“I did it. Popped the cherry. Gave away the v-card.”
“How? Who?”
“How?” She laughs. “I’m pretty sure you know how. As for who, a guy.”
“A guy? A boyfriend?”
“Sort of.” She shrugs.
“I thought it needed to be special.”
“Me, too.”
“He knew you were a virgin?”
“Yep. I told him and I told him what I wanted. So we did it.”
“How do you feel now?”
“Honestly?” She sits in the chair next to mine. “I feel weird. Like, what was the big deal? I think I built it up too much in my head. Other than some mild discomfort, it was a non-event.”
“Your casual attitude towards it is sort of shocking.”
“Yeah, to me too.” She laughs. “I thought I was going to feel different, like I grew up or something, you know, but I don’t at all.”
“Do me a favor, Stacey.”
“What?”
“Don’t whore yourself out. Please don’t give in easy and let any guy have you that asks. You are better than that and you deserve more.”
“I won’t. The other guy… I just needed to get rid of it and I didn’t want to wait to fall in love.” She shifts her eyes to the floor. “I had such a huge crush on you, but I know I blew that opportunity.”
“I’m sorry things turned out like this, but I believe it’s for the best.”
“Me, too. I do wish I could’ve been the girl you picked to fall in love with.”
“I don’t think we pick people to love. I think love just happens.”
“I guess you’re right.”
“Find yourself a nice guy who is worthy of you.”
“I will. Maybe I have.”
“Will I meet him tonight?”
“No, he has to work.”
“Too bad.”
The door opens and Ariel walks in carrying some grocery bags. I run to help her carry them into the kitchen.
“You’re early,” she says.
“Yeah, I guess I didn’t get the time right.”
“Everything okay?”
“Yes, but I’m pretty tired. I don’t think I’m up for a late night party.”
“You’re leaving?” Stacey asks.
“Yeah. I’m exhausted. I was only planning to stop by for a bit.”
Ariel lowers her voice. “How are things with Mackenzie?”
“I don’t want to talk about that right now.”
“That good, huh?” She frowns.
“Yeah.” I kiss her check. “I’m outta here. Talk to you next week.”
“Okay.”
I open the front door and stand in the doorway as Stacey walks me out. “I’m going home to sleep off my week.” I give her a big hug and kiss her cheek. “Take care, Stacey. I really do wish the best for you.”
“I feel the same about you.”
I get back in my car and drive off while Stacey waves at me. As I drive, I go past the street that leads to Mackenzie’s place and feel such a strong urge to turn, but I won’t. There is no way I would put myself in that situation. For now, I just have to let her be. Eventually the continual ache in my chest will subside.
Won’t it?
I don’t understand why I’m getting these texts. I don’t understand who is doing it and why they want to hurt me. Whoever it is, they know me and they know Brayden and they definitely don’t want us together.
I know I have to tell him about this, but I don’t know how. He doesn’t want to talk to me or see me. I’m practically banned from his office. Now seeing this, holding another woman in his arms, I know that he is really moving on from me. I guess I can’t blame him.
I turn my phone on silent and roll over on my side. Tears fall down my face, soaking the pillow beneath me. Since the wedding, I cry myself to sleep every night. Will it ever stop? Now I have to live with the knowledge that Brayden is moving on with his life and someone who is very mean wants me to know it. Someone wants to hurt me.
I thought it was impossible to hurt more than I did, but I was wrong. I’ve lost him for good. I squeeze my eyes shut, wishing for sleep, but it only takes moments for me to rise again, walk into the bathroom, and purge myself of the food I ate for dinner. It feels good to be empty. It feels necessary to want. To feel hunger. To hurt myself. I deserve nothing else.
I crawl back into bed and sob.
I sit at my desk waiting for it to be eight-thirty and for Brayden to make his appearance. I need to tell him about the texts. He might not know. When I see him, I take a deep breath.
“Excuse me, Brayden. I have something very important I need to talk to you about.”
“What?” he asks.
“It’s private and you really need to be made aware of it.”
“I don’t really have time for this, Mackenzie.”
“Listen to me,” I say softly, but with a stern tone. “This is very serious.”
He pauses. “Okay. Follow me up.”
I stand and walk behind him carrying my phone. We ride up to his office, a tense silence between us that makes me want to scream. Stepping out of the elevator, he sees Macy and his face lights up, just like it used to for me.
“Macy!” he says. “Welcome back.” He hugs her and kisses her on both cheeks. “How was the honeymoon?”
“It was wonderful.” Macy’s eyes shift back and forth between us. “You doing okay, boss?”
“Me? I’m fine.”
“You look worn down.”
“Just busy with work.”
I walk closer. “Welcome back, Macy. Your wedding was beautiful.”
“Thank you. I’m glad you could come.”
“Me, too,” I say. I look up at Brayden, who looks beyond pissed. Clearly the wedding is a sore subject. For good reason.
“Alright, Mackenzie, let’s make this quick,” he says.
I can tell Macy notices his change in demeanor. I smile and walk in behind him, shutting the door.
“What is this about?” he asks.
“Remember the park incident when Stacey and I received the same text to meet you?”
“How could I forget?”
“Well, I was bombarded all weekend with texts messages. This time it’s from an unknown number.”
“About me?”
“Yes. You and Stacey.”
“Me and Stacey?” he asks, incredulously.
“Yes.” I hand him my phone. “Someone obviously wants me to know that you were with her.”
Brayden scrolls through the texts with a frown on his face. “Who the fuck is doing this?”
“I wish I knew. It’s obviously someone who knows us.”
“Obviously.” He looks up at me. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”
“Because you don’t want to talk to me. I took a chance asking to speak to you today.”
“This is different.” He paces his office. “This worries me. I don’t understand someone’s motive to do something like this. Are they trying to hurt me?”
“Or me.”
“Yeah.”
“Clearly the person knows there is something going on between us. Or was, rather.”
“That’s what bothers me the most. It has to be someone close to us.”
“I know.”
“Are you scared?” he asks.
“Not really. I guess I don’t like the feeling that I’m being watched and so are you. Maybe Stacey is, too.”
“Yeah.”
“What should we do?”
“I don’t know yet.” He hands me back my phone. “Try not to let it bother you. I’ll think of something and when I do, I will let you know. Just be aware of your surroundings at all times.”
“I will be. You, too.”
“Yeah.”
We walk out and are surprised to see a very uncomfortable Macy talking to Stacey. I have no idea what to do now. I don’t want to see her and Brayden together.
“Stacey,” Brayden says. “What a
re you doing here?”
“Coming by, like you asked me to.”
He sighs. “Not again. Come in my office. Both of you.”
Stacey looks at me and I am immediately jealous of her. She got him and she deserves him. I bet she would have no trouble telling him that she loved him.
“Sit down,” Brayden directs. “We have a situation. Just like the park incident.”
Stacey gasps softly. “You didn’t text me?”
“No. Mackenzie received a bunch of text messages of you and me on Friday night.”
“Seriously?” Stacey asks.
“Yes,” I say.
“What kind of texts?”
“Pictures of us together when I was leaving,” Brayden says and the words sting like tearing a bandage off.
“Oh. That means someone was watching us?” she asks.
“Yes,” Brayden confirms. “It’s the only way it would be possible. I just can’t figure out who or why. I don’t know what the point is.”
“To hurt me,” I say.
“Or to hurt me,” Brayden says.
“Maybe to hurt all of us,” Stacey says. “I’m tired of being lured to see you under false pretenses. Whoever is doing this finds it amusing to fuck with us. Whoever their target is, it’s hurting everyone.”
“True,” Brayden says. “We need to put a stop to it. I’m thinking I might call a private investigator.”
“This is so weird,” Stacey says.
I sit quietly, wishing I was anywhere but here. My pride is wounded. Here is the girl that I almost beat up to keep away from my man, and she won. She gets to feel his lips against hers and hold him in her arms. I glance at her and notice her features. She’s pretty in a natural way, but she doesn’t seem to be his type. Maybe it’s just her personality. She’s nice, unlike me.
“For now,” Brayden says, “Just please, everyone be on the watch for anything out of the ordinary. Don’t go out alone if you can help it.”
“Why don’t we use a code word?” Stacey suggests. “Then we’ll all know for sure if the text is real or not. It will be our secret.”
“That’s a good idea, Stacey.” Brayden pauses for a moment. “How about clover?”
Stacey cocks her head while I smile softly. “Sure, why not?” she says.
“It’s fine with me,” I add.
“I’ll take you back to work, Stacey,” Brayden offers.
“I’m off today and I don’t need help. I can make it home.”
“Maybe you should walk her out, though, Brayden,” I say, even though it pains me. “I have a feeling if they made Stacey come here, then they are watching the building.”
“Good point,” he says. “Okay, let’s go, Stace.”
“Okay,” she says. She starts to walk out, but turns back towards me. “Mackenzie, I’m sure you hate my guts and for good reason. I just want you to know, if it matters, that I never meant to cause all this trouble and I certainly didn’t mean to come between you and Brayden.”
Before I can say anything, Brayden grabs Stacey’s arm and drags her out of the room. I walk out and look at Macy.
“What is going on?” she asks.
“Drama,” I reply. “If Brayden needs anything from me, tell him I’m at my desk.”
“Why don’t you tell him?”
“We aren’t exactly speaking.”
“You just were.”
“That was necessity.”
I start to walk away, but Macy calls my name. I turn back. “Yes?”
“He would kill me for saying this, but you know he loves you, right?”
My eyes well with tears. “I know he used to. Now, well, I’m not sure anymore.”
“You don’t just stop loving someone in two weeks.”
“I know. I’ve tried.” Macy hands me a tissue and I dab my eyes. “I don’t want to be here when he gets back. I’ll see you later. Thanks for your kindness.”
“Sure. Bye.”
I press the button and wait for the elevator to take me back to my floor and far away from this man. I wish I knew who was doing all of this. I’m in enough pain without someone sticking the knife in further.
“Don’t be mad at me, Brayden,” Stacey says.
“I’m not. I just don’t want you to talk to her.”
“I only wanted to apologize.”
“I know. Can you just leave it alone, though?”
“Yeah, of course. Thanks for walking me down. I can’t believe this happened again.”
“Yeah, it’s really pissing me off. Be careful, okay?”
“Always.” She kisses my cheek. “You, too.”
“I will. See you, Stace.”
“Okay, bye.” She bounces out the front door and I watch her walk to her car. I’m suddenly aware of all my surroundings, wondering if every person who walks by is the one who is doing all of this. I can’t for the life of me think of who it could be. I don’t even know if it could be an ex-lover at this point, but it’s the only thing that makes any sense.
As I go back upstairs, I start thinking of every interaction I have with everyone and if any of it is weird. I talk to Matt the most, Macy, Todd. I’m sure it’s not them. Other than that, who? Dan? No fucking way. Ariel? Obviously not. Sydney? No, she’s super sweet. Tony? Hmm, maybe, but how would he know about Stacey? Or maybe Sam, but again, how would he know so much about my personal life? I wrack my brain with possibilities.
Stepping off the elevator, Macy looks up at me and stands.
“What is going on around here?”
“So much shit. Come on in—I’ll catch you up.”
Macy follows me and sits down and I proceed to tell her everything that happened from her wedding night to now. She shakes her head the whole time.
“I can’t believe it. I know Mackenzie loves you. She just said so.”
“She told you, but she can’t tell me?”
“Well, she didn’t come right out and say it, but it was inferred.”
“I don’t want to infer anything. I want to hear her say it. She told me she doesn’t and that she can’t.”
“Obviously, there is something going on there. I just said you can’t stop loving someone that fast and she said, I know, I’ve tried. Clearly she was talking about you.”
I stare at Macy for a moment while my heart beats hard in my chest. “She said that to you?”
“Yes, and she cried. I had to give her a tissue. Tough as nails Mackenzie Reed shed a tear in front of me.”
“Whoa.”
“I know. She loves you, too, but for whatever reason she is afraid of it. You should talk to her.”
“I don’t know. I can’t take her rejection again.”
“I have a feeling that isn’t going to happen.” Macy stands and puts her hand on my shoulder. “Go to her.”
“I’ll think about it. The last time I did that she tore my heart in two.”
“Give her a chance. She wasn’t expecting it and she clearly wasn’t ready for it.”
“Clearly.”
“Okay, well I have a lot of work to do. What did the temp do while I was gone, read magazines?”
“I have no idea.” I chuckle. “I was wrapped up in my own little world. I’m glad you’re back.”
“I’m glad to be back. The time away was nice, but we both got a little stir crazy.”
Macy walks out and I do my best to get back to work. I look up a few private investigators and decide to call one that looks reputable.
“Green P.I. Services, how can I help you?”
“I need to speak to someone about a situation.”
“Right away, sir.”
I’m put on hold for a moment until a woman answers the phone.
“Theresa Green, speaking.”
“Hello, I’d like to talk to you about a situation I’m having and see if you can help.”
“Sure. What’s going on?”
“I’m being stalked and so are two women I know.”
“Stalking? Okay. Let’s s
tart by covering a few questions.”
The call takes a half an hour and by the time we’re done, I feel confident that Theresa is the right person. Without asking, I can tell she is from back East, maybe New York or Jersey. She’s quite confident that she won’t have any troubles taking on this case.
“I may need the numbers of the two women and I definitely need addresses.”
I give her all the information as we wrap up the phone call.
“Is there anything I should be doing in the meantime?” I ask.
“Just stay aware and call me if there are more incidents.”
“Okay, will do. Should I call the police?”
“You can try, but without any proof they are hard pressed to do anything. Unfortunately, something needs to happen usually. We want to prevent that.”
“Yes, we do. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. We’ll talk soon.”
I hang up and call Stacey, letting her know the situation. I know I need to tell Mackenzie, too, but I’m just not ready to see her beautiful, tragic face again. I can’t stand the sadness in her eyes. She’s lost weight and she looks drawn and tired. Gone is my gorgeous, vibrant Kenzie. I decide I’ll wait until quitting time so I can just go home afterward.
Before long, it’s time for the staff meeting and another interaction with her. She’ll be giving the team’s sales updates since Matt is out today. We’ve slowly been giving her more and more responsibility and I know eventually she’ll get her own team. For now, I really hope she can keep it together and not be so down.
I head down to the conference room and take my seat, as do the others in my division. When Angelica comes in the room, I notice how she checks Mackenzie out, and not in a good way. I start to wonder if she is the one behind the stalking. I’ve always known Angelica to be pretty cutthroat and we have our own tense relationship after what went down between us. She might not like that Mackenzie came in and stole the show. Hmm, something to definitely keep my eye on.
Mackenzie avoids looking at me and plays with the silver M that hangs around her neck. I love when she does that. It’s so unassuming yet so sexy. I can’t help but watch her do it. She looks up at me and for a moment, I see my Kenzie. She smiles softly and then averts her eyes. When it’s her turn to speak, she opens a folder and starts reading stats.
Chasing Desire Page 32