He nods again and points at someone on a table nearby.
"That girl over there, she is mortal, she is in your situation."
"How can you tell? She looks exactly as everyone else."
"Well, see how uncomfortable she is? Her hands are shaking, and her eyes tell me she has not yet bounded" he looks at me "Oh, and I think that green looks good on you.”
It seems that he finally understood that he has to deal with all this in a very different way if he wants me to be comfortable enough with it. He had noticed about my eyes, of course, we live together. But not pointing it out, has been something difficult for him, I'm sure.
"It's ok, you are the same person."
"I'm not sure about that. But thank you." actually, I'm not sure at all. Much has changed lately, I can't be the same.
"I know what happened with Constance. Do you want to talk about it?" He still needs to work out how to change the topic of conversation.
"No, I don't. And I'd appreciate it if you don't bring that up again. "
He nods. Someone comes by and presents us with some drinks, although we haven't ordered anything.
"In here you only get this, it's like beer, although much stronger, it keeps us warm, so to speak" Jay takes a glass and drinks from it. "Go on.”
I take mine and I can smell something sweet. Suddenly, I feel a terrible need to drink it. When the liquid touches my lips, all my fears and worries are gone. I don't know what this is, but I want more.
"What is this thing?" I ask after drinking my whole glass.
"We joke about it, we call it ambrosia. You know, like the thing you say Gods used to drink. We usually call stuff after what you named them, it is strangely funny to us. "
There's a lack of imagination amongst the Immortal community, but I won't say that. I only want to go on drinking. This thing is keeping me from thinking about …about whatever it was that I had thought about for almost a week. I really can't remember.
"I'm sorry I had to do this" he says. "I hope you can forgive me". He stands up and suddenly, he is gone.
I start laughing, like if I didn't care about him leaving me here. But it's actually funny, or at least it seems funny. Having conflict with my own thoughts is quite interesting, I will have to drink some more to figure out what's going on. Wait, no, I shouldn't, why am I alone here?
"Jay?" I feel as stupid as ever, I know he is gone, I have been staring to the empty sit in front of me for over ten minutes.
"Hello Alex" the sweet, warm voice comes from behind me.
I turn and there she is, smiling, as she always is.
"Elizabeth! Good to see you!"
She sits in front of me, and examines the empty glasses on the table.
"Jay made you drink ambrosia so you wouldn't run away, did he?"
"Why would I run away, I was aching to see you!" I didn't mean to say that, I know I didn't.
She reaches for my hand.
"Alex, you are drunk. Let me take care of it, but don't go afterwards, you promise?"
"I do" I do sound drunk. This feels excitingly weird. But I like it.
She touches my hand and all the warmth of her body comes to my own. I can feel this euphoria leaving me. In no time I know that I will be remembering everything all over again. I let go, I don't want to remember.
"Don't" I say "Please?"
She looks at me, surprised. She gasps and finally, she lets my hand go. I still feel somewhat euphoric, but not as much as I did a few minutes ago. I feel well enough to stare at her and notice how beautiful she is. I don't care about the stupid look on my face, it's just the way I feel, and I've never felt like this before.
"I want to apologize for what happened the other night. I should not have joked about…" she means it. I know it because she has her eyes fixed on mine, and the smile on her face is gone.
"It was too unfortunate you said that, yes" maybe I am still quite drunk "sorry, I meant to say that it's ok, I know you didn't mean to say it like that."
We both remain silent for a couple of minutes. The tables around us are motionless to me, for all I care about is being here with her, and I'm not sure if the drinking had anything to do with that.
"Take my hand" she says "Trust me. I need to ask too much from you now, that's why we will do it together."
"What is it?"
"We need to go see Constance. It's important"
"That's alright" I say, knowing that the only reason for me saying that is the soft and sweet drink that Jay made me have. Such a nice way to break bad news.
I grab her hand, and we are gone in space and time.
CHAPTER 18
Candles light a big room. A big black table at its center welcomes me to the dark place. Elizabeth leads the way into the room as Constance looks at us from the other end of the table. She is surrounded by two women close to her age and dressing almost identically.
"Those are Carol and Katherine, both leaders. None of them are particularly fond of human interaction, so be ready for anything."
"Elizabeth, thank you for bringing him in" Constance draws a thin smile on her face, looking at me as if she wanted to say something about the last time we met. "I am quite sure Elizabeth has already told you about my sisters. This is Carol, leader of the Council, and this is Katherine, from the underworld."
"Why am I here?" I ask Elizabeth holding my eyes on the three ladies; I don't want to lose sight of them. It could be a sign of weakness. Which I don't need right now.
"It's part of the tradition. After the bonding has been completed, the Immortal reunites with the Leader and the catalyst to toast for eternal life."
"But that is so mind twisted."
"That's why we do it after the bonding, the Mortal Fringe has accepted it at this stage."
"Well, I guess I am the exception that confirms the rule."
"You are."
"Are you not going to introduce us?" Katherine, the woman to Constance's right says. "What is your position on the mortal's status?"
"He is perfectly understanding of the situation, madam. There should be no problem" Elizabeth answers the question with a hint of hesitation in her words.
"Is that true?" the woman named Carol asks, but she is asking me, not Elizabeth.
"Lie."
"It is" I say with a shy nod and a slow and creaky voice.
Constance stands up almost clapping at us, she comes and joins us and reaches for me. She hugs me and places her twisted mouth near my ear.
"Don't play any tricks with us" she whispers, so that only I can hear it.
I remember everything she told me about my mother, all the feelings I wish had vanished from me that she brought back. I hate the mere presence of her in this room. My only desire is to disappear, but I have a terrible feeling that if we were to do so, we both would be in terrible danger.
"Let's welcome the rest, shall we?" Constance opens her hands and countless doors around the room, invisible until now, open and make way for dozens of men and women.
"My family" Elizabeth says.
I can see Jay sitting close to the three women. Everyone is wearing a strange cloak that make them look lighter than air.
"Sit down" Constance orders both of us.
There are two free chairs at the end of the table, if we seat there, we will be facing everyone.
"Well done, Elizabeth" the voice comes from one of the boys in front of me. Elizabeth looks at him and draws a smile on her face.
"Thank you Clay."
The awkwardness and the feeling of misfit grows every second. The three women leading the table stand up and start the talking.
"We are here today to welcome our beloved Elizabeth and the imminent moment of her pure turning. The youngest Mears will rise to join with her family. We drink to you. "
Everyone, but I and Elizabeth, rise the glass in front of them. We remain still, not moving. She probably knows what she is doing but I definitely have no idea of how the event is going to turn out. I have a terrible feeling, as if I
was never going to leave this place.
Constance brings a cup to us, one bigger and more ceremonial to the one that everyone else has used for the previous toast. She fills it up with what I think is ambrosia and makes us both put our hands, together, into the recipient. It feels weird to be doing this, but everyone is so silent and engaged in the process that it seems like the most important ritual in the world.
"Drink" she says.
And we do so.
"Now your bonding is completed before the eyes of your leaders.”
Then the three of them disappear.
Elizabeth looks at me with a sad look on her face.
"I need to tell you again how much sorry I am for all this".
I don't answer. I don't think I could find any words that could match the feelings I have about this. I don't feel different, I only feel as desperate as never before. I feel like an object.
Jay comes to meet us with another Immortal when the room is almost empty. He hugs Elizabeth with tenderness and shakes my hand with gratitude. This is like goodbye, all over again, just like the day I left home.
"Hello Emma" Elizabeth shakes her hand, as if it was their first meeting. "Alex, this is Emma Warren, youngest of us all."
I salute her, and she does the same.
"I am just twenty-four" she adds to Elizabeth's introduction "consider me a close friend, if you will."
"Abigail says hello" Jay says ignoring me and Emma.
"Where is she?"
"She went with the others. You know how she is around… well."
"Mere mortals" I whisper, hoping for no one to hear me.
"Sorry."
I fake a smile, I am getting used to it. They begin to walk around the place, Elizabeth looks terribly devastated, so does Jay. After all, this means to them as much as it means to me. We all lose something here.
The walking goes on for far too much, in my opinion. Long corridors that lead to nowhere and immense rooms that contain nothing are the only things I see. But the walking suddenly stops for me when I get a glimpse of a computer in a room not far away from where we are. I push the door not knowing why, and I go in. Jay and Elizabeth try to stop me, but it is too late. I'm in.
Constance's own Oval Office. She is sitting behind a hypnotizing desk and she looks at me as if I just crossed an unbreakable war wall. She stands up and comes straight to us, not losing the smile on her face.
"So you decided to show our friend around?"
"Sorry, we did not mean to" Jay's shameful voice makes my heart shrink.
"I perfectly know what you mean and don’t mean to do. Keep your thoughts to yourself, you have no voice or right in this place" she caresses my face. "But come, since you are here…"
She grabs my shoulder and leads me through the room. One of the walls is full of names. Right in front of me, I can see the list of the Immortals she turned into Gods.
Alec
Frederick
Lionel
Colin
Clay
Edmund
Edward
Patrick
Maledein
Stuart
James
Tristan
That's just for the ones I have in front of me. All men, I can see traces of other names that were erased long ago and rewritten on top of it. But there's one that does neither belong to a man, nor is it erased. A crossed out name stands out.
"Who is that?" I ask shyly.
Constance looks at me, and then fixes her eyes where I am looking at. She brings her sight back to me and I feel the weakness in her.
"A past mistake."
Elizabeth shakes her head, whatever I do, I must not ask her again about that matter. But whatever it is, it clearly has Constance on the verge. Her face expression has changed in an unpredictable way. Whoever that person is, or ever was, left a scar in that old woman's body, one she has not been able to remove.
"Where is Abigail?" Elizabeth asks looking at the same piece of wall.
"She does not belong in that wall."
"But she just became a God."
"I said, she does not belong in that wall. It was never me who had to lead her, and I won't consider her my own achievement."
Constance looks at the crossed out name once more and then grabs me harder than she did before.
"Let's go. You will want to see where you came from."
She takes me to an adjacent room full of flat screens. I get closer to them and I see young boys and girls, some of them younger than me, some of them older. They are living freely in their houses, not knowing they are being observed.
"They are future catalysts. I select them for my boys, and whenever they are ready, I bring them to me."
She has been watching me over the years.
Constance comes close to me again, ready to whisper something that no one else will hear.
"I always had trouble between you and David, but of course, you stood out.”
I say nothing, this is not the place to face her. Here, she is more powerful than ever, and the place is full of people that would only root for her, and would help her get rid of me without any sort of hesitation.
Elizabeth notices something is wrong and she takes me away from the flat screens.
"What's wrong?" she asks.
"Nothing" I whisper.
I stay away from her and start walking to no particular direction. I need to breathe, I need some air. There's a crystal door in the distance, and the black curtains are waving, there's where I need to go.
This is not possible, this can't be happening.
I see lights in front of me, as the large window stands between me and what it seems to be a stone balcony. I open the door and cross it. What I see, petrifies me.
I am standing meters away from the Tower Bridge. Somehow, I ended up in the Tower of London.
CHAPTER 19
The Thames floods my mind every time I look at it. The thousands of tourists walking into the tower don't seem to notice the young boy standing on the edge of the building. Is it that they can't see me? I don't care, I do see them, and I can't stop thinking about the freedom they must be feeling right now.
Elizabeth crosses the crystal door after me and realizes that she should have told me about this. I look at her, doing my best to try to understand why we are here, and not in Barcelona, as we should be. As we were not long ago.
"Sorry, I should have told you."
"Why am I here?" I ask again, hiding my face from her, hiding my eyes from the world.
"The leaders of the Gods chose this place long ago as their living place. All around the world, most historical buildings hide more than countless archives, paintings, or jewels."
"You mean they hide Gods."
"Most of them, yes. Gods have been trying to control the mortal world since the beginning of our new way of live. From the moment they decided to go down, someone has always kept an eye on what was happening up here. You would not believe how many of the people you are used to watch on television have more to do with me, and my kind, to any human being."
I breathe smoothly, trying to process every piece of information.
"I should have told you about it, sorry. But we can go now. I still have to make up for screwing up."
I don't think I have time for that, there's far too many things going on in my mind right now. Is it possible that all those politicians or the known figures of our time, whose many deeds have defined humanity, are actually not human?
Jay joins us, he looks worried and doesn't dare to speak right away, which means trouble, Jay is not one for pauses or hesitation. He takes his time, but he eventually opens his mouth and utters what to Elizabeth is a very dangerous scenario.
"Constance is really upset about him bringing Malenie up", Elizabeth nods. "You should probably go."
She looks at me and fakes a friendly smile, but it doesn't work. If I ever felt close to her these days it all went away right now. I see fear in her eyes, and that's the one thing I th
ought I would never see.
She reaches for my hand. I don't take it.
Hesitation, that's all there is in me right now, I stopped feeling safe the moment Jay walk in, so concerned. If they are scared of what Constance said, I can only imagine that I should be dying of fear, and I am, they both know it. But after Jay's advice I don't doubt about leaving, it can't happen soon enough.
"Don't let go."
"Take care of him" Jay's voice is broken, he looks at me, still so devastated that he clearly makes me believe that what is happening is burning inside him.
"I will" She says holding my hand strongly.
I do as she asks, and I know what's going to happen. This time I'm prepared when the ground disappears and everything around me goes blurry.
This time all sorts of feelings come to my mind. I don't know if I should be more scared now that I know that my ending is as certain as the sunrise of tomorrow morning. I have signed my own death date. I keep my hands on Elizabeth's but I can't help to think that perhaps it would be easier for me to let go, right now, just like that, and end all this in a matter of seconds.
When I feel the cold wind caressing my face I know where we are. The building where she took me the first time we went out together.
"Are you ok?"
I laugh, skeptically. How am I supposed to be ok? Everything is so strange that even the sight of the city beneath us does not take me back to reality. I have been here before, it should be easier to go back. But what just happened changes everything. Nothing will be like it was before. Had I had a choice, I would have chosen not to know so much.
"Were all those people Gods?" I ask, keeping my eyes on the horizon.
"Not all of them, no. "
"And you know them all?" My voice trembles.
"Alex this is difficult for both of us. Our worlds are too different. I know all the people you have just seen, I have spent centuries with them, and we are like a family."
"But Constance did not include you in that family did she? She did not treat you like the others."
She gasps.
"You are special" I say, turning my head to her for the very first time. "Who are you?"
"I come from one of the oldest dynasties of Gods. The Great Council is led by three families, mine is one of them."
The Mortal Fringe Page 9