“I suppose asking what the hell you are doing in my office would be a stupid question?” Isabella motioned for Nat to take a seat in one of two low chairs positioned across from each other. A small round table stood in between.
“Did no one ever tell you there’s no such thing as a stupid question?” Nat was glad she at least had the element of surprise on her side.
They sat down and faced each other.
ISABELLA
Isabella quickly regained composure. “Give me one good reason to not ask you to leave this instant?” She leaned back and slung one leg over the other.
“I’ll give you two, Doc.” Nat appeared to be her confident self again. “One: I’ve paid three thousand honkies for your time.” She raised her eyebrows and tilted her head. “And secondly, I poured my soul into that story I gave you and I’m still waiting for a critique.”
Isabella couldn’t help but smile. “Don’t you belong to a writers group for that?”
“An extra opinion never hurts. Especially because I was writing slightly out of my genre and comfort zone.” Nat’s cocksure facade started to crack.
The story Nat had given her on the night they’d last seen each other was a scorching, sensual tale of a younger and an older woman falling madly in love. It wasn’t difficult to see where Nat had gotten her inspiration.
“Since when are you dabbling in non-fiction?” Isabella had read the story multiple times and each time it had left her a sobbing mess.
“It’s as much fiction as any of my other stuff, unless, of course, you want to change the outcome of current events.” Nat’s blue eyes glared at Isabella.
“I do agree there is a fictional element to it, seeing as the younger character is much more honourable than the person I presume she is based on.” Isabella didn’t waiver under Nat’s unflinching glance.
“I thought it would be obvious from the undertone of the story that it’s not a question of honour.” Nat sucked her bottom lip into her mouth before continuing. “Or maybe you just didn’t get it.”
“Nathalie Orange, always up for a quick repartee.” Isabella felt anger flare through her bones again, because, from where she was sitting, it was Nat who clearly didn’t get it. “But when will she learn that actions ring so much truer than words?”
“I’m sitting here in front of you. That required an action.”
Isabella could tell Nat was getting antsy. She probably wasn’t used to her games not having the desired effect on people. “That’s hardly the kind of action I’m referring to.”
“If I could undo what I did, don’t you think I would?” Nat’s voice grew small.
Isabella shook her head. “No, I honestly don’t think you would.”
Nat’s features narrowed, hurt visible in the drawn lines of her face. Isabella shuffled forward in her chair.
“I know why you do what you do. I know being with these girls makes you feel safe. And it’s pretty obvious being with me takes you so much out of your comfort zone, all you want is to retreat into your safe haven. Be my guest, Nat. Just don’t expect any encouragement from me.” Nat’s posture deflated and the ice in Isabella’s chest started melting. “Hey, you’re a paying client.” Isabella turned her palms upwards. “You should get your money’s worth.”
“All I’m asking for is a second chance.” Nat was a mere shadow of the woman who had walked into Isabella’s office fifteen minutes ago.
As much as Isabella wanted to say yes, she knew it would be a mistake. She had her own heart to take into consideration as well. “No.” Isabella suppressed the urge to crouch next to Nat and put a comforting hand on her knee while she explained her categoric refusal. “It’s not that I don’t appreciate the effort you’ve made to come here, but it’s not that simple. Nothing has changed. For all I know, as soon as you leave this building, you’re up to your old tricks again. I waited beside you for hours that night of your book party, well past a woman my age’s bedtime, and even that didn’t stop you.” The distance between them gaped wider with every passing second. “You’re not ready for the kind of relationship I want.”
A minute of silence passed. Isabella waited for Nat to regain composure and say something.
“What can I do?” Nat’s voice hesitated between defeated and arrogant. “Because, obviously, I don’t have a clue.”
“You’ve been in successful long-term relationships before. Why is it so hard for you now?”
Isabella watched the transformation take place in front of her eyes. The vulnerability Nat had just displayed morphed into a false sense of confidence and the Nat Swag was back. “Hell if I know, Doc.” Nat stood up. “But all this psycho babble is driving me insane.”
Isabella checked her watch. Part of her wanted Nat to stay, but she knew it wouldn’t lead anywhere. The Nat standing in front of her now was the one who chased young girls and drank her pain away with too many glasses of Scotch. “We have some time left.”
“That’s all right. I won’t ask for a refund.” Nat headed for the door. “Why don’t you buy yourself a bottle of nice champagne and toast to your obvious superiority.”
Isabella watched Nat exit. There was no middle ground for a psycho-analyst and a person who bolted at the slightest hint of confrontation. And that was the least of their differences.
NAT
“You have to come, Orange. Even if it’s just for one drink.” Alex leaned against the door of Nat’s office.
“There’s no such thing as one drink in this town, Pizza.” Nat slanted against the backrest of her office chair. “And I don’t like spending my free time with people who believe they’re too good for me.”
“You know you’re driving me crazy, right?” Alex walked towards her and swivelled the chair so Nat faced her. “It’s Maddie’s birthday and I want you to be there. Don’t be so stubborn.” She yanked Nat up by the arms. “Off to the bathroom you go.” Alex positioned herself behind Nat and pushed her out of her office in the direction of the bathroom.
“Just don’t expect me to play nice with Miss Upper Crust.”
“Believe me, the only expectation I have is for you to show up and at least look merry.” Alex shoved Nat into the bathroom and closed the door.
Nat studied her image in the mirror. She hadn’t gotten much sleep since her last face off with Isabella last week. She’d been both dreading and looking forward to tonight. Of course, Isabella would be at Maddie’s party. Nat had long decided against the idea of finding a date, simply to spite Isabella, because she knew full well there was truth to her words. So much truth, in fact, they still stung every time Nat relived the twenty minutes she had spent in Isabella’s client chair.
* * *
The Cube was the sort of stuck-up banker bar Nat avoided at all costs. She stood out amongst the designer suits in her skinny jeans and leather jacket. As soon as she and Alex arrived, a pert hostess shoved a glass of champagne in her hands. Nat knocked it back in a few greedy gulps.
They found Maddie at the bar, surrounded by a couple of suits who Nat suspected to be her colleagues. Isabella was nowhere to be seen.
“She’s going to love your present.” Alex coaxed Nat forward.
“Happy birthday, neighbour.” Nat kissed Maddie on the cheek and threw in a quick, firm hug. She handed her the present wrapped in Hello Kitty paper.
Maddie made light work of the wrapping. “Hiking shoes… how extremely considerate.” She drew her lips into a wide smile.
“With these babies on your feet, you’ll slay the Dragon’s Back in no time. Hungover or not.” Nat gave her neighbour another hug and grabbed a glass of champagne from a passing waiter’s tray.
“I expect you by my side.” Maddie winked at Nat. “I don’t like to suffer on my own.” Maddie cast her glance next to Nat’s head. “Isabella has arrived. Please, keep it civil.” She leaned into Nat’s ear. “She’s hurting much more than she would ever let on.”
Nat turned around and watched Isabella make her way through the crowd. She wore a simple blac
k dress and looked excruciatingly beautiful. The dress hugged her figure flawlessly and made the red of her lipstick pop. Isabella merely nodded at Nat as she walked past her to embrace her best friend.
The four of them hadn’t stood so closely together since Nat’s book launch party—the night it had all gone wrong. When Isabella had first arrived, taking Nat’s breath away with how dashing she looked, Nat had felt on top of the world. They had celebrated together, enjoying the champagne and the elation of nights like that. Nat had felt it clearly. A surge of adrenalin every time Isabella shot her a wink. A galloping in her chest at the mere hint of a smile. She was head over heels in love with this woman and she had no idea what to do. The whole setting was a dead ringer for her life with Claire. Book party. Success. Love. A happiness so overwhelming she couldn’t ever imagine life being any other way—until Claire had dumped her.
Isabella had been right on the money when she’d said Nat wasn’t ready for the kind of relationship she was looking for. But if she wasn’t ready now—if she didn’t kick herself into being ready—when would she ever be?
Nat was afraid of being happy. She was afraid of loving one person who could so easily tell her it was all over. Instead of following her heart and going home with Isabella, she had, once again, given in to fear and drowned it in a bottle of Scotch. It wasn’t happiness, but it hurt so much less than a broken heart. Ending up in bed with Cindy was just an afterthought, a habit that was hard to break. It had nothing on a night with Isabella, it didn’t even come close.
“We must go hiking this weekend,” Maddie said. Her one eye was a bit smaller than her other—a telltale sign of tipsiness according to Alex. “Look what Nat gave me.” She pointed at the shoebox behind her on the bar.
“I’ll take you up on that, honey,” Alex said, “and there will be no weaselling out.”
“I appreciate you all being here tonight, but more than anything, for my birthday, I’d like for the four of us to hang out again without awkwardness. I want all four of us to go on that hike this weekend.”
Alex stepped in. “It looks like someone skipped dinner and can’t handle her liquor.” She curled her arm around Maddie’s shoulder. “You’re only getting away with it because it’s your birthday.”
“Let’s do it,” Nat said. “This Sunday. The four of us and The Dragon’s Back.”
The other three looked at her as if she’d been the only one who’d stood in the way of that happening.
“We’re all adults here. It should be doable.”
Isabella shot her a small smile. Nat’s heart jumped in her chest.
ISABELLA
“That was big of you,” Isabella said. She and Nat leaned their backs against the bar. They hadn’t spoken since Nat had fled her office. “Are you sure you want to spend an afternoon with the superior likes of me?”
“If you can put up with someone as fickle as me.” Nat turned to her. “I don’t see why not.”
A smile came to Isabella’s face. “Maybe self-deprecating humour will save us in the end.”
Nat shook her head. “If that were a possibility, I would have been saved years ago.”
Isabella rubbed her fingers over her chin. “I really did like your story.” She searched for Nat’s eyes. “Whenever I read it, it never fails to bring a tear to my eye.”
“An ironic tear or a real one?” Nat shuffled her feet.
“In all my life I’ve never heard of an ironic tear.” Isabella inched closer. “Where do you come up with these things?”
“I was just wondering if you were having a laugh.” Nat chewed the inside of her lip.
Not caring what sort of signal it would send, Isabella put a hand on her shoulder. “I was unkind last time we talked about it. I’m sorry. It’s beautiful and…” She hesitated. “I’m honoured to have served as inspiration for it. Really.” Isabella let her hand slide down Nat’s arm.
Nat didn’t reply.
“I do presume Miriam is based on me?” Isabella managed a tight smile. Suddenly, her stomach was in knots.
“I’ve been thinking about what you said. About me not being ready for the sort of relationship you want.” She brushed a strand of black hair out of her eyes. “You were absolutely right.” Her eyes darkened. “This fling we had, it was crazy. We’re too different and we want other things from life. I realise that now.”
Isabella was taken aback by what she was hearing. She didn’t immediately know how to react.
“I hope we can be friends again soon, Doc. I really do.”
Was this Nat wanting to have the final say? Was it a ploy to rattle Isabella’s cage? Or was it plain old retreating into familiar patterns again? Isabella could hardly diagnose the situation objectively.
“Yes. I’d like that.” Isabella didn’t want to be friends with Nat. She had no desire to witness her decadent path to self-destruction first-hand. “But let’s give it some time.”
“I believe we have until Sunday.”
Isabella raised her eyebrows.
Nat pointed at the hiking shoes she had given Maddie. “Dragon’s Back, remember?”
“Right.” Isabella straightened the strap of her purse over her shoulder. “I’d better get going.” The sight of Nat tilted against the bar, her hair in its usual mess and her eyes bright and blue, quickened her pulse. She didn’t feel like leaving Nat behind. She certainly didn’t feel like going home alone, but it’s not as if she had options. “Bye.” She slanted forward and kissed Nat gently on the cheek, letting her lips linger an instant too long.
As she edged away, Nat grabbed her by the fingers, stroking them against her palm for a second. Isabella thought her heart would burst out of her chest. When she turned to say goodbye to Maddie and Alex, her eyes were moist with tears.
* * *
“I thought we could do part of the Wilson Trail,” Alex said. “It’s quite steep, but not that long and the views are stunning.”
Maddie groaned next to her. “I’m over forty now, babe. Go easy on me.”
“And me,” Nat chimed in. “Rough night at the office.” She sniffed her coffee. “I’m only here because I promised Pizza and you know how she holds a grudge. It doesn’t make for comfortable living when your flatmate isn’t speaking to you.” She eyed Isabella, who had to stop her mouth from falling open. How could Nat go from remorsefully apologetic and wanting a second chance to this person who didn’t seem to care one way or another so quickly?
“Let me guess,” Isabella went on the offensive, “girls and liquor aplenty?”
Maddie and Alex exchanged a look of despair.
“You think you know me so well, Doc.” She fixed her eyes on Isabella. “But when I said office I actually meant office. I was up all night writing. I’m turning that story I gave you into either a hefty novella or maybe even a full-length novel.”
“So you really are crossing over into romance.” The hike had not begun yet, but Isabella’s heart was already pounding in her throat. “How daring.”
“Who said anything about romance?” Nat deposited her empty cup on the table between them. “It’s about love, of course, but romance has nothing to do with it.”
“Okay, ladies. Keep such discussions for on the trail please.” Alex clapped her hands ostentatiously. “Let’s go.”
Nat shot Isabella an undecipherable smile before getting up and slinging an arm over Alex’s shoulder.
* * *
“Oh my god,” Isabella exclaimed. “I really thought I had seen it all.” Sweat dripped out of her hair and every muscle in her legs burned, but the view below her was staggering. Hong Kong stretched out panoramically in front of her. The tall buildings of the island to the left and the old airport to the right. In between a clear blue sky and green slopes tumbling down.
“See, now this is romantic,” Nat said. “You and me on top of this hill with this view. I’m fairly certain babies have been made here.”
Isabella giggled. A natural endorphin high pushed all negative feelings to
the back of her brain. Alex and Maddie hadn’t reached the top yet and it was just the two of them. She inched closer to Nat, willing to forget and eager to touch.
NAT
Nat heard Isabella creep up on her. Her body heat radiated onto the bare skin of her neck and arms and she had to rely on all the will power inside of her to not turn around and kiss Isabella.
Earlier, she had only pretended to not be enthusiastic about the hike. The real reason why she’d been up all night was because she was too excited to sleep. The words she had written were all sappy and dripped with the kind of mushy romance Nat usually shied away from. It was pathetic, really, the way she had allowed herself to fall for this woman, especially after Isabella had spoken the magic word No. No, you can’t have a second chance.
Nat was sure Isabella was a fine psychiatrist, but she obviously hadn’t figured out that saying no to Nathalie Orange had the same effect as waving a red cloth at a bull. After she’d licked her wounds, she’d come up with the most effective plan in the book: playing hard to get. Judging from Isabella’s facial expressions at Maddie’s party, it was working like a charm. Isabella’s body was so close Nat could practically feel her heart beat.
“Jesus Christ,” Maddie panted behind them, doubling over with her hands on her knees.
Nat turned around, away from the view, and nearly bumped into Isabella.
“Sit down for a second, babe.” Alex grabbed Maddie’s hand and led her to a giant rock off the trail. “I do admit, it’s a bit tougher than I remember.”
Nat smiled at Isabella, whose cheeks had flushed a telling red.
“Look at me,” Isabella said, “this climb was so strenuous my head must look as if it’s about to explode.”
“It must be the romance in the view,” Nat teased. She didn’t think it possible, but Isabella’s complexion turned a deeper crimson.
“Everyone over forty,” Alex commanded, “take five, please.” She gestured at Isabella to sit next to Maddie on the rock. Alex dug into her backpack and distributed bottles of water.
Close Enough (High Rise Novella Four) Page 3