“I’m gonna help you. There are lots of rehabs you can go to.”
Bernie starts to cry. Her arms were loosely around me at first but as the tears really start comin’ she grabs on tightly and buries her face into my shoulder, sobbing. Her whole body is shaking. I don’t let go until her pain subsides. I don’t know how long we’re standing like this, but it’s just long enough to break my heart into a million pieces. This isn’t what I wanted for my friend. I wanted to keep her on the pedestal, a model not just in magazine but of inspiration. But we’re all just human beings doing our best, aren’t we?
While I change clothes, she sits on my bed and wipes her face with a makeup-remover pad. She’s staring off in that numb way we do when we’ve just unloaded a lot of blocked anguish. We’re silent like sisters who don’t need to talk to fill the spaces. I pull a pillow off my bed and hand it to her.
“I don’t think Jake’s pillow is as fluffy as this one. His are flat guy-pillows he’s had for too long.”
She glances to me like a wounded deer. “You guys aren’t dating, are you?”
Oh shit. She still loves him. The feeling isn’t mutual, but I’m not going to break her heart by telling her that Jake and I have been getting to know each other…well.
“No, we’re not. I have to be honest with you, Bern. I do like him. Oh my gosh, that hurts to say it.” I give Bernie a nervous smile, but she stares at me oddly, not returning it, of course.
“You know their dad’s a congressman.”
“What does that have to do with anything?”
“You can’t trust politicians, Drew. They’re liars.”
Blinking at her, I argue, “He seemed like a nice man.”
Her eyebrows shoot up. “You’ve met Michael Cocker?”
“Yeah,” I shrug, defensively. “I’m Jake’s roommate. It’s no big deal. He invited me over for a BBQ tonight since he’s leavin’ town for…a while.”
Annoyance flashes across her. Or maybe it’s just downright anger. She looks back at the wall and her jaw is tight. “You went to their house?”
“Yeah.”
“Was it a big party like with other people, or just the family?”
I can see from her reaction that she has a reason for asking. “Why are you asking me that?”
“Just answer the question, Drew.”
“Besides some people who work for the Congressman, it was just the family.”
She looks at the floor. “Huh.”
Now I get it. She’s never been there. “It wasn’t a big deal,” I whisper, feeling guilty.
Her beautiful eyes cut me down to nothing, then something changes in her expression and she smiles. It’s so normal and without the rage I just saw boiling in her, that I’m thrown by the shift. “I’m tired. I’m goin’ to bed. Or to the couch, or whatever. Thank you for the good pillow, Drew.” She hugs me really tightly then kisses my cheek before she quietly whispers, “And for the shoulder.”
In my doorframe, she looks back and gives me a sad smile. I see nine-year-old, toe-headed Bernadette Lancaster standing just inside the front door of her Momma’s home, waving to me with her cheeks flushed from the daily race we ran against each other, trying to beat the other to the old Dogwood.
“Love you, Drew Charleybomb.”
Feeling empty, I offer a sad smile. “Love you, too, Bernie Casteroil.”
She closes the door.
The world didn’t give us what it promised.
DREW
I swear the vibration of my phone when a text comes through is hardwired into my brain. It’s all the way in the closet, stuffed deep in my purse and still I can hear it while I’m dreaming. It’s crazy.
I run to it and find the message is from Jake.
You were supposed to be here fifteen minutes ago.
“Oh my God!!!” I cry out, heart rate going from zero to sixty. “I forgot to set my alarm!” Scrambling through the hangers I find a dress that’s appropriate for work, and shoes that match. My nude bra and panties get thrown on and I rush to the bathroom as I’m zipping up my outfit and throwing my shoes at the front door where they clatter like awkward dice.
Basic makeup is all I have time for. Lipstick will be applied in the car.
“Where the hell did I leave my purse?!!”
Running back to my room, I grab it from the closet and dash out.
The door to Jake’s room opens which nearly makes me jump out of my skin.
I spin around to tell him that messing with me like this is SO NOT FUNNY, when my heart stops.
“Mornin’ Drew,” Bernie says, rubbing her eyes. She’s wearing Jake’s shirt he wore at the BBQ.
She yawns and stretches her slender arms way up. She’s got no panties on.
Someone just punched my soul. I step backward, jaw on the floor and eyes tearing up.
She leans against his doorframe and mutters to herself, “I really need some coffee. Slept all of twenty minutes last night. Well, actually, just since he’s left. How long ago was that? Half hour? No, maybe forty-five minutes.”
“Oh my God,” I rasp over a lump of anguish. My eyes are stinging as I turn away.
He fucked her. All night long.
And here I practically pushed them back together by asking if she could stay over.
I’m the dumbest person who ever walked the earth. Naïve, table for one. First Edward. Now Jake.
I know she’s beautiful. I know she’s incredibly sexual and experienced.
I’m sure their sex life was too hard for a twenty-five year old guy to resist.
“I have to go to work,” I groan, heading for my shoes. I have never felt so much pain.
At least with Edward, when he started cheating, I didn’t really love him anymore.
It didn’t hurt like this.
“When do you get back, Charleybomb? You’re still staying at my place tonight, right?”
Glass scraped my veins up when she called me that. I slip on my shoes, dazed, and mutter, “I know I’m not staying here tonight.”
“Oh honey, I thought you said you were just friends!” She pads over to me, pulling his shirt over her shaved pussy.
Croaking, “We are. It’s fine. I’ll see you after five. I’ll go straight there from work.”
“You okay?”
“Totally.”
I practically run out there, feeling vomit threatening to come up. My Honda has never been driven this dangerously. At the office, Don is sitting at the front desk. His eyes leave the computer to meet mine as I enter the room. I’m all apologies. “I’m sorry. I didn’t set my alarm.”
He nods curtly and with uncharacteristic coldness, says, “Don’t let it happen again.”
“I won’t. I promise I won’t.”
Rising, he motions for me to take my seat. “I need you to go through these old proposals today, Drew. I’ve marked down the things you’re looking for. We need to catalogue these in a way that help us write new proposals according to the successful ones of our past. This is the stack where we landed the job. This is the stack where we didn’t. Find the commonalities. This is going to take weeks, so start slow. Small things. Make notes of verbiage, what we offered, the time frame in which we offered it. Start there. Reference this list, then branch out after you’ve completed it. Look for themes. Got it?”
I nod, reading the list to see if I have any questions. “I’ll do a great job, sir.”
He pauses and his eyes soften just a little. “Don’t call me sir.”
“Okay. Again, I’m so sorry for being late!”
He waves it away, but the softening vanishes. He heads back to his large, private office and I don’t see him again all day.
I wish I could say the same about Jake. As soon as he hears Don leave, he comes out of his office and heads right over to stand in front of my desk. My eyes dart up and catch the guilt in his eyes, and I instantly want to punch him in the neck.
“I should have woken you up. I had other things on my mind.”
He frowns and slides his hands into his pockets. “You’re pissed. I can understand that.”
“Why would I be pissed at you? You got me this job.” All I can see is Bernie sucking his cock and him telling her what he’s going to do to her next. “I’m indebted. I just want to do a good job, so I don’t think it looks good if you are hanging out here at my desk when this huge binger needs to be read.”
He walks away, footsteps lagging. I am intensely aware of his footsteps, each one bringing him further away from me. I’m about to cry.
I put all of my attention on doing my best at what Don needs of me. An agonizing hour later, Jake is sent to the job site to take care of a problem, thank God.
JAKE
Glancing to my phone, I see it’s five-forty. I exhale and turn into the office parking intent on apologizing to Drew. This whole day has been shit. I should have done this before.
When I walk in, her desk is empty. I look around for her purse, but it’s gone. Heading back I knock on his door. “Uncle Don? Drew take off?”
With his eyes glued to the computer screen, he nods. “Mmhmm.”
“Shit,” I mumble.
“I don’t think I saw her smile all day.”
“She was upset she was late.”
Uncle Don spins his pen in his hand and regards me with a wise look. “It was more than that. She made some good headway on that work I gave her, and I told her so. She just nodded and kept at it. Juan came in at one point and said hi to her and she barely looked at him. She looked shell-shocked, if you ask me. What happened last night?”
“I’ll go home and talk to her,” I mutter, turning around. “Talk to you later.”
“See ya tomorrow…oh wait! Jake! Get over here.” He follows me out and I turn to walk into a big bear hug. “You’re flying out in the morning.”
We slap each other’s backs and separate. “Jason’s driving me to the airport.”
“Your family isn’t going to be easy on me until you’re back.”
I chuckle, “Yeah. They really won’t.” Clapping a firm hand on his shoulder, I say, “And I won’t apologize for that.”
He laughs as I head out. Before I vanish through the door, he calls out, “She’s a good woman, Jake.”
I nod and wave without looking back.
When I get to the apartment, everything is quiet. I call into the void, “Drew?” with no response returning to me. After taking off my shoes, I walk to her room. The door is slightly open so I tap on it. “Drew? You in here?”
Nothing but silence.
“Shit. She’s at Bernie’s. How could I forget that?” The memory of Bernie knocking on my door in the nude, flashes before my eyes. I slide my phone out and text Drew. An hour later, I text her again.
Hey, I want to see you before I go.
I wait for her response. Just when I think one’s not coming, I get this:
I’m busy Jake. Have a great time in Denver.
I stare at it. “Fuck.”
I dial her, but she doesn’t pick up. Just her voicemail.
“Hey, Drew, uh, I’m sorry I didn’t wake you. I was really thrown by the whole Bernie thing. I’m sure she told you. But I…don’t know how long I’m gonna be gone for.” Pausing, I confess, “I really wanted to see you before I left. Call me back. I’ll come to you. Just text me Bernie’s address.”
I hang up expecting a quick response, but she never calls me back. She doesn’t even fucking text me. The rest of the long night I’m annoyed as hell. I do laundry, pack up, field calls from family, and stare at the fucking clock all the way until I lay down to sleep.
If she’s gonna be that way, fine. I don’t need this shit.
When I wake up, I text her again.
I’m leaving.
Jason knocks at my door at eight-thirty, and I’m still staring at the phone. “You look like hell.”
“Yeah,” I mutter, grabbing my suitcase. He picks up the other one and waits for me to the lock the door.
“Drew already at work?”
“Who the fuck knows what Drew’s doing or where she is or what she’s thinking” I mutter, heading to his car.
With the sounds of rolling wheels bouncing off the hallway walls, Jason asks, “Something happen between you guys?”
“Yeah, something you know a lot about.”
“Huh?”
“Bernie Fucking Lancaster.”
Jason stops walking. “What does she have to do with anything?”
“I’ll tell you in the car. I have a plane to catch and you were supposed to be here at 8:20 a.m.”
I can hear how pissed I sound, but I don’t fucking care. My patience is gone.
DREW
L ast night was a nightmare. I got absolutely no sleep at Bernie’s. I couldn’t stop thinking of Jake. I wanted to call him, but doing so would have been the dumbest, most doormat thing I’d ever done. And I’ve been a doormat many times. But at least now I have my eyes open and I can choose not to be one. Still, old habits are harder to kill than cockroaches in the desert.
I wanted to take him up on his offer to drive over to her place. Even with what he did – what they did -- Seeing him before he left was something I needed. For closure.
But the night proved to be very full and distracting. Bernie didn’t want to keep her promise to me.
“I really don’t think I need a rehab, Drew.”
“But you agreed to go to one!”
“I know I did, but that was before I had a good night’s sleep at your place.” Her smile makes me sick to my stomach. “And you were so good to me, it made me feel better. I think I can quit the coke now.”
“I thought you said you didn’t sleep last night. “
“Well, there are many ways to rest, Drew.”
I gagged, but put away my own pain to explain to her, “Bernie, you can’t quit something as addictive as coke without help. You need support.”
“I’ve got you!”
I put my head in my hands at that, feeling absolutely spent of patience. “I can’t be your savior. I don’t have that kind of power. I tried!” I looked up, pleading with her to understand. “When I lived with you, I tried to help you. Hell, I even hid your coke one night!”
Her eyes flashed. “I KNEW that was you! Where did you put it?”
“I flushed it.”
“You did WHAT? Do you have any idea how much that costs, Drew?”
Defeated, I told her, “See? You wouldn’t be so upset if you were really quitting now.”
The anger vanished instantly. “I’m quitting! I am! I don’t want this kind of life.” Her eyes became liquid as she ran both hands through her flaxen hair. “I have to get out. You HAVE to help me!”
“I want to. Let me help you.”
“Okay!”
“Great. Let’s go to the rehab.” I grabbed my keys and she took them from me then chucked them at her wall.
“I’m not going to fucking rehab! I’m not going!”
I was way in over my head. Again. It went on like that for hours.
And now I’m sitting at work, feeling like I escaped an insane asylum, and so glad I have somewhere to be where I won’t feel completely useless.
“Morning,” Don smiles as he walks in.
“Good morning, Don. Were you at the site?”
“I was.” He does a quick scan of the desk. “Making good headway, Drew.”
Offering him a smile, I admit, “You’re right. This will take weeks, but I don’t mind. I like finding the clues. It’s like a game.”
He laughs in disbelief. “Most people would think this task is very boring!”
“Most people are tired of working in general. Not me. I’m just glad to be here.” And boy do I mean that.
“My nephew’s plane took off an hour ago.”
Pausing, my smile falters. “I know.”<
br />
Don studies my reaction. “Jason called me and asked for your number. Said not to tell Jake. Is Jason interested in dating you?”
I blink a few times, too tired to understand the question. “I don’t think so. That would be really weird.”
“That’s what I thought. All of the Cockers are way too loyal to pull a stunt like that, when Jake clearly likes you.”
He has a strange way of showing that, sleeping with my friend while I’m in the other room.
“I don’t pretend to understand how men think, sir.”
Don laughs outright. “That goes both way with both sexes, doesn’t it? I told Jason I’d ask you. Wouldn’t want to overstep my bounds as your employer. Do you want me to give it to him?”
Why would Jason want to talk to me?
“Um…I don’t think so.”
“Alright then,” Don nods thoughtfully. “I’ll be in my office.”
“Okay.”
As soon as he’s gone, I read Jake’s text messages again.
I really need to stop doing this.
JETT COCKER
JUST OVER TWO WEEKS LATER.
With asphalt blurred under my wheels and the wind on my face, I nod to Honey Badger that the next exit will do just fine. He can’t wait to get where we’re goin’. True to his earned name, the guy is unstoppable and scary as shit to those he doesn’t like, even if he is round and soft looking. Ya really can’t judge a book by its cover all the time.
Five Harleys veer right, cutting in front of a big rig who doesn’t dare honk after he spots the patches on our backs that read, Ciphers, in Old English font. The man doesn’t want his cargo arriving late just because he had to go to a hospital.
Denver, Colorado.
Didn’t think we’d be coming this way again for a long time. We’ve been travelin’ the northern states for months now ever since spring began. We’re well into summer now and I prefer coming to Colorado when it’s covered in snow. I like to snowboard when I’m given the chance and the hills of this state are fuckin’ incredible. Scratch makes fun of me for that, but only ‘cause he can’t do it. Won’t even try. The pussy.
Cocky Roomie: A Bad Boy Romance Novel (Cocker Brothers of Atlanta Book 1) Page 11