"This was the bay."
Claire turned and discovered that Alex had come to sit nearby, but she said nothing.
"It was so beautiful. I can’t believe …."
Claire studied her toes. "I didn’t see much of it myself—before, I mean."
"You were captured by the rebels?"
Claire nodded. "To kill Thor."
Alex was silent for so long that Claire finally looked at her. She was staring at the sea, but, as if aware of Claire’s scrutiny, she turned to look at her. "You didn’t though, did you? You helped Aurora to heal him."
Claire covered her face with her hands. "The worst of it is … the worst is…."
"That you loved Eros enough that you might have made a conscious decision to take Thor’s life to save him if you had been given the choice?"
Claire swallowed with an effort. Her throat felt as if it would close. "I’m afraid I might have," she managed to say finally.
Alex sighed. "If it had been me, I’m pretty sure I would have—to save Thor. I don’t think I would’ve spent a lot of time torturing myself over it either. But—that’s just me. What I think, is that you need to put it behind you," Alex said briskly.
Claire gaped at her in disbelief. "You’re just saying that to make me feel better."
Alex chuckled. "I’m saying that because it’s true."
Claire digested that in silence before something that had been plaguing her surfaced. "Where’s the baby?"
"With his nurse, Miah. She had left ahead of us. I wasn’t certain she’d made it, but we met up with her when we reached the island. Rory was so happy to see her, and I was so exhausted—"
"What will you and Thor do?"
Alex shrugged. "The same thing most people do after a disaster of epic proportions. If the islands are stable—rebuild."
Claire turned and looked at the rubble behind them doubtfully. "I don’t see how they could have the heart to."
"Some won’t. Some will. I don’t care where I live as long as it’s with Thor. And I know he’ll want to rebuild. Aurora’s gone—most of the high council. They will need him and he would not be happy if I asked him to leave. He’d probably go, but he wouldn’t be happy, I don’t think, anywhere else."
Before Alex could ask her what her own plans were, or Eros’, Claire jumped to her feet. "There’s no time like the present to start," she said briskly. "Let’s see if we can find your home and do a little scavenging."
Alex glanced toward the sea again and finally got to her feet. Turning, she studied the wreckage. "We might have to swim. This looks like Olympus—or maybe Tridan."
Claire’s shoulders slumped. "I was sort of hoping we might find something to eat."
Chuckling, Alex caught her hand and tugged her up the beach. "If there’s anything to be found, it will be shared."
The distant drone of an engine attracted their attention as they began to climb over the rubble nearest the beach and both Alex and Claire stopped, shielding their eyes as they looked skyward and finally pinpointed the small plane.
"You think they’ve seen us?"
Alex glanced at her. "Maybe—I don’t think it’ll be long before the Atalanteans begin to have visitors."
Claire smiled faintly. "That’s going to be a real jolt—for everyone, I expect."
"Probably. On the other hand—you never know. No one at all might show. We might still find ourselves cut off from the rest of the world."
"Even if the people in that plane didn’t see us, someone’s bound to."
Alex sent her a wicked grin. "You don’t know where we are, do you?"
"I think I already established that," Claire said wryly.
"Atalantium was—still is, dead center of the Bermuda Triangle. What are the chances, you think, that even if they report seeing a new group of islands, everybody just thinks they’re crazy?"
* * * *
The sun was settling in the west when Thor and Eros returned at last. Claire and Alex, with Miah and the baby, had discovered the islands were connected—somewhat. A bar of land bridged three, little more than a foot beneath the water. They had made their way across and discovered the home that had once been Thor’s on the outskirts of Atlantis.
Alex wept when she saw it. Her tears set baby Rory off and she sat rocking him and crying for some time while Claire searched for anything salvageable. There was very little, but as Claire began to pile what she could find near Alex, she wiped her eyes, gave the baby to Miah and rose to search, as well. The upper floor had collapsed upon the lower floor, but there were several rooms that were virtually intact—none of the furnishings, but shelter. Rounding up broken pieces of wooden furniture, they piled the pieces that were obviously hopeless and started a fire on the stone floor. They were heating food on sticks when Thor and Eros climbed over the rubble and, without a word, dropped down beside them.
Claire studied Eros’ tired face for several moments and offered him the food. He shook his head tiredly. "It’s for you."
He glanced at her questioningly, but took it and ate in a mechanical sort of way. She couldn’t decide if he was just exhausted, in mourning for so many losses, worried about the stability of Atalantium ---or if he was just trying to hold her at a distance.
Then again, maybe he was just too tired to think of anything at all. In any case, he had enough worries without her making things more difficult by demanding attention. When he’d eaten, she stood and caught his hand. He looked at her questioningly, but rose and followed her. She and Alex had managed to scavenge enough to make sleeping pallets in the other rooms. She led him to the one she’d made for them and pointed him toward it.
He looked the room over and finally smiled faintly and, dragging her with him, settled on the pallet. He was asleep almost as soon as he’d lain down. It took her a little longer and she woke well before he stirred, summoned by the rising sun through the broken rubble.
He was gone by the time she returned with food. She was disappointed, but tried to assure herself that he wasn’t just avoiding her. She spent the day helping Alex clear what rubble they could, retrieve whatever they found that seemed like it might be salvageable and took turns tending baby Rory.
Days passed in much the same way. Slowly but surely Claire became convinced, despite her best efforts, that he was avoiding any personal discussions. She knew he was exhausted—whatever it was he did all day long, it was almost certainly at least as physically demanding as the work she and Alex were doing. But, when nearly a week passed and he made no attempt to touch her in any way except impersonally, she decided she wasn’t just being paranoid. He was building an invisible wall between them brick by brick.
It didn’t take a lot of thought to arrive at part of the reason, at least. She was to Atalantium what Typhoid Mary had been to so many—an instrument of mass destruction. She was actually more than a little surprised that none of them--Eros, Thor nor Alex--looked at her like she was some kind of monster. No doubt, if those Atalanteans left had any idea of her role in the destruction, her life wouldn’t have been worth two cents.
As bad as that was, though, she didn’t think that that was the only reason, maybe not even the main reason. She’d thought he loved her, but maybe she’d misinterpreted desire for love? And maybe the things that had happened were more than sufficient to kill the desire?
If that was true, then she’d lost her whole world too, because she was in no doubt that she loved him. She’d found a lot of very good reasons for suspecting her feelings toward him, but she’d known all along that her feelings for Eros had nothing to do with the circumstances. What she felt was nothing at all like she’d felt before.
What she’d believed she felt for Mark was what wasn’t real. That had been dependency, that had been fear. She’d been completely alone in the world when she’d met Mark. When she’d reached eighteen, she’d been ‘released’ from foster care and thrust out into the world to make her own way. No one had known or cared what became of her. She’d allowed herself to b
elieve Mark did, and she’d been so grateful for the feeling of security he’d given her that she hadn’t questioned whether her feelings were actually love, or just a combination of gratitude and fear.
It hadn’t been like that at all with Eros. The truth was, she’d been just as scared of him as she was of any of the rebels, just as distrustful. She hadn’t been seeking a substitute for Mark. She hadn’t been seeking anything at all.
Almost another week passed in much the same manner before it dawned on her that she was looking for excuses to avoid a confrontation. She could continue to avoid it for as long as he would allow it, or she could just go ahead and take her medicine and get it over with. If he didn’t care, she had no place here and no reason to stay. She needed to get on with the business of making a life for herself.
Chapter Seventeen
There was little opportunity for a private conversation despite Claire’s new resolve. He was gone all day. They camped in Thor’s broken house at night, and almost as soon as he’d eaten, he climbed into the pallet and fell asleep. She discovered after a few days of that that, despite her own weariness, she couldn’t sleep. Careful not to disturb him, she rose and left the room. After standing for some time, staring at the moon, she decided to walk down to the beach below the house.
There wasn’t a great deal of beach. A low wall remained where the dock had once been. There was a very narrow strip of land beyond the wall, and beyond that the ocean floor simply dropped way. She sat on the wall.
She didn’t realize Eros had followed her until he sat down beside her. She glanced at him. "Did I wake you?"
He scrubbed his hands over his face. "Yes."
"Sorry. I tried to be quiet."
He was silent for several minutes, staring at the moon’s reflection on the water as she had. "You were. I could not sleep because you were not there."
Claire’s heart fluttered with hopefulness, but she firmly subdued it.
"Have you decided what you will do?" he asked after a moment.
She glanced at him then in surprise. "I … no. Not really. It depends …."
She heard him swallow. "On what?"
Irritation surfaced. Was she going to have to pry it out of him? "Do you want me to stay?"
He sighed heavily. "I have nothing to offer. All that I had is now rubble…what isn’t is at the bottom of the sea."
"Damn it!" She swatted him across the belly in a back handed slap. The sound was shockingly loud in the silence of the night, but since her hand only stung a little, she knew she couldn’t have hit him hard. Nevertheless, he rubbed his belly, glancing at her in surprise.
"What was that for?"
She glared at him. "Do you love me or not?" she snapped.
Eros’ brows rose, but his lip quirked slightly at one corner. "I have told you."
Emitting a low growl of frustration, Claire surged to her feet. "You didn’t! You never said it! And even if you had, I need to know how you feel about me now!"
Eros was on his feet in an instant, gripping her shoulders. "I feel what I have always felt for you, Claire, from the very first moment I saw you."
Claire stared at him. "And?" she prompted.
Something gleamed in his eyes. "I always will?" he added questioningly.
Claire gaped at him, anger warring with amusement. "You are such an ass!"
He frowned thoughtfully for a moment and finally slipped a hand around her and cupped one butt cheek. "You have a beautiful one."
Chuckling, she reached up and stroked his cheek. "I think so."
He flushed slightly, but in the next moment, bent his head. Pulling her up to meet him, he covered her mouth in a heated kiss that sent desire flooding through her.
Threading her fingers through his dark hair, she kissed him back with all her heart, loving the feel of his body pressed tightly against her, his taste, the warmth of his mouth.
A shudder went through him. He broke the kiss and sucked a love bite on her throat. After a moment, he pulled away and looked around. "No bed--no privacy."
"Beach," Claire murmured, tracing a path of kisses along his collar bone.
"Good thinking," Eros muttered, sweeping her into his arms and leaping over the wall. Landing in the soft sand, he lowered her to the ground and covered her.
"Why do I have to be the one with sand in my ass?" she murmured, biting his shoulder gently.
Tightening his arms around her, he rolled over on his back.
She chuckled, grasping his arms and pinning them to the sand on either side of his head. "You fell for it. Now I can have my wicked way with you."
A slight smile quirked his lips, but in the next moment he was completely serious. "I love you, Claire."
Warmth and desire burned a path through her at his words. Leaning down, she kissed him lightly on the lips. "I love you, Eros," she murmured against his lips and then kissed and licked and nipped her way down his chest until she felt his cock nudge her cleft. She moved her hips, allowing his cock to slide back and forth in the wetness that had gathered there for him, nudging her clit. He grasped her hips, lifting her and aligning their bodies. She closed her eyes as he entered her, pushing back slowly, steadily until she felt him deep inside of her.
He was gasping hoarsely, tense all over as she began to move slowly, tantalizingly.
After a moment of exquisite torture, he grasped her and flipped her onto her back, thrusting deep and fast. Gasping, she wrapped her arms and legs around him, feeling her body, deprived of him for so long, rushing toward release. Before she even realized it, her crisis washed over her. She cried out, squeezing her eyes tightly shut. He gripped her hips, plunging into her in pounding thrusts that rapidly brought him to his own culmination. She collapsed bonelessly against the wet sand before the last tremors had ceased in him, sighing contentedly when he dropped to the sand beside her. Catching his breath, he gathered her closely against him, stroking her back in a way that made her feel like purring.
"You said that you did not trust what you felt for me, that you thought it was only rebound," he said tentatively when he had caught his breath.
Sighing, Claire lifted away to look down at him. "I know what I feel. I always knew. I just couldn’t face it. I thought you were one of them. I thought you were only trying to use my feelings against me. That first day—when you and Zeus were talking telepathically about the plans for me—I heard you."
He frowned. "I am as guilty as they were …maybe more guilty. I chose you. They did not. But I convinced myself that they would have used you anyway and that I was protecting you."
Claire sat back, studying him. "I don’t understand. You said they found me."
Pulling away from her, he sat up, drawing his knees up and propping his arms on them. "They did. They found five others who were also healers, some perhaps even stronger than you. I did not realize that I was doing the choosing." He looked at her. "It was not just a healer they were looking for. They were looking for a woman I would develop an attachment for—whom they believed would feel the same about me. Or perhaps the plot was devised when they saw that I had fallen so deeply in love with you that I no longer had any judgment. All I do know is that they could not have done what they did if I had not made it easy for them."
Claire studied him a moment and moved closer, stroking his face lovingly. "I know that we are both responsible for some of this, but we didn’t think this up and we did our best to prevent it. All of the guilt isn’t ours. All I want now is to put it behind me and build something for us."
He pulled her into his lap. "You are certain?"
"Absolutely, positively certain, with no doubt, no reservations."
He smiled. "Good. I would not have wanted to keep you prisoner forever."
Claire chuckled. "Is that what you had in mind?"
"Absolutely."
TheEnd!
Maiden of Atlantis Page 12