by Amy Lamont
I hadn’t spent too much time thinking about the fact that not only was I sharing a home, but also a bedroom and a bed, with my best friend instead of a mate. The whole thing was FUBAR and I’d been holding out hope we’d get it all figured out and get back to normal somehow.
But here we were, nowhere near normal, not by the standards of any human or werebear I knew. We shared a mate and even that got fucked up, with her lying alone in the next room while I shared a bed with my brother.
“What the fuck are we going to do?” I asked.
“No fucking clue.”
“We can’t hurt her.” I stated the obvious, but my horror at the thought of what could have happened tonight brought on the same greasy ball of anxiety as being away from Nash.
“We won’t.” Nash’s hard voice was a vow. I found some cold comfort in his determined promise.
“We won’t,” I repeated.
And cold comfort was all I got for the rest of the night as I tried to find sleep with our mate sleeping apart from us. Hopefully tomorrow would bring a clearer head and a solution for handling all this.
Chapter 12
Macy
After tossing and turning most of the night, I finally gave up on sleep and got out of bed as the sun kissed the sky. I poked my head into the other bedroom to find both of my guys sleeping.
I’d be lying if I didn’t say I took my time watching them while they slept. There wasn’t much peaceful about it. Gage tossed and turned, his brows drawn together, his jaw tight.
I curbed the desire to soothe him with my touch. As much as I wanted to be the one to do that, my fear was I’d have the opposite effect and provoke a more violent reaction. And while I wasn’t really that concerned for my own safety, stupid as that might be, I was worried what it would do to Gage if he hurt me, even accidentally in his sleep.
Nash rested a little more peacefully at first glance. But as I watched, it became apparent that even in sleep he was on high alert. He appeared to be completely relaxed, until Gage shifted even the slightest bit. Then his body stiffened and fists tightened on the comforter that had been pushed down around his waist. He’d relax back into his pillows after a few minutes, but the instant Gage stirred, it started again.
I sighed and wandered over to the closet, grabbing a plaid flannel shirt from a hanger and pulling it over my T-shirt and panties. I paused another second before heading back out to get coffee started.
Life might not be all sunshine and roses right this instant, but that didn’t mean I wouldn’t take my opportunities for happiness where I could. And boy did I get topped off on happiness staring at the broad, bare chests resting in the bed in front of me.
That vision was enough to put a little spring in my step as I went in search of the coffee pot.
I drank a cup of coffee and waited to hear my guys stirring. As soon as I heard a shower go on, I hopped up and started breakfast. I decided this day called for a hearty breakfast and lots of comfort food.
Gage wandered in while I was flipping the first batch of pancakes. He walked up behind me and slid an arm around my waist, kissing my neck.
I giggled at the feel of his lips and whiskers in such a sensitive spot. “Morning. Hope you’re hungry.”
“Starved.” He planted another kiss, this one directly under my ear, his hands sliding to my hips. I turned slightly to see he’d put on a pair of sweats that hung low on his hips. He looked just-out-of-bed rumpled and his chest was bare. I swallowed. Hard.
Before I could do what I wanted to do—namely turn off the burner under the pancakes and pull Gage down to the floor to find out exactly what I’d been missing out on all these years—someone knocked on the door.
“I’ve got it,” Nash called as he stepped out the bedroom. He looked freshly showered and he was pulling a T-shirt over his head as he moved. My eyes gobbled up the sight of his abs, following the path of his shirt until all his skin was covered.
I blew out a sigh and Gage laughed. I grinned up at him and turned back to my pancakes.
“Hey, man, sorry to barge in so early but Mason and I wanted to talk to you before work.”
I froze solid at the sound of Kaden’s voice. Crap. This wasn’t how I planned on sharing my new not-so-single status with my family.
Gage shifted protectively in front of me as I glanced down at myself, covered from shoulders to thigh by the over-sized flannel shirt with no other clothing visible.
Well, shit. If I was going to get in trouble, I should have at least got to enjoy myself beforehand.
“Oh, sorry, we didn’t realize you had company,” Kaden said.
I inhaled deeply and then blew it out. This was going to happen sooner or later. Gage and Nash and I were mated. As good as married in the eyes of our denmates. Our bears chose each other. My family couldn’t refute that.
I stepped out from behind Gage.
Kaden’s gaze hit me. His eyes went wide and a wrinkle appeared between his eyebrows. “Macy? What are you doing here?”
But even as he spoke, his eyes raked over me. His gaze darted from Gage to Nash and to the pancakes cooking on the stove. He’d have to be pretty stupid not to put two and two together. And my brother was not stupid. Unfortunately.
“What’s going on here?” Kaden’s voice was a growl and I could see amber seeping into his eyes.
Gage stepped closer to me, his arm curling around my waist and curling me protectively into his body. I placed a hand on his chest, and it didn’t escape my notice that my brother’s eyes followed every single one of my movements.
“We’re mated,” Gage said simply. I winced at the way he worded that.
Kaden’s eyes flared and Nash moved his body, shifting subtly to position himself between Kaden and Mason and Gage and I.
My heroes. As serious as the situation was, I have to admit to taking that one tiny moment to relish the way my guys took care of me.
“You’re mated? To my sister, Gage?” Anger and disbelief colored Kaden’s voice. I was surprised the air around him didn’t turn red.
“Yes.”
The silence hung heavy and I couldn’t help but wonder if Nash and Gage were having the same thoughts I was—trying to decide the best way to announce it wasn’t just Gage.
“And me.” Nash’s voice was quiet and firm.
“What?” Mason asked.
My eyes skipped over to him. It wasn’t like him to stay quiet, but I could suddenly see why he did so well in Special Forces. He stood still, a little off to the side of all of us. His gaze took in everything and he looked ready to spring into action at a moment’s notice.
I returned my gaze to Kaden to see his confusion clearing. “And you what, Nash?” he asked, dangerously quiet.
“Macy is my mate.”
My heart stuttered and stopped and restarted at twice its usual speed as emotion rushed through me. Nash’s quiet, simple words mixed with the fear of my brother’s reaction, and I was so thankful for Gage’s grip around my waist. It was the only thing holding me up.
Kaden moved swiftly toward Nash. A gasp broke from me as my heart jumped into my throat and my bear surged to the forefront, ready to defend her mate, even against my brother.
But Gage’s arm tightened around me. He pushed me behind his hard body just as Mason shoved his way between Nash and Kaden.
Mason placed a hand on Kaden’s chest. “Calm down, man.”
Kaden’s eyes glowed as he bared his teeth, pushing against Mason’s restraining hand. His gaze went over Mason’s shoulder and landed hard as a punch on Nash. “You dragged my little sister into this fucked up shit?”
Nash’s gaze shifted to where Gage and I stood. A bleakness that stole my breath flashed and was gone, hidden behind a blank mask, in an instant. He turned his attention back to my brother.
“We don’t get to decide on our mates,” he said quietly. “You know that better than anyone. Do you think, given a choice, Gage and I would choose to drag our mate into what’s going on with us right
now? You don’t think we want to offer her more than what we’ve become?”
Pain and pride warred within me. Nash didn’t say he wouldn’t have chosen me. Or even that he wouldn’t have chosen to share a mate. Only that if he could choose, the timing would be different. Even in the face of my brother’s anger, he didn’t deny our relationship.
But I hated that he thought he and Gage weren’t enough for me.
“Nash.” My voice was a husky rasp through a throat clogged with tears.
Kaden’s gaze snapped to me. “You want this, Macy? You know something’s wrong with them. You told me at the party at Aunt Nola’s. Do you think they’re even capable of recognizing their mates at this point?” He shook his head and moved his eyes to Gage. “We’ve all been tap-dancing around you two since you’ve been back. We haven’t wanted to push you too much because we were afraid you’d be even more messed up if we did the wrong thing.”
“Kaden.” Mason’s voice was a quiet warning.
“No, Mason. We’re not keeping quiet about this anymore. It’s bad enough the two of you are so fucked up, you have to drag my sister into your mess.” His gaze lanced through Nash. “What happens when you finally manage to get your heads on straight? You going to fight over her? You going to realize she’s not really your mate and drop her? You know you’re not okay. What makes you think you can choose a mate?”
Nash went back a small step as if he just took a blow. I couldn’t take this another minute. I couldn’t stand here and watch my brother inflict pain on my mate, and my bear was fighting her way to the surface, ready to take my brother down.
Gage tried to snatch my hand as I moved past him, but I twisted out of his grip and lunged at Nash. He caught me to his side, pulling me into his body in a gesture so smooth, it felt like we’d been holding each other like this for always.
I rubbed a hand over the center of Nash’s chest, but a growl tore my attention away from him. I narrowed my eyes on Kaden. “Enough. You have no idea what you’re talking about. You know better than anyone we don’t choose when the mating bond hits us.”
Kaden’s eyes softened slightly. “I do know better than anyone, Macy. I also know that we need to do what’s best for our mates. I knew for a long time Alyssa was my mate. But I knew she wasn’t ready to handle a mate so I left until she was old enough to understand what was happening between us.”
I could feel my temper dying down at Kaden’s words. He just wanted the best for me. If only he’d stopped there, but my hackles went right back up when he started talking again.
“Nash and Gage are in no shape to take on a mate. They should have done the right thing and left you alone until they got things figured out between them.”
“Did you ever stop to think if you hadn’t left Alyssa alone so long, her life wouldn’t have been so hard? If you’d stuck around until she was of age, you could have had years longer together and you could have helped her through everything she went through?”
Raw pain flashed in Kaden’s eyes, making me immediately regret my words. I knew my brother had struggled to do the right thing where his mate was concerned. Had he known what she went through, he’d have moved heaven and earth to get to her.
And right now, he wasn’t saying all these things to hurt us. He did it out of concern for me. I opened my mouth to…I don’t know. Apologize? Explain?
But he held up a hand. Without another word, he turned on his heel and walked out the door.
“Kaden,” I called, my voice trembling as a sob crawled its way up my throat. I started to run after him, but Nash’s arm pulled me tighter to him.
I turned my face up to Nash’s. “I hurt him.”
He ran his knuckles over my cheek. “He’ll be okay, sweetheart. He could never stay mad at you.”
I swallowed back my tears and focused on the warmth and concern in Nash’s eyes. After a few moments, I took in a deep shuddering breath and nodded. I offered him a trembling smile. “This wasn’t exactly how I thought we’d break the news to everyone.”
“I don’t know. I might have a mate, but it doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate the outfit. I totally enjoyed the way you broke your news.”
Mason’s words reminded us we weren’t alone. I dropped my forehead to Nash’s chest for a brief second before turning my attention to Mason. My eyes narrowed on him. “You don’t have any warnings or nasty comments you want to make about Gage, Nash and I?”
As I spoke, Gage moved closer to us. His arm looped around my waist protectively. I looked up at him and saw he was shooting warnings at Mason with just a look.
Mason held his hands up, palms out, and chuckled. “If you guys are mated, you’re mated. I’ll take your word for it.” He sobered and his gaze traveled over the three of us before it landed back on my face, giving me a searching look. “You’re sure this is what you want?”
“Yes,” I said, instantly. I had each of my mates by my side. My bear and I reveled in their nearness and basked in their protectiveness. I had no doubts I’d found my mates.
Mason smiled. “Good enough for me. Do I smell pancakes?”
I rolled my eyes, but after giving each of my guys a quick snuggle, I moved back to the stove. As I turned the stove back on and went back to flipping pancakes, I prayed breaking things to Kaden would be the worst we had to face.
Chapter 13
Macy
The nightmare and the early morning visit from my very angry brother set the tone for the rest of my morning. Even Mason’s unrelentingly humor didn’t erase my brother’s words.
Things were strained between Gage, Nash, and I as we cleaned up the breakfast dishes and headed off to our respective jobs. My thoughts kept going to Kaden and his reaction. Was that what we could expect from all our denmates?
The thought didn’t cheer me, and judging by the grim looks Nash and Gage wore as Mason drove off and we got into our own vehicles, they had concerns, too.
It didn’t occur to me until I was halfway through cleaning and feeding the shelter animals that we hadn’t made any plans to meet up that night. Did Nash and Gage just assume I’d come over? Or maybe they wanted to take the night off?
My heart ached at the thought of not sleeping between my mates. But I hadn’t even had a chance to think more on how to handle Gage’s nightmare. The next crisis came up too fast to navigate the first one.
I sighed as I finished cleaning the cat room. I bent to scratch one of the residents behind the ears before letting myself out. I glanced up at the wall clock as I made my way into the tiny office space.
Geez. Not even quite noon yet and I felt like I’d been up for three days straight. I sank into my desk chair and eyeballed the stack of paperwork waiting for me. Not my favorite thing on the best of days.
“And this is not the best of days,” I informed the raccoon currently recovering from an injury in the floor to ceiling enclosure that took up half the office.
He chattered right back at me, making my lips tip up for the first time since I walked through the door. “I know, I know. I shouldn’t complain. At least I get to run free. But don’t worry. You’ll be getting sprung any day now.”
He chattered back at me again.
“What’s that? You think I should ditch the paperwork and go check on my mates.” I stood up and grabbed my messenger bag from its spot on the floor. “That’s the best idea you’ve had yet.”
A quick call to Alyssa while I locked up told me my guys were at the Ursus offices. I headed out in my truck, and the closer I got, the more agitated my bear got. I hadn’t paid much attention to the low hum of need under my skin as I worked all morning, but now that I concentrated on my mates, I became increasingly aware of how uncomfortable it was to be away from them.
Is this how Gage and Nash felt about being separated? I pictured the panic attacks each of them had when I’d managed to get them apart and a sneaking suspicion started to grow that their discomfort was much worse than what I felt right now. My heart ached for my guys and I pre
ssed my foot harder on the gas peddle.
I waved to Alyssa as I stepped into the reception area. She was on the phone, but she waved and jutted her chin in the direction of the offices. I wasted no time heading in that direction, anticipation making my breath come heavier.
“Fuck. What are we going to do? Kaden wasn’t wrong.” Nash’s low voice stopped me in my tracks. I could hear the emotions roiling through his words.
“Do you think we’re wrong? About Macy being our mate?” Gage’s voice was just as low and emotion-filled.
“No.”
The breath I didn’t realize I held left me in a big huff at Nash’s fast and firm response. Unfortunately, he didn’t leave things there.
“But I think Kaden’s right that we might not be the best thing for her right now. We need to figure out this thing between us. We can’t drag her into this fucked up mess.”
“Shit.” Gage’s curse was quiet but full of anger. “I don’t think I can stay away from her.”
Hope filled my chest. I hated that they had any doubts and I racked my brain for ways to reassure them I was just fine with working through their problems with them. The only important thing was that the three of us were together.
“We could reenlist,” Nash said.
My blood ran cold.
“You want to go back to that?” Gage asked, the same disbelief I felt making his voice rise.
“I don’t want to go back. But if it puts enough space between us and Macy while we figure this shit out, we should at least consider it. As long as we’re in Kodiak, we won’t be able to stay away from her.”
Silence followed Nash’s words. I braced a hand against the wall to help keep me up.
“You’re right, man.” Gage’s voice sounded totally defeated and my hand flew to my mouth to keep back the cry that wanted to break from me.
I’d finally—finally—found my mates. Something I’d begun to fear would never happen to me. I’d been afraid something was wrong with me. Until the bond between Nash and Gage asserted itself. Despite the uniqueness of our situation, and the fact my guys were still working through something, I felt complete for the first time in my life.