Son. Fraser’s heart tripped. Thank you, Dad. But there were going to be more and more instances when he wasn’t recognised by the man who’d reared him, who’d been the reason he’d left Blenheim. Who’d made him the person he was. Because of his father he’d spent years polishing his skills at beguiling people, bringing them onside so they liked him. But suddenly his eyes moistened. Families were meant to be about loving and caring, whereas he’d always believed his father was an adversary.
With his mum everything had been different, all about love and caring. His dad had bullied her as well, but she’d accepted it, whereas he’d fought back. And won his father’s love along the way.
‘Come on, Dad.’ Taking his father’s elbow, Fraser directed him inside, closing the door on the outside world. As he and his mum had done for as long as he could remember.
‘Ken? Fraser? What’s going on?’ His mum came towards them, tying a belt around her robe, looking bewildered. ‘Where have you been, Ken? I didn’t notice he’d gone,’ she added in an aside to Fraser.
‘It’s all right, Mum. I’ll get him dry and dressed in something warm. Maybe you could turn on the heaters and make us all a cup of tea.’
Seeing the weariness in his mother’s face made the tears prick harder at the backs of his eyelids. This disease was so unfair. Thank goodness he’d come back to Blenheim when he had. His mum couldn’t have managed alone for much longer. Even with him here it wasn’t easy, but he knew better than to mention rest homes and dementia units again. She’d send him packing for sure.
Not that Fraser could blame her. If he loved someone as much as his mum loved his dad, despite everything, then he’d be dead set against handing over her care to strangers. A picture of Nikki clambering up the camper van last night slipped into his head, along with the chill he’d known as he’d watched her. He’d feared for her, been terrified something dreadful would happen to her. He’d wanted to be the one on the end of the pulleys and ropes, holding her safe.
Sighing, Fraser dropped a kiss on his mum’s wrinkled forehead. ‘Who’s this Broad character?’ he whispered.
‘The man your father charmed me away from.’ His mum smiled softly, her eyes misty. ‘Thank goodness.’
‘Really?’ Shock rippled through him. He’d never understood how his mum could love his dad despite the bullying and demands he’d made on her. Yet now her face shone with it. She wouldn’t change a thing. He could see that in the steel at the back of her eyes, in the hand that rubbed his dad’s arm.
‘Absolutely.’
‘Sorry.’ He kissed her soft cheek, knowing she wouldn’t understand he was apologising for trying to belittle that love when he’d been a teen and thought he knew everything. But setting Nikki free had been just as loving. In a back-to-front way. Must have picked up some of his mother’s good characteristics.
‘We all used to go to the dance hall in town and your dad was a better dancer than Henry.’
‘I got that skill from him, then.’ Fraser was very sorry for hurting his mum, but his parents’ relationship was not one he wanted to emulate. Sometimes, in the deep of the night, he worried he’d turn out to be no better than his father. What if he had married Nikki and spent their whole life together putting her endeavours down, humiliating her? What if he’d had all those kids he yearned for and then spent for ever making them wish they’d never been born? Or did love really conquer all those fears?
‘Fraser.’ His mum’s gentle voice cut through his questions. ‘Dad needs to get warm. Now.’ Her steady gaze said she did understand.
With a brief nod Fraser turned back to his father and took his arm again. ‘Come on, Dad.’
To concentrate on helping his parents properly he had to ignore the bubble of anguish that had arrived in his belly when he’d seen his dad sitting outside. This disease was never going away. It was going to end in tears and it was his job to cushion the impact for his mum. All part of resuming his place in his family, in his home town.
Nikki flipped open her phone, squeezed it between her ear and shoulder, and continued loading the washing machine. ‘Hello?’
‘It’s Fraser.’ Two words. Two very tired words.
Her heart stopped. The very person she’d been thinking about. But why was he ringing her? ‘What are you up to?’
‘Have you been for your run yet?’
Yes, she had, hours ago. But she hesitated. Something in Fraser’s tone suggested he desperately needed company. ‘I was about to head out. Want to join me?’ Two runs in one day would be hard on her legs but she’d manage. Maybe they’d take it easy. As if. Fraser was a regular runner, too, and she already knew how competitive he was at everything.
‘I’d like that. Where shall I meet you?’ he asked.
‘I’ll pick you up in ten, if that suits. We can head up to Wither Hills Farm Park.’
‘That works perfectly. See you shortly.’ Fraser hung up.
Nikki stared at her phone. Something was up, but why had he asked her to go for a run with him? It wasn’t as though he told her much about himself these days. They’d managed to make working together possible by not sharing any personal information.
Ten minutes, she’d said. Minus sixty seconds already. Nikki turned the washing machine on and raced to her bedroom for a clean set of track pants and sweatshirt.
At the foot of the Wither Hills Farm Park they did warm-up stretches before running up the track that would eventually edge around the side of the hill. Nikki took the lead. ‘Come on, slowcoach,’ she taunted over her shoulder. So far Fraser hadn’t said a word about why he’d wanted to join her and her nerves were winding tighter by the minute.
‘Slowcoach, eh?’ Fraser gave a tense smile that didn’t reach his eyes as he lengthened his stride to pass her.
Nikki immediately upped her pace, feeling the strain in her calf muscles as she passed Fraser, only to have him tap her shoulder as he raced past her again. At the top of the hill they collapsed against the fence, gasping cold air into their lungs.
Finally, Fraser muttered, ‘Next time I have a rush of blood to the head and suggest going for a run with you I’ll go to the gym instead. You’re very fit.’
‘You’re not so bad yourself.’ Nikki straightened up, hands on hips as she stretched her back. The wind was chilly, rapidly cooling her down.
His gaze cruised over her, slowing at her breasts. ‘When did you take up running? You never used to own a pair of sports shoes, let alone know how to use them.’
Embarrassment warmed her cold cheeks. About to avoid the question, she hesitated. One of her biggest complaints about Fraser was that he didn’t tell her anything important. Hauling in a lungful of air, she told him, ‘After you left me I got depressed. Like really depressed. I had to take drugs for a while.’
The eyes that Fraser turned on her were dark caramel and full of guilt and concern. ‘That explains the way you walk now.’
‘What?’
‘You used to have a spring in your step, as though nothing could keep you down. Your love of life flowed through everything you did.’ His gaze remained fixed on her. ‘I took that away from you.’
Blimey. He carried so much guilt. She reached a hand out, touched his lightly. ‘Don’t. It’s over now. You’ve explained and I have the answers I’d been looking for. I have to own some of what happened to me, too.’ Could she have prevented the depression? Should she have knocked on Fraser’s door and demanded answers, instead of hiding away feeling sorry for herself? She’d never know.
Fraser turned his hand over, laced his fingers with hers, shook his head at her. ‘That’s too easy.’
Probably. Striving for a lighter tone, she smiled. ‘There was nothing easy about taking up running, believe me. I hated it at first, but my doctor kept insisting I not give up.’ She pulled her hand free, away from the temptation to hold on tight, to try and find that connection they used to have.
‘What kept you going?’
‘I’d lost a lot of weight and didn’
t want to find it again so in the end that’s why I persevered. For weeks I ached from top to toe, then one day I woke feeling great and knew I’d never give up running, or some form of exercise, again.’
‘It agrees with you. You look fantastic. But you always did.’
I did? Really? She stared at Fraser, but could see nothing in his eyes that refuted his words. Wow. But it didn’t matter what he’d thought, it was still too late. Rubbing her hands up and down her arms, she said, ‘Let’s walk a bit. It’s too cold to stand still.’
Fraser nodded but remained staring out over the town for a long moment. Finally, he turned to her. ‘My father’s getting worse, and there’s not a thing I can do about it. It’s like watching a coil of wire unwinding under its own volition. I can’t stop it. I can’t change anything. And worst of all, it’s too late to tell him the things I’ve wanted to tell him most of my life.’
The helplessness in his eyes caught at her, making her heart ache for him. ‘What would you say to him if you could?’
She had to strain to hear his reply. ‘I’d tell him I forgive him.’
‘I’m sure he knows. You came home for him. That says what words don’t.’
Fraser turned to face her. ‘I know he loved me. He just didn’t know how to show it. Until I was ill. Then he spent months with me. Still tried to tell me what to do, though.’ Fraser’s smile was poignant. ‘Guess that’ll never change.’
Nikki asked, ‘So what happened today? Did your dad take a turn for the worse?’
‘When I got home this morning Dad was sitting on the front porch dressed in nothing but his PJ bottoms. He didn’t know me.’ Fraser’s Adam’s apple bobbed and he ran his knuckles down his cheek. ‘Called me Henry Broad. Accused me of trying to steal his wife from him. Turns out Broad’s an old flame of Mum’s. The whole thing would be funny if it wasn’t so damned sad.’
Nikki tossed caution to the wind and stepped in front of him to wrap her arms around him. ‘I can’t begin to imagine how you cope. What about your mother? Is she okay?’
He stood absolutely still, hands at his sides. Waiting for her to let go? She didn’t, instead hugging tighter. This was what friends did, and she could be Fraser’s friend. For now.
Finally, he relaxed into her hold, and his hands came up around her back. Against her cheek he murmured, ‘Mum’s good. Exhausted, but she’s good.’
When they began shivering from the cold he pulled away and began jogging slowly. ‘Mum’s so patient with him, not to mention stubbornly determined to keep Dad at home with her.’
‘How much longer can she realistically do that?’ Nikki followed, feeling warm on the inside despite the chill wind making her shiver. A hug with Fraser had lifted her spirits no end.
Fraser shrugged. ‘How long’s a piece of string? There’s no way of knowing with this disease. She swears he’s been okay up till now.’
‘I bet your mother’s just happy you’re here now.’
‘I guess.’ Then he tossed a challenge over his shoulder. ‘Last one back to the car buys lunch.’ And he was gone, racing down the track like a greyhound.
‘If you think I’m buying, think again …’ But as she sped down the narrow path after him she knew there was no way he’d let her beat him. It wasn’t in his nature.
Fraser hurdled over the last fence and slapped his hand on the vehicle first. ‘I won.’
Nikki slipped between the fence wires. ‘You cheated.’
His eyes rolled skywards. ‘Excuses, excuses.’ He opened the car door, leaned his arms on the roof. ‘Thanks for coming out with me. I needed to let off steam.’
Nikki gazed into those serious eyes and her breath hitched in her throat. He’d chosen her to spend the morning with when he’d wanted to put the pain of his father’s illness out of his mind. That made her feel warm and soft inside. Special, even. Like they were getting close again.
‘Nikki.’ Fraser strode around the car to her. ‘Nikki, I …’ His hands gripped her upper arms.
‘You wh-what?’ There was an unfamiliar yet very familiar look in those beautiful eyes gazing at her. He wanted to kiss her, but he was wary. Heat and longing stared out at her, turned her insides soft, exploding all thought of keeping her distance. Her legs stretched, lifting her onto her toes. Her hands gripped the front of his windbreaker jacket and hauled him closer.
‘Kiss me, Fraser,’ she demanded, secure in the knowledge he wanted it as much as she suddenly did.
His eyes widened and he grabbed her to him. ‘I’ve missed you,’ he murmured against her mouth.
Then his lips covered hers, slick, forcing her mouth wide. His tongue pushed inside, teasing, tasting, dancing with hers. Driving her crazy with desire.
Pressing her body length against Fraser, her breasts hard against his chest, her belly against his, thigh to thigh, excitement wound tightly deep inside her womanhood. She needed to touch his skin. Her hands slipped under his shirt, fingers spreading wide on his back, his skin smooth and warm under her fingertips.
She pressed even closer and he wound his arms tighter around her. His shaft, hard, pressed against her belly. It had been so long since she’d known this need. Every muscle in her body shook as his kisses deepened, became hungrier. Shaking with need for him. She wanted him. She wanted Fraser? Yes.
No. She jerked her mouth free. No. They couldn’t do this. She wasn’t ready. She’d never be ready for him.
Fraser took her face in his hands. The eyes that met hers were full of concern and slowly evaporating need. ‘You want to stop?’
Unable to speak, she nodded slowly. And bit back the denial threatening to break from her mouth.
He leaned in, placed the softest of soft kisses on each cheek, then her mouth. ‘Okay.’ And he stepped away, around the SUV to the other side, never taking his gaze off her.
She stared at him, her hands trembling. How could she have let that kiss happen?
How had she stopped it?
As Nikki pulled into the driveway of his parents’ home a little later she gasped. ‘That’s Mum’s car. What’s she doing here?’
‘Seeing if there’s anything I can do for Molly and Ken.’ Rose Page answered her daughter’s question when they went inside. ‘Fraser said last night he’s going to Christchurch next month for training so I dropped by to see if Molly might want some company or help with the chores while he’s away.’
Nikki gaped at her mother. Yesterday, her brothers seemed to have accepted Fraser back into the fold all too easily, and today her mother had turned up to see Molly McCall.
Yeah, and twenty minutes ago who had been kissing Fraser like a starved woman?
Fraser smiled. ‘Thanks, Rose.’ Then he turned to his mother. ‘Where’s Dad?’
‘Right here.’ Mr McCall loomed up in the doorway. ‘Just been catching the midday news and weather. Last night’s storm did a lot of damage all over the top half of the South Island.’
It seemed that morning’s episode of forgetfulness had passed. Until next time. Pain for Fraser lanced Nikki’s heart. It must be dreadful never knowing what offbeat thing his dad might do next. Right now, if she hadn’t known, she’d never have guessed Mr McCall had dementia.
Did Fraser ever worry he might get dementia? One glance at him, laughing and chatting with everyone, and she’d have to say no.
‘They got that campervan out of the river this morning.’ Her mum’s voice cut through her thoughts. ‘It’s a mess. All that poor woman’s possessions have been under water all night.’
Molly was looking from Fraser to Nikki. She asked in such an innocent voice that had Nikki wondering if she had ‘I’ve just been kissed by your son’ written over her face. ‘What are you two doing this afternoon?’
‘I’m taking Nik out to lunch.’
Nikki shook her head. ‘No, you’re not.’
His eyes instantly filled with disappointment. ‘I thought that was the deal.’
‘The deal was the loser shouts lunch. I believe I came second
.’ A rush of pleasure warmed her as the disappointment cleared and he smiled a toe-curling smile. ‘Even if you did cheat.’
‘For that I’ll buy the wine. Which vineyard do you recommend?’
The sun had at last cleared the sky of clouds and its warm rays made the garden at the vineyard restaurant very appealing to Nikki and Fraser. They selected a table out in the open, away from the shade of the trees.
‘This is definitely something I didn’t get to do very often in Dunedin.’ Fraser stretched his long legs under the table. ‘And definitely not at this time of the year.’
‘I’ve never missed those freezing winters, all that snow and ice. I still remember the first year we moved down there. I thought I’d never survive the cold.’ Nikki shivered exaggeratedly.
‘You used to hate leaving the kitchen where you worked to come home at night.’ The intensity in his eyes made her blush with memories of how they’d got warm when she had finally got back to their flat. She reached for her glass, sipped the crisp Sauvignon Blanc and nodded. ‘Excellent.’
‘It is.’
Finally, Fraser looked away, and she was able to draw a full breath. So many good times between them. All ruined by one thing. She shivered. Time to take a break from the past and enjoy this time with Fraser, enjoy today. Leaning back in her chair, Nikki looked around the garden.
‘The daffodils are in bud. And over the fence there’s green showing on the grapevines. Spring is definitely on the way.’ The new growth always lifted her spirits. It was like a new beginning. Was that what was happening here with Fraser? Was that what she wanted?
I don’t know. But I’m not uncomfortable with him any more.
‘Can I take your orders?’ A waitress hovered at her elbow and Nikki refocused, ordering the smoked salmon terrine and salad.
Fraser leaned his elbows on the table and studied her over his clasped hands. ‘Don’t you miss the kitchen at all?’
‘I miss putting together a beautiful meal that someone’s paying for and therefore expecting the best. I miss being around other foodies all the time. But the daily grind of producing the same thing over and over, of not being able to be creative?’ She shook her head. ‘I’d rather strap an oxygen mask on a seriously ill asthmatic patient and save their life.’
Medical Duo - Dr Chandler's Sleeping Beauty & Christmas with Dr Delicious Page 25