Gulp. There was another option. She could run away. So you’re a coward now? Face it, Fraser can’t hurt you any more. That’s done and dusted. And he was the one who did the running away, remember? Pushing her shoulders back, sucking in another deep breath, she plonked the checklist down on the front seat of the ambulance and squeaked, ‘You’re right.’ She owed this man who’d given her a break and taken her on at a time when he’d had many applicants, some far more qualified than her. Tapping his shoulder, she gave a weak smile. ‘Thanks.’
At the tearoom door her shaky resolution backed off. Standing with his back to her, talking to Chloe and Ryan, who were about to take over on Blenheim Two for the day shift, was Fraser. Her first glimpse of him since she’d come home from Dunedin to get ready for their wedding, fully expecting him to follow her three weeks later.
Her heart bumped hard against her ribs as she drank in the sight of him. Fraser’s tall, lean body had morphed into a broader, more muscular version of the body she’d known intimately.
On Fraser the very ordinary uniform looked like something out of a style magazine. The black pants hugged his mouth-watering butt in a way that made her fingers itch.
What had seemed difficult had just become darned near impossible. Right now her heart was squeezing tight with raw longing, and her eyes were filling as an alien tenderness overtook her. Transfixed, she drank in the sight of this man who’d dominated her thoughts one way or another for all her adult life.
She swallowed, hard. ‘Hello, Fraser.’
He turned slowly. Nervous? Unwilling to face her? It had never occurred to her over the past few days that he might find this situation as difficult as she was. But maybe he did. After all, he still owed her an explanation, not to mention an apology.
‘Nikki.’ He gulped. ‘You’re looking good.’ His rich, golden-honey voice washed over her, bringing with it a storm of sweet memories.
Memories that until this moment she’d believed she’d deleted from her mind. Fraser murmuring to her as they’d lain tangled in the sheets of their small double bed in the cosy flat they’d shared with two other med students in Dunedin. Fraser egging her on to beat him at strip poker then laughing like crazy when she’d lost.
Stop it. Focus. Concentrate. Remember everything else. The burning humiliation, the pain in her heart so big she thought she’d die.
Nikki stared at him, speech impossible. He looked … different. That full, generous mouth, strong jaw line, the autumn-brown eyes all were tight with wariness instead of the constant laughter she remembered. But that was the least of the changes. His face had deep lines running either side of his mouth. A jolt of shock ripped through her as she looked further. His once straight, thick, chocolate-brown hair was streaked with grey, and curls spun over the tops of his ears, coiled at the edge of his collar.
What had happened? Was that why he’d done a runner? No. She refused to accept that as an excuse for his actions. If anything had gone wrong he’d have told her, and they’d have sorted it—together.
From somewhere a long way away Mike said, ‘Let’s have coffee while it’s quiet. Fraser, you’ll be pleased to know Nikki puts her cooking skills to great use and keeps us supplied with yummy treats.’
Nikki jumped. For a brief moment she’d forgotten where she was. A quick look around the staffroom showed Gavin and Amber watching this meeting with interest, as were the other day crew, who’d just arrived. Amber, her friend and flatmate, should’ve clocked off by now, but had probably hung around to meet the new guy. Questions blazed from her eyes, warning Nikki there’d be an interrogation later.
Fraser spoke into the silence. ‘My stomach’s doing flips already.’
Nikki looked into his eyes, really looked, and locked gazes with him. She saw pain and resignation, determination and wariness, all tumbled together. None of the extreme confidence she’d known before. Again, shock tilted her sideways.
‘So, how are you?’ he asked softly.
Her chin pushed forward. ‘Fine, good, busy.’ Dumb struck, clueless about how to deal with you.
‘It is really good to see you. You look different somehow.’ Fraser’s tone sounded genuine, as his eyes appraised her slowly.
Too darned slowly. Making her skin heat. Drying her mouth. Huh? What was going on here? Had to be the sleepless nights catching up with her. Why else would she be feeling these odd sensations for a man she no longer trusted enough to make her a coffee?
Fraser moved forward, his arms lifting in her direction. To hug her?
Yikes. No way. Not now, not here. Not ever. Quickly shoving her right hand out, she gripped his, shook it perfunctorily and let go. But not before something she hadn’t felt for five years zinged up her arm. Desire.
Fraser heard Nikki mutter, ‘Dang.’ She spun away, her thick dark blonde plait swinging across her back as she added, ‘I need coffee.’
Fraser grimaced. He could relate to that. Strong, black coffee might just fix what ailed him. Temporarily.
As if the mess he’d created way back when he’d learned he wasn’t invulnerable could ever be fixed. Even with the best reasons in the world there was no denying he’d mucked up big time. Especially with this woman standing within reaching distance and looking as remote as the top of the Himalayas.
He couldn’t prevent himself watching every movement Nikki made as she crossed to the whiteboard where case studies were written up for everyone to read and learn from. Despite the bulky green jacket she wore she seemed leaner than he remembered. Her steps were more deliberate, as though she’d lost the constant spring in her walk. Nikki Page. The girl he’d cherished at school. The woman he’d desperately wanted to marry. The lady he’d walked away from. Walked? Sped from, more like. He’d broken her heart. He’d also broken his own. Completely.
But he’d eventually got over her. Or so he’d thought. He’d truly believed that or he’d never have come to work here, despite how much he needed to become an AP for his father’s sake.
‘How do you take your coffee, Fraser?’ Mike waved a mug at him, thankfully shifting his focus for a second.
‘Black, thanks.’ His gaze instantly returned to Nikki. Hell, a few moments ago he’d nearly hugged her. Why? Trying to prove that seeing her again was easy, that he had no hang-ups from the past? Proving it to Nikki? Or himself? Suddenly he felt unsure of everything—his plans to remain in Blenheim and settle down, his yearning to claw back the friendships he’d known before he’d messed up.
‘I’ve got some cereal here for our breakfast,’ the girl introduced to him as Amber told Nikki. Then waved the box at him. ‘Fraser?’
Nikki’s shoulders rolled. ‘Not hungry at the moment.’
‘Me neither.’ He’d forced some toast down before leaving home twenty minutes ago, nearly gagging as it had stuck in his throat. Tiredness dragged at his body after he’d spent half the night pacing the house, keeping away from his parents’ room in case he woke his light-sleeping mother. He’d asked himself repeatedly if coming to work here was the right thing to do, and had repeatedly come up with the same answer. It wasn’t, and yet it was if he was getting on with his new life.
Amber shook the cereal box. ‘You’ve got to have some food, Nikki. You’ve hardly eaten anything for days now.’
Nikki winced. ‘Okay, just a little to appease you, bossy.’
So Nikki’s appetite had disappeared lately. Since she’d heard he was coming to work at the same station? Strange, but he couldn’t possibly affect her any more, could he? Not after the damage he’d done before. The way he’d treated her had been truly bad, despite his justifiable reasons.
‘I’m bossy?’ Amber chuckled. ‘That’s rich.’
‘That’s what friends are for. Keeping you in line.’ Nikki shrugged eloquently and rubbed out a word on the board, rewrote it spelled correctly. ‘Gavin, your spelling is atrocious. And don’t go blaming your Welsh background. We might speak funny in New Zealand but the words are the same.’
Gavin looked
up from the paper and spoke in what sounded like a put-on broad Welsh accent. ‘You’re right, Amber. She’s nothing if not officious.’ His wink showed how unfazed he was by Nikki’s comments. ‘So, Fraser, what brings you back to Blenheim? If you don’t mind me asking, that is?’
‘Family.’ And getting on with the life he’d believed for so long he’d never get the chance to live. A second chance. ‘My dad’s not well so I want to be around to help out with things like keeping the house and section in order, making sure my mother’s coping okay.’
Nikki’s hand stilled on the board. Listening carefully? She asked without turning around, ‘What’s wrong with Ken?’
‘He’s got dementia.’
Nikki gasped, turned to look at him, sympathy in those wide azure eyes. ‘That’s terrible. Hard for your mum too, I imagine. I’m sorry, I didn’t know.’
None of Nikki’s family had had anything to do with his parents since that dreadful day when he’d hurt not just Nikki but two families who’d cared about him. He’d lost a lot of people who’d been important to him that day, but he only had himself to blame.
‘Mum’s managing but I think she’s reaching her limits now that Dad’s getting very argumentative and wanders a bit. That’s why I’ve decided to live at home and not get my own place yet.’
Nikki nodded. ‘I can hear your mum now, checking what time you get home at night, making sure you put your washing out. She’ll be enjoying having you to watch over.’
There was a lot Nikki didn’t know but she’d got that spot on. His mum had been devastated that he hadn’t come home when he’d been diagnosed, but she certainly seemed intent on making up for that now.
Gavin leaned back in his chair. ‘You can’t beat having your family around. They take precedence over everything else.’
There’s no wedding ring on Nikki’s finger. The thought blazed through him. She’s still single. Hang on. No ring meant nothing. She could be in a relationship. Why not? A stunning-looking woman whom everyone adored would attract any red-blooded male. He should feel happy for her, not empty and sad. And maybe a tiny bit hopeful.
‘Are your parents still living in Redwood Street?’ Nikki stared at him. ‘Fraser?’
He shook away those bewildering thoughts. ‘Same old house that I grew up in. It’s looking a bit tired now.’ His mum was struggling with the maintenance. He should’ve come home sooner but no one had told him he was needed. Not until the night last month when he’d phoned his parents to give them the good news that his five-year tests had shown no sign of the cancer returning. The specialist had virtually given him an all-clear and a new lease on life.
His good news had been tempered with the information that his father had dementia and had had it for two years. It hurt that his mother had decided not to mention it while the cancer cloud had hung over him. Another black mark against him.
There’d been no time yesterday to track Nikki down and make contact prior to starting here. Neither had he found out anything about her, so he asked now, ‘Are you living on the farm? Or in town somewhere?’
‘Amber and I share a poky flat not far from here.’
No address, then. But what had he expected? An invitation to dinner? ‘Most of town isn’t far from here.’
Mike coughed. ‘Can I see you two in my office? Now?’
Nikki’s azure eyes blinked. ‘Shouldn’t Gavin be joining you? He’s the one going to work with Fraser.’
Mike answered brusquely, ‘No. Bring your coffee with you.’
At the table Gavin appeared totally absorbed in the newspaper.
What was up? Suddenly Fraser sensed he was about to learn something he definitely would not like. He knew that feeling. It started deep in his belly and writhed outwards, upwards, cold and insidious, taking over his body and then his mind. He’d known it once before and that time the news had been grim. He wanted to call out to Mike, to stop him before any words were uttered, but Mike had disappeared into his office.
At the door Nikki turned back to him, a huge question in her eyes. So she was worried too. He wished he had it in his power to take away that dread blinking back at him. Hell, she was still gut-wrenchingly beautiful. His heart slowed, his throat filled as he headed in the direction of the office they’d been summoned to. She still turned his head, still made him want to hold her and run his hands over her satin skin. Talk about bad timing for remembering those particular sensations. Nikki Page was a no-go zone.
Closing the office door was a mistake. He’d shut the three of them into the small space and there was no getting away from Nikki. He drew a deep, steadying breath. And inhaled her scent. The one that had always reminded him of summer gardens; of roses and freesias and peonies. For a brief moment his head spun, almost taking his feet out from under him. Placing a hand on top of the filing cabinet, he waited for his heart rate to slow to normal. And tried to concentrate on the dull, grey carpet under his black workboots.
Then Mike began to speak and he forgot everything as the dread he’d felt minutes ago became reality.
‘Gavin handed me his notice last night. Patricia has been homesick for a while now so they’re heading back to Wales next month.’ Mike sat on the edge of his desk, his feet stretched between them. ‘Nikki, you’re taking his place as Fraser’s mentor.’
‘C-can’t Gavin do it until he leaves? A month’s a long time.’ Her bottom teeth bit into her top lip and her wide eyes gleamed desperately at her boss. ‘I can take over in September.’
‘No, Fraser deserves continuity while he’s training.’ Mike hesitated, looked from Nikki to him and back to Nikki. ‘Look, you two have obviously got history but if you’re working here then you leave it at the door. Our patients deserve one hundred per cent concentration from all of us, all the time. I can’t have you warring on the job.’
‘That won’t happen,’ Fraser rushed to assure him.
Nikki’s head snapped up and the glare that pierced him told him he shouldn’t be so sure of that. But she did say, ‘As long as we keep everything on a professional basis, it should work.’ A breath escaped between her lips. ‘I guess,’ she added softly, the glare softening as worry and uncertainty took over.
Mike continued to outline what was expected of them both, then handed Fraser a folder, a key and a pager. ‘Your rosters, course notes and timetable, and access codes.’ He then shoved out his hand and clasped Fraser’s. ‘Again, welcome aboard. It’s great to have someone experienced joining us. Isn’t it, Nikki?’
Shaking Mike’s hand, Fraser watched Nikki as she hauled herself off the chair. ‘Yes, a change from training someone right from scratch.’ Her voice was a monotone, as though she’d put a tight rein on herself. Was she barely keeping from yelling at him to go away, get lost?
Ah, Nik, if only you knew how much I regret having done that to you once already. On everyone’s belts pagers beeped simultaneously. Relief poured across Nikki’s face as she snatched at hers. ‘Priority one. We’re on, Fraser.’ And she was gone, charging out the door and into the garage before he’d taken a step.
He followed quickly, equally glad of the interruption while they both assimilated the new situation. But, damn, working in the same truck with Nikki would make everything a hundred times more difficult. They weren’t being given any time to get used to being around one another. No time at all. Straight into the fire. Might be the best way.
CHAPTER TWO
NIKKI raced for the ambulance, leaving Fraser to follow. He might be used to a different station but the drill would be the same. Snapping her seat belt in place, she turned the ignition key as he slid into the passenger seat. ‘Did you unplug the truck?’ she asked, without looking at him.
‘Yes. Having you drive off with the power supply still attached wouldn’t be a good look on my first day.’
‘It’s been done before.’ Mainly by new recruits eager to leap aboard, on their way to a call, and completely forgetting about all the truck’s many batteries being kept topped up while on
standby. With so much equipment on board that needed power, the batteries drained very quickly.
Fraser tapped the computer screen, bringing up the details of the callout. ‘Ashleigh Rest Home. Eighty-seven-year-old woman found lying on bedroom floor. Conscious but groggy.’
‘And probably very cold because of this morning’s frost.’ Putting on the lights and siren, she eased the ambulance out of the garage, nodding thanks to the car drivers giving way to them. If she concentrated on the details of the job and the traffic she was weaving the heavy vehicle through she might be able to pretend that wasn’t Fraser sitting on the other side of the truck.
Who was she kidding? It was Fraser. No getting away from that. His size dominated the cab. The tantalising citrus smell of his aftershave teased her senses. He hadn’t used aftershave before, not that she could remember, and she remembered most things about him. He liked scrambled eggs soft and made with cream, his toast underdone, his steak rare, and would refuse point blank to eat lumpy mashed potatoes.
Fraser fumbled around behind her seat. ‘Where’s the PRF kept?’
‘Under your seat.’
He found the patient report form and copied in details from the screen, appearing totally impervious to the situation.
Why couldn’t she act as though he was any other crew member she had to mentor? She tried. ‘Patient’s name?’
‘Mavis Everest.’
‘Don’t know her.’ In a town the size of Blenheim she often attended people she knew, which added a personal, and not always welcome, factor to the situation. ‘Is Mavis in a unit or the hospital wing?’
‘A detached unit, number three. She must be capable of looking out for herself, then. Not bad at that age.’
‘Probably has a caregiver.’ Nikki hated the idea of anyone she loved ending up in a retirement village. A lot of people liked the security and companionship but she couldn’t see her parents there after spending their lives on the farm. Not that they were even close to having to think about that but, still, she already knew she’d look after them if the need arose.
Medical Duo - Dr Chandler's Sleeping Beauty & Christmas with Dr Delicious Page 17