by Noel Coward
The matter clearly stayed on his mind. He had now begun to refer to Fanny as “Rosie O'Grady,” heroine of a Victorian music hall song, “Sweet Rosie O'Grady.” The reference was certainly ironically intended, since Fanny was anything but sweet.
To Lornie (again):
May 4th
But, and here is the point, they will be very very powerful and dangerous enemies. I am now caught up with them to a certain extent and I don't really trust either of them and Rosie's gabbing and lying and intriguing bores and infuriates to such a degree that I would like to ram red hot nails up her flapping Irish nostrils and a large uncooked pineapple up her grotto. I can't bear her and she drives me dotty but, for as much as it is worth, I would rather have her for a friend than an enemy. She has immense power with all of her race and God knows they have power enough in the press and theatre to cause me a great deal of damage. I would love to shake off those clawing, pudgy fingers but I do not want personally to make a definite break unless there is a hard and fast reason for it … I am going to continue to be a dreamer and fluffy and silly as all hell.
Gertie needed to keep busy and she was also determined to reestablish herself at “home” in the United Kingdom. In late 1948 she opened in September Tide, a new play by novelist Daphne du Maurier. Noël, when he saw it that December, hated the play but felt that “Gertie really beyond all praise. I have never seen her play so beautifully or with such heart and truth. She moved me very much. I have quite decided that we must act together again in the autumn.”
Finally, Noël did write a new play for her. It was originally called Home and Colonial—a souffle of a comedy set on his mythical South Sea island British colony of Samolo. In his Diary (April 6, 1949) Noël described it: “Theme—Lady ‘Sandra’ Magnus (Diana Cooper—Edwina Mountbatten), Government House, Samolo, scandal with local Bustamente [local native politician]. There is more to it than that, but it's a heaven-sent opportunity to get in a lot of Jamaican stuff.”
By early May he told Binkie Beaumont and Gertie he'd finished it, only to receive telegrams from both. They were enthusiastic about it but, owing to Gertie's tax situation, she couldn't open in it until the following April—and then she'd want to open in New York rather than London.
“This is disaster,” Noël wrote. “It is typically English and topical and now is the time for it. Gertie might get away with it in America but half the point would be lost.”
Later he decided to meet her halfway. They could put the play on in America—but not in New York (after the experience of Tonight at 8:30)— in, say, December, then bring it to London the following spring of 1950.
17 Fountain House
Park Street
W.i.
June 27th, 1949
Dear Noël,
Rumour hath it, that should I not do your play, you are considering Ethel Merman and Nanette Fabrey [sic]! It conjured up a pretty picture, but I can only presume that these two ladies are vieing with each other for your favour in regard to your new musical.
My dearest love,
GERT
The idea of the play remained in her mind, but other projects took precedence. In the fall she was to make one of her rare film appearances, in Tennessee Williams's The Glass Menagerie,
Cape Playhouse
Dennis on Cape Cod
Massachusetts
September 14th 1949
Hullo dearest,
Well, I am now warding off the day when it will be necessary to leave for the Coast. I have written Binkie about most of the doings and goings on which led to this impasse but hesitated to worry you when you were still busy on Astonished Heart [the film of one of the plays from Tonight at 8:3 o, in which Noël was starring] or whether I would even sign the Hollywood contract. But after the phone calls, flying visits to me up here, and such enthusiasm as has been expressed,plus the “dough” [she received thirty thousand dollars] and the story, which Tenn. has outlined to me since seeing my test—I thought it a good chance to put my shoulder to the wheel and try for an Oscar! Warners are apparently going to make it their “prestige” picture of the year and going after the Academy Award, and even Jane Wyman has taken quite a cut in salary in order to play the lame daughter.
The plan is to make the picture in retrospect showing Amanda's memories of the sort of life she lived down south before she married a good for nothing dreamer and they are talking of making those shots in very faint colour in contrast to her present day drabness.
For the test I was rushed to New York on the Saturday night, alone in a long black and luxurious car—sent by Jack Warner— feeling rather like Mrs. Simpson! I arrived at 7 a.m. (slacks and dark glasses, of course, thought I might as well act like a screen star for a day!) I was ushered into the largest and most expensive suite…where I gulped down a cup of coffee, took a shower and was then whisked off to the studio on 57th St. Irving Rappa [Rapper] was there, there were flowers from Warner and [producer] Jerry Wald and Charlie Feldman in my dressing room—and even the camera man had been flown in from the Coast.
I did the “dress up” scene in costume and sashayed around the ballroom for Laura. I did the scene where she makes the dress for Laura and pads her chest out for the “gentleman caller” and I did the scene where Amanda returns after finding out that Laura has not been going to her shorthand and typing lessons. They had a girl for me to act with and, believe me, it was quite a day, ending at 7 p.m.!!!
Rappa said I did as much work without rehearsal as we would normally do in Hollywood in 2 or 3 weeks.
Strangely enough, I couldn't have felt more tired, or less interested in doing the test or in its result—but such is the way of things that everything turned out to cause a mild sensation. Sooo—the contract is signed and I am expected to be out there by about the 9th or earlier for costumes, wigs, etc., as they are sending a “double” to St. Louis on long shots for location work and we go out there later for close work.
I am now getting a little more excited than I pretend, as it was no small potatoes to beat Bette Davis and Tallulah's tests!! I think they had rather wanted Helen Hayes, too, but I don't think Helen wanted another dose of Hollywood.
After the picture is over some time in late December, Richard and I would like to go away for a few weeks alone, and from then on— well, you and Binkie can consult and we can decide. Actually, I would prefer to do H&C {Home and Colonial} around August in England, so that I could spend the summer up here….
But don't get windy, darling, let's see if I make a good picture or whether I retire from public life in shame!!
Ow are yer, me old cock? Give my love to EVERYBODY—but keep a chunk for yourself first. I have only signed with Warners for this one picture…but have signed with Charlie Feldman for all future stories, which does not commit me to do them unless I want to.
All, all my love
Shirley Picinose
•
THE FILM WAS NOT the success everyone had hoped for, and neither Warners nor any of the other studios was beating down her door for a follow-up. It was clear to both Fanny and Gertie that the future—whatever it might hold—held it on Broadway or Shaftesbury Avenue rather than Hollywood.
So, once again, Home and Colonial was back on the Lawrence agenda. From vacation in Florida she wrote to Jack Wilson:
Coquina Cottage
Naples-on-the-Gulf
—? February, 1950
Dear Jack,
Just got the M.S., the original of which I made a special trip to Paris to see the Summer before last. I thought it most gay and very French; and next I read an adaptation which he himself [Noël] was not too crazy about, saying that it really would be quicker and more satisfactory to write a new play himself.
Gertie is referring to Andre Roussin's hit play The Little Hut, which Noël tried to adapt in 1948 as a quid pro quo for the Paris playwright adapting Present Laughter into French zsjoyeux Chagrins—in which Noël appeared in Paris that year.
As you may know, we had a reading (sup
posedly secret and private) of H&C at Binkie's in London—Binkie and I really thought that the reading was to be for just us—but there was Graham, Gladys, Lorn, I believe Alan Webb and Joyce Carey.
Well, it was not a “really” private reading, was it? [The reading took place on June 13, 1949.]
The play, as far as I was concerned, was not discussed, neither were its own merits, except that Binkie said to me afterwards (as did Noël at Whitecliffs) that there was “work to be done on it.”
Since then I have heard no word either from Noël or Binkie about the play, outside of rumours to the effect that Noël was planning to do Graham's musical {Ace of Clubs] first. Next I heard via the London mails that Kay Hammond and John Clements were to do H&C but not a peep out of le maitrel!
Gertie continued:
I have just received a letter from Binkie saying, “I don't know what to say about H&C. There are hold-ups all the way round, which of course is very exasperating.
Personally I do feel that it was up to Noël to tell me his plans in-as-much as it was he who gave out the statement originally that he had written the play for me.
Well, this is all for your records, and I shall read the Island play with much interest, especially as Nancy Mitford was Noël's neighbour at Whitecliffs!! [Mitford finally and successfully adapted La Petite Hutte as The Little Hut,]
Bless you for writing and please keep this confidentially between us. I am really rather amazed by Noël's brush-off!!
Fondly
Gee
She then wrote to Noël:
Election Day (February 23rd 1950)
Dear, dear Noley,
I had written Jack from Florida because he had sent me that Island play—and I tried to explain to him that, whilst it was a very funny play in Paris, it did not travel well. I also opened my heart to him a bit about H&C—only for the same reason that one could get desperate on going to Confession only to find the Cathedral closed for repairs!!
Well, he wrote me a sweet letter (after showing you mine) and it seems that you and I have been in a state with each other.
There is no need to repeat my letter to Jack—you read it—and Binkie will tell you that I have repeatedly asked “What is happening to Noël's play?”
But what is important is that…you feel that I had been ill-mannered and thoughtless in not saying thank you when you wrote the play. If that is the case and I have hurt you, you must know it was not intentional. Surely you of all people know me to be most generous and lavish in my expressions and to have slighted you would never have occurred to me.
I came to “Whitecliffs” (alright, I brought Daphne [du Maurier]) but you had people there too and after lunch, when I thought we might talk—YOU went to BED—and then you slept like an old dodo until / came and woke you!!
You knew I was pleased about the play, but we never got down to any chats like chums because you were filming [The Astonished Heart] and I was on the wing. Lornie will tell you that I called you often and you knew how thrilled I was about having you on the B'cast. [She had a BBC radio show at the time and they had played the love scene from Private Lives,]
However—I was free to talk, not to criticize but to talk about the play, whereas you were working mornings and going to bed early on your picture. It all seems too bad that we should get into such a mess…and so I write to send my love—my deepest thanks and all the success possible when you do it with Hammond and Clements. Maybe the same initials are a good sign.
I also regret that you are offended by my references to “Graham's musical.” It was not a malicious quote—it's just that habit has made all untitled plays “Somebody's musical” or “So-and-so's play”.
Well, that's all that!! The election has driven everybody crazy here—it's a great night for British subjects!!!
By the way—what has 2 balls underground, 2 wheels above ground, and travels at 8 miles an hour?
You tell me.
Fondly as ever
GERT
On the same day she had written to Jack: “I am planning to go home this Spring in something—but do you really think Island Fling [the latest title for Home and Colonial] would do the trick? I don't, you know, really.”
The rumor Gertie had heard had, for once, some basis in fact. Frustrated by what he saw as Gertie's dithering, Noël had offered the play to John Clements and his wife, Kay Hammond (the original Elvira in Blithe Spirit) the previous October.
It was now early 1950, though, and the timing was distinctly out of joint. There had been a British general election—the one Gertie refers to—which the ruling Labour Party had won with a vastly decreased majority, and it was obvious that their time in office was running out. A second election was inevitable in the near future and it was generally believed that Churchill's Conservative Party would be returned. Therefore, a light comedy that hinged on Labour being in power would start as yesterday's news.
Regretfully, Clements and Hammond decided to pass.
In June 1950 Noël had encouraged Binkie to offer Home and Colonial to Laurence Olivier and Vivien Leigh. Binkie reported that they disliked it intensely. It was “old-fashioned Noël Coward” and would do Olivier great harm at a sensitive point in his career. With a sigh, Noël set “poor Home and Colonial” aside once more and moved on.
Meanwhile, Fanny Holtzmann's mental wheels were once again spinning on behalf of her client:
CLARIDGE'S LONDON
August 5, 1950
Noël dear,
We must have crossed over the Atlantic…my trip was delightful; I hope yours was too. But it is getting settled or rather not getting settled on arrival which is so exhausting. This change of time ordeal is awful on the body; if one could remain in bed and adjust one's self it would be okay—oh, well, I must not complain—we saw Ace of Clubs the first evening and loved every moment of it. I laughed and laughed … it was pure fun. What a long way Graham has gone! He is magnificent. How hard he works and what a good account he gives of himself. The audience went wild over him the night we were there. Sail Away should be on the Hit Parade. It is a natural.
She then gets to the real subject:
Noël dear, I do wish I had come here before you left. I wanted to talk to you about Gertrude. Everyone wants her for films and she wants to come to England. I can hardly blame her for that. She is a success in her Hollywood film but her next one must be one portraying the Gertrude Lawrence Noël Coward has presented to the world in such plays as Private hives. Which gave me an idea—and I shall try to stick to it and not go off in a thousand directions.
Private hives is the perfect vehicle for Gertrude. Of course, you will not play in it. But would you be interested in a deal whereby you do an up-to-date version of the screenplay for Gertrude? If so, we could dictate terms for an installment payment annually, probably, as you had with Brief Encounter, for example. The terms are secondary; the idea is up to you.
Yes, I know Metro owns it. If you can do an adaptation in Jamaica now, I believe a great film can be made. My job would be to get the proper producer to do it and I believe we can get either MGM or Jerry Wald, perhaps, to acquire it from them. Ordinarily they refused to sell but they may this time give in. I have been talking to Ben Goetz while we dine together in his apartment, eating the food you would appreciate sent by L. B. Mayer.
Will you please let me know if you would consider doing a screenplay for Gertrude of Private Lives or any other of your plays? Time is short as she must report to Rodgers & H[ammerstein] in February. Private Lives seems so simple if you do the screenplay. Your early “NO” or possibly “YES” would be appreciated.
Noël dear, I don't want you to feel I am imposing in any way—the suggestion is humbly offered just in case you might feel in the mood to pick up the story of Elyot and Amanda any way you please and put them on celluloid—but before you do so, I shall have to get the film rights to the producer. Notice I say nothing about your directing the film in November? In England or Hollywood? All you would have to do is wr
ite the screenplay.
The chances are that if you say NO, Jerry Wald will get Nancy Mitford or someone like her, or perhaps ask Terence Rattigan to do the screenplay for money galore … I say “Jerry Wald,” because he is searching desperately for a Noël Coward type of play for Gertrude as his first big picture under his new independent contract.
Jerry Wald, who produced The Glass Menagerie, had made innumerable tests of Gertie as a Glamour Girl and is delighted with the results. He feels she has that same quality on the screen as she has on the stage. I must say the flashbacks in Glass Menagerie prove that— she looks exquisite and will make the perfect Amanda on the screen as she did behind your footlights.