by Avery Ford
And oh, Jesus, it felt good.
For several seconds, he kept his eyes closed and let the hot water wash over him, hitting his face and running in rivulets down his body. His shoulders and chest immediately felt less tight, less tense as he slowly inhaled and exhaled.
He was still hard, though. So hard. And as he skimmed a hand down his chest and over his abs, he could still remember exactly how Ben’s body had felt against him.
It had been like a dream, like the best dream he’d ever had.
The urgency, the need, the desire had been so much stronger from both of them than anything Chase could remember from their teenage years. He hadn’t wanted to stop then, just like his cock wasn’t going to let him stop now.
Chase turned so the water was at his back and wrapped a hand around his shaft. He let out a groan and clenched his teeth to stop it from becoming a full-throated moan as his hips jerked forward.
Damn, he wished Ben was there with him, touching him, stroking him. But that was probably never going to happen—even if Chase did have enough balls to actually share his feelings with Ben.
For now, though, the fresh memories in his mind were definitely going to be enough to make Chase come undone.
With his free hand, he reached out to steady himself against the tile wall as he started stroking faster with his other hand, thrusting against his fist with an intensity that already had his climax building inside of him.
“Oh, Jesus,” he whispered to himself as he remembered the way Ben had tasted—so sweet but all man, and his kisses had been just as powerful and needy as Chase’s. “Fuck.”
He pumped faster, harder, ready to release all of the tension and frustration that he’d been feeling.
It wasn’t going to take long. He could already feel it coursing through his body, radiating out from somewhere deep inside.
And then, when he remembered that delicious, needy little sound Ben made?
Yeah, that was enough to push Chase over the edge.
With a long, low moan that he couldn’t hold back any longer, he let go, opening his eyes to see the white hot jets spilling over his fist and splashing onto the shower floor where they were immediately washed away.
Breathless and panting, he leaned against the tile wall, his whole body trembling from the orgasm that just rocked through him.
He lost track of how long he stood there, letting the water wash over him while he came down from his climax, but the hot water was starting to fade by the time he finally regained all of his senses.
Which was probably just as well. He grabbed the soap and started to wash his body, finally able to concentrate on something that didn’t have anything to do with Ben.
Or feelings.
Or kissing.
Or any of the other choices in his life that led him to that moment.
His mind was clear. His body was clean.
All that was left was to go to his room, climb into bed, and prepare himself to deal with whatever tomorrow might bring.
Chapter 8
Ben
Ben pretended not to notice his brother staring at him as he sat on the tailgate of his pickup and picked at the sandwich he had packed for lunch.
Eric had been asking not-so-subtle questions all morning about Ben’s non-date with Chase the night before. Fortunately for Ben, there was always enough work to do on the ranch that unwanted conversations were usually easy enough to avoid.
Lunchtime was the exception to that rule, though, and they both knew it. It would only be a matter of time before Eric got bored with dropping hints and decided to put Ben on the spot.
“So are you going to tell me about your date or not?” Eric asked, huffing out an impatient breath as Ben slowly raised the sandwich to his mouth and took a bite.
The time had come quicker than Ben had anticipated, but that was okay. At least it would be out of the way and they could both get on with the rest of their day.
“Like I said before,” Ben replied, doing his best to keep his voice even. “It wasn’t a date. Just two old friends getting together for coffee.”
“Mhm,” Eric grinned. “And how was… coffee?”
Ben narrowed his eyes. “Fine. Thank you.”
Still, he could feel his cheeks heating up, and he knew he wouldn’t be able to blame his red face solely on the midday heat. And it was likely to get worse before Eric was finished asking questions.
“What did you guys talk about?”
Ben set his sandwich aside and gave Eric a hard stare as he silently counted to ten in his head. “What do you think we talked about, Eric? He told me about his life, I told him about mine. We had a nice time. I came home, and then he…” Ben cleared his throat and looked away as the memories from the night before flooded his mind. “Then I guess he also went home.”
Eric looked skeptical, and Ben cursed himself for being such a bad liar. He wasn’t normally embarrassed or defensive when he was talking about his day, and Eric would certainly know that. But he wasn’t going to share every detail with his nosy brother, either.
Especially when it was just to satisfy some weird curiosity.
“I don’t know why you’re so touchy,” Eric muttered, folding his arms across his chest. “I was just making conversation.”
“Well, I appreciate your concern,” Ben lied. “But I don’t see what the fascination is. It’s not like we… whatever. I just don’t see the point in having this conversation.”
Eric shrugged. “Fine. We don’t have to talk about it anymore. I just could tell you were nervous and excited yesterday, and I know you had some things you might have wanted to get off your chest with Chase. But if you don’t want to tell me anything about it, you don’t have to. But don’t complain later when you don’t have anyone to talk to about this stuff.”
Ben grimaced. He was annoyed by the whole situation, and he was a little bit pissed off at Eric for poking at what he already knew was a sensitive topic.
He was also pissed that Eric was one hundred percent right.
There were things Ben had wanted to get off his chest the night before. It would probably come as no surprise to Eric to learn that those things were still unsaid and unresolved.
But what was Ben supposed to do? Corner Chase and spill his guts?
What good would it do?
“Look,” Ben said, pausing to let out a long sigh. “I really do appreciate your, um… concern. Honestly. But there just isn’t much to tell. I wish there was more, but—”
As he spoke, a familiar truck pulled into the long driveway that led to the house and beyond, to the pasture where he and Eric were working.
It was as if Chase had been conjured by their conversation.
“Oh, damn,” Eric said, a grin forming on his face as he shielded the sun from his eyes to watch the truck approach. “Looks like you’ve got company.”
Ben barely heard him. He was already up and walking toward the gravel driveway to meet Chase. “I won’t be long,” he called back over his shoulder, not knowing or particularly caring if Eric heard him.
Even though Ben didn’t know exactly what Chase might want, he had a hunch that the conversation they were about to have would overshadow any amount of brotherly teasing.
For Ben, at least, shit was about to get real.
As soon as the truck rolled to a stop, before Chase even opened the door to get out, Ben could tell it was serious. Chase wasn’t smiling or even smirking. His bright eyes had bags under them, and a deep crease had appeared in the center of his forehead.
There were only a handful of times in Ben’s life when he could remember his friend looking so solemn, so withdrawn, so worried.
None of those times had turned out to be anything good.
“Hey,” Ben called, giving a little wave once he was a few yards away. “Didn’t expect to see you out here today.”
Chase gave a brief smile and shoved a hand back through his hair. It was a sure sign of stress, even if Chase no longer had the shaggy lo
cks that framed his face back in their high school days.
“I was hoping, uh…” Chase paused, and looked over Ben’s shoulder toward Eric. “Sorry, did I catch you at a bad time? I should have probably called first, but—”
“No,” Ben interrupted, waving a dismissive hand in Eric’s direction. “He’ll be back to work in a few minutes. This is good—a good time, I mean. For… whatever.”
Great.
Already awkward.
Just like Ben had imagined it would be.
“Right. Good.” Chase took a deep breath. “So…I was hoping we could talk about last night. About the kiss. And also about the time before.”
Ben could feel his mouth fall open. As many times as he had wanted to hear those very words come out of Chase’s mouth, he never thought it might actually happen. He blinked hard and shut his mouth again with an audible snap.
Suddenly he felt too hot, like the sun had gotten a lot brighter or the temperature had gone up about twenty degrees over the past few seconds. Ben’s hands were clammy and his mouth was dry. Were they really about to discuss The Kiss? And then The Other Kiss?
Was he even ready for that?
The color had slowly drained from Chase’s complexion and Ben belatedly realized that he’d been silent the entire time he was internally hyperventilating.
“Okay,” Ben said, finally. “Yeah, I, um, definitely think we should talk about that—those… things. Those kisses.”
Saying the words out loud kicked the temperature up another five degrees, and Ben was pretty sure he was visibly sweating by that point.
“I never really knew what to say about it,” Chase confessed. “I still don’t, honestly. Except to say that I don’t regret it happening either time. In fact, I’ve probably thought back on that kiss—those kisses, now—more than I’ve thought about anything else, ever.”
“I don’t regret it, either,” Ben said, feeling a surge of relief that left him smiling. He still wasn’t sure where the conversation was heading, but at least it felt like they were on the right track. “But what does that mean? You like guys now? Or you always have? Sorry, I’m just a little confused here.”
Chase took a step closer and shook his head, but mirrored the wide smile that had spread across Ben’s face. “I don’t like guys,” he said. “At least… I haven’t met another guy that I felt this way about. I like you, Ben. I don’t know what it means, honestly. It’s hard to even put into words. But I needed to try, so… here I am.”
Ben had to blink quickly to fight back the tears that had started to well up. He didn’t cry very often—the last time had been shortly after his parents died. But he was definitely in danger of becoming a sobbing wreck if Chase kept going.
“Wow…” Ben turned away quickly to swipe at his eyes. “I, um… I never knew you felt that way. I wish we would’ve had this conversation about eight years ago. Maybe even before that.”
Chase laughed. “I know, right. I wonder if things might have turned out differently.”
“I can think of a couple of things we might have tried,” Ben said, joining the laughter. “There were a lot of nights I spent thinking about that kiss back then.”
“I did, too,” Chase agreed. “I still think about it.”
For a moment, there was silence between them—but not an awkward silence this time. It was a moment of relief, a moment of clarity. To Ben, it felt like they were really seeing each other clearly for the first time in a really long time.
Maybe for the first time ever.
“I’m glad you told me,” Ben said, finally. “Even if it doesn’t change anything—even if it’s too late to see where it could have gone, I’m glad there isn’t this weird unspoken… thing… between us anymore.”
“Yeah, I totally agree.” Chase tilted his head to the side a little as he held Ben’s gaze. “But… do you really think it’s too late?”
Ben shrugged, furrowing his eyebrows. “Isn’t it? You’re leaving in a few days, right? Even if we wanted to take things a step further, I don’t see how we could.”
Even as he spoke the words, though, Ben could see the twinkle in Chase’s eyes. He could tell the wheels were turning. He’d seen the exact same look plenty of times before, and there was definitely a plan hatching inside that sexy brain.
Chapter 9
Chase
Chase had only pulled up to Ben’s ranch with one thing in mind—to clear the air and hope they could still be friends.
But once he started talking, once the weight started to lift from his shoulders, he realized that what he wanted was to be more than just friends. Especially once he saw that Ben wanted more, too.
How could they make that happen, though? Dating wasn’t exactly practical, given the soon-to-be long-distance situation. And he knew neither of them wanted to do anything that might jeopardize their friendship.
Chase really wanted an opportunity to kiss Ben again, though. He wanted it to be something they could talk about and laugh about and have fun with—not something they had to run and hide from.
An idea was forming in Chase’s head, though. An idea that—if Ben was on board with it—might just be the best possible solution.
“So, you’re right,” Chase said, smiling as the idea started to take shape. “I am leaving in a few days. But it seems like a shame to waste the time I’ve got left, you know? It is almost two whole weeks away.”
“It would be a shame,” Ben agreed, his brows knitting together. “But… I’m not sure I follow.”
Chase took a step closer. He knew they were too far away for Eric to hear, but he didn’t want to take any chances. What he was about to ask could really go either way, but the more he thought about it, the more he felt it was really the perfect plan.
“Maybe it’s too late to go back and change what happened eight years ago, or even last night. But we still have all this time.” Chase quirked an eyebrow and dropped his voice. “What if we went on a date? Just to see what might happen—or what might have happened.”
“What?” Ben cast a quick glance back over his shoulder. “Like… an actual date? You and me?”
“Yep. Me and you. An actual date.” Chase couldn’t stop grinning. “Just think about it—it’s perfect, really. How often do you get a chance to go back and make a different choice? This is that chance, Ben.”
Ben’s eyes narrowed and for a split-second, Chase thought he might say no—or maybe just laugh it off as a ridiculous suggestion.
And maybe it was sort of ridiculous, but it really could be the best way to spend a couple of weeks.
“That’s really something you’d want to do?” Ben asked, looking and sounding cautiously optimistic. “You’re saying you really wanna go on a real date? With me?”
Chase knew he was basically agreeing at this point, but he wanted to make sure Ben was fully on board before he got too excited.
“I really do,” Chase repeated. “Just think of it this way—we’re already friends, right? Really good friends. Best friends… right?”
Ben nodded immediately. “Right. Of course.”
“This will be like the best of both worlds.” Chase started talking faster, getting more into the idea with each word. “It’ll be better than just friends—even better than friends with benefits—because you mean more to me than that. But it won’t come with all the baggage and regular dating shit, because there’s a hard time limit on the whole thing. It can’t be anything more, so we don’t have to worry about it turning into something like that.”
If there was a downside, Chase wasn’t seeing it. And sure, there was a small chance that it might not work out, but he and Ben were grown men and great friends. Chase had no doubt that if any issues came up, the two of them would be able to sort things out.
“It sounds almost too good to be true when you say it like that,” Ben said. “But… okay. If you want to give this a shot, I’m on board. I mean… what’s the worst that can happen, right? There is one rule I’m going to insist on, th
ough.”
“Sure,” Chase grinned. He was practically bouncing up and down with excitement. This was really going to happen. “Anything. Just tell me what you want and I’ll make it happen.”
“I just want to make sure we’re both clear on this,” Ben said. “If we go on a date—and especially if we go on more than one date—I think we have to remember that we’re not dating. At the end of this, we still have to be friends. I want to go along with this crazy idea because I do think we’ll have fun, and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t curious about how things might have turned out, but… I don’t want to do any of it if there’s a chance I might lose your friendship.”
Chase took another step closer, closing the distance between them. He put his hands on Ben’s shoulders and looked directly into his eyes. It was reassuring to know that Ben valued their friendship above anything else that might happen between them, even after all of these years apart.
And it only confirmed in Chase’s mind that they were onto something good, because he felt the exact same way.
“Absolutely,” Chase nodded. “The last thing I would want to do is fuck things up with our friendship. But I don’t think that will happen. I know it won’t happen, because we won’t let it. There’s no pressure here, Ben. We’re just two guys having fun, living in the moment and not worrying about tomorrow. That’s how I always try to live my life, and I promise you it can be amazing if you give it a chance.”
“Okay,” Ben said, finally smiling as widely as Chase had ever seen. “Okay. I’m with you on this. Let’s do it.”
“Seriously?” Chase asked, not because he doubted Ben’s words, but because he just wanted to hear it again.
“Seriously,” Ben confirmed. “I’m all in. And I think you’re right. I think it could be really fun. So… what now?”
“How about dinner tomorrow night? Maybe a movie, too?” Chase moved his hands down Ben’s arms, trying not to let himself get too distracted by the tight muscles he felt there. Things he would never even notice on another guy were suddenly sexy as hell when it came to Ben. “We could drive over to Joplin, make a night of it if you want.”