by Erik Swill
VI
ROAD QUALITY varied greatly in Bali, as Adrian found out. After getting past the section of road that looked like a mini–meteor shower had hit it, the rest of the roads they had traveled on were fairly smooth, if overly congested and too narrow. Temples and houses and even convenience stores sat right on the shoulder of the streets just about everywhere they had been. Road expansion really wasn’t possible. Then again, Adrian had never imagined a motorbike could fit an entire family of five while zigzagging through traffic. Bali was full of surprises.
“We’re here.”
Adrian snapped out of his daydream. Ketut had hopped off the motorbike and was headed toward the sea. After glancing at his new surroundings, however, Adrian could see why someone would be in a hurry to rush out and get onto the beach. It was beautiful.
Ketut hadn’t been joking earlier when he said black sand beach. Without even knowing what the beach was even called, Adrian was impressed. There were no other tourists around—only a handful of fishermen preparing their outriggers for a trip out to sea and some kids watching them. Adrian could see a few other outriggers already about half a mile off the coast, casting their nets into the water. The line of boats on the steep shore was photogenic. He snapped a quick shot with his phone.
“Do you come here often?”
“I have brought a few tour groups here before.”
“No, no. I mean, for yourself. Do you like the beach?”
“There isn’t much to do here, really. There’s good fishing in this area.”
“Do you like to fish?”
“I don’t know. I’ve never tried.” Ketut shrugged. “Maybe?”
“I would invite you to go fishing, but I never liked the idea of sticking a shrimp or worm on the hook. Seems cruel.”
“What do you think the fish is thinking after you’ve hooked it? Or just before it lands in the frying pan?”
Adrian never considered himself to be among the smartest people he knew. But he also never felt so uneducated around anyone either. Yet he had nothing but respect for the way Ketut showed him a different perspective to his long-held beliefs. He almost looked forward to the way Ketut would respond to the things he said. It was invigorating getting to step into Ketut’s shoes when he would offer a glimpse of the way his world looked. This was something Adrian never encountered before. He and his friends all shared the same views on the important things in life for the most part. And Adrian wasn’t ever friends with the “smart kids” while in school. Ketut didn’t come across as being a Mensa scholar to him and certainly wasn’t trying to show off what he knew. It was all very natural and, for Adrian, that was a turn-on.
“Let’s go over here,” Ketut suggested and started walking toward a decrepit shack near the water.
Removing his flip-flops as he walked, Adrian felt his feet sink into the ashy sand, warmed by the heat of the sun. There was a strong breeze on the shore that likely kept the temperature of the sand down enough to walk on it. Otherwise, it probably would have burned his feet. Still, he decided to put his flip-flops back on after noticing all the trash strewn around, including some rusted fishing hooks. Bali was pretty, but there wasn’t much effort made to keep it clean.
By this time, Ketut had disappeared from sight. Adrian continued walking over to the shack at the edge of a little cemented outcrop, hoping that was where he was. Despite the trash, this was one of the nicest beaches Adrian had ever been on. It was unique, to say the least.
“Over here,” Ketut shouted from behind the wooden wall of the shack. Adrian could see him on the other side of the wall as several boards were missing from the structure.
“What happened to this place? A hurricane?” Adrian jested as he stepped into the partially roofed building.
“Tsunami.”
“Whoa, what? Like a real tsunami? Hit Bali? When was that? Does it happen often?”
“Don’t worry. It was last year. It doesn’t happen often. And it wasn’t very big either.”
“How do you know? Did you see it?”
Ketut rolled his eyes. “It couldn’t have been very big because part of this restaurant is still standing.”
The pair glanced up and around at the flimsy structure. The concrete floor was cracked and hung off the edge of the outcrop. The wooden walls were only partially intact, with the side facing the ocean completely gone. The zinc roof had two slats that were gone as well.
“Barely,” Adrian commented.
Ketut sat down on what likely had been part of the kitchen’s food preparation area. He shook his head as he watched Adrian turning his head repeatedly to inspect the crumbling shack that sheltered them from the view of the fishermen farther down the beach. “You are so uptight. Relax.”
Adrian looked over at him like he was crazy. “We’re sitting in a building that is falling down right on a beach that a tsunami hit.”
“Don’t forget that huge volcano behind us erupted to create this beach we’re on right now too.”
“See!” That was all Adrian was capable of getting out of his mouth as he stuttered.
Ketut was reassuring, though. “I have lived here every day of my life. Like most Balinese. And yet, we’re still here. I’m sure you can survive for a few days here too.”
Adrian realized he had been overreacting but still half jokingly continued his line of paranoia. “Other than volcanoes and tsunamis, what else should I worry about?”
Ketut stood abruptly and turned to face Adrian square-on before answering. “Maybe me?”
Adrian started to query what he meant but had his mouth covered by Ketut’s wet lips. The kiss was firm but not forced. Adrian felt if he leaned back a few inches, Ketut would have let their lips part. But Adrian didn’t break the connection. Instead, he brushed his tongue across the rim of Ketut’s lips. This encouraged Ketut to explore Adrian’s mouth with his own tongue.
Sitting on a beach of black sand in the tropics, eyes closed but listening to the waves hit the shore, lips locked with a very horny, young guy—Adrian was in heaven. Ketut’s long and slender fingers worked their way to the button and zipper of Adrian’s shorts, then expertly undid them before massaging the quickly expanding bulge in his briefs. Ketut slid his fingers, one by one, inside the pouch to gain access to Adrian’s penis, which had reached breaking point under the tightly drawn fabric of his briefs. The exposure to the breeze was a welcome relief from the damp recesses between his legs. This very well could have been paradise.
Adrian opened his eyes. With the view out to sea directly in front of him specked with traditional fishing boats and his hair blowing gently with the cooling breeze, he couldn’t imagine a more romantic place to make love with someone. He then looked down to another beautiful sight—this tight-bodied hunk worshiping his cock. Adrian hadn’t even needed to say a single word to make this scenario play out.
His hands had been roaming between Ketut’s shoulders and the back of his head, as if he had needed any further encouragement. But Adrian let his hands drop to his side. After a while longer, Ketut stopped to look up at Adrian. His look, however, was more of one lost in thought rather than lost in ecstasy. He pulled himself off Adrian’s lap and looked around to make sure nobody else had come close to their shack while he was distracted by blowing Adrian.
“Good. Nobody has noticed us here yet.” Adrian only smiled at Ketut, prompting him to question his odd response. “Are you enjoying this?”
“Mmm” was all Adrian said before going back into another state of contemplativeness. Hidden away from the others on the beach, it was then Adrian realized Ketut and all the others like him in Bali had to live closeted lives, working under the shade of secrets and lies and sneaking around to get what they wanted. In that moment, he pitied Ketut. It was not the kind of life Adrian would ever have wanted. While Australia, particularly the state he lived in, had its socially conservative or homophobic streaks, it was, by and large, a safe place for gays. And it wasn’t simply because many Australians were supportive
of gay rights or anything like that. Rather, they were in favor of basic human decency and respect for others, regardless of which hole they preferred to put their dicks into while in the bedroom. Or on a black sand beach, as it may.
Adrian wondered about Ketut and what his quirks were about concealing his sexuality. Indonesia was predominantly Muslim, but insular Bali was Hindu. Neither was particularly welcoming of homosexuals, but Balinese social society seemed to be more accepting of difference due to the large numbers of tourists from all over the world. When you’ve seen it all with your own eyes, you can’t really feign ignorance.
Still, it saddened him that Ketut had to sneak around for sexual enjoyment. Adrian’s sex life was essentially an open book back in Brisbane. The whole scene knew who he had slept with since he had virtually slept with almost everyone. The idea of keeping secrets there was laughable.
There was so much more he wanted to know about Ketut. They hadn’t even known each other for a full day, but he was intrigued. He saw depth in Ketut he hadn’t seen in other guys. Or hadn’t allowed himself to see. Was he starting to relax his views on getting emotionally close to other guys? Or was Ketut just a unique flavor of the week? Adrian couldn’t remember the last time he thought about one of his fucks for longer than a passing moment. There had never been any reason to want to go any further than a fuck or two. What was it about Ketut that had him questioning the life he had lived up to this point?
“Adrian? Earth calling Adrian.”
He blinked repeatedly and looked around again to get his bearings. Ketut was snuggled up against him holding his now limp dick in his hand. He must have zoned out completely.
“Welcome back to Earth, spaceman. What happened to you?”
“I don’t know. What did I miss?”
“Well….” Ketut considered his words carefully. “I was sucking your dick. Doing a really good job too. And then you just went limp.”
“Oh” was all he replied, as if it was to be expected. In fact, it really surprised Adrian. He had never had trouble getting or staying hard while having sex. Even if the guy was not physically his type or had an unpleasant smell, Adrian had never had any issues in getting his gear to function. He was too distracted to try to think of an excuse.
“I think we should probably move on, though. I can hear the kids running around on the beach, now that the fishing boats are at sea. It won’t be long before they come over here.”
Adrian nodded and zipped up his pants.
VII
ALTHOUGH ADRIAN had been having a great time with Ketut, his mind would occasionally think of Mason. He had always teased Mason about the importance he placed on finding Mr. Right instead of just Mr. Right Now. The sort of stories Mason had told him about his boyfriends over the years reminded Adrian of the way he was talking to Ketut. There was a nonsexual aspect of Ketut that Adrian was fascinated with. Certainly Ketut had been an incredible Mr. Right Now, but Adrian wondered what it would mean for him to classify him as a Mr. Right. As Adrian pondered this as the possible start of his own domestication, he knew Mason would have had a good laugh at the scenario.
As Adrian drifted in and out of his self-reflection, his growling stomach reminded them they hadn’t eaten anything all afternoon. Ketut stopped by a roadside stall and ordered fried rice, which was packaged in Styrofoam containers and put in a plastic bag to carry. Adrian had offered to hold it, but Ketut insisted there was no need. He simply hung the bag from the handle of the motorbike as they veered through the hilly terrain on the way to a spot Ketut had described as a “special place.”
By the time Ketut had slowed the motorbike down to park on the shoulder of the narrow road, Adrian could already see what he meant about it being special. Terraced rice fields were beautifully carved into the wavy, narrow valley below him. He had never seen anything so lush and alluring before.
“This is incredible,” Adrian said under his breath as Ketut shut off the engine.
“These are the Tegallalang rice fields. Do you like it?”
“I love it.”
Adrian got off the bike and pulled out his phone to take a picture from the elevated vantage point he had. Meanwhile, Ketut started climbing down a bamboo ladder just off the road to begin descending into the valley. He told Adrian to wait until he had reached the bottom before climbing down the ladder himself. Adrian was going to inquire why, but then he saw the ladder was very wobbly with just one person on it.
Ketut retrieved an old sarong out of his backpack and spread it out on a flat outcrop about six feet beneath the road. They still had an unobstructed view of the valley, but the slight difference in height emphasized different contours of the landscape. Adrian took another photo before settling on the sarong. Ketut readied their lunch, produced a pair of plastic spoons, and they dug in.
“This is nice. I haven’t been on a picnic in a long time.”
“I forgot to get drinks,” Ketut said apologetically. “This happened the last time I was here too.”
“You can’t fit too many people down here on this ledge. How big are your tour groups usually?”
Ketut shook his head while attempting to chew and swallow his food quickly to answer. “No, I don’t bring tourists down here. Sometimes I will bring them to the makeshift market that sets up a little farther down the road. Good views from there as well. But I don’t bring them down here. I had a picnic similar to this with a few friends a couple of months ago. I like it. Thought you might like it too.”
“You guessed right.” Adrian grinned. He then realized he didn’t know very much about Ketut’s circle of friends. Adrian’s mother had always told him to pay attention to a person’s friends, as it tells you more about them than they may be willing to share of themselves. But Adrian also had other thoughts. “Did you come here with your boyfriend?”
Ketut seemed surprised by the question and sat up straight before visibly relaxing. “I don’t have a boyfriend.”
“Really?”
“Yes, really. I broke up with my last boyfriend a year ago. Ancient history. How about you? I bet someone as handsome as you are has a boyfriend and the next one already lined up!”
Adrian smirked. “Nah. Boyfriends cramp my style. Most guys are just after sex anyway, right?”
Ketut didn’t agree or disagree. “Sex is great, sure. But I think it’s really cool believing that somewhere in this world right now is someone who I would want to spend the rest of my life with.”
“So what’s the problem, then?”
“I usually fall for smooth-talking jerks who are just after sex. I guess that’s my type.”
Adrian laughed nervously.
“I’ve had a few flings this past year. I think there’s a place in life for guys like that. But I have higher standards for someone who wants a relationship with me. It’s just difficult to find someone since I am always working. Trying to save some money, you know? Work, work, work, work, work…. Nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah….”
Adrian burst into boisterous laughter hearing Ketut mumble through a Rihanna song.
“What? I don’t know what she’s saying,” he laughed along with Adrian.
“I’m pretty bad with remembering lyrics myself. Don’t worry. But I think I will always remember this.”
Ketut looked around, admiring the terraced landscape. “It is impressive. Nowhere else on Bali do we have this.”
Adrian looked across the valley as well before returning his gaze to Ketut. “Ya, but I meant you. This. Right here. Nowhere else in the world can I get this.” He leaned forward and kissed Ketut gently. As Adrian pulled away, Ketut followed him back and climbed on top of Adrian’s body. Ketut kissed down the side of his face to his neck while Adrian stared up into the blue sky, a view interrupted only by a few palm trees in his peripheral vision. Paradise.
Adrian held Ketut on top of him. His hands didn’t roam Ketut’s body other than the occasional rub on his back. He enjoyed the closeness of their embrace. It wasn’t intended to lead
to sex. It was simply enjoying the moment. Adrian rarely cuddled with his one-night stands, as it made him uncomfortable being so vulnerable around strangers. Sex was not something he equated with intimacy.
Yet again, he thought, wasn’t Ketut also a stranger? Why did their embrace feel so natural? What had changed in the past twelve hours for him that he would let down his emotional guard for someone? Why did he feel like a younger version of himself, nearly giddy at the thought of being close with Ketut like this? It reminded him of the way he felt with his first boyfriend—before being unceremoniously dumped.
VIII
THE RIDE to the other side of the island to see one of the royal palaces and walk around several patches of jungle with concrete pathways—each of which were referred to as the most holy monkey forest on the island—was mostly quiet due to Adrian’s preoccupation with realizing his surprising connection with Ketut and what it meant for his view of relationships—sexual and non—with others. While there was nothing wrong per se, a sense of unease overtook his consciousness as this intimate bond he was forming with Ketut challenged the way he had thus far lived his adult life.
As Ketut maneuvered his bike around the potholes while shouting into his phone, Adrian wondered what he was talking about. Was he bragging to a friend about the white guy he sucked off on the beach? Was he talking to his boyfriend that he lied about earlier? Should any of that really matter? Was it jealousy? Adrian slowly worked through the options in his head while glazing over at the complete foreignness of the Indonesian language, unable to pick up any recognizable words from the conversation over the buzz of the weak engine and other motorbikes whizzing by.
Although he realized this was possessive behavior on his part, Adrian admitted he didn’t have any need for commitment to Ketut. They had just met this morning and had a one-off fuck. That was it! Besides, Adrian didn’t fall for guys. He didn’t make the mistake of putting his trust in others romantically. At least, that was how he had lived in practice.