He stands. "There is a balcony that overlooks the water. Come on."
I follow behind him until we reach the balcony that he was referring to. I walk through the door and he shuts the sliding glass door behind me. "There is a reason we're friends, you know."
"Well, feel free to remind me. I seem to have forgotten somewhere in the midst of you fucking my sister."
He smacks the back of my head. "Just because you're the groom doesn't mean you don't deserve it. Here," he says, pulling the small box from his inner jacket pocket and pointing the opening me.
I take one from the box, waiting for the lighter. He places one between his lips and returns the box to his pocket, before pulling out a lighter and bringing it to the tip of his cigarette. "Why are we fucking friends?"
He hands me the lighter as he pulls a drag off the cigarette. I place the filter to my lips and light it, sucking the end until my chest expands. Then I inhale. My head falls back as I hold it in my lungs. Damn, that's good. "Because I'm the only one that stood by your ass when you went bat-shit crazy and became a porn star."
"We weren't even really friends in college. I only saw you when you decided to hang around with your cousin."
"Only because you were stuck up that bitch's ass. But still, you're different with this one of what I know. Joel used to talk about you a lot."
"We all have shit we aren't proud of."
"Yeah, that may be, but I'll speak for all of us when I say you finally leaving her was a good thing. Do you know how hard it is to watch a girl cheat on a guy and do nothing because he already knows she does? Joel told me how she ended up a while back. Said he ran into her at a ballgame and she was hardcore reporter. Girls like that may be successful now but one day karma will have its way."
I look at him, curious; because in all the years I've been doing this we've never had this conversation. I guess I just didn't care about a lot of things. Going through the motions became my daily routine. "Since you brought it up, why'd you stick around? Most of my best friends have dropped off the map. Even Joel drifted away. Back then I rarely was around when you were, and suddenly I take off and you were just there."
“Don’t hold it against Joel forever. He’s dealing with his own shit. You two were close. At first it was probably just man-hurt and jealousy that you took off. Then everything happened with Karleigh and he didn’t know how to deal with both. You know he’s been fucked up since her accident. He still asks about you every time I see or talk to him. At some point he’ll return like he never left.”
“Yeah I heard about that. Sucks. I tried to call him but it just wasn’t the same.”
The awkward silence occurs. He takes another hit off his cigarette. "Oh,” he says and picks back up with the previous conversation. “You know, I was an LA boy born and raised. It was convenient when you moved. I only went down there to hang out with Joel."
"Bullshit."
"Saxton, I have a soft spot for good men that are used by women. I watched my own dad literally drive himself insane over my stepmom, if that’s what you want to call her. I kind of assumed he knew it was just about the money when he married someone half his age, but obviously for him it was love and her lifestyle. I mean who the fuck hits on her husband's son? A hot girl my age and a quick lay does not reign over fucking blood. Bottom line, I saw someone that needed a friend so I was one, minus judgment on your choice of coping mechanism for the very thing that sent you running. That's just me, man."
“Is that why you keep ending up with independent girls like Meredith and my sister?”
“Probably. They just appeal to me more than the rest.”
I utilize the brief silence to gather my thoughts.
"I still have fears, despite everything," I say, finally honest with someone about what's going on in my head.
"Like what?"
"What if five years from now I'm not enough? She's beautiful, she's young, and she has everything to offer someone. What if I piss her off and she realizes she can do so much fucking better." I take a long drag off my cigarette. "I'm not sure I'd survive it a second time around. It fucks with your head, your heart, and really wipes out your ego."
I put out my cigarette and he hands me another. I take it, well, because why the hell not. I need to get over my nerves now instead of looking like an ass later. "One question is all I'm interested in."
"Which is?"
"Is she worth the risk?"
The fact that I don't even have to think about that startles me a little. "Yes."
He looks at me, legs spread and forearms to his thighs, smoking his own cigarette. "Then nothing else matters. Humans are as controllable as a wild animal. It's impossible. Look at Meredith, for example. I liked her. I really thought things were going somewhere. It wasn't love yet, but it was a whole hell of a lot of liking. Sometimes things just aren't meant to be how we think they are. Then the right one comes along and it all makes sense. Kambry could do that—cheat that is—because nothing is ever certain, but that's why you spend every fucking day showing her that you're the best option. Don't short yourself just because one bitch couldn't keep her legs closed when someone threw her a compliment. Some girls are easy lays for a reason."
"I guess you're right. It's just scary as hell." I stare out at the water, boat watching. This place is a different world. The rich really know how to appeal to the less fortunate.
"You really want to know why I tend to fall for girls like Meredith and your sister?"
That statement grabs my curiosity, since he brought it back up. "Why's that?"
"Because they are self-sufficient. They don't need a man to be happy. They're more worried about acquiring things for themselves and just using a man for a good time than mooching off a guy to live the same lifestyle. Those girls are the ones that you make wives, because they're the ones that see you for what's inside instead of what's in your bank account. Even though I don't know Kambry all that well, I've watched her the few times I've been around her, and that girl is a gold mine. She's funny, she's smart, and her character outwits whatever she's been through prior to meeting you. Meredith told me a few things here and there in conversation, but for whatever reason she's completely head over heels for you, and that's way more than I can say about the first one. I may joke because I'm not ready to take that plunge yet, but if I were you I'd stop questioning it and just do it."
"I'd give up my own fucking heart for her."
"Then do it. Give it up for happiness. One thing I learned from my dad before he went completely whack: there is no greater man than a man in love. Walk down that aisle, say your vows, and never look back. You become the greatest man for her, and nothing can go wrong."
I take a deep breath. I never really doubted anything, but once you've been burned the scar reminds you that it could so easily happen again. I take the last drag off my cigarette and plunge the tip into the cement, putting it out. "What ended up happening with your dad and stepmom?"
"Depressing story. Not one for a wedding. I'll tell you some other time."
The door opens and a blonde with short hair peeks out. "What are you two doing out here? Do you want Tynleigh to kill me?"
"Who are you?" I ask, picking up the other cigarette butt.
"Tynleigh's best friend and also homeowner by reproduction. This is my parents' house."
I stand. "Gotcha. I appreciate the hospitality of letting us use your place. Is it time?"
I pass through the doorway, beside her. She waves her hand in front of her nose. "Almost. Geez. Go put some cologne on. You both smell like an ashtray."
"Yes, ma'am," I say, sarcastically.
"Eww. I'm not old. Don't call me ma'am. Just go before she freaks out that half the wedding party is missing."
I salute her and continue forward. My nerves have subsides thanks to a special asshole that is giving love advice when he's fucking my sister. I glance back at him. "What are your intentions with T anyway?"
"Fuck her till she lets me go. I can't sp
eak for what may happen along the way."
"Seriously," I say. "That's the answer you're going to give her brother?"
"Would you rather me lie and then it not work out? We live on opposite coastlines for fucks sake. I don't know what she'll decide when it’s time to go back. Independent woman. Do you not remember this conversation?"
"Fine. I'm cutting you some slack. If you fuck up somehow I know where you live."
He grins at me. "I wouldn't expect anything less."
"God, sometimes I hate you."
"I'd still be your best friend."
I shake my head, continuing back to the room we've been assigned to. He’s probably right. He’s been here this whole time. I'm kind of the shitty friend to not know any of the things we've discussed. Before Kambry I was a shitty everything: son, brother, lover, and friend. I appreciate her more than she'll ever know. She's the person that woke me up from a long sleep. She's the woman that stole my heart. She's the woman that will forever call me hers. I'm so ready to make her mine . . . for the rest of our lives.
Kambry
I stare at myself in the mirror, wearing this new white dress. I take a deep breath. In a few short hours I'll be married to the greatest man I've ever known. He'll be mine forever. I'm not sure why I was given this blessing, but I'll never take it for granted.
I'm so ready. I thought he was going to let me have it last night after the lap dances, but instead, he took me home and tucked me into bed like an honorable man would do. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed, but there was a point that it made me feel like a princess. I asked him to get in bed with me, but instead he kissed me on the forehead, told me he'd be on the couch to keep a promise, and that he'd make up for it tomorrow, meaning tonight. He's always the best balance. I just hope I'm always enough for him. I never want him to be bored of me, or what we have.
"How you feeling?"
I glance at Meredith through the mirror as she walks up behind me. "Good. I'm ready. I really do love him, Meredith. I know you probably—"
"Enough," she interrupts. "I wasn't going to try to give you a lecture or talk you out of this, Kam. When a girl knows she just knows. Never second-guess your heart, not for anyone. I was only going to give you something."
My brows crease. "Give me what?"
She rubs my bare shoulders. "Last night when you took off, I gave your dad a piece of my mind for the first time in my life. We aren't kids anymore. He doesn't control you, my parents don't control me, and there is no one we have to answer to, so I finally told him what I thought after all these years, and to be honest, it was the best fucking thing I've ever done."
I blink into the mirror. "And?"
"He said thank you and left. I gave Kyle a piece too, but he just ran off like a little bitch. I was worried about you, until Ben finally called and said you were safe and with them . . . at a strip club. I have much to say about that later, but for now, here."
She hands me an envelope. "What is this?"
"I'm not sure. Your dad left it at the front desk of our hotel for you. I will never treat you like the child they did your entire life. You can make your own decisions and you've done a pretty damn good job so far. I've seen The Notebook and I would never want to be the person that kept a letter from you knowing the consequences it can hold. Just let me know when you're ready, okay?"
I take it. "Okay."
She walks away, leaving me standing in front of this mirror all by myself. I recognize the handwriting on the front immediately. I close my eyes, trying to stop the nerves from forming. "You can read this," I whisper to myself. "It's no big deal. He can't hurt you anymore."
I turn the envelope over and break the seal. I remove the slip of paper from the envelope and open the trifold, reading the contents before I change my mind and throw it away.
Kambry,
I know there are a lot of things to say that you probably don't understand right now. For that, I'm proud of what your mother and I accomplished. It means we did our job in protecting you from the bad things in this world. But with that, I know there are some things that probably need explaining. Kambry, regardless of what you think, I love you, and so does your mother. We may not have always done the right thing in raising you, but we had your best interests at heart. From the day I found out we were having a girl, I panicked, always wanting to protect you from becoming some of the girls I knew in my lifetime. I have always felt responsible for the way you would turn out. That's just being a parent. One day, when you have kids of your own, you'll understand. The world is filled with bad things. As a parent, and as a Christian, you want to protect their innocence for as long as possible. That's what we tried to do with you. Maybe we were a little barbaric at times, but it was all in love; that I promise. As far as the Tumblr account, I shouldn't have been snooping, but when your child runs off in the middle of the night you just want to know that they're safe. I panicked. I no longer had control over the decisions you made. I was merely looking for a Facebook account through a Google search. When I saw what you were doing, it only escalated. I've dealt with the sin of the Internet for a while now, and your mother knows, but when I came across you I just lost it. Maybe I shouldn't have said the things I did, but at the same time, how could I have not? I want you to know your worth, Kambry. You don't have to stoop to that behavior to get away from your mother and I, or to be happy. You don't have to marry the first guy you meet to get back at us. I know you're angry. I've talked to Ben since Meredith, and surprisingly I listened for once. The photo I sent you wasn't mine. Only a truly sick individual would send his daughter a photo of himself in that context. I wanted you to think. It was just something off the web to show you how dangerous situations can get when you post things that should be kept private. My point in coming to New York was to show you that it's so easy for people to find you based off of what you post on the Internet. Be smart, Kambry. It only takes a second for someone to track you down and pull the trigger when the information is so freely available. I don't want to pay for a funeral for one of my children; regardless of what way they're living. Last but not least, I'm not thrilled about what you're about to do. A wedding isn't something you do on the fly. Divorce is real for a lot of people, and you know how your mother and I feel about that. I wanted you to be a little more concerned about the type of person you're going to marry, but with that said, I wouldn't be a Christian if I didn't believe in forgiveness, so, if this is what you see for your life then okay. I'm backing down. I'd rather live with you making choices I don't agree with than to never see you again. Come home, Kambry, even if it's just to visit. Your mother hasn't been the same since you left. We miss you. Somehow, we'll all work this out. I hope we can move past this.
With love,
Your dad.
I crumble the piece of paper in my hand, my eyes starting to water. "You okay?"
I glance at Meredith, standing behind me once again. "I think my dad and I may have just come to terms with each other and life for the first time . . . ever. Saxton was right. I can't just run back and forgive him this easily, though, but over time I think we can have some type of a relationship. I'm not sure yet. Right now he needs to know his behavior isn't okay. He's a hypocrite; doing things he's basically told us he'd shun us for our entire lives. Besides, a phone call would have been enough. I listened the first time until he became unreasonable. But after I'm tired of being angry I'll forgive him and move on, because that's what you do when you love someone, and regardless of the way he's treated me over the course of my life, I love him. He's my dad. When someone wrongs you, you forgive them, over and over, no matter what they've done to you. It's the only right way to live."
She kisses me on the cheek and hugs me. "I'm damn proud of the woman you've become. You've advanced miles in such a short period of time. Don't you ever second guess the type of person you are."
I sink into her. "Thank you for sharing this day with me."
"Wouldn't have missed it for the world, love. You'll al
ways be my best friend. We're in this for life, even if I have to chase you down in your porn mansion." I laugh, the teary eyes disappearing.
"Are we ready?"
I look at Tynleigh. "I think so."
"Wrong," she says. "You have something old, my earrings you wore the other night, something new, the dress, but you're lacking something borrowed and something blue."
"None of that matters?" I question, staring at her.
"Oh yes. Yes it does. We are not starting this marriage out with bad luck. Here," she says, handing me a box. "From the groom." She winks, and my eyes instantly narrow in response.
I grab it and remove the wrapping paper, revealing a large square box made of velvet. I instantly know it's a jewelry box. "Would you tell him to stop spending money on me? Seriously, I don't need this."
"And that's all the more reason why he does it. You don't expect it. Women everywhere would be cursing you right now. Just open the damn box."
I huff. "Fine." I push the top open, revealing a sapphire and diamond crusted necklace sitting inside on a beautifully elegant chain. I rub my thumb over the rather large blue jewel sitting in the center, and close my eyes. "It's beautiful." My eyes open, trying to deal with the emotions quickly piling up. "He doesn't have to do all of this. I will still love him the same."
"Kambry," Tynleigh says. "When a man loves a woman, he'll give her the world, regardless of whether she lets him be a part of it. Your job is to take it, wear it, and show him how much you love it, so he'll do it over and over again."
"But I don't need things to make me happy. I need him."
She grabs the box, removing the necklace, and then places it on my chest, wrapping the chain around my neck to secure it at the back. "We all know. It's easy to see, and also one of the beautiful things that makes us all welcome you into this family so quickly. You're a good girl, Kambry, and you love him whole-heartedly. That's why you'll make the perfect wife for my brother, so sit back and enjoy being treated like a princess. That's the kind of guy he is. It's just been hidden for a while."
Sex Sessions: After The Cut (Camera Tales #2) Page 31