He touches my face, his eyes sweeping over me like they did the first night he told me he wanted me. The night everything changed.
My breath quickens again.
“Kylie,” he says, his voice gravelly. Before I know what’s happening, he takes my hands in his and sinks down onto one knee.
My eyes widen and my mouth drops open, my breath catching in my throat. He can’t be—
“I love you, baby girl. Always have. I’m yours, and I want you to be mine, forever.” He reaches into his inside pocket and pulls something out, pinched between his thumb and two fingers.
A ring.
I clamp my hand over my mouth.
He smiles—that brain-melting smile that makes me forget where I am, that sucks all the oxygen from the air. “What do you say, Ky? Will you marry me?”
I meet his eyes. He’s so open, so honest. Holding nothing back.
My eyes tear up again, but it’s laughter that escapes my lips.
“Yes,” I say, though I can hardly get the word out. I’m smiling and laughing and crying all at once.
He stands, wrapping his arms around me, and lifts me off my feet. My face is even with his, and he kisses me, his lips like silk. People around us clap and cheer, and I’m pretty sure I see the flash of a few cameras. He sets me down and takes my left hand. He meets my eyes while he slips the ring on my finger.
“There,” he says, his voice soft. “Now you’re mine forever.”
Selene plucks the glass of champagne from my hand. “You can’t get drunk before your wedding.”
I laugh. “I’m not getting drunk. I’ve had one glass.”
She smiles and goes back to putting on my eyeliner. “Well, you’re making it hard for me to do your makeup.”
I hold still, looking down while she smudges the eyeliner with her finger. I haven’t put on my dress yet, but my hair is done, falling in loose waves around my shoulders. I didn’t want anything too formal but the hairstylist was amazing. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so beautiful.
Selene puts a coat of mascara on my eyelashes, then stops, inspecting her handiwork. She brushes something from beneath my eyes. “There. You look…” She trails off, and her expression changes. Her brow creases; her eyes fill with tears.
“Stop it,” I say, smacking her on the arm. “You have to quit crying or I’m going to mess up my makeup.”
She puts her hand to her mouth. “I’m sorry, Kylie, I just can’t help it. You look so beautiful, and you’re marrying my brother, and that means…”
I pull her in for a hug. “We’ve always been sisters, babe,” I say quietly into her ear.
“I love you.”
I bite my lip so I won’t cry. “I love you, too.”
Selene takes a deep breath. “Okay, sorry. I’ll stop. Let’s get you dressed.”
She helps me into my gown. It’s strapless and sleek, with just enough beading on the bodice to give it a little sparkle. I move my hair aside so Selene can zip it up the back.
Ellen, the wedding coordinator, pokes her head in through the door. “Almost ready?”
“Yeah,” I say.
Selene smiles at me again. She looks fabulous in a silver off-the-shoulder floor-length gown. Her dark hair is pinned up, with a few loose tendrils hanging down.
“Great, we’re just waiting on the groom,” Ellen says and closes the door.
I look at Selene in alarm. “Waiting on the groom? He’s not here?”
“Don’t panic,” Selene says with a laugh. “He probably just left his tie at home or something.”
I was already nervous, but a renewed tingle of fear runs through me. There’s no way Braxton wouldn’t show. I saw him yesterday for the rehearsal, and he didn’t even seem nervous.
“He should have been here an hour ago,” I say.
“I’ll text him,” Selene says and picks up her phone.
I chew on my lower lip and look away.
“Ky,” Selene says. “You can’t be worried he isn’t coming. He’s more excited about this than anyone—maybe even you.”
She’s absolutely right. I tried to talk Braxton into waiting until next New Year’s Eve to get married—because how romantic would that be?—but he wouldn’t even consider it. He wanted the earliest date possible. If it wasn’t for my dad, he probably would have taken me to a courthouse as soon as we got back from London. But we both knew my dad wanted to be a part of this. So we planned an April wedding, throwing it together on short notice. It wasn’t too hard. Neither of us have much family; it’s mostly just the three of us and my dad. We invited some friends, but it’s going to be small and intimate.
“I know,” I say. “But what if something happened to him?”
“He’s a guy,” Selene says. “He probably figured he could leave ten minutes before the wedding started and now he’s stuck in traffic.”
Ellen opens the door again. “Kylie, can you come out and take a few pictures with your dad? He’s out here waiting for you.”
I take a deep breath, trying to relax, and grab my bouquet. Selene and I come out of the small room we were using to get ready. We were lucky enough to book a classy little boutique hotel in downtown Seattle. The guests are already seated one of the smaller banquet rooms where we’re having both the ceremony and a cocktail reception.
I see my dad waiting in the hallway. He turns his chair around and his face breaks into a wide smile.
He takes my hand. “Kylie, you look beautiful.”
“Thanks,” I say, and swallow hard to keep from tearing up again. He’s dressed in a gray suit with a silver tie. “You look great, too.” Even seated in his chair, he looks so handsome.
The photographer takes a few pictures of the two of us. I notice Ellen lingering near the entrance to the banquet room where our guests are waiting. She looks at her watch repeatedly.
Fuck, where is he?
I turn to Selene. “Has he texted yet?”
“Crap,” she says. “I left my phone in the other room.”
“Who are you looking for?” Dad asks.
“Braxton,” I say. “He’s not here yet.”
Dad shakes his head. “Oh, no, he—”
“Did someone order a groom?”
I turn to find Braxton walking toward us, a sly smile on his face.
I almost drop my flowers. He looks exquisite in a slate gray suit and silver tie, his stubble trimmed perfectly. I don’t think the day will ever come when that man doesn’t take my breath away. He’s gorgeous.
His eyes come to rest on me, and he stops in his tracks, putting a hand to his chest. “Holy shit, Kylie. You’re stunning.”
“Brax,” Selene says with a laugh, “you’re not supposed to see her yet. It’s the rules.”
“I don’t like rules,” he says. He comes toward me, his eyes never leaving mine, and leans down to kiss me lightly on the lips.
“You’re late,” I say.
“I know.” He kisses my nose.
I laugh. “You need to get in there. Our wedding is about to start.”
He glances at my dad. “Actually,” he says, “there’s a slight change of plans.”
“What do you mean?”
“Are we ready?” Ellen asks, her voice bright. “Come on, over here, everyone.” She ushers us toward the double doors that lead to the banquet room, and gestures for Selene to stand in front.
“Wait, we can’t start yet,” I say. “Braxton, you’re supposed to be in there. We rehearsed this.”
Ellen opens the doors and Selene walks in.
Braxton produces a silver cane and hands it to my dad. “Like I said, change of plans. You ready for this, Mr. Winters?”
My dad takes the cane and plants it on the floor. Braxton takes his arm and helps him stand.
My mouth drops open. “Dad.”
“Are you steady?” Braxton asks.
My dad straightens his back, standing tall. My eyes fill with tears. I haven’t seen my dad stand in over a year.
“
Dad, how did you do that?”
He smiles. “I’ve been working with Braxton on my strength. I wanted to be able to walk my little girl down the aisle.” He holds his arm out for me.
“Oh, Dad.” I take a shuddering breath and tuck my hand in the crook of his elbow.
Braxton puts his hand on my arm. “Sorry I was late, baby girl. I had to go get his cane. I need to walk in with you in case he needs help. Is that okay?”
“Of course it’s okay,” I say, trying very hard not to let more tears spill down my cheeks.
Ellen gestures again, and the three of us start down the aisle. I keep my hand on my dad’s arm, and he leans on his cane. Braxton walks on his other side.
I’m so overwhelmed, I’m not sure how I make it up the aisle.
When we reach the front, Dad turns to me. He has tears in his eyes and all hope of not ruining my makeup is gone. “I love you, sweetheart.”
“I love you too, Dad.” I hug him, careful not to make him lose his balance.
Braxton keeps him steady with a hand on his arm. Dad pulls away. Braxton still has his hand on Dad’s arm, and Dad places his hand over the top of Braxton’s. “Thank you, son.”
Braxton’s eyes glisten. He blows out a breath and smiles, wrapping my dad in a gentle hug. Dad’s nurse has his chair ready for him, and he takes careful steps to the side and sits down.
I hand my flowers to Selene, and Braxton stands in front of me. He takes my hands, his eyes never leaving mine. I’m vaguely aware of the officiant speaking, and I know there’s a small group of people watching from their seats, but it all falls away. Braxton is everything.
Our vows are simple, and I say mine first, looking up into his eyes. When it’s Braxton’s turn, he shifts closer, his face tilted toward mine. His words are only for me.
“I, Braxton Taylor, take you, Kylie Winters to be my wife. I promise to love you, honor you, and cherish you from this day forward.” He places one hand alongside my face, swiping away a tear with his thumb. “I love you, Ky. I always have. I want nothing more than to be yours for the rest of my life.”
I take a trembling breath and smile up at him.
I hear the officiant say the words—“By the power vested in me by the state of Washington, I now pronounce you man and wife.”—but I don’t see anything but Braxton.
I think he’s supposed to say you may kiss the bride, but Braxton doesn’t wait.
He slips his hand around to the back of my head, threading his fingers through my hair, and brings his mouth to mine. He holds nothing back, kissing me with all the passion I’ve ever felt from him. His tongue caresses mine with tenderness, lighting me up inside. I melt into him, feeling his strength, his warmth. He’s always been my rock, my safety, my soft place to land. His hands are steady and strong, his lips so soft against mine.
He pulls away and hesitates, his nose brushing against mine. My eyes flutter open, and he smiles. Our little crowd of guests clap, and I think we’re supposed to walk back down the aisle now, but he surges in again, kissing me hard. I wrap my arms around his neck and he lifts me up off my feet, holding me tight against him. I’m so light, I could almost fly.
He’s here. He’s real. He’s everything.
Always.
~~~
Her brother married her best friend, but can Selene find true love? Always Will is coming in November!
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About the Book
Sometimes a story comes out of nowhere and knocks me upside the head and won’t leave me alone until I write it. It doesn’t happen very often, but when it does, it’s creative gold.
ALWAYS HAVE was that story. There were times when I’d wake up in the middle of the night with words knocking around in my brain, and I’d have to get up and write so I could go back to sleep. I remember wandering through the grocery store one day, my head so full of these characters, it took me twice as long to get my shopping done because I had such a hard time focusing on reality.
Okay, the not focused on reality part is kind of me all the time. But when I was writing this book, it was really bad.
Braxton and Kylie became so real to me. That generally happens with my characters—the heroes and heroines from my Jetty Beach series feel very real. But Brax and Ky took that up a notch. I’m not sure why. I FELT them, deep in my bones, in my soul.
That’s made releasing this book to the public a strangely emotional experience. Writing romance is an exercise in opening yourself up—in feeling things very deeply and sharing those things in the form of a story. And this book made me FEEL. I hope it came across on the page, and I suppose the reality is, some people will feel it the way I did, and others won’t. That’s just how it goes. But for those who felt it—who laughed and cried along with Brax and Ky—know that I felt it too. Every bit of this story, every emotion, was real and raw and beautiful for me.
So where did it come from?
I had this idea about a trio—a brother and sister, and their best friend. What if (my ideas usually start with what if questions) the brother was in love with the best friend. And what if he’d loved her ever since he could remember, and he was kind of tortured by being just friends. And, what if he was devastatingly hot and had no trouble getting women, leading to his (well-deserved at this point) reputation as a player. But the only woman he really wanted was RIGHT THERE, and he couldn’t have her. Oh yes, I like him already.
I wanted to write about a man who’s kind of a bad boy—obviously not the dark, dangerous bad boy (there are lots of amazing authors who write that kind of hero far better than I could). But a bad boy who’s a player. Hot, fun, confident—but he’s not the guy you can date and think he’s going to stick around. What made him interesting to me was why. Why would he be like that? I wanted it to be much deeper than “he can get away with it, so he does.” Sure, he’s gorgeous and likes to be naughty. But men can be gorgeous and naughty without leaving a long string of broken hearts in their wake.
But the things in his life that made him who he is when the story begins fit perfectly with the story I was envisioning. It’s all about Kylie. He’s never loved anyone else, and no one else will ever compare. But hell, he’s a guy, and from a young age he had girls falling all over him. So he’d try one out—take her out, sleep with her, whatever. She wasn’t Kylie. So he’d move on. After that kept happening, people in his life saw him a certain way. Oh sure, that’s just Braxton. He’s such a player. He loves hot women, but nothing lasts.
He lives that way for a long time, wearing the mask. Being the guy he thinks “his girls” need him to be. The man underneath was who really got to me as I was writing Braxton. He is fun and a little cocky. But he was also deeply wounded when his parents died, and he’s spent his entire life hiding that part of himself. He shows his true self to Kylie in bits and pieces—tiny glimpses she’s not sure how to interpret. There’s a depth to him that she doesn’t expect, and it disarms her every time. He wants to let her in so badly, and we see him try a little here and there.
Kylie’s loved Braxton for as long as he’s loved her, but she keeps that buried deep inside, not even acknowledging it to herself. It feels too dangerous to her, and who can blame her? She’s seen him go through a lot of women, and she assumes that’s just how he is.
In a lot of ways, Brax and Ky are already halfway to being a couple at the beginning of the book. They know all those little things about each other that couples would know. They have a comfort level with each other that is the result of years of friendship, and it skirts the very edge of something more. Ordering for each other at restaurants. Sharing food off each other’s plates. Passing a cup of coffee back and forth without even thinking about it. I added moments like that very much on purpose. The characters don’t think much of it, so as a reader, it might not have stuck out. Kylie doesn’t protest when Braxton takes her coffee out of her hand and drinks it, for example. H
e hands it back and she drinks some, because it’s something they would do all the time. Tiny moments like that were designed to show that they’re so comfortable with each other, they do things that usually only romantic couples will do.
No wonder their dates never feel comfortable with their friendship…
Kylie wants something real. She feels like she’s outgrowing her let’s party life and wants to be with someone who has potential for a future. She has a good relationship with her father, and he taught her a lot about how she should be treated, simply by example. But she still has a hole left by her mother. She feels hurt and abandoned, and what she wants more than anything is the security of being loved. Despite what happened between her parents, she doesn’t question the idea of love. She just doesn’t see it right in front of her, in the form of her best friend.
This book, for me, was about highs and lows. Writing it was very much a roller coaster. The highs are pretty high. Braxton is desperately in love with her, and I was rooting for him to be with her from the beginning. Kylie’s self-revelation that she’s in love with him only made my desire to bring them together stronger. And when they do finally take that step—when Braxton’s greatest wish becomes reality—OMG, the high. He’s so happy. She’s so happy. It’s all so good and wonderful and did you maybe want to stop reading right about there?
The first time I had to take a break and breathe through my emotions as I wrote was when Brax lied to Selene about being with Kylie. I literally got up and paced around the room a few times, thinking, “Damn it Brax. Don’t do it. This is going to be so baaaaad later.” (And yes, I realize it’s weird that I do things like that. I’m the one writing it, and it all only exists in my head at that point. Whatever. I’m okay with it.)
And when it came time to write the big crisis—the moment when Braxton breaks up with Kylie? Fucking hell, it was hard to write. I didn’t want it to happen.
But that’s what I mean about highs and lows. The highs made the lows harder, but ultimately it made the ending more satisfying.
Always Have: (Bad Boy Romance) Page 19