For the first time, he was grateful she’d picked a comedy rather than the thriller he’d wanted to see. They’d had enough drama tonight.
Though the movie was interesting, Jay’s gaze kept drifting to Rachel. Her normally rosy complexion was pale in the dim light.
Anger surged within him at the thought of Tom laying his hands on her. Rachel was a wonderful woman, so sweet and kind.
“I’m glad you’re not with him anymore.” The heartfelt words slipped past Jay’s lips before he could stop them. Since she hadn’t brought up the altercation with Tom, he wasn’t sure she wanted to discuss it. He wasn’t even sure he wanted to talk about it.
“Me, too,” Rachel said softly. “He reminded me a lot of my father tonight.”
“You deserve much better,” Jay said fiercely, his voice shaking with emotion. “I can’t believe he hurt you.”
“I can’t believe I let him,” Rachel said with a chuckle devoid of humor. “I don’t know why I didn’t call it quits after that first incident.”
Though her behavior might have surprised others, it didn’t surprise Jay. He’d seen both sides of Tom and knew how persuasive the guy could be.
“I’m sure he said all the right things,” Jay said, remembering how angry Karen had been and how Tom had convinced her to give him another chance. “He’s a pro at stuff like that.”
“I’m just glad I didn’t marry him.” Rachel lifted her face to him. “What would I have done then?”
“You would have left him,” Jay said. “You would have gotten out. Just like Karen did.”
Rachel’s blue eyes were as clouded as a murky pond. “I never want to get a divorce.”
“That’s why you’re not marrying Tom.” Jay gave her shoulder a comforting squeeze. “You’re going to wait until the right one comes along.”
Rachel sighed. “Sometimes I wonder if there are any good men left.”
“Of course there are,” Jay said with more confidence than he felt. If he had a sister, he wouldn’t let most of the men he knew near her. Or near Rachel. “And you’ll find him. It may take a while, but it’ll happen.”
Rachel tilted her head. “You sound so sure.”
“Trust me,” Jay said, giving her a wink. “Good things come to those who wait.”
Chapter Twelve
Jay waited until he heard the door to the den where Rachel was sleeping close before he headed to his room. Comforting Rachel had kept his mind from his own thoughts. But now that he was alone, they came flooding back.
What if Tom was right? What if he couldn’t go back to network broadcasting?
Though his bedroom was relatively warm, Jay shivered. Being the best had been his goal since he’d been a little boy. He’d wanted to be successful before he’d even known what the word meant.
He moved across the bedroom to the window seat. Light from the moon illuminated the night sky. An owl hooted in the distance and the scent of honeysuckle filled the air. One deep breath was all it took for the memories to come rushing back.
He’d only been ten, and that night it had been the sound of raised voices that had pulled him from his bed….
“I’m not God.” Henry Nordstrom’s deep booming voice carried easily through the open upstairs window. “I can’t make it rain.”
“But if we don’t get some moisture, we’ll lose the crops.” Despair filled his mother’s voice. “We’ll lose everything.”
Fear gripped Jay’s heart and he moved to the window, his breath coming in shallow puffs.
He might just be a kid, but he wasn’t stupid. Jay knew what they were talking about—the farm, the land that had been in the Nordstrom family for five generations.
Crouching down so he wouldn’t be seen, Jay peered out the window, his gaze sweeping the farmyard. His parents stood facing each other in the gravel drive. His mother’s chest heaved as sobs racked her body.
Guilt formed a knot in Jay’s stomach. Was this all because of him? After all, he had told God more than once how much he hated living in the country. And he had begged God to find some way to let him move into town.
Somehow, though, Jay had never really thought about how this would all come about. He’d certainly never connected it with losing the farm. That was unthinkable. How could you lose something that had been in your family for over a hundred years?
“You never should have bought that combine.” Accusation filled his mother’s voice.
The combine had arrived three years before—on Jay’s birthday. His father had teased Jay that the big green machine was one of his presents.
Jay had thought it was pretty cool since it had a CD player, but his mother hadn’t liked it at all. After the party, she and his father had argued long into the night.
“How was I to know we’d have two years of severe drought? It hasn’t been this bad in fifty years.” Jay’s father lifted his chin as if daring his wife to dispute his words.
“Okay, so maybe you couldn’t have known.” His mother’s voice trembled with emotion. “But I’m tired of creditors calling and demanding money I don’t have. Life isn’t supposed to be like this.”
Some of the changes that had occurred in the past six months suddenly made sense; his mother’s desire to make their lunch rather than have them buy it at school, her learning to cut their hair and the decision to not run the air conditioner this summer.
“I’m doing the best I can, Twyla.” Weariness filled his father’s voice and it must have touched something within his mother because she moved closer, taking her husband’s hands in hers.
“I know you are.” Her words echoed in the still night. “I just hope it’s enough.”
It took all of Jay’s willpower to stay silent. He wanted to scream at his father, to tell the tall broad-shouldered man he’d always admired that he agreed with his mother—it wasn’t supposed to be like this. Fathers took care of their families.
Jay thought of the men in the co-op office asking him if he had something for them when he’d stopped by after school to grab a soda. He remembered the look they’d exchanged when he’d said no.
Warmth crept up his neck. Did his parents owe the co-op money? And what about the bank? Had that been what Tom had meant when he’d said Jay’s father had begged his dad for help?
At the time, Jay had only laughed. He’d thought Tom was talking about help with harvesting and he knew his dad didn’t need help from someone who owned a bank.
He wondered how he could have been so blind?
Jay had vowed then and there that he would never put his children in such a situation. He’d work hard. When he had a family, he’d provide for them. He’d never let them down.
A clap of thunder in the distance brought Jay back to the present with a jolt.
His finger moved to the scar on his cheek. What was it Tom had said? “You had something good going in L.A. but you sure screwed that up.”
Though the crash had been ruled an accident, Jay knew it was his fault. He’d been driving too fast and now he was paying for his impulsiveness. Just like his father paid dearly for buying a combine he didn’t need.
Most people in Millville thought of Jay’s brother, Wayne, as a chip off the old block, but Jay knew that wasn’t accurate. Wayne was a successful farmer.
He hadn’t done one thing to screw up his life.
But Henry had.
And now, so had Jay.
The foldout sofa in the Nordstrom’s downstairs den was relatively new but Rachel couldn’t get comfortable. She tossed and turned for what seemed like hours.
Finally she gave up trying to fall asleep, pulled a robe on over the boxer shorts and tank top she’d brought to sleep in, and headed for the kitchen. Hopefully some warm milk would do the trick.
She moved quietly. Even though Jay’s room was upstairs, Rachel didn’t want to take a chance on waking him. By the time the movie had concluded, exhaustion had been etched in Jay’s features. And Rachel knew it was the altercation with Tom that had taken its t
oll, rather than Jay’s increasing physical activity.
Jay had hidden his emotions well, but Tom’s words had been a low blow, directed at the heart of Jay’s fears. She’d wanted so much to tell Jay that even if he couldn’t go back to a national network, he’d be able to do far better than a local station, but she’d kept still. Something told her that Jay might not find the sentiment comforting.
Besides, she was still reeling over the revelation that Tom had lied. Though Rachel felt sorry for Karen, the knowledge that she hadn’t been the only one to experience Tom’s abuse had been freeing.
Rachel padded down the stairs and across the hardwood floor to the kitchen. She’d just pulled the saucepan out from under the stove when she stilled, her brows pulling together. She listened intently for a moment, but only the ticking of the parlor clock greeted her ears.
Rachel smiled and shook her head. No wonder she couldn’t sleep. Obviously, her imagination had kicked into overdrive.
“Eeooww.”
Startled, Rachel released her hold on the pan’s handle. It fell to the stovetop with a clatter before toppling the rest of the way to the floor. It was a baby’s cry and it sounded as if it was coming from the bathroom.
“Is something wrong?”
Rachel whirled. Jay stood in the doorway dressed in a pair of grey sweatpants and a T-shirt. His feet were bare and his brow was furrowed. Concern filled his gaze.
“It’s a baby.” She forced the words past her dry lips and brushed past him, panic propelling her steps.
“A baby?” Behind her Jay’s voice rose and cracked. “What are you talking about?”
Rachel didn’t take time to answer. She increased her pace and crossed the room in the time it would have taken her to answer.
The door to the bathroom stood ajar. The fact that Rachel could no longer hear the baby’s cry caused her heart to tighten in her chest.
Though she wanted to burst in to the room, she carefully pushed the door open, her gaze darting around the small area. The sink was empty, as was the tub. Her gaze dropped to the floor.
“You heard the cat.” Jay laughed, his voice drifting over her left shoulder.
The calico lay on the floor between the toilet and the wall.
Rachel’s face warmed. What kind of idiot confuses a cat with a baby? She turned and met Jay’s gaze. “I’m sorry I woke you. I tried to be quiet.”
His lips twitched. “Was that before or after you dropped the pan?”
Rachel chuckled. “Point taken.”
Jay gazed at her for a long moment, then raised one hand to cup her face.
Her breath caught in her throat at the look in his eyes.
“Have I told you lately how beautiful you are?”
Those brilliant blue eyes had viewed some of the most beautiful women in the world and Rachel knew she didn’t hold a candle to those women. Still, she couldn’t stop the flush of pleasure that filled her at his words. “With no makeup and bed-head? I don’t think so.”
“You’re so oblivious.” Tenderness mixed with wonder filled Jay’s gaze. “You really have no idea how pretty you are.”
Jay’s fingers slid through her hair as he stepped forward. He stood so close Rachel could feel his heart beat, so close she could smell his clean masculine scent, so close she could scarcely breathe.
He was going to kiss her; she knew that with absolute certainty. And this time she was going to let him.
“Eeeeeeeowwww.”
Rachel jumped back at the piecing cry, the sudden movement knocking Jay off balance.
He stumbled backward and would have fallen if Rachel hadn’t sprung forward. She wrapped her arms tightly around him feeling his muscles tense between her touch.
“I’m sorr—”
“I’m not. I’ve got you just where I want you.”
His arms tightened around her and anticipation crept up Rachel’s spine. “And just where is that?”
He gently brushed back a strand of hair from her face. “In my arms.”
She tilted her face to him and smiled. “In a bathroom?”
His smile widened. “Works for me.”
“Even with a cat crying in the background?”
“I don’t hear anything.” Jay’s breath was warm against her neck.
Rachel stifled a sigh and turned in his arms, overwhelmed by what she was feeling.
Jay pulled her close again, a satisfied smile lifting his lips. “It’s great, isn’t it?”
Rachel froze. “No, it’s not.”
“It’s not?” At any other time the look of shock on his face would have been laughable, but the last thing Rachel felt like doing was laughing.
“Your cat is having kittens.” She squirmed from his arms. “What are we going to do?”
By the time number five made her appearance, Rachel was exhausted. The births had not been easy and for the past hour she and Jay had had their hands full.
After each one was born, Rachel would give Miss Kitty a few moments to clean her baby off before handing it to Jay.
He’d positioned himself on the edge of the bathtub with a thick towel. With surprising gentleness he’d dry off each kitten before placing it in the tub in the nest of his mother’s best Turkish bathsheets.
The calico had quickly joined her brood after the last kitten was delivered and the five little ones now lay cuddled up against their sleeping mother.
“They are so precious.” Rachel reached down to stroke the head of number three, a black-and-white female. “My father wouldn’t allow pets in our home, so this is a first for me.”
“It’s a first for me, too,” Jay said. “I’ve seen calves and pigs born, but never kittens.”
Rachel had never lived in the country, but she knew that farm kids often had a different view of animals. Her dad had grown up on a farm and she remembered what he’d had to say on the subject. She’d been appalled when he’d told her the brutal way his parents had kept their cat population in check.
“My Dad said his parents used to drown their unwanted kittens in their pond.” Rachel’s gaze dropped to Miss Kitty and her sleeping babies. Somehow, after witnessing the miracle of life, her grandparents’ actions seemed even more reprehensible. “And my father didn’t think it was wrong. He said it made sense to him.”
Jay’s lips tightened. “I know he was your father, Rachel, but if he were here at this moment I’d be tempted to put him in a bag and drop him in the river.”
“He wasn’t a very nice man,” Rachel agreed. She’d come to that realization years ago. “Thankfully I had a wonderful mother.”
“Do you always look on the bright side?”
Something in his tone made Rachel glance up. His expression was serious and the look in his eyes told Rachel he expected more than a flippant answer.
She wiped her hands slowly, giving the question some thought. “Though I have my moments of doubt, I’m an optimist. I prefer to focus on the good, rather than the bad.”
“The good isn’t that easy to find.”
“It sometimes takes a little thought,” Rachel conceded, “sometimes a little distance or time. But I can usually find the blessing in a situation.”
The skeptical look in Jay’s eyes told her he wasn’t convinced.
“Think about it. My dad showed me by his example the kind of man I wouldn’t want to marry,” Rachel said. “All of his characteristics are red flags when I see them in someone I’m dating.”
“And yet you dated Tom,” Jay said. “And even considered marrying him.”
Rachel could feel her cheeks warm. He wasn’t saying anything she hadn’t said to herself.
“Sometimes we miss what’s right before us,” she said finally, “but I can tell you I won’t make that mistake again.”
She expected Jay to smile, but his expression remained serious. “It makes me sick to think you were with a guy who treated you like that.”
“My eyes have been opened,” Rachel said, sending a prayer of thanks heavenward. �
��I now see Tom for who he is, and not who I wanted him to be. And I know I deserve better.”
His handsome features relaxed and this time he smiled. “You go, girl.”
Rachel rolled her eyes. “I might not know what the good Lord has in store for me, but I know now it’s definitely not Tom Tidball.”
“Trust in God and, in time, all will be revealed,” Jay murmured.
Rachel widened her gaze. Just when she’d started to think she knew him, he surprised her. “Where did that come from?”
“I haven’t a clue,” Jay said, a hint of red creeping up his neck. “It’s probably just those Sunday School lessons coming back to haunt me.”
Rachel took a step forward and laid a reassuring hand on his arm. “Faith is a very attractive quality in a man.”
He paused for a moment before his lips curved up and his arm reached out, pulling her close. “And in a woman.”
Chapter Thirteen
Rachel hopped out of bed when the sun was barely peeping over the horizon. She pulled on a pair of running shorts and a T-shirt and headed to the washroom to check on the new arrivals.
She swore Miss Kitty smiled in satisfaction when she leaned over the bathtub and congratulated the feline on a job well done.
Since the kittens appeared to be in good hands, Rachel wandered into the kitchen, grabbed a glass of juice and headed to the back deck to watch the sunrise.
She must have dozed off because she opened her eyes to the sound of knuckles rapping on wood. She rubbed her eyes and blinked, trying to get her bearings.
“Rachel.” Jay’s impatient voice carried through the screen door. “Open up.”
The urgency in his tone propelled Rachel from the chair.
“Hurry.”
Was that pain in his voice? Rachel’s heart picked up speed and her feet fairly flew across the decking. She jerked the door open wide.
“Good morning.” Jay stood in the doorway with a broad smile on his face and a large tray in his hands.
Rachel couldn’t believe he’d carried the heavy platter from the kitchen without losing his footing. The sterling silver tray held a plate of scrambled eggs and bacon, another plate of thickly buttered toast and two cups of steaming coffee.
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