by Liz Byrski
Daisy was lying on the patio paving underneath the table, hoping someone would notice she was missing and try to find her. If they were worried about her they might bring forward the present-opening time. She loved that part of Christmas, not just because of getting her presents, but because she and Toby were always allowed to crawl under the tree and distribute the parcels. It wasn’t easy because everyone had to have a present to open at the same time so that no one would feel left out, and as some people got lots of presents and others only a few, you had to be really careful.
‘Ouch!’ she cried as a foot landed on her fingers. ‘You trod on me.’ She sat up and clutched the tablecloth, rattling the crockery.
‘Whoops – sorry, darling,’ Heather said. ‘Didn’t see you there, but don’t pull on the cloth or everything will collapse.’ She bent down and lifted the edge of it. ‘What are you doing down there?’
‘I’m bored,’ Daisy said. ‘Can’t we have our presents before Christmas dinner?’
Heather sat down on the ground beside her. ‘No, not this year,’ she said. ‘Ellis thought it might be nice to do it the way his family always did it and that means presents later.’
‘But it’s such a long time,’ Daisy sighed. ‘I’m not being selfish or anything, Aunty Heather, but I made all these lovely cards for everyone and I want to give them out, and there’s dinner and pudding, and then the grown-ups always have to have coffee and talk for hours.’
Heather took her hand and drew her out from under the table. ‘Well, I tell you what,’ she said, as they both got to their feet. ‘Why don’t we make a special ceremony just for your cards? The dinner’s practically ready, so when we’ve had that, I’ll bring out the pudding and you can give out your cards while we eat it.’
Daisy recognised a win when she saw one. ‘Yes,’ she cried. ‘Can we, can I, do that?’
‘Of course, and we’ll have our coffee at the same time as we have our presents,’ Heather said, hugging her. ‘And I’m just dying to see my card, I’m sure it’s gorgeous. Now, do you want to go inside and tell everyone that we’re eating in five minutes?’
*
‘It’s brilliant,’ Kirsty said. ‘Honestly, Dad, you look like a different person. And Jill looks really happy.’
‘She is, we both are, but it was her idea. She loves her job and I hate mine, so it makes sense. It just took me a while to convince myself it was really okay,’ Adam said.
‘And you’ve joined the quartet?’
‘I have.’
Kirsty hugged him. ‘I’m so pleased. And, guess what, I’ve got news too. On Friday I got a job. A proper job, as you would say.’
Adam laughed. ‘Really? What, full time, no more casual shifts at the café?’
‘No more casual shifts. I’m going to work for the Greens. The money’s okay, not brilliant but okay. I’ll be writing and editing the newsletter, and it’s just the sort of thing I wanted. The journalism degree was great but I never wanted to be a news reporter.’
‘That’s wonderful, I’m so proud of you,’ Adam said. ‘The Greens – have you told Heather?’
‘I haven’t told anyone yet except Nick and you,’ Kirsty said. ‘Like you, I’ve been saving my news for today. Do you think she’ll berate me about it being the wrong party?’
‘I doubt it,’ Adam replied. ‘I think she’ll be as pleased about it as I am, and as Jill will be when you tell her.’
Kirsty smiled and threaded her arm through his. ‘And we can still go cycling. You don’t even miss me anymore, do you?’
Adam gasped in mock horror. ‘When did you get to be so manipulative? Of course I miss you, but it’s okay. A lot’s happened in the last few months. And look, you picked the right time, you avoided being on my housework roster. I’m sure Daisy’s told you about it.’
‘In detail,’ Kirsty said. ‘But Toby seems to quite like it. I think he’s relishing the chance to appear more grown-up than Daisy. By the way, on the subject of domestic stuff, who do you think made the place cards? I bet it was Ellis. Anyway, I’ve moved mine and Nick’s so we can sit near Shaun.’
Barbara was stirring the gravy. She was the only person allowed in the kitchen while Heather organised the turkey onto the carving dish and made sure the vegetables were really done.
‘My own gravy always has lumps,’ Barbara said.
‘Mine too,’ Heather said, red-faced from peering in the oven. ‘But who cares?’
Barbara laughed. ‘By the way, whose idea was it to have place cards?’
‘Ellis’s,’ Heather said, sticking the point of a knife into the potatoes. ‘He wrote them himself – he even bought a special pen.’
‘You know everybody’s been out there moving them around?’
‘Really?’ Heather looked up. ‘Oh dear, I hope he won’t be upset.’
‘Upset? This is your home, Heather, these are your family and friends, surely he’ll be happy to fit in with us?’
‘I hope so. You do like him, Barb, don’t you? It’s so important to me, but I feel people don’t take to him straight away. Perhaps they just need more time to get to know him.’
Barbara peered down into the gravy. ‘Don’t worry about it,’ she said. ‘It’s what you feel that’s important. Just give them time.’
‘But you,’ Heather persisted. ‘You really do like him, don’t you? You’ve always been such a good judge of character.’
‘Of course I do, dear,’ Barbara said, suspecting that she might yet regret this lie. ‘And most of all, it’s wonderful to see you looking so happy.’
‘You didn’t call,’ Stefan said with a smile. ‘I hoped you would come to see my garden.’
Diane blushed. ‘I meant to,’ she lied, ‘really I did, but I lost your number.’
Stefan nodded. ‘I would lose my number too,’ he said, ‘if I was to be you.’
‘I’m sorry?’
He laughed. ‘If I am you, I think this man is morbid. He wants to live like in a cemetery.’
‘No, not at all,’ Diane said, her blush deepening. ‘It wasn’t like that.’
Stefan raised his eyebrows. ‘I think so.’
‘I’m sorry,’ she said. ‘I lied. That was the reason I didn’t call. I just felt I’d spent too long dwelling on the past. I didn’t mean to offend you.’
‘And I am not offended,’ he said. ‘I agree with you. But the garden is for looking forward. Something dies but always, at the same time, something new is growing. The cycle of life and death, it’s a reminder there is always something new to live for.’
‘Now I feel really silly. I made a lot of assumptions, I suppose, based on my own behaviour. May I change my mind and come?’
Stefan put his hand on her arm and she felt a shiver of pleasure at being touched.
‘Please,’ he said. ‘I would like it so much. When will you come? Soon, I hope.’
‘Yes, soon,’ she said. ‘I’m moving out of my house after New Year, and it feels very strange waiting to go.’
‘And you have found another place?’
‘I’m going to house-sit for some old friends, Lorraine and Gordon. They’re going to Europe for a few months. It’ll give me time to decide what I want to do.’
‘So, this week perhaps, you come while you are waiting? I am very pushy.’
‘This week,’ she nodded, ‘if that’s all right.’
‘That will be wonderful. I might just manage to wait that long. I must tell you I have done a terrible thing. I went to look at the table and there are cards where we are to sit. So I moved my card beside yours. I think Ellis will not be pleased, he likes to decide these things.’
‘I think you’re right,’ Diane laughed, ‘and I’m so glad you did it. I’d love to sit with you and we will not be moved.’ And once again she felt a thrill of pleasure as he drew her arm through his and led her out to the table.
TWENTY-THREE
It was like a scene from a movie, Jill thought later; family and friends around a table, laughing, tal
king, drinking toasts, pulling crackers and abandoning dignity in favour of paper hats. It was a scene you watch on the edge of your seat, knowing that something awful is going to happen, wondering how the characters haven’t guessed what’s coming, why they can’t see that this is a stage set for disaster. And yet, none of them had seen it coming. Even those, herself among them, who harboured the odd, niggling concern about the occasion, could not have predicted anything like this.
Jill was quite relaxed despite having witnessed Ellis’s dummy-spit to Heather in the kitchen about someone moving his place cards. She’d been on her way to the patio from the bathroom and heard him through the open kitchen door, but everyone else was at the table by then. In a contrary sort of way she’d found it reassuring, as though something awkward had happened and so surely it must be the worst that could happen.
There was a break after everyone had had their fill of the main course. Diane and Stefan seemed to be getting along particularly well, the children were behaving beautifully, it was all so pleasant and relaxed. So when she got up to help clear the plates the only thing that concerned Jill was Heather, who was doing a better and more frenetic impersonation of a good wife than she herself had ever done. She had dismissed all offers of help to fetch the pudding, bringing it triumphantly to the table with blue brandy flames licking the glossy sides. And that was when it started.
‘Now,’ Heather said, ‘just before I serve the pudding, we’re having a special ceremony.’ Daisy had been glued to her side since the meal began and Heather put an arm around her shoulders. ‘Daisy has made everyone a very special card, isn’t that right?’
Daisy nodded, embarrassed now, shifting from one foot to the other as she clutched her plastic folder. ‘Everyone has a card with pictures I found specially for them,’ she said.
‘And Daisy’s going to give them to you now.’
‘Sicko!’ Toby murmured, but it was lost in the ripple of conversation.
Jill felt a little shiver of pride as Daisy, slowly and with great care, began to hand out the cards.
‘A bicycle and Chairman Mao, Daisy,’ Barbara cried, kissing her. ‘How clever of you, darling, thank you.’
‘And I’ve got a mandarin,’ George said, showing it to Barbara. ‘Now, wherever did you find that picture, Daisy?’
Diane’s glittery picture of a comb and scissors elicited great admiration, and Shaun graciously said he was delighted with the picture of guns; they were some of the finest he’d seen. Daisy was only halfway around the table when she handed Ellis his card and moved on to Nick, and that was when it happened. There was a strange snorting sound from Ellis, and Jill noticed that the colour had drained from his face.
‘And what the fuck is this supposed to be?’ he shouted, jumping to his feet, knocking against the table and sending two glasses and a bread plate flying to the ground. ‘Hey, you,’ he yelled at Daisy, taking two strides towards her, grabbing her arm and shaking her. ‘Is this some kind of joke?’
Adam was on his feet in an instant. ‘Let go of her,’ he shouted, and in two bounds he was at the end of the table, dragging a terrified Daisy away from Ellis and pushing her towards Jill. ‘What the hell do you think you’re doing? Don’t you dare touch my daughter, and don’t speak to her like that.’
‘I might’ve known it would be you,’ Ellis shouted in his face, brandishing the offending card. ‘Your idea, I suppose. Typical! You roll the bullets and get a child to fire them.’
‘What’s all this about?’ Adam said, grabbing the card from Ellis’s hand. And Jill watched a smile spread across his face as he looked up at Ellis. ‘Well, well, well,’ he said slowly, shaking his head. ‘No, Ellis, this was not my idea but frankly, seeing how much it’s upset you, I wish it had been. This is a work of total innocence on Daisy’s part. As for me getting back at you? Here’s the start of it.’ And he swung his fist into Ellis’s jaw with a sickening thump that sent him flying backwards to land with a crash on the paving.
Jill could see and hear it again now, as though it were happening in slow motion. The gasps from around the table, the sound of chairs scraping on the tiles as people got to their feet, a circle of shocked, wide-eyed faces as she thrust Daisy towards Kirsty and went to grab Adam, who was clearly in the mood to finish what he had started. But Shaun had beaten her to it. He dragged Adam into the centre of the lawn as Heather, stumbling on a chair leg and then righting herself, ran to Ellis’s side, calling his name.
‘Whatever was on the card?’ someone asked and Kirsty, still clutching the weeping Daisy, bent to pick it up.
‘A baby,’ she said, holding it up. ‘A baby. And it says Merry Christmas, I hope you find out what happened to your baby. Love Daisy.’
‘But what does it mean?’ Nick asked, walking through the park with Diane, Stefan and Shaun, who had suggested it might be a good idea for them to leave the family alone to sort things out. Toby had joined them too, glad that for once he was not part of the problem.
‘I think we could all hazard a rough guess,’ Diane said, aware that Toby’s ears were flapping, ‘but this might not be the right time.’
‘It is very bad,’ Stefan said, ‘the way he speaks to Daisy. She is a little girl, how can he speak to her like this? I do not like this man and I am glad Adam punches him. I like to punch him myself.’
‘But Adam, of all people,’ Nick said, ‘it’s just so unlike him. He’s a really cruisy guy. I never would have thought he had it in him.’
‘Me neither,’ Shaun said, ‘but Ellis certainly does have a knack of offending people.’
‘So what are we going to do?’ Diane asked, sitting down in the shade of some pines. ‘What next?’
The others joined her on the grass. ‘Give them a bit of time, I think,’ Shaun said, ‘and then go back inside and try to behave as though nothing’s happened.’
‘We can’t leave,’ Diane said. ‘You put your keys in my bag, Shaun, and it’s inside the house.’
‘And my car is blocked by Adam’s,’ Stefan said. ‘None of us can leave, I think, without going into the house. We just wait here, as you say, Shaun, give them some time.’
‘I still think I should take him up to the hospital,’ Heather said, while Ellis was upstairs washing his face and changing his bloody shirt. ‘Adam’s probably broken his jaw.’
‘Don’t be ridiculous, Heather,’ Barbara said, pushing her down into a chair and handing her a mug of tea. ‘Ellis’s jaw is not broken. If it were, he’d be in agony. He’s bruised and his lip is split, that’s where the blood’s coming from. It’s his pride that’s hurting him most.’
‘You could have killed him,’ Heather said, looking accusingly at Adam.
‘I wish I had,’ he replied.
‘Stop it, you two,’ Jill said. ‘Stop behaving like children. Heather, we’re all really sorry this has happened, but Barbara’s right, it’s –’
‘I’m not sorry,’ Adam said, flexing the fingers of his right hand, curling them into a fist and punching his left hand. ‘I’m not a bit sorry, and if he comes anywhere near me or Jill or my children, I’ll punch him again.’
George rolled his eyes at Barbara and took Adam by the arm. ‘Why don’t we go and sit down outside and cool off, old chap,’ he said, steering him out into the garden.
‘I can’t believe Adam’s behaving like this,’ Heather said.
‘Well, Ellis was very nasty to Daisy,’ Jill said. ‘She’s only ten years old and she was frightened.’
‘Where is Daisy?’ Barbara asked.
‘Upstairs in Heather’s spare room,’ Jill said. ‘Kirsty’s reading her a story.’
‘How did she even know?’ Heather asked, sipping the tea. ‘Who told her?’
‘No one told her,’ Jill replied. ‘Apparently, she overheard Adam and me talking in the bedroom, about you and Ellis. We’d talked about it before, about whether you’d actually discussed it with him – the way he behaved at the time.’ Jill saw Heather’s mouth tighten. ‘Daisy heard me say that
I felt you must have done, because Ellis would have wanted to find out what had happened to his baby. Of course, we didn’t know she could hear us and, of course, Heather, I’m sorry that she did, and that I was just too busy to go through the cards.’
‘Heather!’ Ellis called. ‘Heather, come up here, please; I need to speak to you.’
Heather leapt up, splashing tea on her dress. She put her cup on the coffee table and raced out of the room and up the stairs.
Jill raised her eyebrows at Barbara and they sank down side by side on the sofa.
‘This is dreadful,’ Jill said. ‘Can you believe Adam behaving like that!’
Barbara grinned and leaned towards her. ‘Worried that you’ve created a monster?’ she asked softly.
‘Well, you’ve got to admit it was a shock.’
‘It certainly was. But if it weren’t for poor Daisy and Heather both being so upset, I’d have to say I rather enjoyed it. Ellis was appalling from the moment we arrived, so condescending and full of himself. And he has a weird effect on Heather – she’s been racing around like a fart in a colander all day. I would have liked to punch him myself.’
Jill rested her head on the sofa back and closed her eyes. ‘I know what you mean. But whatever do we do now?’
‘Wait for Heather to come back down, either with or without Ellis. There’s nothing else we can do.’
They didn’t have to wait long. Moments later, they heard a door open upstairs.
‘I won’t be back until they’ve gone,’ Ellis shouted, slamming the door behind him. He ran down the stairs, casting a furious glance at Jill and Barbara. ‘I believe George’s car is parked behind mine,’ he said coldly to Barbara. ‘Please move it. I need to get out.’
Barbara looked around for her bag.
‘I’ll do it, Barb,’ Jill said, handing her the bag and getting up. ‘Just give me the keys,’ and she stalked out of the front door ahead of Ellis without giving him a sideways glance.
‘I can’t believe I did that,’ Adam said later, ‘but I’m really glad I did.’