by Avery Ford
“Are you sure,” Neil asked, finally.
Chase cocked his head to the side and looked at his father. He wasn’t even sure what the man was asking. Was he sure… about what?
“Of course he’s sure,” Patricia snapped, shooting her husband an irritated look. “Don’t you know that tone of voice by now, Neil? It’s the same one he used when he told us he was joining the Marines. This is really happening.”
Chase’s dad exhaled loudly, and it looked as if he was actually deflating a little. Chase was nearly certain that the first thought that came to his dad’s mind had been about grandchildren.
But whatever. That didn’t matter right now.
“I’m happy for you, dear,” his mom said, simply. “Your father and I are both happy for you.”
Now it was Chase’s turn to be shocked. “You… are?” he asked, looking from her to his dad. “Are you sure?”
The fact that he was repeating the same nonsensical question his dad had just asked wasn’t lost on Chase, but he literally had no other words. It felt like everything he’d ever known had just been turned on its head.
“We are,” she said, and even his dad was slowly nodding, though he didn’t seem quite as certain as she did. “All we’ve ever wanted was for you to be happy, Chase. And if Ben Harper makes you happy, then I couldn’t think of a better person for you to date. We’ve known him practically all his life, and I honestly think he might be the one person in the world who could get you to settle down a little.”
Chase laughed. He couldn’t help it. Even though it was one of the weirdest, most dramatic moments of his entire life, his mom’s pragmatic side had won the day. It apparently didn’t matter so much to her whether Ben dated a guy or another girl, just long as he settled in and put down roots somewhere.
“Your mother is right,” Neil said, shocking the hell out of Chase again. “It may not seem like it all the time, but we really do want what’s best for you. And even I can see that look you get on your face whenever you talk about Ben.”
“What look?” Chase asked, curious as to how long he’d been giving away his own secret.
“The one that says you’re in love, dear,” his mom answered for both of them, then stood up and closed the distance between them to give him a hug. “And we love that look. Truly.”
Chase hugged her back and had to blink hard to keep the tears that were suddenly welling up from spilling over. How had this conversation even started?
It was literally the last thing he had wanted to discuss with his parents, ever.
And then, somehow, it had turned into the best conversation they’d ever shared.
Chapter 22
Ben
Ben shifted uncomfortably in his chair as he waited for Carlos to finish pulling out papers from his briefcase. There was already a stack of forms in front of him that he had no hope of understanding, and Carlos was steadily adding to the growing pile.
Sitting next to him, Eric was tapping his foot against the leg of the conference table, clearly sharing Ben’s anxiety over the whole situation.
Across from them both was the man who would be buying the ranch, Mr. Greg Peterson.
For days, Ben had tried to put together a mental picture of the man who would be taking over the place. Was he nice? Did he have a family? Would he put the same kind of care and dedication into the land and the animals as Ben’s family had done for generations?
Ben couldn’t tell any of that just from looking at the guy, of course. But if Ben had to guess, he was gonna go with a big, fat nope.
There was just something about the guy that seemed a little… unsavory. His smile was a little too practiced, and it didn’t even come close to reaching his eyes. And the way he kept watching Ben and Eric?
It reminded Ben of a wolf. A wolf that was on the hunt.
“Just a few more papers and we’ll be ready to begin,” Carlos said, flashing a nervous smile in Ben’s direction. “I just want to make sure everything is in order here.”
It occurred to Ben that this was probably the biggest deal Carlos had ever done—particularly since Mr. Peterson was offering cash to speed the process along.
Which was fine. The sooner they could wrap this up, the better. Then maybe Ben could move on with his life. His new life, with Chase.
“It’s a fine piece of land you boys have out there,” Greg said, with his toothy smile and his calculating eyes. “It’s not every day that we get the chance to grab that kind of prime acreage for our operation. And right outside of town, too. It’s just right for the kind of facility I have in mind.”
“Facility?” Eric asked. “What does that mean?”
Ben leaned in, curious about the answer. He was glad Eric had asked, since he had the same question.
“We’ve got a rather large operation,” the man said, beaming with pride as he rubbed his hands together. “Several thousand head of dairy cows that will require a big, state of the art facility. I have to say, it’s a pretty impressive sight to see once it’s all up and running.”
“Several thousand cows?” Ben asked, his brow furrowing. Something wasn’t adding up. “In a… facility? I don’t follow…”
“He’s talking about a factory farm, Ben,” Eric said, his voice low.
Ben’s face fell and his stomach clenched so tightly he winced. Of all the things Ben had in mind, he hadn’t even considered that his family’s ranch would be used for something like that.
He could practically hear his parents and grandparents shouting at him from the grave.
His throat was dry, and now all three men were watching him, waiting for his reaction.
“I, um…” he swallowed hard and cleared his throat. “I need a minute, please. Eric—” Ben jerked his head in the direction of the door. “We’ll be right back, guys.”
Carlos shook his head as a look of panic crept across his face. “But we’re ready to sign paperwork here, Ben. Maybe you and Eric can talk after we’re done?”
Ben was already moving toward the door. “I’m sorry, Carlos. This will just take a minute.”
He didn’t wait for another reply. He was afraid he might not be able to keep his cool if he stayed in that room for one more minute.
“What the fuck?” Eric hissed as soon as they were out in the narrow hallway. “I hope to hell you didn’t know about any of this.”
“Are you kidding?” Ben felt his eyes go wide as his hot streak of anger surged through him. “You think I would have agreed to sell our ranch to a factory farm? The very thing Daddy always said he would never, ever do?”
Eric was silent for a moment, but finally shook his head. “No… no, I don’t believe you would do that. But that doesn’t change the fact that it’s happened anyway.” Eric slammed a hand against the door frame. “Dammit, Ben. What the fuck are we gonna do now?”
“I don’t know,” Ben snapped. “It’s just as much your decision as it is mine. I was finally on board with selling, even though I have to say I was having second thoughts about that, too. But I didn’t think I’d be selling out like this. This goes against everything we were raised to do, to believe in.”
“I don’t think I can do it,” Eric said, simply. “I’m sorry, Ben. I know this was your ticket to New York, but—”
“Stop,” Ben said, holding up a hand. “I can’t talk about that right now. Let’s deal with one problem at a time, okay?”
Ben felt like he might pass out. Or throw up. Or both.
He felt scammed, even though that really wasn’t the case. Everything was just moving too quickly for anyone to ask the right questions. But now that the truth had come out, he didn’t really see any way they could salvage this deal. Neither of them wanted to sell to this guy, not for any amount of money.
And as painful as it was, doing the right thing was more important than cashing a check. More important than New York.
Ben leaned against the door frame for a moment to steady himself. Did this mean he was giving up on Chase? On love?
/>
No. That wasn’t something he could think about right now.
He could only handle one crisis at a time, just like he’d told Eric.
“So?” Eric asked, placing a hand on Ben’s shoulder. “Do we agree?”
Ben closed his eyes for a moment, then inhaled and exhaled slowly. Everything had been so perfect. The stars had all aligned time after time since Chase had come home.
And now it was all falling apart right in front of Ben’s eyes. Worse, the whole fucked-up mess was of Ben’s own making. He could have stopped everything from getting out of hand at any time just by slowing down and saying no.
Now everything was wrong and he didn’t know if he could fix any of it. But he had to start somewhere, and selling the ranch to Mr. Greg Peterson just wasn’t an option.
Ben straightened up and rolled his shoulders back as he reached for the door handle. He looked at Eric and nodded. “This deal can’t happen. Let’s shut it down.”
The drive from the realtor’s office to Chase’s house was the longest, hardest trip Ben had ever made. He felt like he was a dead man walking, like all the color had drained from his life in the blink of an eye.
He hated that it had come to this. He hated that there was no good alternative.
He hated the fact that no matter what he said when he got there, he was going to end up hurting Chase.
Ben dashed at his cheeks with the palm of his hand as he pulled into the driveway of Chase’s parents’ house. It had been just a few days before when Ben had walked through that doorway full of bubbling excitement and ridiculous thoughts of poetic justice.
The universe was certainly having a laugh at his expense now.
For the millionth time in the past half-hour, Ben tried to think of a way that things could still turn out okay. For the millionth time, he came up empty.
With a heavy sigh, he opened the door and got out of his truck. He’d made this mess himself. Now it was time to pay the price for trying to live in a fantasy land.
This is why I don’t do impractical things. I should have seen this coming a mile away. It really was too good to be true.
He stood at the door for at least a solid minute before he worked up the courage to knock. He should probably be crying by now, but he was simply too numb. The pain would come later, no doubt. But for now he couldn’t feel anything except an empty hole where his heart was supposed to be.
The door swung open and Patricia Carpenter did a double-take, then smiled. “Ben, it’s so good to see you,” she held the door open for him. “Please come in. I assume you’re here to see Chase.”
“Yes, ma’am,” Ben said, trying but failing to return the smile. He just couldn’t bring himself to do it. “If he’s able to talk, I’d appreciate it.”
“Of course, dear.” She turned and called for Chase from the bottom of the staircase, then settled her attention back on Ben. “Chase told us you’re planning on moving to New York. That has to be exciting, right?”
Ben’s mind was a jumble of thoughts and emotions, and he briefly wondered what, exactly, Chase had told his parents before realizing it didn’t matter anymore. Ben didn’t even have the strength to come up with a decent lie.
“I, um…” he cleared his throat. “I won’t be moving to New York after all, Mrs. Carpenter.”
“What?” The voice was Chase’s as he came around the corner from upstairs and turned his attention to his mother. “Mom, could you please excuse us for a second?”
Patricia looked confused and more than a little alarmed, but she nodded and backed away, giving the two of them one more bewildered look before turning and disappearing from sight.
“Chase—” Ben began, but the words got stuck in his throat.
“Shh, Ben,” Chase wrapped his arms tightly around him, making Ben feel even worse for what he was about to say. “What’s the matter? What happened? Did I hear you right? About New York?”
“I’m sorry, Chase,” Ben shook his head against Chase’s shoulder before taking a step back and breaking their embrace. “I swear that I really wanted to… I—I thought it was a done deal… and then, this morning, at the realtor’s office…” Ben took a ragged breath and used every bit of self-control he had left to keep himself from crying. “The deal fell through, Chase. The man wanted to turn our ranch into a factory farm. Eric and I just couldn’t let that happen. Please don’t hate me. I never meant for this to get so… so out of hand.”
Chase put his hands on Ben’s shoulders and looked him in the eyes. “I will never hate you, Ben Harper. That was a lot to take in all at once, so you’re gonna have to give me a second to catch up, okay?”
“Okay,” Ben sniffled and swiped at his eyes. Not going to cry. Not. Going. To. Cry. “I’m sorry, Chase.”
He knew he was just repeating himself at that point, and that he needed to get out of there before he turned into a blubbering mess, but he couldn’t leave Chase standing there like that, looking confused and worried.
“So… you weren’t able to sell the ranch yet? Is that what all of that means?” Chase’s expression had clouded over slightly, but he didn’t sound as upset as Ben had feared. Yet. “Try not to let it get you down, Ben. I know it’s a setback, but there will be other buyers, I’m sure. What did Carlos say?”
“I don’t think Carlos will want to help me again,” Ben confessed. “It got kind of ugly. And… and I don’t think that I’ll find another buyer, Chase. I’m not putting the ranch up for sale again. I just… I can’t.”
Ben watched as the words sank in. He could actually see the recognition dawn on Chase that this was more than just a minor setback.
This was major.
“What does that mean?” Chase asked, his voice barely above a whisper. “What are you saying?”
“I can’t go to New York with you, Chase.” Ben’s voice broke when he said Chase’s name, and that cold, clammy feeling of nausea washed over him again. “I promised my dad a long time ago that I’d take care of that ranch. I promised my brother the same thing. This is my home, Chase, and…” He swallowed hard. God, this was the hardest thing he’d ever had to do. “And I should have never let things get so out of hand. I’m sorry… so, so sorry for all of this. I hope you can forgive me someday.”
Chase took a step back and leaned heavily against the wall. He wouldn’t even look Ben in the eye anymore.
It was over.
Ben’s vision blurred from the tears that were starting to roll down his cheeks, and he turned to reach for the door, nearly stumbling backward as he tried to get out of the house.
It was killing him to see Chase looking so hurt and stunned and vulnerable. It was killing Ben knowing that he’d caused all of it.
“I have to go,” Ben murmured as he cleared the doorway. “Be careful on your trip.”
Chase’s eyes met his for a split-second before looking away again, and the pain Ben saw there nearly knocked him off his feet. He had to get out.
Now.
Without another word or another look back, he ran to his truck. He could barely see through the tears that were falling, but he didn’t care.
He felt completely broken.
It would be a long time before anything else mattered again.
Chapter 23
Chase
“Chase, honey?” His mom knocked on the bedroom door, her voice heavy with concern. “Chase? Will you answer me, please?”
It had been an hour since Ben left.
Maybe.
Or maybe it had only been a few minutes.
Maybe it had been a whole damn week. Chase didn’t know and couldn’t be bothered to care. He was moving mechanically, folding clothes and putting them in his suitcase only to unfold them and start over as his mind replayed their conversation over and over.
And over. And over.
“Chase, I know you’re upset, but let me help you.” Her voice was getting more high-pitched with each word. “Please unlock the door right now, Chase. If I need to get your father
to break it down, I’ll do it. I swear I will.”
He slowly walked across the room and unlocked the door, barely moving out of the way in time as his mother came barreling through.
“Oh, thank God,” she grabbed his arm and reached up to put a hand against his cheek, as if she was making sure he was still in one piece. “You had me so worried when you didn’t say anything. I didn’t know what to think. All I knew was that Ben left looking sad, and I wasn’t really listening to your conversation, but what I accidentally heard didn’t make any sense at all…”
Chase knew he should be paying attention to what she was saying, but she was talking so quickly and his brain was still so stuck on Ben that gave up trying to focus after a minute. Maybe she would tire herself out by rambling and leave him to finish packing in peace.
One thing was for certain. If she expected him to talk about Ben after what had just happened, she was going to be very disappointed.
He couldn’t even make sense of what had happened himself, and he’d been right in the thick of it.
One minute, everything had been great—had been perfect, actually.
The next minute, it had been over.
“I can’t do this right now, Mom,” Chase said, finally. “I’m sorry. I just don’t wanna talk about it, okay?”
“Of course, dear,” she said, patting his arm. “I understand.”
But instead of leaving and closing the door behind her like Chase had hoped would happen, she simply sat down on the bed and watched him as he continued methodically folding and unfolding clothes.
He wasn’t even sure what he was doing. Was he having some sort of episode? A mental breakdown? All he knew was that as long as his hands were busy, he could pretend to be calm for just a little longer.
“Are you still planning on going to New York?” she asked.