by Leger, Lori
“The convenience stores are open, but it’d be cheaper to wait and hit the Market Basket tomorrow.”
“I need to feed my kids some kind of supper. I’m not worried about breakfast. I’ll have time to go shopping tomorrow morning before any of them crawl out of bed.”
“Why don’t y’all come on over and I’ll heat up our leftovers,” Sam suggested. “I’ve got enough to feed an army.”
She gave him a brief hug. “That’d be nice. Thanks.”
After walking over to Sam’s, the teens headed to the living room with plates of reheated leftovers to watch MTV, talking and joking like they’d known each other for longer than a few hours. Sam and Carrie settled at the small dining room table to talk quietly among themselves.
Carrie pushed her food around with her fork, too worked up to eat. “This feels strange, like I’m living someone else’s life.”
“It’s your life, all right, just a different one.”
Carrie dropped her fork on the paper plate. “I just hope it’s better for them,” she said, nodding toward her children.
He placed his hand on hers. “It’ll be fine.”
“God, I hope you’re right. A week ago, I would never have thought it possible that this could be happening tonight.”
They talked at the table until their kids clambered back into the kitchen with empty plates.
“Mom, is it all right if we go take a spin in my truck?” Grant asked. “Nick wants to show us around the place.”
Carrie gave Sam a questioning look and he nodded. “Go ahead, but be careful.”
She helped Sam put the food away, and then pulled out the growing list. “Storage containers and bags…a trash can, liners, soap, dishwashing liquid…I need a vacuum cleaner for the bedrooms. At least the kids brought a TV set from the house.” She looked up at Sam. “I want to go back to my place. Want to come with me?”
“Sure,” he said. “Let me get some laundry going then I’ll go meet you.”
Carrie nodded before she closed the door behind her and stepped into the brisk winter air. She walked slowly toward her new place and stopped at the intersection to observe her surroundings. Her place was the one house as far as she could see down both streets without Christmas decorations of some kind. I’ll get a wreath for the door. She looked at the door in question and couldn’t help but smile. “I’ll get a wreath for my door,” she whispered.
The occasional faint booming of bass speakers from highway traffic was the only sound to penetrate the peaceful, Christmas evening. Sam was right about it being a quiet neighborhood. She smelled the sweet, woodsy, aroma of oak logs burning in a fireplace, and searched the area, wondering which house it came from.
She continued the walk to her new-to-her home, noting the kids had left the lights on in their bedrooms, as usual. “Time for the old penny pinching speech again,” she murmured, using her key to unlock the door. As she turned on a lamp, the strangeness of the place hit her full force. Other than a few items from home, nothing seemed familiar.
She searched out those items as she walked to the bedrooms the kids chose for themselves. She peaked inside one, smiling at the familiar mess of a portable boom box with CD’s scattered on the dresser, a McAllister donation. She turned that light off and went into the other room, already littered with posters and scrapbooks, another familiar mess. Grant’s old futon was set up in the equally sized office…He’d sworn it was all he needed, along with the computer desk, printer, and PC. She switched off that light then walked through the kitchen.
Carrie frowned at her own reflection in the large, bare, window pane, and then reached over to turn off the light. She stood before it, feeling somewhat less like a mannequin in a storefront window. A slight movement to the left had her body clenching with awareness as a dark shadow took shape, then disappeared, swallowed up by the darker night. She recoiled from the window then jumped as Sam stepped through the front door.
“What happened to the lights?”
“Oh…” Her breath rushed out in relief as she switched on the lamp. “I felt like a window display, so I turned off the lights.”
“What happened?”
She placed a hand over her pounding heart. “It’s nothing, I guess.”
He placed both hands on her tension filled shoulders. “Tell me.”
“You didn’t go out in the back yard first by any chance, did you?” she asked, even though she knew he couldn’t have been two places at once.
His brow darkened. “I sure as hell didn’t. What did you see?”
She waved it off. “I’m sure it’s nothing but my paranoia at being in a new place, and that damn window,” she finished lamely.
Sam searched the darkness, but didn’t see anything. “You got anything big enough to cover this?”
She shook her head. “Not unless I strip one of the beds.”
“I’ll be back with something to use until you get curtains for that thing.” He turned when he got to the door. “Is that on your list?”
She stuck out her tongue at his sarcasm. “Yes, and you may as well know now that I believe in lists.” She waited by the locked door until Sam returned with a king size flat sheet a few minutes later. Together they tacked it up over the window.
Carrie backed up to observe their handiwork and breathed a sigh of relief. “That’s better.” She pulled the sheet aside to look outside. “I sure thought I saw something out there.”
“It was probably a stray dog.”
“Inside the fenced in yard? Grant checked it for gaps and said there weren’t any, and I latched it myself, earlier.”
“Let’s check again,” Sam said, as they headed outside. He raised the closed latch in a smooth, silent motion and lowered it again. “Maybe one of the kids left it open and the wind just blew it closed.”
Carrie’s nose wrinkled at an odd chemical smell. “Did you oil the latch? It squeaked when I tried it earlier.”
“It wasn’t me. It must have been Tom or Red before they left.”
They walked back inside and Carrie brushed her hands over her arms at the chill in the air.
Sam pulled her close. “Come here and let me warm you up,” he said, rubbing his hands briskly along her arms and back. “How’s that?”
“Much better.” She snuggled for two seconds before spying a sales catalogue in the stack of mail the kids brought for her. Twisting out of Sam’s arms, she reached for it. “Oh yeah! After Christmas white sales.”
“Nothing like the thought of shopping to get a woman excited,” Sam snorted.
“You got that right. I need to find something to put in that window.” She stopped suddenly on a page. “Oh, I like that,” she said, pointing to a lamp in the catalog. She turned toward her empty end tables. “I could use a pair of lamps.” She pulled the list out of her pocket and began looking for a pen.
Sam grabbed the list from her hands and slapped it on the snack bar. “No more list. You worked hard. It’s time to sit back, relax, and enjoy it for a little while.”
As Sam pulled her into his embrace, she put her arms around his waist and lay her head on his chest. “Everyone worked hard. I owe you big time.”
He smiled and kissed the top of her head. “Glad to help, pretty girl.” He gazed out into the living area. “You got this place pulled together quick, that’s for damn sure.”
“I never could stand to see a box that needed emptying. I like to get it over with as quick as I can.” She pulled herself out of his embrace.
Sam’s head dropped to his chest as she pulled away. “Why do you keep doing that?”
Doing what?”
He wrapped her in his arms again. “You keep pulling away from me.” He nuzzled her as she tilted her head to the side in sweet surrender. He moved her hair with one hand and kissed her neck softly. “Damn, you always smell so good. Make sure you never run out of that stuff.”
Carrie’s eyes rolled back in bliss. “It was a gift,” she murmured. “I can’t afford to buy it for m
yself.”
“Then I’ll buy it for you. Who makes it?”
“Calvin Klein…”
“Mmmm…and where do I find it?”
“Any department store…” she breathed. “A little pricey,” she managed to add as he layered gentle kisses and nips on her neck, creating the most tantalizing sensations.
Sam gave a triumphant groan as she felt the shiver run through her upper body, but his next words came out in a low growl. “I don’t care.” She let her head fall back and he was quick to take advantage of her moment of weakness.
Carrie moaned as he covered her mouth with his own in a soul searing kiss. When it ended, she found the strength to push him away. In a voice so husky with need she barely recognized herself, she uttered a solitary word.
“Stop.”
CHAPTER 18
His head fell back against his shoulders. “Why?”
“Why not?” She turned to pick up her list again.
Sam reached out and tugged gently on her wrist. “Talk to me.”
“Saa-aam,” she groaned. “Don’t pretend you don’t know what’s bothering me.”
“I know you feel like it’s happening a little too quickly.”
“A little?” she interjected. “Try a lot. This is happening a lot too fast.” She glared at his smug expression, growing more frustrated. “You only make the situation worse.”
He lifted his chin and stared down his nose at her. “How?”
“You know how, don’t make me say it,” she pleaded.
“Let’s pretend I don’t,” he continued. “How?”
Carrie gave him a hard stare that softened at the genuine expression of concern on his face. She answered in a voice, soft and sincere. “You make me want.”
His lip lifted momentarily at one edge before he managed to control it. “Want what?”
“This,” she whispered. She lifted her hands. “All of this. You. Being here with you, all of it. And I don’t know if it’s possible yet.”
“But you’re here and that’s half the battle.”
“You think so?” She closed her eyes and turned away from him to gather thoughts that spun around in her mind like a tornado. She pictured the look on Lauren’s face at the mention of bringing Toto here. “I don’t want to lose my kids over you.”
“Lose your kids?” he huffed. “After everything you’ve told me about Dave’s antics, no judge in the world would award custody to him over you.”
She shook her head slowly. “I’m not talking about legally. I’m talking emotionally. I don’t want them to feel betrayed. I don’t want them to feel like I’m choosing Kenton over Gardiner, because of you. If they start to feel like that, and I keep seeing you, what kind of message am I sending them? It would be like saying they don’t come first. Don’t you see that?”
He reached out and took her hand in his own. “I do see how that could be a possibility, but I don’t think it’ll happen that way. I believe God led us together at this point in our lives for a reason.”
She turned tear-filled eyes up to him. “How do you know that?”
He smiled and pulled her into his arms. “I have faith, hon.” He hugged her then pushed her gently away from him. “But I do understand your fear, and I’ll try to be more understanding and less…what’s that word you used at your mom’s today? Oh yeah”, he said, grinning down at her. “Irresistible.”
She wiped at her eyes. “You’re such a smart ass.”
Laughter rumbled deep in his chest. “Get used to it, babe. I come from a long line of smart asses.”
“Really? I come from a long line of bitchy women,” she volunteered.
“No, you don’t,” he insisted. “Your mom seems sweet as she can be, and so do you and your sisters.”
One brow arched devilishly. “As long as you don’t cross us.”
***
He stood in the shadow of the plate glass window and watched through the sliver of space between the sheet and the window jamb. All he needed was a pinhole to see into the entire length of the room, as long as they stayed in the living area. He cursed in a low growl as she moved out his sight and into the kitchen while big guy stayed behind to set up her television. At least they weren’t hanging all over each other anymore. That had nearly driven him over the edge.
“I should be doing things like that for you,” he whispered. “And what the hell do you see in this loser? You need someone young, someone in better shape.” He watched, his jealousy boiling into the danger zone, as Sam stood up to ask her something. He emitted a low, guttural sound as Carrie walked over to the television set to meet him.
Oh yeah, I know what I want, and if that big old boy knows what’s good for him, he’ll stay the hell out of my way when it’s my time to go after it.
***
Sam stood and stretched his back. “Okay, you’ve got a signal,” he said. “You can thank your landlord for leaving this antenna up. You can catch all the locals…Lake Coburn, Lafayette, Alexandria, and three different PBS channels. It’s not cable, but it’s better than nothing.”
Carrie stopped rearranging the lower cabinet long enough to look up at him and smile. “Thanks, it’s good enough for me.”
“I wonder how long you’ll be without a phone. You sure you won’t consider a cell phone? You’d have service right away.”
“I can’t be bogged down with a contract. Land line with dial up internet is all I can handle, and that’s only because my mom insists on paying for half until I get some promotions under my belt.”
“I hate that you’ll be cut off from anyone until it’s installed.” “As long as I can open a window and scream, I won’t be cut off. Oh, come on,” she said, as Sam’s face tightened with worry. “We’ll be fine.”
“Wait a minute,” he said, relief spreading over his features. “I have a set of wireless radios and I can give you one for tonight.”
“You mean, like the walkie talkies we used at work?”
“Yep,” he nodded. “And they’ll communicate just fine from this distance.”
“Hey you,” Carrie said, when he got to the door. “You’re spoiling me, you know.”
He shrugged. “Just doing what your family asked me to do. I promised them I’d take care of you.”
“Did you? So tell me, what else did you people talk about behind my back?”
“Most of it you’ve already told me yourself. I got a few death threats and a couple of ‘I know people’ speeches if I broke your heart in any way. The usual, when I meet a new woman.”
“Smart ass!” she called out to him as he left to get the radios.
She walked out to the back porch, looking out over a nice covered area. It faced the spacious back yard containing at least two good size oaks. The huge oaks would provide abundant escape from the heat of summer. Not a problem tonight, as the temperature steadily dropped since their arrival. It would be in the lower twenties by midnight, hard freeze weather.
Her breath vaporized into white puffs as it met with the already freezing air temp. It was dark, but not so dark that she couldn’t see. There were no clouds to block the moon, nearly full in its stage of growth. The sky was full of crystal clear stars that glittered with thousands of pinpricks of dazzling light. She could see all the way back to west end of the yard, where the hurricane fence separated her lot from the neighbor’s. My yard. “Toto, you’re going to love this place,” she whispered.
A loud “SNAP” to the left drew her attention. She whipped her head in that direction and caught sight of a dark object disappearing around the corner of the house. A sudden chill crept up the back of her neck, causing her hair to stand on end. Her heart pounded with adrenaline producing terror as the feeling of being watched increased.
All that brave talk this morning of taking care of Dave herself came to mind. She realized that in the dark, alone in a house with no means of communication, that’s all it was, talk. She suddenly felt foolish for being out here alone, and too terrified to move.
/> “Dave,” she forced herself to call out. “Is that you?” Of course it was, she thought, trying to work herself up to being angry, which beat the hell out of being scared to death. She forced herself to remain there and breathe deeply. Cigarettes. She smelled cigarettes…and not just any, but the kind her dad smoked for as long as she could remember…the Reds. But Dave didn’t smoke. Surely he hadn’t taken it up. But if it wasn’t Dave, then who?
Carrie forced herself to back slowly into the house then quickly shut and locked the door. She tiptoed toward the front door, searching every nook and cranny of the kitchen and living room on her way there. A loud rattle in the kitchen had her whipping around, fully prepared to see someone trying to get in through the back door. By the time she realized the culprit was the fridge’s icemaker, she was on the verge of an ear splitting scream. Carrie spun toward the front door then recoiled in terror as footsteps pounded up the porch. Her heart nearly exploded with the rush of adrenaline as the door swung wide.
Sam took one look at her face and rushed to her. “What’s wrong? Did something happen again?”
Her shaking knees nearly gave out on her as she reached out for him. “Please tell me that was you out by the back porch,” she gasped.
He shook his head.
“Did you see anyone?”
“Not a soul. What happened?”
“I was standing out on the back porch and I heard a noise, like someone stepped on a twig or something. It was a loud snap.”
Sam clenched his jaw in the effort to remain calm.
“I saw a blur of something dark going around the corner of the house. Maybe the phone calls have me paranoid, but I smelled cigarettes.”
“What brand does Dave smoke?”
“He’s never smoked, never would. Sam, I know you’ll think I’m crazy, but it just didn’t feel like it was Dave out there.”
Her shrug caused a frisson of pent up fear to work its way up her neck until she shivered. She rubbed the goose bumps that appeared on her bare arms, even though the house was warm and toasty.