He sang his heart out and made damn sure his fans were getting their money’s worth. This was why he was here. They put him there. And this was his way of thanking them. All five of them were on tonight, bringing up the energy level until the roar of the audience was constant and booming. They took turns, alternating lines, until they got to the end.
The big finish never failed to impress. Strobe lights and confetti cannons coordinated for a literal explosion of sound and color. They grabbed hands and took a bow. Then another. The noise level of the crowd was ear-splitting—exactly how he wanted to leave their audience.
A stage assistant was waiting with water bottles for them all. “You guys were amazing. Now hydrate.”
Travis grabbed a water bottle when Sawyer caught his eye.
Sawyer didn’t look happy. That’s what that tension around the eyes meant… Their father looked the same way when he was grappling with something unpleasant.
Travis shoved that little revelation aside as he reached Sawyer. “What?”
“Her father.” Sawyer shook his head. “He gave TNM one hell of an exclusive.”
“Fuck.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “Bad?”
“You could say that.” Sawyer’s jaw muscle flexed.
“Wheelhouse is aware?” he asked, noting the uptick in Sawyer’s overall tension. “Damage control?”
“Your father wants us to call from the bus,” Sawyer said, “after the meet and greet. I’ll tell Emmy Lou and Krystal. Get them on the Kings Coach II.”
“We’ll be there.” Travis saw a flash of peacock from the corner of his eye. Loretta, heading for her dressing room. He jogged after her. If he couldn’t be the one to tell her, he’d sure as hell be there when she found out.
He caught up with her about the time she was answering her phone.
“Hey, Margot. Yes, just finished.” Loretta said, smiling up at him. “I think it went well.” She paused. “Sure.” She kept walking, but her steps got slower and slower. “When?” She glanced at him then. “It’s out there?”
He nodded.
Her eyes closed. “Dammit.” Another pause. “I’m so sorry, Margot. I should have known. I should have known…” She shook her head. “Right. Of course…Hank? Now?”
“Sawyer will get someone to take care of your stuff,” Travis murmured.
Loretta nodded, her attention split between what he was saying and whatever Margot was telling her. Whatever it was, it didn’t look good. They reached her dressing room and Loretta was red-faced and shaking.
“I know. I know.” She sucked in a deep breath. “I’ll call you in a bit. I am sorry, Margot.” Carefully, she set her phone down on the counter.
“Loretta.” He stepped forward, ready and willing to be what she needed.
“Travis.” She held up her hand. “I can’t do this right now.” She swallowed, her hands gripping the edge of the makeup counter.
He didn’t argue. He didn’t say a thing. He didn’t know what to say. “I’m here.”
She glanced at him. “I’m fine.”
“I know. You’re fine. You’re strong.” He shoved his hands into his pockets so he wouldn’t reach for her. “But you don’t have to be.”
She stared at her phone for a long time. A very long time. “Travis. I apologize if I gave off the wrong impression.” She cleared her throat once, then again. “I like having sex with you. I like it a lot. But that’s all this is. And, honestly, I thought we’d moved on until…well, earlier. I think it’s best if we just don’t do this.” She swallowed. “I know it’s best.” Her knuckles were white. “I can’t worry about you. This is my career. My life. It’s all I have. I know that sounds harsh but, I can’t be responsible for…you.”
As far as words went, these were fucking brutal. “Why the hell would I want that?” This was how she felt?
“Okay.” She nodded. “Good.”
“Sure,” he ground out, hating how this felt. “No problem.” He shrugged. “Sex only. Done. Moving on.”
Her gaze narrowed. “Then let’s just forget about earlier so I can focus on whatever backlash my father has caused.” She looked at him then—the way she’d looked at him that first day. With contempt and impatience. “Because that’s what really matters right now, don’t you think? Not getting laid?”
Something gave in his chest. A fluid pop that injected tiny shards of pain into his bloodstream. Beyond the pain, he felt…hollow. It had been a long time since he lashed out in anger, but instinct kicked in. “I was sort of hoping to get laid tonight.”
She was shooting daggers at him now. “I’m sure you’ll find someone at the meet and greet who’d be happy to accommodate.”
More words were ready, verbal weapons ready to fire. But he swallowed them down and shrugged. “I’ll see you in there.” He cleared his throat. “Afterward, Kings Coach II. Some damage control thing.” He didn’t wait for her answer, and he sure as hell didn’t make the mistake of looking at her again.
At the moment, she didn’t know she’d basically ripped his insides out. He’d rather that wasn’t common knowledge.
He went into automaton mode. Pictures with the fans. Doling out autographs. Being charming. He could do it, all of it, in his sleep. His smile never faltered, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t bleeding out.
The meet and greet was a blur. From the looks Emmy Lou and Krystal kept shooting him, he wasn’t fooling them. But he wasn’t trying to fool them. The only people that mattered were the fans. An hour and thirty-seven photos clustered in front of the Three Kings’ step and repeat later, he was shaking hands and heading for the service exit.
How many times had he given Emmy Lou shit for being naïve? Too many times to remember. Suddenly, he meets Loretta and drinks the Kool-Aid? Was it because she was the first girl he’d slept with since recovery? Because she was inaccessible, he’d looked forward to the challenge? Because the attraction he had for her was…like breathing?
But he couldn’t do that. That’s not who he was anymore. He loved her. He loved her and he’d survive a broken heart.
He sat on the bus, pulled out his phone, and scrolled through the top stories. There was a string of hashtags that made him wince. #LorettaGramIsABitch was the first one. #LorettaGramHasNoSoul, #WhatTheHellLoveJoy, and #NoLoveInLoveJoy #NoTrueLove were also at the top of the list.
The link to the video was there. But Travis couldn’t bring himself to click on it. After all the digging he’d done today, he doubted there’d be any surprises. Somehow, some way, Donnie Gram had managed to turn Loretta into the villain. Considering his current volatile state of mind, Travis wasn’t sure watching the interview was a good idea.
Things got increasingly crowded when his sisters, Jace, Loretta, Brock, and Sawyer were all sitting on the bus. He was so agitated, he gave up his seat on the built-in leather sectional and paced the small space behind it, his guitar pick in his hand.
Loretta, for her part, remained mostly quiet. She stared at her bright red nail polish, her hair pulled over one shoulder—almost hiding. “I’m sorry for this,” she said once they’d put their father on speaker phone.
“I don’t want to hear you say that again.” Their father’s voice was raspy. “It’s a simple matter of he said, she said. When you all come home, we’ll set the record straight. I’ve already had our people contact Molly Harper at Good Morning USA. She’s been good to us—I know she’ll treat us fairly.”
Good. Travis approved of his father’s plan. Molly Harper was to daytime news programs what Emmy Lou was to country music. There was an inherent likability about her that made people trust her. Once that interview released, Donnie Gram’s credibility would be forever tarnished.
He hoped.
It didn’t seem to matter that she’d shredded his heart fifteen minutes ago, Travis was worried about Loretta. He knew how hard it was to love and hate
a parent. His mother managed to justify her actions so that they were for a greater good, even if she was the only one who could see that greater good. But Donnie Gram was only in it for himself. This was about money, plain and simple. Donnie Gram was willing to exploit his only child for money; there was nothing else Travis needed to know about the man.
But the question was, who paid him? Was it TNM or had his mother stepped in? And who, exactly, was his mother trying to protect this time? What sort of greater good was she aiming for this time? He’d find out soon enough. He’d invited her to lunch the day they got back to Austin. One big happy family.
Travis was done with all the lies and secrets and manipulations. He wanted it all out and in the open. If that helped remove the target his mother had placed on Loretta, then he’d be happy. Not as happy as if Loretta loved him. But happy enough to know he’d given her some small sense of peace.
Chapter 16
Loretta was eating cheesy fries on her bed when the pounding started on her door. She’d turned off her phone and was pretending to sleep but, really, all she wanted was time to herself. The drive to Phoenix had frayed her nerves down to nothing. Not just the riding in the bus with Travis and everyone else. But the video.
The inescapable video.
The edited, grainy, heartless video.
The audio had been so warped that she could barely make out the words let alone recognize the voices. Instead of her father calling her a coldhearted bitch, he was asking her how she could be so coldhearted toward him. They’d also managed to make it sound like he was apologizing that she was ashamed of him and changed the whole sequence around so that it looked like the cop was defending her father against Loretta—not that the cop stepped in to defend her.
It should have been laughable. But it wasn’t.
He was her father. Her father, who was slated for a primetime follow-up live tomorrow night on TNM. Because he hadn’t made things bad enough?
The pounding continued.
“We know you’re awake.” It was Emmy Lou.
“Come on, Loretta,” Krystal added. “We can make Sawyer break down the door. It wouldn’t be the first time we’d owe a hotel property damages.”
Loretta frowned at the door.
“That was when I was drinking,” Travis explained. “But thanks for letting that go.”
Loretta didn’t want to smile. She didn’t want to see him or ache for him to put his big, strong, warm arms around her. She didn’t want to want to apologize for the horribly cruel things she’d said to him.
I am a coldhearted bitch. She sniffed.
Her phone vibrated.
She swiped the home screen and laughed. A picture of Emmy Lou and Krystal making sad puppy faces while Jace and Travis looked appropriately put upon by the whole selfie thing.
“We heard you laugh,” Krystal said.
She sighed, sat up, and set her cheesy fries on the bedside table. She tugged her robe more tightly around her and padded across the carpet to the door. She flipped the handle, opened the door, and headed back to her bed.
“It’s so dark,” Emmy Lou said.
Loretta flipped on the bedside lamp, rapidly blinking as her eyes adjusted.
“If you’re going to really embrace self-pity, absolute darkness is the best way to go.” Krystal kicked off her flip-flops and jumped onto her bed. “Ooh, cheesy fries.” She smiled. “I brought Red Vines. The world’s best candy.”
“If you like eating red wax.” Travis sat on the floor beside the bed, his gaze fixing on her bare ankle and calf.
Loretta shifted, crossing her legs. “You all just happened to be roaming the halls at two in the morning?”
“No.” Emmy Lou laughed. “We came to cheer you up.” She tossed her purse onto the bed. “We weren’t sure what your favorite was so we basically bought one of every sugary thing they sell in the gift shop.”
“Meaning, the candy bars cost at least nine dollars each so make sure you chew and savor every bite.” Travis nodded. “And, if you don’t want it, throw me the peanut nougat chocolate thing.”
Loretta eyed the stash of candy. “I’m not sure what that is.”
Travis rose onto his knees and leaned against the side of the bed for the candy—which was right beside her. Unless she was going to climb into Emmy Lou’s lap, she had no escape. She’d just have to act like Travis being in her personal space didn’t bother her. Luckily, the thundering of her heart was muffled by the crinkle and rustle of candy wrappers as Travis hunted down his peanut nougat chocolate thing.
“Found it.” He held up the candy bar and smiled.
He knew what he was doing. He knew he was close enough that all he’d have to do was lean a couple of inches to the right and he could kiss her. He knows and he’s enjoying it.
“We bought that for her,” Emmy Lou reminded him, sighing with disappointment.
Loretta tore gaze from that devilish grin. “Honestly, I can’t eat all of this.”
“Oh, we’ll help you. Toss me the taffy things.” Jace sat on the floor, catching the bag Travis threw his way, then leaning against the foot of the bed. “What are we watching?”
“Porn.” Travis started laughing the minute Emmy Lou launched a pillow his way.
“It’s not porn.” But Loretta was smiling. As far as distractions went, this was working.
“Travis is totally teasing you, but this was all his idea,” Krystal said, sliding off the bed and onto the floor by Jace. “He was worried about you.”
“We all were,” Emmy Lou added.
“I wasn’t.” Krystal raised her hand. “I figured you might relish a little privacy, but I was overruled.”
“You didn’t have to come,” Travis pointed out.
“Well I didn’t want to miss out.” Krystal winked at her. “I mean, I’ll give you privacy but I’m also completely content talking trash about Donnie Gram. I’m calling him Donnie Gram because calling him your father assigns some sort of blame to you. Which is bullshit. So, from now on, the asshole is Donnie Gram.”
“I can’t argue with that.” Loretta nodded.
“Does that mean I should start referring to Momma as CiCi?” Travis asked.
“I do.” Krystal shrugged. “Most of the time. I just feel gross calling her Momma. She’s not a nice person. All her secrets and lies and maneuverings… Mom or mother or Momma is a title—a revered title. And a good mother won’t do any of those things.”
Jace slipped his arm around Krystal’s shoulders and pulled her against him. Loretta watched as Krystal’s head rested on Jace’s shoulders.
Loretta glanced at Travis. Travis was staring at the candy bar, the boyish smile gone.
“I know,” Krystal said from her place on the floor. “There’s the shark octopus thing on the science fiction channel on demand.”
“You want to watch a shark octopus movie?” Jace asked, chuckling.
“Me? No. But I promised Heather I’d watch it and I want to keep my cool sister status.”
“Heather is Jace’s little sister,” Emmy Lou said. “She’s at college. The sweetest thing ever.”
“We met at your wedding.” Loretta smiled and handed Krystal the remote. “Far be it from me from taking away your cool sister status.”
“Thank you,” Krystal said, flipping through the channels.
Loretta sat back against the padded headboard, a pile of candy in her lap. “This was really nice of you,” she said. “I know it’s just a crappy video but…”
“He’s your dad.” Travis almost sounded angry. “And he’s letting the media tear your character apart?”
Loretta couldn’t help but look his way again.
He looked perfect, as usual, but in a tired way. Almost as if he could rest his head against the edge of the mattress and he’d drift off to sleep… And she could run her fingers through
those curls of his. She flexed her hand, pressing her fingers flat on top of the comforter.
His eyes narrowed, watching her hand.
“How’s your father?” She sounded weird. Probably because of the lump in her throat. “Is he nervous about the surgery?”
Travis shrugged. “He’s real good at keeping his feelings hidden.” He was staring at her. “Self-preservation, I guess.”
Loretta swallowed, acutely aware of just how closely he was watching her. “There’s nothing wrong with that. Especially if you’ve been burned. Why set yourself up for more of the same?”
His jaw muscle clenched. “Because he knows we love him. It’s safe to be vulnerable with the people you love.” Travis cleared his throat.
“But people throw that word around all the time. Aren’t some people…unlovable?” She knew the answer to that. She was one of those people. Loretta sat forward, twisting a long candy rope. “How do you know when it’s real?”
Travis went back to studying her. But this time it wasn’t a stare down; it was gentler than that. “You know. And once you know, you have to trust it.”
I want to. “Or not,” she countered. She knew, deep down in her bones, that she loved him. “People use love as this universal answer. It makes things better, makes you happy, makes you whole… But it can do the opposite. Nothing hurts worse or strips away your dignity or makes you believe a lie or leaves a hole you’d never realized you had before. Love sucks.”
That was when she realized the television had been paused and her and Travis’s conversation had become the center of attention.
“At least, in my experience, love sucks,” she tried to tease. Her gaze darted to Emmy Lou. “I’m sorry. You just got married. I’m so sorry.”
“I’m sorry, Loretta.” Emmy Lou took her hand. “It took Brock and me ages to find our way back to each other. And there was a lot of hurt along the way. But now? I don’t want to think about my life without him. I hope one day you’ll find someone who makes you feel that way. Until then, my heart hurts for you.”
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