by Marie Lamba
“Come here, babe.” He pulls me close. “I’m glad you’re back. Monique’s nice and all, but she’s got nasty fajita breath.” He kisses my earlobe and I practically collapse in his arms.
“Cameron?” I love you. I love you. I love you. “Can you give me and Raina and Gary rides home tonight?”
He nuzzles my nose. “Anything you want.”
“And, Cameron?” I love you. I love you. I love you.
“Yes, Sang.”
“I… I…” I move my lips but no sound comes out. It’s like I’m a dropped call.
Cameron doesn’t seem to notice. He spins me, dips me, and pulls me close. The slow song ends. The music picks up. The moment is gone.
Suddenly the party is done and everybody pours out of the museum. It’s over.
But it can’t be.
This is the night I tell him. I have to. I just need more time. “So, about that other party,” I say.
Chapter 31
“Okay. Thanks.” Gary slides his cell shut. He’s in the back seat of Cameron’s Mustang with Stan and Raina. “We’re cool. My mom will pick us up at that address at eleven thirty.”
I turn to him from the front seat. “But that gives us barely an hour,” I say. What if I need more time? “Cameron, can you take us back later?”
“Don’t you have some sort of curfew?” he asks.
I glance over my shoulder at Raina. “Not really.”
“Look, babe, I’m not exactly playing designated driver tonight. I’m planning on staying over.”
“He means he’s getting hammered,” Stan says, pounding on the back of my seat.
“Not hammered,” Cameron says. “We’ll leave that to Stan the can.”
“You are so lucky,” I say. “You get so much freedom.”
“His mommy thinks he’s sleeping over my house,” Stan says.
I raise my eyebrow. Cameron has to lie to his mom? It sounds like something I’d have to do.
Cameron turns his car up a long drive.
“Holy crap,” Gary says. “I know whose house this is. It’s Trish Crowdly’s.”
I look with alarm at the Gone with the Wind-style mansion at the top of the hill. For a moment I imagine myself getting bitch-slapped. But she and I aren’t exactly enemies now, right? I glance at Raina, who looks worried.
“I tried to warn you this party was going to be a little crazy,” Cameron says and squeezes my knee. “You want me to take you home?”
Now I imagine my dad screaming at me. “No. I can handle crazy.”
He parks his Mustang on the grass by the side of the drive next to a BMW sports car and a beat-up old truck.
We get out. “Come on, Cameron,” Stan says. “We got some catching up to do.” They walk ahead of us, their wrinkled shirttails hanging out, and their coats and ties left behind in the car.
Even though we’re only halfway up the drive and the house’s windows are shut, I can hear the pounding rap music.
“Trish Crowdly’s,” Gary says, his hands in his pockets. “I can’t believe it. Guess we’ll find out if all the stories are true.”
“What stories?” Raina says.
“You know—sex, drugs and rock and roll.”
“Just like on ‘One Tree Hill,’” she says, a glint in her eye.
“Maybe we should leave,” I say.
“Are you kidding?” She pushes me and Gary up the rest of the drive past more and more cars on the grass.
By the time we reach the house, Cameron and Stan have already gone in.
We stand between massive stone pillars staring at the closed front door. “We’re going to look ridiculous dressed up like this,” I say.
Raina says, “Don’t worry. I’ve got your back. Isn’t that what they say on the show?” She pushes open the door.
We’re greeted by loud laughter and music pulsing in the semi-dark. Everybody is holding large red plastic cups. People are lying on the grand red-carpeted stairway. I don’t recognize anybody. In the room on the left, a group sits passing a joint around a long table beneath a spectacular chandelier. In the dim light and smoke I recognize a guy from the football team. To the right a dark room is filled with dancing bodies. I don’t see Cameron.
“Maybe there’ll be a drunken fight,” Raina says, looking around expectantly. “There’s always a fight at parties on ‘One Tree Hill.’ Broken windows. Things like that.”
“That’d be so cool,” Gary says.
We pass the stairs and I lead the way through a hallway tight with people drinking and shouting. Meridith, one of Trish’s clones, leans against the wall. She’s barely clothed in miniscule shorts and a black push-up bra under a sheer white tank.
“Hey,” she shouts at me. “What the hell you s’posed to be?” She’s swaying like the room is tilting. “Cinderella?” She takes a gulp of her drink and does a spit-laugh, spraying cold beer on my shoulder and down the front of my dress.
“Aw, come on!” I try to wipe it off but it quickly soaks into the fabric.
I push my way toward the kitchen at the end of the hallway. It’s massive and it’s packed. I scan the faces. Lots of college kids. And a few kids I’ve seen in my gym class or in the halls. In the crowd I notice a cheerleader, a stoner, and a star soccer player.
In the corner is a keg of beer, which none other than Liselle is spraying at everybody. She’s wearing a string bikini and her signature belly-button jewelry. On the opposite side of the kitchen I notice a counter covered with liquor bottles, cups, sodas, and a roll of paper towels.
I go straight for the roll, rip off a wad, and dab at my dress. I hope it isn’t ruined. I toss the paper into a trash bag bulging with cups and empty bottles.
“How about a rum and Coke?” Raina is saying.
“I can do that,” a guy says. It’s Cameron’s friend I met at the diner. Marcus the belcher. He picks up a bottle of Bacardi.
“Raina?” I raise my eyebrows at her.
“Relax,” she says, shaking her purse. “Breath mints, remember?”
“What happened to Gary?”
“I think he’s back there dancing.”
“You’re Cameron’s chick,” Marcus says to me, handing Raina a very full cup. “Sang, right?”
“Right.”
“And your name is Raina? Hey, Sanging in the Raina.” He and Raina toast. She downs half her drink.
“Go easy,” I say.
“Relax, Sang,” Raina says. “I’m going back to India soon. I just want to have a bit of fun. Besides, you can do crazy. Remember?”
“Right. Sure.”
“What can I get you, Sang?” Marcus asks.
“Cameron. Where is he?”
“Around somewhere.”
“That’s really helpful. Raina, you coming?”
She takes another gulp and eyes two jocks arguing by the bay window. “I think I’ll stay here for a little while.”
“Fine. I’ll be right back.” I push past Liselle who shouts, “Hey. Who invited you?” I speed up as she spritzes some beer at me, just missing my foot.
Back through the hall of drunks. I look in the dark room of dancers just as the tunes turn from rap to Justin Timberlake’s “Summer Love.” There’s Gary in the middle of it all, having fun. No Cameron, though.
I look up the grand staircase and see more people upstairs. So up I go. On the second floor there are lots of couples making out. I step around them and I’m faced with a bunch of doors. Bedroom doors.
Clearly he’s not here. And time is running out. Maybe there’s a basement.
I turn and my heart stops. It’s a dark corner but I can still see them. Trish in one of her tiny bikinis. She’s making out with him. Cameron’s white sleeves are rolled up. His hands slide up her back.
“How could you?” I say, my voice choked.
“How could I what?” Stan says, looking up from Trish.
“Stan. I thought—” I manage to swallow. “Where’s Cameron?”
“Not with you,” Trish says.
She takes a wobbly step toward me and pushes my shoulder.
I step back.
“You’re crazy about Cameron Cerulli, aren’t you?” A weird smile spreads across her face.
“You’re wasted.”
“Least I’m not sssstupid.” She stumbles back into Stan’s arms. “You love him, right?”
I glance away.
“You did it with him last night, didn’t you? Right in my house while I was gone.” She laughs. “Bet you gave it all up for the very first time for him. So now I can clue you in. He already has a girlfriend.”
“You?” I shake my head. “Trish, you may have lots of money and lots of freedom, but you know what? I actually feel sorry for you.” I start to go.
“He’s got a girlfriend. Back in college. Few days ago Stan told me about her.” She puts her arm around Stan’s shoulder. “All about her. Cameron loves her sooooo much.”
I cross my arms. “Like I’d believe you.” I sound sure of myself, but remember the friend from college he was meeting tonight. Cameron never did mention his name. Or say it was a he. “Stan?”
Stan gives me a pitying smile.
It’s like something inside me snaps.
I rush to the first bedroom door and pull it open. A guy and a girl are tangled in the sheets of a king-sized bed. “What the hell?” the guy says. Not Cameron’s voice. I shut the door.
If I had snuck out with Cameron last night…
I try the next. It’s locked. I bang on it. “Cameron?”
“Sang,” Stan says. “I think he’s out on the back patio.”
I close my eyes for a moment. Take a deep breath. “Just tell me, Stan. Is it true about the girlfriend?”
He stuffs his hands in his pockets and shrugs.
“Is she here tonight?”
“Look, I don’t want to get in the middle of—”
“Right.”
I hurry down the steps. Trish follows. Tries to shove me but falls herself. I grab her arms before she tumbles down the staircase.
She shakes me off and snarls, “Is your heart ripped out, bitch? I told you. I always get what I want.”
“Except Cameron,” I whisper.
Suddenly furious, she clings to the banister and screams, “Get out of my house. Get out!”
I back away. Tears blind me as I rush down the rest of the stairs. I squeeze through people, searching for a way out. In the kitchen, the lights are bright and Raina is hanging on Marcus’ arm, a foamy cup of beer in her hand. Beyond them is a sliding door leading out to the back yard, so that’s where I go.
A huge kidney-shaped pool glows blue from its underwater lights. The music is hushed out here but inside my head it’s roaring. I wipe tears from my eyes, take another deep breath, and follow a long winding path through overgrown bushes. I find a patio far beyond the pool, and I see Cameron. He’s sitting on a lounge chair, his shirt off, his tan pants rolled up to his knees. Sitting across from him on another chair is a guy I’ve never met. And right next to Cameron on his chair is a girl. Even in this dim light I can see I’m no match for her. She’s got long curly hair, a gorgeous figure, and a sure look about herself. She’s everything I’m not.
I stop a distance away and stand there, readjusting my view of the world.
Cameron waves to me. “Sang. Come here.”
I don’t move. I can’t.
He stands and comes to me. “Come here. There are some people I want you to meet.” Cameron takes my arm and I walk like a zombie with him.
Chapter 32
I stand rigid in my ridiculous dress, while Cameron makes introductions. “Sang, this is my college roommate, Ryan.” Ryan waves. I barely notice him. “And this is Stacey.”
“Hey,” Stacey says as friendly as can be. She has two dimples.
I nod.
“Sit with us,” Cameron says.
I shake my head.
“Come on. Ryan will make room for you.”
I imagine myself sitting with them. Having a dignified conversation. Being braver and more mature than I’ve ever been.
I turn and run into the darkest shadows of the yard. I hear Cameron on my trail. He’s calling me but I don’t care. I’m not stopping.
And I don’t until he grabs me.
“Let go.” I struggle to free my wrists.
“No. Tell me what’s happened.”
“Stacey, Cameron. That’s what’s happened. What do you think?” I yank my wrists free.
“Ryan’s girlfriend? What’s wrong with her?”
“Did you say Ryan’s girlfriend?”
“Yeah. Why?”
I gasp. “That damned Trish. I can’t believe I listened to her.” I throw my arms around him. In the darkness I feel his arms holding me and smell his spicy cologne.
“What’s wrong, Sang?” There’s a hint of beer on his breath.
“I love you.” I did it. I said it. My heart explodes with joy and I cling to him tightly.
He doesn’t move or speak. After a while he pulls back. “Sang,” he says, “I really enjoy being with you. It’s been a lot of fun. But I’m going back to college tomorrow. It wouldn’t be fair to you.”
“It’s okay, Cameron. We’ll talk all the time and you can come back on weekends. Then we’ll have all next summer together.”
He bites his lip. Looks at my hands in his. “Sang.” He squeezes my hands. “I’m flattered.”
I blink my eyes. “Flattered.” I pull my hands away. “Trish said you have a girlfriend in college. Is it true?”
“Look, we’re just having fun here, right? It’s summer.”
“Is it true?”
“I never wanted to hurt you, Sang. You’re special—”
“Stop,” I say in a faint voice. “Please.” I hold up my hand. My heart explodes with pain. “Please, just leave me alone.” I walk away.
“Sang?” he says, but he doesn’t follow.
I find myself beside the deep end of the pool. The illuminated water shines electric blue. I step closer to the edge and lean over. My reflection stares back at me from the glassy surface. A pathetic girl. A selfish girl. A fool.
Is this really me?
A teardrop hits the surface and ripples break up the reflection of my face.
I watch my image waver and suddenly my balance goes.
“NO!” I flail my arms wildly. My heart crashes inside of me as I crash into the water.
Down I sink, the skirt of my dress waving gracefully. I land on the very bottom. I hold my breath and look around frantically. Someone has to save me.
When I can’t hold it in anymore, I exhale. The bubbles travel all the way to the surface but no one comes. My necklace floats before my face.
Expect Great Things!
I have to breathe. I have to scream. I have to kick.
You can do anything you want to.
I bend my knees like a frog and push off the bottom, my arms reaching high. I kick kick kick. I burst through the water. Draw in a deep breath of air, but I inhale some water. I’m choking and panicking and thrashing around.
I sink, the weight of the dress pulling me down.
I hit bottom again. And no one is coming. I push off the bottom again. Paddle my arms. Kick my legs.
I break through the surface, and inhale. I should scream for help so Cameron can save me yet again. But I don’t scream. Instead I do what Cameron taught me: I float, and I cry.
And when I bump against the edge of the pool, I grab on tight and pull myself out. Stumble away from the depths. Hug myself and gasp. “Oh God. Oh God.”
And you are going to grow up and make your Taoji so so proud.
My family. I need my family. Trembling, I grab a towel from a chair and dry off as best I can. Then I run to find Raina.
“So marry her. Marry her, Sanjay. See if I care,” Raina is shouting when I find her in the kitchen, beside Gary and Marcus.
“Have a little dip in the pool?” Marcus says, eyeing my dripping hair and dress.
I ignor
e him and grab Raina’s arm. “Raina, are you okay?”
She says, “There’s nothin’ wrong with me. Not a Hindu. That’s all.” Her lip quivers.
“How much did she have?” I ask Marcus, who shrugs and finishes off a bottle of beer.
“A year. One year today,” Raina says. “It’s our anniversary. Only it can’t be, now, can it?” She smiles stupidly at Gary.
“Sang, my mother is going to be here any minute,” he says. “What’ll we do?”
“She needs fresh air.” I sound in control. Like a doctor on the scene of an emergency. But I’m trembling inside.
Gary and I pull Raina out of the kitchen.
“Wait!” She holds up a finger. “My pursh. Purse. Ppppht.” She bends over laughing.
I grab her purse from the counter and we drag Raina along.
“I love him,” she shouts.
My eyes burn with held-back tears. “It’s okay, Raina,” I say. “I’ve got you.”
Gary opens the front door and we pull her outside to stand beside the massive pillars.
“All we need is love,” Raina says. “Love will keep us together. Love makes the world go round. And round and round and round. Whoa.” She holds her head.
Gary’s phone rings. “Hey, Mom,” he says. “Yeah. You’re almost here. Right after that intersection. Just wait at the end of the drive. We’ll meet you there.”
“I HATE love,” Raina shouts and starts to bawl.
“Shh,” I say, rubbing her back. Willing myself not to cry.
“That’s nothing, Mom,” Gary says. “Just the TV. See you soon.” He slides the phone shut. “What are we going to do? My mom will see that Raina is wasted, and all three of us will be screwed big time.”
“You’re so lucky, Sang,” Raina says. “You’ve got Cameron. He’s so sweet.”
I can’t cry. Not here.
She lolls her head over to Gary. “You’re sweet too.”
“Gary,” I say in a shaky voice, “I need your phone.”
*****