Last night’s dinner conversation had consisted of how well William was progressing, but, observing him now, Richard was not impressed. Aided by Mr. Adams, William walked from the bedroom to the balcony and back repeatedly. Though his cousin nodded in Richard’s direction when he first noticed him, William did not speak. That was satisfactory, for Richard was preoccupied with studying his cousin’s balance, noting that whenever Adams let go of his arm, William staggered to the left or the right. However, each misstep was immediately followed by a loud oath, which was totally alien to his cousin’s character. At length, Adams guided him to a chair by the bed, and William sat down wearily.
“Mr. Adams, would you excuse us, please? I would like to speak privately with my cousin,” Richard requested.
Adams glanced tentatively to his employer. Finding no objection in the master’s expression, he nodded to Richard and quickly escaped the room without saying a word.
William watched him leave with no little annoyance, though he did not speak until he was out of sight. “So, now that I am injured, you order my servants about as though they are yours?”
“Petulance does not become you, Darcy. I simply did not wish our conversation to be overheard.” William removed the patch that now covered his right eye and rubbed both eyes tiredly. “Does the patch help?” Richard enquired.
“Sometimes I think it does, but do not change the subject. You should have asked if I was done with Adams.”
“I suppose I could have, but I wished to address you while I was in complete control of my temper.”
William shifted in his seat, narrowing his eyes in order to see his cousin clearly. “That sounds ominous. What is so important that you must be in control of your temper to speak of it?”
Richard took a quick breath and blew it out noisily. “I shall get straight to the point. You have been acting like an arse since you woke from your injury, snapping at everyone helping you and uttering oaths I never thought to hear you say.”
“The oaths are aimed at myself... at my inability to improve.”
“How can you expect those around you to know that? Besides, you should not swear at yourself, either. Contrary to what you have always believed, you are not in charge of everything! I know you are accustomed to giving orders and seeing them followed, but you are not in charge of your recovery—God is! You can only do your part, and trust Him to do the rest.”
“According to you, my faults are many. But I am not dull! I realise that I may never be the man I once was!”
“That is rubbish! Obviously, you feel so sorry for yourself that you cannot think clearly.”
William’s face reddened, and he gripped the arms of the chair as his knuckles turned white. “Who are you to judge me?”
“I am the only one who will tell you when you act like a spoiled child! Everyone else fears hurting your feelings because you are obviously in pain. So they lick the wounds you inflict on them and stay silent. I, however, am not inclined to pamper a grown man.”
“Every bone in your body does not ache when you move. You can walk without assistance, read whenever you wish and can see clearly, for God’s sake! Perhaps if you were in my place, you might have more compassion.”
“What is the true source of your anger, Cousin? If it is your physical maladies, why take it out on those who have done nothing but care for you?”
William looked somewhat ashamed but did not reply.
“Or are you angry because you are married and do not remember why you chose Mrs. Darcy? I was told that she has cared diligently for you, sitting with you for hours when you first came home—so much so, that she was utterly exhausted and forced to her bed by order of Mr. Camryn. Still, you treat her with indifference—nay, with coldness!”
“I thanked her for her care!”
“Her?” Richard began to pace about the room, his boots producing a loud thud with each step. “Her name is Elizabeth, though I have yet to hear you say it. I can only imagine how sincere your thanks sounded!”
“I cannot... ” William swallowed hard. “I do not know what she expects. What if I am never more than half the man I was? I could not abide being married to a woman who pities me. She cries in my presence constantly, and I have no idea how to pacify her uncertainties, for I cannot alleviate my own. It takes all my strength just to get out of bed each day and walk without stumbling.” He motioned to papers scattered about his bed. “I cannot even read my own correspondence, much less write a letter.”
William passed a shaky hand over his face. “Pemberley could be in dire straits, and I would never know unless Mr. Sturgis informed me. Blast it, Richard! I cannot spend my energy on anything at this point save getting well!”
Richard walked over to place a hand on William’s shoulder. “I am not unfeeling, Cousin. I realise how frightening your circumstances must be, for you have so many people depending on you; however, I care too deeply to stand idly by and see you sink into the abyss you occupied after Uncle George’s death. Wallowing in your troubles will not help.”
“I AM NOT wallowing,” William said curtly. “And I will not be browbeaten by you, Richard. If my attitude bothers you so much, nothing is keeping you from rejoining your regiment.”
“You will not be rid of me that easily.”
“I am STILL master of this house, and I say who is to be a guest at Pemberley.”
“When you are physically able to toss me from the house, we shall revisit that threat,” Richard snarled.
Crossing the room, he stopped at the door to the balcony. Focusing on some horses grazing lazily in a distant pasture, Richard considered how ironic it was that Pemberley appeared the same outside the manor house, while turmoil reigned within.
Once he was composed, he addressed William again. “Darcy, all I ask is that you consider what your attitude is doing, not only to yourself, but to the woman who loves you. You say you have no memory of Mrs. Darcy, but believe me when I say that you were deeply in love with that woman. And I am not ashamed to add that I was greatly relieved that you had not chosen to marry a woman of the ton. In Elizabeth Bennet, you found a true companion in every sense of the word. If you do not play the hand you have been dealt wisely, you may lose everything you ever wanted in life. Just think on that.”
Having had his say, Richard walked out of the bedroom and into the sitting room. As he closed the door, he turned to find his aunt waiting. The look on her face was evidence that she had heard some, if not all, of their argument.
“I suppose the entire house heard.”
“Neither of you attempted to be quiet,” Olivia said with a slight smile. “I think I should speak to him now.”
“If you are brave enough, I will not stop you.” Richard offered a wry smile. “Do you wish me to wait here in case you need reinforcements?”
“I am used to stubborn men,” she said, stepping forward to smooth a lock of hair from Richard’s forehead before patting his cheek. “That will not be necessary.”
“Then I wish you luck.” Richard said, saluting his aunt before he left the room.
Taking a deep breath, Olivia Fitzwilliam rose to her full height and opened the door to William’s bedroom. As she entered, she noted that he looked away at the sight of her.
“May I have a word with you, Fitzwilliam?”
“Since Mrs. Darcy seems to have complained to everyone about my conduct, I imagine a line has formed of those wishing to have a word with me.”
Walking toward him with a kindly expression, she said, “You are entirely wrong. Elizabeth never complains to anyone. In fact, I was concerned for her welfare and confronted her. It took quite a bit of prodding on my part to get her to admit that it was your words that wounded her. If others have noticed, it is simply because you do not try to hide your feelings.”
William stood, managing to walk to the end of the bed. There, he clasped the bedpost to steady himself. He tried to focus on the sunlight playing across the balcony while he considered what to say.
&
nbsp; “I never meant to hurt her. It is just... I do not know how to respond. My wife is a stranger to me, and I fear that she expects more affection than I am able to give.”
Olivia hurried to his side, taking his hand. “Fitzwilliam, I know that Elizabeth would be content, for now, just to know you are not unhappy that she is your wife. If you would only force yourself to be affable, though you may have no tender feelings, it would do wonders for her melancholy.”
William’s brows knit. “She seems too intelligent to be convinced by merely a genial disposition.”
“A woman in love wants to believe that her husband cares. And you may find that feigning affection leads to true affection.” Then Olivia smiled, “It is telling, though, that you described Elizabeth as intelligent.”
“Why is that?”
“Once I asked you what made you fall in love with her and you remarked that Elizabeth’s intellect was what first attracted you and, afterwards, her eyes. You said they drew you like a moth to a flame.”
William studied the floor as he considered her remark. “I do not remember saying that, but I suppose her intelligence would have been a draw. I have always despised the way most ladies of the ton scorn education.”
“So you have.”
He turned to face her. “I shall apologise to Mrs. Dar... to Elizabeth, though I fear it may be too late. She left here in tears earlier.”
“It is never too late to apologise. Let me speak to her.”
“Thank you, Aunt.” William hesitated. “I have to say that you remind me of Mother. She would not have been happy with my attitude of late.”
“Knowing Anne as well as I did, I have no doubt of it.”
“If you do not mind, would you also ask Richard to return? I fear I owe him an apology, too.”
“I will.” Just then the valet came into the room and she addressed him. “I shall leave you to your duty, Mr. Adams.”
Then she did something that she had wanted to do for several days—she stood on tiptoes and kissed William on the cheek. “I am so pleased that you have come to this decision. And remember that I am always available should you need someone to listen.”
As she quit the room, he stared after her, absently rubbing the place she had kissed. When finally he noticed the puzzled expression on his valet’s face, he said, “I fear I owe you an apology, Adams.”
MONTHAVEN MANOR
A drawing room
“What were they thinking coming here?” Lord Attaway exclaimed, waving the letter Lady Susan had just given him to read. “If Andrew and George are ever convicted of hurting Fitzwilliam, you could hang for hiding them on your property. Everyone knows you have run Monthaven Manor since your father’s accident, so he will not be charged—you will.”
“Be quiet,” Lady Susan said, glancing to the door to see if any servants were nearby. “Andrew has done nothing wrong. He and George were in Sheffield when Fitzwilliam was assaulted.”
“Richard will not believe that, and I am not sure that I do either.”
“Do not talk nonsense. Andrew knows that I want to marry Darcy, so he would never do anything so foolish. But you are correct. Richard will presume Andrew to be guilty and George by association. So what choice do they have but to sail from England?”
“Sailing from England is not the problem. Kidnapping Mrs. Darcy is!” Attaway hissed under his breath. “I cannot believe that you are willing to go along with anything so utterly foolish!”
“If it means ridding Pemberley of Eliza Bennet, I am! And I shall insist that she not be set free. I want her to sail with them in payment for my assistance.”
“I never agreed to be involved in a kidnapping. I will not risk hanging when they are caught, as they will be.”
“YOU will do what I say, when I say, or I shall ruin you. Is that understood?”
Attaway’s bravado ebbed. His cousin was a formidable foe when she was thwarted. “I understand. But I will only take food to them. That is all.”
“That is all I need at present. Now, Mrs. Holden is downstairs filling a basket as we speak. Take it to the cabin straightaway and do not dawdle. It may look suspicious if you are not back in time for dinner.”
“What have you told your father? You do realise that the groundskeeper may notice the cabin is occupied and say something to him.”
“I have already explained to Father that some friends of yours from Liverpool are in Lambton on a fishing trip, and they asked about the area lakes. You enquired if they might fish in our lake, and I offered them the use of the cabin. If George and Andrew stay out of sight, no one will know who your friends are.”
“And what of Georgiana? I cannot be in charge of both catering to Andrew and meeting her every day.”
“I have already sent a note to Georgiana taking care of that problem.”
“Well. I guess there is nothing more to discuss. I must leave if I am to get there and back before dark.”
“Report to me when you return.”
Andrew saluted insolently. “Aye, aye, Captain!” Then he marched from the room.
Susan watched him go with contempt. You had best remember that I am YOUR superior in every way, Matthew!
HURRIEDLY MAKING HER way back downstairs, Mrs. Holden prayed not to be seen by the other servants. She had no reason to be above stairs but had gone up and lingered just outside the drawing room while Lady Susan and Lord Attaway talked.
As she entered safely into the foyer without encountering anyone, she breathed a sigh of relief. What she had heard was very important, and she had to think of an excuse to go into Lambton tomorrow morning.
Chapter 42
Pemberley
One week later
Richard Fitzwilliam and Charles Bingley slowly made their way down the gravel path that led to the stables. Since Charles’ arrival, they had begun each day with an early morning ride—a tradition Richard missed sharing with his cousin. As they neared the paddock, one of the under-grooms emerged from the barn leading Titan along with another stallion intended for Bingley.
“I see Mr. Miller has gotten used to our routine,” Richard stated.
“Darcy certainly has excellent servants. I could use a coachman like Miller, but I suppose there is no need to hire one until I am ready to buy an estate in lieu of renting. At least then I could be certain of keeping him on. For now, I have a groom and an under-groom who suffice. Besides, it would not be fair to hire someone of that calibre, only to have to let them go because the estate did not suit.”
“My cousin has taught you well.”
Bingley smiled. “Yes, Darcy has passed along a great deal of information on how to manage servants and run an estate; otherwise, I would have been completely adrift. He became my mentor at Cambridge and has been ever since. He is like the brother I never had.”
“I know what you mean. Darcy is more my brother than Edgar. By the way, Bingley, if I have neglected to tell you, I appreciate that you dropped everything to come to Pemberley to check on my cousin. Now that you are betrothed, it must be difficult to be separated from your fiancée, not to mention all the falderal that accompanies the preparations for that blessed state.”
“To tell the truth, I do not miss the falderal, as you call it. Mrs. Bennet can be exhausting in her desire to impress her neighbours. I do not think there is a household in Meryton we have not visited twice since our engagement. Yet I confess that I do miss Jane keenly. So much so, that now that Darcy seems on his way to a full recovery I am thinking of leaving within the next few days.”
“I assumed you might. I just wanted you to know that since your arrival my cousin’s attitude has changed significantly, and for that, you have my gratitude.”
Charles chuckled. “I can hardly take credit for Darcy’s attitude. From what Captain Fitzwilliam told me, Darcy changed after you had a confrontation with him and that occurred before I came!”
“He needed a kick in the arse! Heaven knows the man was wallowing in self-pity. But I feel I was entirely wro
ng in one regard.”
“Which was?”
“I assumed he was being curt to Mrs. Darcy because he had fallen into his old way of thinking—assuming she was too far beneath his station. I thought perhaps he could not come to terms with why he would have chosen her.”
“And you believe you were wrong?”
“Yes. After our quarrel, when he apologised, it quickly became clear that that my poor cousin was acting out of fear, rather than disdain.”
Charles stopped walking and turned to face Richard. “Darcy afraid? Of what?”
“Afraid he will never be the man he was before and utterly terrified that his wife, a woman he could not remember, might not be the kind to accept half a man, as he termed it. He even wondered aloud if she would pity him, declaring he could not abide that.” Letting go a deep breath, Richard added, “I did my best to reassure him that the Elizabeth Darcy I had come to know is not the type of woman to abandon her vows, and she is certainly not capricious.”
“Surely he believed you.”
“While he realises that I spoke the truth about his melancholy, I cannot say he trusts my opinion of his wife. Regardless, my candour concerning his attitude did hurt his feelings. It may take a while for us to return to our prior camaraderie. You, on the other hand, have the uncanny ability to cheer him by your mere presence.”
“I may cheer him, but I would never have had the nerve to challenge him; hence you are more useful than I.”
“We could argue that point forever,” Richard retorted. “But you will never know the burden that lifted from my shoulders when my grim cousin began to smile again. And he has steadily improved since.”
“You cannot discount all that Mr. Graham has accomplished in the short time he has been in residence,” Charles added. “I have seen great improvement in the few days I have been here.”
Darcy and Elizabeth--A Most Unlikely Couple Page 68