about what happened all those years ago, and… well, that just wasn’t going to happen. Not unless Chase brought it up first.
Even then, Ben wasn’t sure if he’d be ready to hash it out.
He was even less sure it would do any good. Chase was leaving in a couple of weeks. That had apparently already been settled.
If Ben got attached—re-attached—now, he’d just have to forget about Chase all over again.
By the time Ben climbed into bed that night, he was exhausted. He and Eric had worked until the sun had gone completely down, until they could barely see their own hands in front of their faces.
Nothing about the work had been particularly urgent, but Ben had figured that the busier their hands and minds were, the less time Eric would have to question him about things like feelings and boyfriends and Chase.
Chase.
Just when Ben was finally feeling old enough and mature enough to chalk those past feelings up to an impossible teenage crush, just when he was finally over all of the sadness and confusion and what if’s that Chase had left him with, this had to happen.
Chase had to come back, like a nearly forgotten ghost of Ben’s past.
And Ben didn’t have a clue what he was supposed to do about it or how he was supposed to feel.
At least Eric had gone home to his cozy little house across town, where he couldn’t needle and poke and prod at all of the emotions Ben still apparently wore on his sleeve.
Now, Ben was alone in the big, old ranch house.
Alone with his thoughts and feelings and memories of a time when everything had seemed simple.
Uncomplicated.
Easy.
Nothing felt easy anymore, though. Not since Chase had gone. Not since Ben’s parents had been taken away in a senseless car accident.
In fact, it felt more and more like it was just Ben against the world. If Eric hadn’t been around to keep him sane and remind him that they still had work to do and obligations to take care of, Ben might never have left the house again.
He sighed as he stared up at the ceiling. The air in his bedroom was still and hot. Summer in Kansas was in full effect, but the old, overburdened central air unit struggled to keep up.
Ben pushed the sheets down around his waist and then kicked them free of his legs, too.
Nope.
Still hot.
And still thinking
about Chase—who also happened to still be hot after all this time.
Whatever kind of hardcore training Marines did had certainly paid off, because Chase looked hot as hell. Maybe even hotter than he had been back then, back when he was already the best looking guy Ben had ever seen.
Chase hadn’t lost a bit of his old charm, either. Ben’s dick twitched at the memory of the moment they recognized each other, when Chase had smiled at him and had looked genuinely excited to see Ben.
Ben thought back to that night eight years ago, how intense the look in Chase’s eyes had been. He felt like Chase could see right into his soul, could see everything he wanted and needed.
Everything else about Chase might have changed—for the better, in Ben’s opinion. He had seemed a little taller, and definitely more muscular. His tanned skin and easy smile were definitely still recognizable, but those eyes…
Ben’s hand roamed over his chest, absently grazing a nipple as he traced tiny circles with the tips of his fingers. His own touch, combined with the memory of those piercing blue eyes sent an electric jolt through Ben’s body.
Drawing a ragged breath, he thought back to the way Chase’s lips had felt—so unbelievably soft, in total contrast to his rugged features and light dusting of the kind of perfect stubble that Ben had been secretly a little jealous of.
His cock was rock-hard, straining against the thin fabric of Ben’s boxer briefs as his hand moved lower over his stomach. He wondered if Chase’s lips still felt the same. If that kiss happened now, would it still send the same tingle up the back of Ben’s spine?
Ben’s cock throbbed as his hand edged closer, as if answering the unspoken question.
Yeah, pretty sure Ben would still get all the tingles in all the places.
He hadn’t meant to think about Chase like that again. He hadn’t even thought about the man at all lately, after so many years of trying to let go of that stupid crush.