by Peter Nelson
“It’s just a nasty-smelling pool of stinky glop,” he said to himself. “If that’s what that weird old dude wants in exchange for Eldon, he can have it.”
Jordan dipped the mouth of his hot-water bottle into the Puddle of Ripeness. Glorp-glorp-glorp—the green goo oozed into the large rubber container. Once it was filled, Jordan secured the top, then snuck back out of the cypress grove, and headed straight for the boathouse.
27
Jordan found both the old boathouse, as well as the boats inside, unlocked. The security system protecting the Creature Keepers’ only modes of transportation appeared to be their appearance—both the glass-bottom tour boat and the rickety fan boat looked like death traps. No sane person would ever take them out on open water.
Moments later, zooming across Ponce de Leon Bay in the rattling fan boat, on his way to deliver a big rubber bag filled with smelly goo beneath his seat to a crazy old man who’d kidnapped his friend, Jordan thought to himself, Yep. No sane person would ever do this.
The fan boat was much faster than the Grimsley Family Rambler, a lot louder than the old seaplane, and harder to control than a lassoed jackalope tearing across the desert sand.
Jordan knew he was disobeying Bernard. But he also knew that when he returned with Eldon at his side, he’d be welcomed as a hero. Of course, first he’d have to make the exchange. The old man was most definitely bonkers, and possibly dangerous. But his boss, this mysterious Gusto person, sounded worse. The old man wanted the Puddle of Ripeness, and Jordan was happy to give it to him in exchange for Eldon. But given what he’d overheard, Gusto wanted something more. Gusto was upset the old man had let Jordan go. Skimming across Ponce de Leon Bay, Jordan couldn’t think why Gusto would want him. He’d have to be very careful.
He gunned the engine and tilted the mop handle joystick, steering the fan boat up the swampy coast toward Lost Man’s Cove. The crypto-zoo sat in the distance, much more visible in the daylight but still camouflaged against the green background of the swamp.
As the side of the crypto-zoo loomed close, Jordan quickly realized something that had escaped his attention when he had quickly figured out how to operate a fan boat: fan boats have no brakes. He cut the engine and grabbed the stick with both hands. Shutting his eyes, he jerked it to the left with all his might. The fan boat fishtailed, nearly toppling over, spraying a wall of water as it skittered sideways, blasting the tall, green wall of the crypto-zoo with a wave of mucky mud before coming to a backward stop and slamming into the base of the building with a wump.
“So much for the element of surprise,” he said to himself as he climbed off the boat and walked to front of the building.
BANG! BANG! BANG! Jordan pounded on the wall. After his noisy entrance, there was no point in being discreet. “Stinky goop delivery! Bring out Eldon and it’s all yours!”
A hissing noise sounded from above his head and a drawbridge-like door lowered from the top of the wall, forming a ramp. Jordan entered what he assumed was the welcome lobby of this strange tourist attraction. At the foot of a short staircase was a glass display and gift shop showcasing Loch Ness Monster merchandise: little stuffed Nessie dolls, coffee mugs, T-shirts, snow globes, and novelty pens. Each item sported the Quisling’s Zoopendous Crypto-Zoo logo. The sight of it made Jordan feel a little sick to his stomach. And very angry.
There were no other doors or stairs except for the short steps leading up to a sealed, vaultlike door with a fogged-up window. A sign read AUTHORIZED ACCESS ONLY. Jordan slowly turned the lock and pulled open the heavy door. Hissssss . . . Warm, moist air rushed out, and Jordan could immediately smell the mossy funk of the humid dome room inside. He knew this could be a trap. He knew there was a strange creature in there. But he also knew Eldon was in trouble. He stepped into the foggy mist.
Squeeeeeeeee . . . The high-pitched crying sounded less piercing than before. It was quieter—more like an animal suffering. He thought of Eldon and how he had wanted to go back and help it. Jordan stepped in the direction of the sound, his feet sinking slightly into the mossy floor.
The morning Florida sun was now baking the glass bubble dome, making the air trapped inside thick and sticky. Jordan suddenly realized what this place reminded him of—Chunk’s molting tank, which Abbie used to help her pet iguana shed his skin. Maybe the strange creature kept in here was some kind of horrible lizard. A giant Gila monster, or Komodo dragon. If that was what ended up eating him, at least his sister would be impressed.
Squeeeeeeeee . . .
Whatever it was, the wheezing beast’s cry now sounded more like a cry for help. And it was coming, quite clearly, from a shadowy rock formation Jordan could make out through the fog. The rocks formed a shallow cave, like in a lion or bear enclosure in a proper zoo. Jordan moved closer.
Squeeeeeeee . . .
Clutching the large rubber pouch of goo, Jordan slowly rounded the rock. There was a heap of something at the base of the shallow cave, and it was sparkling in the sunlit dome. The twinkling was so powerful it cut through the fog, and Jordan thought the heap might be a pile of diamonds. Then the heap moved.
It was alive. It heaved with a squeeeeeee, then exhaled. It was roughly the size and body type of a sea lion, with flippers and a long tail, although Jordan couldn’t see its head. As he stepped closer, its long, thin neck rose up, and it turned toward him.
Squeeeeeeee . . .
Jordan gasped. As impossible as it seemed, he immediately knew what this poor creature was. A miniature Loch Ness Monster.
He rushed toward her. Her skin was covered with sparkling scales, but it was hanging loosely off her body, like an oversized coat. Her half-lidded eyes strained to meet his before closing again. She drooped her head back down and slumped over lazily. She looked like she was dying.
“Beautiful, isn’t it, Grimsley?”
Jordan recognized the deep, dark, Latino-accented voice behind him, and spun around. Leaning casually against a rock was a tall, thin man in a long, black trench coat. His black eyes flashed, reflecting the twinkling scales of the creature lying before them. “And it should make a perfect fit, don’t you think?”
Jordan stood between Gusto and the sick cryptid lying just inside the small cave. “What have you done to Nessie? And where’s Eldon?” He held up the Puddle of Ripeness. “I brought what you asked for. Take it, and let me leave. With both of them.”
“I don’t recall asking you for anything.” The strange man furrowed his brow. “As for the both of them, I have a better idea. You give me the Puddle of Ripeness, and I’ll release either your friend—or the cryptid. Choose, Grimsley.”
“No!” A voice rang out from inside the cave. The fur-suited crazy old man reached over Nessie, and snatched the satchel of goo from Jordan’s hand. He held it over the sick creature lying at his feet. “We had a deal, Gusto!”
“Quisling, you idiot!” the dark Latino snarled. “What are you doing?”
Jordan’s mind was racing. So the thin man was Areck Gusto, but why did he think this crazy old coot was thirteen-year-old Harvey Quisling?
“I’ll tell you what I’m doing, you twisted goat! This is my cryptid, my zoo, and my chance to be somebody!”
“Listen to me very carefully,” Gusto hissed. “She’s nearly shed her coat. It’s not part of her anymore. If you spill one drop, it’ll be destroyed.”
“I don’t care! I spent years taking care of a cryptid!” The old man lifted the rubber water bottle over the creature’s limp body. “It’s high time a cryptid took care of me!”
Gusto suddenly grinned. “Harvey,” he purred. “My friend, what are we doing? We’re business partners, you and I. Let’s negotiate. Give her a little longer. Once she’s shed, I’ll take her coat, and you can take the rest. You’ll open your wonderful zoo—which I paid for, I’ll humbly remind you—and you’ll take one hundred percent of the profit. All of it, I insist.”
Gusto waited for a moment as Harvey considered this. Then he leaned closer. “Or—you
can follow through with this shortsighted plan and be left with nothing but the consequences of your actions. Don’t do something we’ll both regret, Harvey. Because I promise you this—spill a drop of that goo on my Hydro-Hide, and it’ll be the last thing you ever do.”
Señor Areck Gusto’s eyes flashed as he glared at the wrinkled old man. Harvey’s pale, bony hands trembled slightly. He glanced at Jordan, then slowly lowered the water bottle.
SWOOSH! Gusto pounced. In a blur, he had the Puddle of Ripeness in one of his clawlike hands, and Harvey’s neck in the other.
“HOW DARE YOU TRY TO CROSS ME? I TOLD YOU—I DO THE THINKING AROUND HERE!” He hurled Harvey across the room, sending him tumbling in a fur-covered clump on the mossy floor. In the same swift movement, he had Jordan pinned by the neck against the wall. “And as for you, my old friend . . .” Sniff. Sniff. He tried to take in Jordan’s scent, but picked up the nasty-smelling goo in his hand instead. He looked at the rubber sack in his other hand. “Ugh. This stuff had better not work as bad as it smells. Let’s find out, shall we?” He lifted the bottle over Jordan’s head.
“What are you doing?” Jordan exclaimed, squirming in Gusto’s tight grip.
“Come now, Grimsley,” Gusto said. “You didn’t think I’d let you remain in the form of a child, did you? I’m not a monster.” He chuckled to himself. “Did you think I’d be so easily fooled? I thought you knew me better than that, Georgie boy.”
“What? George Grimsley is dead, you psycho! I’m his grandson!”
“Well, why don’t we find out? You have, after all, conveniently brought me the very thing I need to remove your disguise, forever.” Gusto tipped the bottle. Jordan struggled in his grip, straining his neck to look up and see the goo about to ooze out over his head. He shut his eyes.
SQUEEEEEEEEEE!
Nessie’s pain-filled squeal interrupted them from below. Gusto stopped and looked down at her. Harvey limped up and peeked at the miniature cryptid from behind his master’s trench coat. “It’s happening, señor. She’s molting!”
Gusto glared down at the writhing creature, then grinned as she began writhing on the mossy floor, squirming out of her shiny skin.
“No thanks to you!” Gusto shoved Harvey at Jordan, knocking them both to the ground. “We’ll finish our game later, Grimsley,” he said to Jordan. As Harvey scrambled to his feet, Gusto spoke to him, never taking his eyes off the dazzling coat of scales the creature was slithering free from. “Lock him up with his friend and leave me alone with the cryptid. NOW!”
Jordan moved toward Gusto. “I swear, if you hurt her—” He stopped short as Harvey stepped to Jordan, holding a small knife. Jordan decided not to fight the old man. If this was Harvey Quisling, could he change his age at will? He might be more dangerous than Jordan thought. Besides, by going along, he’d be able to make sure Eldon was all right. As Harvey marched him away from the cave and out of the molting dome, Jordan glanced back. The last thing he saw was Señor Areck Gusto grinning as he loomed over the helpless, terrified Loch Ness Monster.
28
Harvey marched Jordan into the chamber where Eldon was gassed, and then stepped through into his own office.
“What did you two do to her? If you really are a Creature Keeper, how could you?”
“No questions!” Harvey’s hand was trembling as he reached for a button beside the door.
“Harvey, listen to me.” Jordan stopped him from sealing off the chamber. “Gusto’s using you. I don’t know how you did it, but shrinking and kidnapping a cryptid isn’t just bad, it’s bad for business. No one will believe that sick, little, skinless reptile is the Loch Ness Monster, no matter how many T-shirts you make.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about!” Harvey rubbed his bald head.
Jordan glanced back to see if there was any movement through the window to the dome. “Think about it—there’s no way Gusto will let Nessie live after he gets her coat. And I don’t see why he’d keep us alive, either. Including you.” Harvey looked at Jordan with fear in his eyes. Jordan stared back. “We can help you, Harvey. Just let me see Eldon. He’ll know what to do.”
Harvey was mumbling to himself nervously as he thought about this. He walked to the console of buttons on his desk. He rested a finger on a button and looked up at Jordan.
“You’ll find Eldon below,” he whispered. “He’ll be coming around from the swamp-gas soon. Get him out of here.”
“You know we can’t leave here without Nessie.”
“Don’t be a fool! You don’t know how powerful Gusto is! And now with the Hydro-Hide . . .” Harvey trailed off, mumbling to himself again. “You must go. And regroup. Then come back with everything and everyone you’ve got. I’ll try to hold him off. But there isn’t much time.”
SLAM! Harvey hit the button on his desk, and Jordan dropped through the floor.
THUMP! Jordan fell, landing hard on a cold, metal surface. He stood to find himself on a large, oval platform. It was dark, but he could hear a sloshing sound. As his eyes adjusted to the darkness, he saw the platform was surrounded by water.
“Unnnh . . .”
Jordan spun around. Lying there on the platform a few yards away was Eldon, nearly conscious, but seemingly unhurt. Jordan rushed to his side.
“Eldon! Can you hear me?”
Eldon stirred, but didn’t wake. Jordan looked across the dark water surrounding their iron prison island, searching for a way out. Something caught his eye. Something moving in the water. A spiny shape surfaced and dived again. Then another. And another. “Alligators,” Jordan said. “Why did it have to be alligators?”
A loud whir echoed through the watery chamber as a section of the wall tilted inward toward Jordan, cracking the darkness with a bright sliver of daylight. The reptiles thrashed below as the wall section lowered like a drawbridge, connecting to the platform and offering a straight path to the outside. “Looks like ol’ Harvey figured out what some of those buttons are for,” Jordan said. He lifted his unresponsive friend and carried him across the bridge, over the snapping reptiles.
A moment later he was at the fan boat, strapping Eldon in. He fired up the fan, then jammed the broomstick controller forward. The fan boat lurched in the shallow water before speeding out of Lost Man’s Cove, away from the crypto-zoo.
Harvey Quisling took a deep breath before opening the hatch door to the humid molting dome. A million flashes of bright light met him as he pushed it open. He shielded his eyes, then refocused. Standing before him was Señor Areck Gusto, holding Nessie’s molted heap of sparkly, scaled skin. “Look at it, Quisling,” he breathed. “It barely weighs anything and yet—” He moved it in his arms. The scales flipped in unison, reflecting the light and forming patterns that moved through the coat. “They’re alive!”
He gently set the Hydro-Hide down and presented Harvey with a rolled-up parchment. “These are the exact specifications of what I want you to tailor for me. Do not make any mistakes or alterations, Creature Keeper, or I’ll stick you right back under the rock where I found you.”
“Yes, Señor Gusto.”
“Do a good job and we’ll forget about your recent insubordination. Now, where is Grimsley? I have some unfinished business to attend to.”
Harvey swallowed hard. He took a deep breath and looked into Gusto’s beady black eyes. “I . . . let him go. I let them both go.”
“YOU WHAT?” In a flash, Gusto’s long, bony, clawlike hands were an inch from Harvey’s face, poised to tear him apart.
“We had a deal,” Harvey said in a quivering voice. “I delivered what you wanted, and now you owe me the cryptid—alive, and in her proper proportion. Grimsley is my collateral. As long as we keep Nessie alive, Grimsley will come back for her. They all will. And when they do, I’ll get the creature, and you’ll get Grimsley.”
Señor Gusto stepped back and observed the trembling old man. His lips spread, forming a thin grin across his bony face. “I may have underestimated you, Quisling. Th
ey will come. And when they do, I will get Grimsley. But I’ll get much more. I’ll get them all!”
“And I’ll get Nessie,” Harvey reminded him. “Per our original agreement.”
Señor Areck Gusto’s expression suddenly darkened again as he gave Harvey a threatening glare. “For now, you’ll get busy making my Hydro-Hide suit. I’ll need it by nightfall. And it had better fit perfectly, Quisling. Or you and that doughy reptile in the other room will be gator bait.”
29
Jordan carried Eldon through the Okeeyuckachokee Swamp, wishing he had his grandfather’s ring to summon Bernard’s assistance.
When he finally reached the site of the hidden Creature Keeper lair, he set Eldon down and pulled on the branch. The mossy trapdoor gave way beneath them and they dropped, sliding through the dark and landing at the furry feet of Bernard, who scooped them up and hugged them before Jordan knew what was happening. Through his fur, however, he heard the muffled cheers of a roomful of kids. When the smelly beast finally set them down, there were tears in his big green eyes. He pulled back and got a look at Eldon, slumped over and still unconscious. Bernard let out a loud gasp—which was repeated by the dozens of young onlookers.
“He’s okay, just swamp-gassed,” Jordan said so they all could hear. “Still knocked out.”
Doris rushed through the crowd wearing an old-timey doctor’s stethoscope. The room fell silent as she placed it against Eldon’s chest and listened. Then she pulled it off and started barking orders. “I need three of you to go up and get me some ingredients. I’ll need black gum tree bark, hibiscus petals, greenbrier vine leaves—oh, and a bunch of Spanish moss. STAT!”
A few of the kids leaped into action, rushing from the room, while a couple of the burlier ones carried Eldon to the little recovery bed. Jordan looked at Bernard, afraid of what was going to happen next. “Bernard, I know I disobeyed you, and I’m sorry—”