by Lexi Blake
She stared ahead, but he felt her relax.
The train rolled on, and he rather wished they didn’t have to get off.
Chapter Six
Penny looked up at the unassuming building in front of her. “This is some sort of sex club?”
Damon smiled at her, right back to his charming self. It was as though he’d never yelled at her, never threatened her. How could she trust a man who could look so perfect? “It’s my home. I live in apartments on the sixth floor. It’s only a sex club four nights a week.”
“It sucks, Knight. Charlie wants me to put plants all over Sanctum now. I knew this trip would blow.” Ian Taggart was a big man who seemed to hate everything. He’d been especially mad that they were late getting to the station, and then he and Damon had a private talk while she bought a few items for the night at Boots and he’d been even angrier when she’d returned.
Apparently Basil Champion had enemies on both sides of the pond.
Damon stepped forward, pulling out a keycard and slipping it through the reader on the door. “I can’t help it if my club is better than your club, mate.”
This Taggart person was apparently a Dom as well. He was massive and so fit it hurt to look at him. His face was gorgeous, but the man himself seemed so dark she was a little afraid of him.
“Your club is not better. You just have time to garden and shit,” Taggart said irritably. She moved out of his way to let him enter, but he stopped, his eyes narrowing on her. “Are you nervous about going in? Expecting to be shot?”
“Tag?” Damon asked.
Taggart shrugged. “I expect to be shot all the time. I don’t understand why she thinks I’m going to go first unless she wants me to get killed instead of her.”
“Of course not,” she said, shocked he would think that.
Taggart loomed over her. “Submissives go first unless there is some kind of danger and then I would absolutely be murdered before you. I would go first and Damon would protect your back. We’re safe in the club, so you go first. You need to train her better. She’s been running wild all afternoon.”
“Running wild?” She didn’t see how anyone could accuse her of that.
“Yes. You nearly got lost in the crowd at the station. You just walked off. That would have been a time for you to stay between us. You charged through and didn’t pay attention when I tried to open the door for you, and I didn’t like the way you constantly walked on the road side of the sidewalk. You’re not my sub, but I don’t buy for a second that you and Damon are involved. Otherwise, you would have let him take care of you.”
“I was hard on her when Baz showed up so I let it go,” Damon said, but it was easy to see he was embarrassed.
And looking back, she could see he’d tried. He’d herded her away from the street several times. He’d tried to get in front of her at the station. She’d wanted to prove that he hadn’t really hurt her. She’d been stubborn, and he was trying to protect her.
He was brutally confusing.
She entered the club first, ready to see a real look into Damon Knight’s soul. This was his private sanctuary. He ran the club when he was in the country and had a manager when he was out. He lived here and played here.
The lobby was lovely but a bit bland. It was nothing she hadn’t seen in a nice hotel. She was disappointed. She’d expected to see his dirty side. She’d expected whips and chains and those St. Andrew’s Cross things. She didn’t like to think about just how interested she was in those.
If the last twenty-four hours had taught her anything, it was that she had to climb out of her shell. She couldn’t pretend like sex wasn’t important. She was tired of her existence. It wasn’t a life. For years she’d been a slave to duty. It was time to figure out what she wanted. She wanted love and intimacy. She wouldn’t find that from Knight. But she might figure out what she wanted from a lover.
Damon locked the door behind them. “When we’re running, we have someone working the front desk. We don’t open again until Wednesday night, so we have a few days for you to get used to the club and everything that goes with it.”
“All right. So we’ll practice a bit before we’re on display, huh?” There were no windows. The place was lit with tasteful wall sconces and recessed lights. It was plain. Ordinary.
Vanilla. Wasn’t that the word they used?
Taggart walked to a carved wooden door that required another keycard. Naturally Damon would be paranoid about security. Taggart slid his card through and the door opened. He turned to her with a pointed stare as he held the door open. “I should warn you both that Charlie’s been a brat and she’s being punished, though she doesn’t really view it as punishment. It’s really more like I’m getting something out of it.”
She was about to ask what kind of punishment his wife had earned when she walked through the door and into the club.
She stared, her mouth dropping open. She’d expected salacious, something a bit smutty. She hadn’t expected beautiful.
The entire space was covered in rich, green plants. The floor in the lobby had been a plush carpet, but now it gave way to a natural stone walkway that wound around the showroom.
She was Alice and she’d just fallen into Wonderland.
“The light is all natural.” Damon walked up behind her, his voice hushed as though this was a sacred place to him. “It comes through the ceiling. The building itself is rectangular, but when I bought it, I had the atrium built in to accommodate the garden. The floors above all look down on the dungeon.”
It was magical. She walked up to a large tree that was just right in the middle of the dungeon floor. She touched it, running her palm along the trunk, making sure it was real. “It’s beautiful, Damon.”
“It’s a pain in the ass. My Dom in Residence would quit if I told him he had to take care of a bunch of trees.” Ian Taggart shook his head and walked away.
Damon pointed around the space, showing her where the entrances and the exits were. She watched as Taggart went up the lift toward the guest quarters.
“Wait until you see it at night,” Damon said. “All the flowering plants are night bloomers. When the moon is full, the entire place is alive with blooms. It’s quite lovely. During nice weather, I open the dome at the top and let fresh air in.”
She’d known he was wealthy, but this place put her so far out of his league it was ridiculous. Just buying a building in Chelsea would have cost more than she would make in a lifetime, but the renovations he’d done had to be in the millions. “How could you afford this?”
He stared up at the massive skylights that apparently moved like a stadium dome. The sun lit the planes of his face, touched his hair, making it shine. “My parents left me with quite a bit when they died. What my guardians didn’t manage to blow through, I spent on this place.” His eyes came down, hooded, cautious. “I really did sink almost everything I have into The Garden. I’ve got a comfortable income, but I’m not fabulously wealthy like my father was. My guardians spent the majority of it.”
She hadn’t pried into his life. Though she’d always been fascinated by him, it felt like an invasion of his privacy to read his files. Not that he’d given her the same courtesy. “When did your parents die?”
“I was seven.” He walked the edge of the room, running his hands through the thick vines that covered the walls. “I went to my grandfather in Scotland for a while. He died. Then I went to a cousin who paid for a series of nannies and boarding schools. By the time I was ready to go to university, the money was almost gone. I took what was left and put it in investments while I went into the Army. By the time I got out, I could afford this place.”
The military part she did know about. Damon had not only gone into the Army, he’d been decorated for valor in military actions in both Sierra Leone and Afghanistan. By the time he’d been sent to Afghanistan, he’d been Special Air Service, a commando. He’d been recruited to SIS from there. He’d spent his entire adult life as a soldier of some sort. He w
asn’t ready to give it up. Though she’d hated the way he’d talked to her, she could understand it on some level. He didn’t think he had anything else to offer the world except his skills as an operative.
She followed him, watching his every move. Now that she wasn’t completely distracted by the beauty of the place, she could see that there were small staged areas among the natural settings. The St. Andrew’s Crosses were placed strategically around the room. There were several spaces with dungeon-looking apparatuses, and in the back she saw something that looked like a lounge with a large, decadent-looking bar dominating the space. “It seems like a lot of room for just one man. I know you have the club here on the bottom, but there must be ten floors.”
“Only six. And I don’t live alone.”
“Oh.” Did he have a girlfriend here? That stopped her in her tracks. She knew he’d do just about anything for a mission, but she hadn’t considered that he would compartmentalize so thoroughly that he could bring in a partner he was going to sleep with when he had a woman living with him.
He stared at her for a moment. “You don’t think much of me, do you? I don’t keep a wife or a sub here. I meant I have a friend who runs the club when I’m not around. Like Taggart, I have a Dom in Residence. His name is Reg and he keeps his two subs with him. They’re poly. I’m sure that will make you think less of me, too.”
She stopped. He was doing it again. She’d begun to notice just how good he was at manipulating her. She was pretty sure he did it to everyone around him. He wasn’t a man who just faced a relationship issue head on. He tried to sneak around them to get his way without having to compromise. He was so beautiful, and he controlled his world with an iron fist. She wondered if anyone ever even thought to challenge him. It was right there—the instinct to apologize, to try to make the gorgeous, distant man feel better, but she pushed it aside. “It doesn’t bother me at all. As long as everyone is consenting adults, I think they should do as they please. You’ll have to try again.”
“Try again?”
“Yes. You’re manipulating me in to giving you some outcome you want. I would rather you simply asked. I don’t like manipulations.”
A bitter laugh came from his mouth. “Then you’re in the wrong business.”
“Perhaps,” she allowed. “I never meant to leave the confines of my desk. It’s much simpler there. I understand that you might have to manipulate situations in your job, but I’m not your job. I’m supposed to be your partner, but I think you telling me that was another manipulation. You’re very good at using the right words to get the intended outcome. I’m not your partner, am I?”
“No.”
“I’m a prop.”
He frowned, his eyes finding hers. “You’re upset that I was hard on you.”
She understood why he’d been hard on her. He’d been in the moment and he hadn’t had time to figure out how to ease her in to giving him what he wanted. She didn’t like it, but it had pointed out the reality of her situation. “No, I’m simply trying to get to the truth of the matter.”
“You were hurt that we were intimate and then I was mean to you.”
“Of course. I’m female. I’m rather inexperienced. Sex was definitely the right way to manipulate me. If the incident with Mr. Champion had occurred a few days down the line, after you’d gotten me into bed, I likely would have brushed it away because I would have been so eager to continue the relationship.”
Those gorgeous lips turned into a sullen pout. Unfortunately, it didn’t make him any less attractive. “But of course you’re not now.”
“Well, now I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s not a relationship. It was foolish to pretend it was.” But she had. It had only been a day since she’d accepted his offer and she’d been daydreaming about having him around.
“So I’ve made you angry and you’re going to shut down the operation.”
That was at the heart of it. This was his operation, the one that would get him back in the field, the one that proved he could still handle himself, that he was still a man.
“No. I’m going to continue because I read the file and it’s important that we succeed. I’m going to continue the operation and your training for a variety of reasons.”
A single brow arched over gray eyes. “Oh, I would love to hear your reasons.”
This was the part she’d decided on the train ride. She’d analyzed the situation and come to a couple of conclusions. She couldn’t walk away, but she intended to get something out of it. “One, because it’s important for the mission. You’re right. We do have to look the part, and that means I need to learn to be a proper submissive.”
“Very logical. And your other reason?”
Ah, the harder part to admit. But she was done with hiding behind books. “Because I think I might like it. Because I would like to explore this lifestyle and perhaps at the end of this mission, I could meet someone who could help me continue my journey. You were right about a few things. I do let people walk on me. I want to feel better about myself so I can stand up. I’m not a bad person. I’m actually quite good, and it’s time I started asking for what I want. That’s what all this business is about at the heart of it. It’s about communication and trust. I want those things, Mr. Knight. I crave them. So I’m going to make you a new deal. I will stay on and learn your ways and you will give me access to the place after we’re done.”
“So you can find a bloody Dom?” The question came out on an angry huff.
“Why shouldn’t I? Am I not worthy of one?”
He stalked toward her, crossing the space in long, lean movements. “Now who’s manipulating whom? I had my hands inside your cunt not three hours ago, and now you’re asking me to find you another man?”
She was quite shocked at the vulgar word coming out of his mouth. He’d used dirty language around her but there had been tenderness to it. He was angry now, and he wasn’t trying to hide it. Penelope started to take a step back, but if she’d learned anything at all today it was that she needed to stand her ground if he was ever going to think of her as anything but a prop. “You did that because you wanted to establish our cover. Don’t act like you’re hurt because this is all about the mission.”
He stopped about a foot away, and just for a moment she thought he might explode. Just for a moment she thought he might need to, but he calmed, soothing out the rough edges of his expression and he was silky smooth again. She could already see him thinking, working up another strategy. “Of course. I’ll show you the rest of the place and then you can get started. I’ve arranged for us to spend the early evening with Charlotte and Ian and their friends. You can meet the crew and get used to them. I need to go and call Nigel.”
“You’re going to tell him about Champion?”
“Yes.”
But he wouldn’t tell him why he hadn’t brought him in. He wouldn’t mention that he’d passed out from lack of oxygen and a possible heart problem.
Should she make a call of her own?
They had some time. She could think about it. It wasn’t her place to worry about him. He’d made that plain. It was her place to do her job and that was to give him cover and translate what he needed her to.
“How are you going to explain the CCTV tapes? Surely he’ll see them.”
“I’ve already handled it,” he replied. “Taggart’s team includes its own tech. He called and she’s already broken into the feed at Liverpool station. I believe they’ll find that portion of the tape has damage to it. They won’t be able to view it.”
“How could she do that?”
“She’s quite good. I don’t ask tech how they do what they do. I just expect them to do it.” He was quiet for a moment. “I was trying to protect you.”
Finally something real. She’d heard him talking to his enemy. After she’d walked off, she’d stayed behind the wall and listened. Basil Champion was a horrible person who had tried to use her against him.
“Did you believe him? What he s
aid about me? Not the part about me being a slag.”
His face went red, and she watched as his hands twitched. “I’ll kill him for that.”
“It’s fine, Damon. It was a refreshing change actually. Usually when people insult me it’s about the fact that I can’t get a date, not that I’m a dirty whore.”
“Like I said, I’ll kill him.”
She shook her head. She’d immediately understood what Champion was doing, but it seemed to have eluded Damon. “They’re just words. And he didn’t really mean them. He was doing the same thing you do. He was manipulating you. He was trying to get you as angry as possible so you would make a mistake. I meant did you believe him when he talked about me being dirty in a non-sexual way?”
He’d claimed he didn’t believe she could be working for The Collective, but had he really believed it?
He laughed, a release of tension. “No. Not for a second. If there’s one thing I understand, it’s that you’re not the betraying type.” His eyes focused on her again. “It’s why I want you.”
“For the mission.”
He remained silent, his look telling her what he wanted her to know.
If only she could believe him, but he was so good at giving a person what they wanted. If she was going to get out of this with a whole heart, she had to guard it herself. “I’d like to see the rest of the place.”
He gestured to the lift. “Of course.”
She followed him, wishing the lift was slightly larger because she was so close to him their fingers touched.
She forced herself to move away, not trusting that she wouldn’t hold his hand.
* * * *
Twenty minutes later, he’d shown her the guest floor. He walked beside her, putting off the time when he would have to tell her that she wasn’t staying on this floor. He didn’t want another argument. Since her pronouncement that she wanted to explore BDSM and find her own Dom, she’d been talking about all the ways they could pretend to be a couple without actually having sex.