by Erik Swill
“Work is keeping me real busy this week, mate. How ’bout I just see you at the club Saturday night instead?”
“Bloody hell, you call a lot. You gotta stop being so clingy. Don’t you know anyone else? I’ll let you know when I’m free.”
One lame excuse after another, and Adrian finally understood. The man he had lost his virginity to was not to be his happily ever after prince. For the guy, it had been just a prolonged lead-up to a fuck.
Mason had been on hand to hear it all. Adrian had leaned on Mason throughout his heartbreak in what turned out to be a significant transitional period in his life that shaped his view of men and relationships. Mason had encouraged him to not take it so hard and to just write it off as a beginner’s mistake. Mason’s own foray into the scene hadn’t been any better.
“Try and give him some space if that’s what he wants. You’re a catch, mate. He’ll call. Don’t worry,” Mason had advised Adrian.
“I think I love him,” Adrian had responded, full of angst, highlighting just how immature and inexperienced in life and love he had been at that point.
For Adrian, this first rejection taught him to remain emotionally distant from the guys he met, have some fun with them, and then move on before he could get hurt. This was the lesson he had taken to heart. Adrian made his rounds, bedding as many guys as he was able to. After all, when a young, confident, and attractive guy approaches you on a Saturday night offering a good time at his place without any strings attached, why would anyone refuse?
Some guys made the mistake of getting attached. But Adrian would have none of that. He knew what happened to those who let themselves lose sight of the end goal—enjoying life without burden. Adrian wasn’t cruel so much as stern with these guys. If he liked them, they would hook up on occasion throughout the year, but rarely would it be consecutively. Having sex a few times did not equate to boyfriend status. At least, that was what he had learned.
A couple of years later, though, the well had virtually dried up. The number of guys in Brisbane’s gay community looking for fun was not as abundant as Adrian imagined it to be when he first came out. They were either already attached and not looking or were looking but had already been tried and passed on by Adrian.
Worse, though, were the new guys to the scene. Fresh faces were rare, and it seemed if he didn’t connect with them shortly after they joined the scene, they would be lost causes to him. People talked. Talked about him. Some called him a player. And that was a turnoff for many of the guys populating the bars and clubs, thinking they were going to find true love over a pint of Foster’s.
Migrants, tourists, and those who seldom went to the bars had been the primary source of Adrian’s sexual encounters for most of the past year. And while few of them were interested in anything more than a one-off encounter as well, it annoyed Adrian that he had to pick from the crust of the scene. The market wasn’t big enough in Brisbane. A short drive down to the Gold Coast gave him decent pickings during peak tourist season, but he had already cycled through most of the “regulars” there.
He was tired of his near-pariah status in Brisbane’s gay scene. He operated like many of the guys there and would fall back on willing repeat performances. But he wasn’t fulfilled having to scrape the bottom of the barrel just to find someone new. And he wasn’t about to settle down with one of his favorite fucks either. He needed a break from the drama and politics that came with Brisbane’s scene.
That’s when Bali came into play. International travel had never been a desire of Adrian’s like it had been with Mason, who had pushed him to take a trip to Bali together for years. Mason worked, saved up his money, and then blew it all on a trip to the Thai beaches or for the chance to slum around Europe on a budget tighter than a virgin’s ass. That seemed like a pointless circle of going nowhere in life. Sure, the stories and photos were usually interesting, but he didn’t like the notion of spending everything he earned on something like that. Besides, living so close to the Gold Coast made it a hard sell to take a tropical vacation. The beaches and tourism scene were already good. Why pay to go far for something you can get just down the road?
With Australia’s proximity to Bali, though, and the rise of budget air travel, even Adrian found the offer too good to resist. An ad on the sidebar of his email highlighted tickets for as low as forty dollars. While it initially sounded like a scam, he had heard about friends getting airfare on that airline for ridiculously low prices before. He clicked the link and picked the closest international destination he could think of—Bali.
He dusted off the passport he had used six years earlier for a trip with his mother to visit his nan in Bristol, keyed in his personal and banking details, and seventy dollars later, he had purchased return airfare to Bali. It wasn’t the forty dollars they had advertised, but it was good enough. Adrian had acted so impulsively he hadn’t even considered whether he would be allowed to take that week off at work. His boss was surprised when he asked for the time off, since Adrian had never taken any personal days before. But his boss assured Adrian they would cover for him. It had been as easy as that.
It got even easier after he told his mother about his planned trip just a few days before leaving. She had been excited for him to finally be getting around and exploring the world a little as she had done when she was his age. She had even wired him three hundred dollars to help with his expenses. While that may not have lasted long in Europe, it afforded him nice accommodation and a few good meals along the way.
Seeing a new corner of the world was of secondary consequence. Bali was going to be his chance to reinvigorate his slumped sex life and to lose himself in a wave of fun on the cheap. Tourists flocked to the aptly named Island of the Gods to have a great time. That’s what he had planned to do. But that was the only planning he had put into this trip.
III
ADRIAN ARRANGED for Ketut to come back and get him after he had finished making his breakfast rounds. He had nothing planned for the day other than to see a little bit of the island. It was to his advantage that Ketut walked in his front door earlier in the morning, offering a tour of the island and his body. Bali really was magical like that.
After hurrying through his breakfast, Adrian changed into a clean singlet and a pair of shorts, then walked around outside his bungalow to take some pictures while waiting for Ketut to return. The layout of the bungalow at the edge of the rice field was impressive. There were decorative stone fountains, patches of bamboo mixed with tropical flowers, some sort of fruit tree, flags made from colorful cloth tied longwise along thin bamboo poles, and a statue of one of the local gods. Adrian was trying to think where he could find anything along these lines back in Australia when a motorbike pulled up to the front of the bungalow.
Ketut hopped off his bike and greeted Adrian with hands pressed together and held up to his face. He explained that he needed to collect the breakfast dishes from the bungalows and would return after he dropped them off. Adrian smiled and shrugged.
“See you soon.”
Adrian decided he would walk around the neighborhood while waiting for Ketut to return. He hadn’t actually seen much of the town aside from what he saw the previous night after being dropped off in front of the bungalow. Coming from touristy Kuta, Ubud was a comparatively quiet town at night. But its attractions were not the beach party scene that made its southern neighbor notorious. This was where tourists came to see the arts, the music, the dance dramas, and appreciate the slower tempo of life.
As such, the first store Adrian saw along the main road was a small shop that sold paintings on cloth of the Balinese landscape. He noticed there were no prices on any of them. Figures. He stepped back out just as the girl who worked there started to approach him. She called after him, but he didn’t look back. Something else had caught his eye.
The next place had a slender young man dressed in the traditional Balinese clothing, setting his spiritual offerings on the steps in front. Adrian didn’t even notice what t
ype of shop it was. He was mesmerized by the figure in the middle of his prayer ritual. His thick forearms were raised and lowered repeatedly; he was clearly deep in thought or prayer. Adrian wasn’t a very religious person, but he could see it meant something to many Balinese. Perhaps this was to the god of commerce, Adrian thought cynically. He waited for the guy to finish his prayers before approaching him.
Before Adrian could say anything, the object of his stares finished and immediately turned to Adrian. “Yes? Maybe looking in my shop?”
Adrian looked up at the sign to see it was a clothing store that mostly sold women’s clothing. “Oh, uh… maybe not. I don’t look good wearing ladies’ clothes, mate.”
“Maybe for your girlfriend?”
“No, no girlfriend.”
“No girlfriend? But you so handsome. How come no girlfriend?”
Adrian apparently took too long to reply.
“Got boyfriend? Maybe buying something for his mother? She will like.”
Adrian appreciated the guy’s persistence, even if he was starting to feel uncomfortable from the barrage of questions. He decided to turn the tables around.
“I’m not looking for a relationship that lasts more than a night or two. What about you? Got a boyfriend? Or are you free tonight?” Adrian held back cracking a big grin as he spoke. He was sure his bold line of questioning would choke up his new friend. He was wrong.
“I have wife and daughter. But maybe we can see about tonight.”
Adrian blurted out a laugh. He had not expected that answer. He reached his arm around the guy and patted him on the back. “You’re a funny one. What’s your name?”
“My name is Ketut.”
“Really?” Adrian shot back in exasperation. “I know someone named Ketut. It must be a common name in Indonesia.”
“No, not common name. But maybe a little common in Bali.”
A motorbike pulled up along the curb in front of Adrian. He glanced at the stud as he got off the bike. The tight, black T-shirt contrasted nicely with his tanned skin. So far, Ubud had been filled with nothing but hot local guys, something he wasn’t going to complain about. The biker spoke quickly and harshly to Ketut. After a brief exchange of words that Adrian was completely clueless to, Ketut turned to Adrian, wished him a good day, and excused himself to go back into his shop.
Adrian wasn’t sure what was going on until the biker took off his helmet and addressed Adrian. “Are you ready to go?”
“Ketut? I almost didn’t recognize you. You changed clothes.”
He smiled. “If you don’t like, I could take them off again. Maybe that way you will recognize me?”
Adrian noticed Ketut’s distinctive personality, something real and not manufactured by outside pretenses. Their morning encounter—minus the sex, he presumed—had been the typical Balinese hospitality of excessive politeness, respect, and friendliness. Now, having changed into normal clothes and being “off the clock,” Ketut was freer to be himself. And why not? They had already shared a shower and a fuck. There really wasn’t any need for stilted formalities anymore.
As Adrian jumped on the back of the motorbike, he looked into the shop to see the other Ketut staring back at the two of them. “What was that about?”
“I’m sorry?”
“With the guy in the shop. Ketut. The other Ketut. You seemed pissed at him.”
“No, nothing. He’s not a good man. He cheats people. And cheats on his wife and child. Very dishonest man. I didn’t want him to… do anything bad to you.”
“Did you think I was going to buy some of his women’s clothing?”
Ketut joked before putting his helmet back on. “I don’t know. Are you into that? Wearing women’s clothing?” Ketut revved the engine and merged into traffic without looking. “Sorry, I don’t have an extra helmet for you. It’s not far, though.”
Ketut hadn’t been kidding when he said it wasn’t far. They hadn’t been on the road for more than a minute before he pulled over into a motorbike parking lot. He removed his helmet and shook his straight hair before patting it back down with his hands.
“Before the tour starts, I thought you may want to check out the town market. You won’t get back to Ubud until after the market closes tonight.”
“Now or never, ya?”
“Sorry, what?”
Adrian shrugged. “Okay, let’s check out the market.”
“Maybe you can find souvenirs here? They will be more expensive at the other places you visit today.”
Adrian had little interest in souvenir shopping, but he did appreciate that Ketut was looking out for him and thinking ahead. The market itself was open-air and spread across two levels on the corner of the main street across from what looked like a palace. As Adrian stepped inside beneath the sarongs hanging over the entrance, he was impressed with the maze-like structure clogged with sunburned tourists and busy locals going about their business.
They walked around for a few minutes, browsing the thousands of sarongs on display, key chains dangling by the tens of thousands, and the wood-carved dildo bottle openers at every other stall. Who would use that—either end? Adrian enjoyed seeing what was on display but was growing bored quickly. He hated shopping.
Adrian felt uncomfortable in large crowds. It was more a feeling of annoyance, though, rather than claustrophobia. He lost his patience quickly with people walking in front of him who stopped and blocked the path for seemingly no reason. That happened a lot at this market. He inhaled deeply while lifting his face, as if struggling to breathe in the last of the fresh air in the narrow aisles. A flapping string of colored flags above gave Adrian an idea.
“C’mon,” he said while grabbing the sleeve of Ketut’s shirt and tugging him forward through the gridlock of tourists and souvenir vendors.
Ketut followed closely behind even after Adrian lost his grip on Ketut’s sleeve. They climbed the stairs to the second level of the market, where tailors and cobblers and the less successful souvenir vendors set up their shops. This second level was practically deserted compared to the ground floor.
Adrian stopped at the edge of the railing overlooking the activity below. The woman who operated the shop closest to where Adrian had stopped approached and invited him to come over and look at her tourist trinkets. Ketut politely waved her off and joined Adrian as he glanced across the market from above.
“Now I know.”
“Know what?” Ketut asked quizzically.
“What it feels like to be an ant. Look at them,” he motioned to the frenzy of activity below. “It’s like an ant farm. The vendors are mostly selling the same things. The tourists are all buying the same things. And there’s so much energy buzzing around. I mean, what if this was just a single store filled with tourist knickknacks and nobody had to fuss about moving around and haggling over the price? Wouldn’t that make life easier for everyone here?”
Ketut considered the question before speaking. “Then why bother to come at all? This is the way we do it here. If you want to go to one store to buy everything you need without much human interaction, you might as well do it back home.” He paused. “I think it’s beautiful. I’ve never come up here just to stare at everyone in the market. It’s like a dance drama with too many dancers on stage at the same time.”
Adrian nodded. He still liked his idea for the sake of convenience, but Ketut made a valid point too. He also appreciated the sights and smells. He couldn’t see where in the crowd it came from, but someone was deep-frying something below. And the colors of the fruits and vegetables, the sarongs and beach towels, the hollering in broken English to negotiate the best price, the masks of various shapes, sizes, and colors hanging on walls—this wasn’t something he could imagine back in Australia.
“Don’t you want to get any souvenirs?”
Adrian rolled his eyes. “Some of this stuff looks cool. But I have a hard time picturing it in my house. Do you have masks hanging on the walls of your house?”
Ketut laughed
. “I don’t. I guess it’s not for everyone.”
“Do you come here often?”
“I always bring my tour groups here. It really is a good place to get souvenirs. And most tourists—most normal tourists—like that sort of thing.” Ketut smirked while gently elbowing Adrian in jest. “I help them bargain for better prices.”
“Right, but what about when you aren’t working? Like, is this your mall?”
“Ya, and just over there between the puppets and the bamboo baskets is the KFC.”
Adrian looked before realizing Ketut was just joking. He gave him a you-got-me look. “So what do you do for fun here? Where do you go?”
“My tours start in the morning and run into the evening usually. And I don’t exactly get weekends off. But if I have some free time, I go to Denpasar to meet up with my friends. Most of them live in the state capital.”
“Is it far from here?”
“About forty-five minutes. Why? Do you want to go there? It isn’t a very touristy city.”
Adrian shrugged. “I will leave the destinations up to you. If you think it is a not-to-miss place to visit, then why not? I’m just curious what it is you do for fun. Do you like the beach? The clubs in Kuta? The gay area in Semanak?”
“Seminyak,” Ketut corrected Adrian’s pronunciation.
“Ya, that one. I don’t know. What do you do?”
“Like I said, I don’t really get a lot of free time. So when I’m not giving a tour, I relax at home. Listen to music. Help my parents around the house. The usual stuff.”
“What music do you like?”
“I don’t think you know any of the local singers. But for Western artists, I like Katy Perry. Her songs are fun.”
“No shit? I like her songs too. My mates laugh at me for it. But I don’t care.” Adrian started to hum the song “Roar” while jerking his neck rhythmically to the beat.
While Adrian started to get into his song, Ketut motioned for them to head back to the motorbike and leave the market. As they pushed their way through the crowd to get to the exit, Adrian started to insert some of the lyrics he remembered into his humming. He wasn’t shy about singing while his body was sliding up against dozens of sweaty tourists and locals as they went about their business. Adrian winked at Ketut each time he looked back to make sure Adrian didn’t get too far behind. By the time they reached the parking lot, both he and Ketut were belting out the lyrics, indifferent to what everyone around them was thinking.