For the Best

by LJ Scar

  I texted Tanner. Can you bring me a change of clothes?

  "What rumor?" I asked again.

  She stared at me dazed. I think she was amazed at the way I could carry a conversation, clean, intermittently smile and pour at the same time.

  “Oh, a rumor that the company has a full-time position in Jacksonville and that you are in consideration.”

  Tanner took his time arriving, we were in the process of dismantling and had already carried most of the promotional materials to the company van Tuesday was driving back to the warehouse.

  He leaned in for a peck. "I got caught up in the crowd." His hand hovered over the few remaining pre-poured cups.

  “Take this one.” I handed him the banana infused ginseng vita water. He took one sip, grimaced and threw it in the trash.

  After I replaced my shirt, we walked back to his rental holding hands.

  “I’m going to visit Della,” I told him.

  “Oh, yeah, when?”

  “In a couple of days.”

  “How long you staying?”

  I shrugged.

  “She still living with her brother?” he asked with a trace of jealousy.

  I looked away. If there was one guy Tanner should not have been concerned about, it was Della’s brother Jace. Her single dad had a heart attack when she was a sophomore, dying and leaving the house to the two kids. Now Jace kept Della captive, unwilling to sell the family home or pay her share of the proceeds. I had never met him, but I had already determined I didn’t like him.

  “Yeah,” I answered aggravating him further by delaying my reply.

  He blew out a mouthful of air pissed. “Why?”

  “Because we shouldn’t live together right now. I can take classes there if I choose. I saw your eyes light up when your Design Management professor brought up the semester abroad in England. I think you should go.”

  Tanner

  When Hanna talked about leaving I felt paralyzed with fear. I’d lost her once it couldn’t happen again. The prof had grabbed my attention that day but I hadn’t realized she’d noticed. Between the turf maintenance at golf courses, and landscape architecture pushing ecofriendly roofing, I was becoming seriously nerdy in my interests.

  “Are you pushing me away?” I asked.

  “No. Don’t you realize I’m doing this for us?” She wrapped her arms around my neck. “We can pursue our own ambitions but maintain a commitment to each other. Once you graduate we can make it legal… you and me forever.”

  “Forever, huh?” I softened kissing her lips.

  “Yep, forever.” She smiled.

  “I really like the sound of that.”

  Hanna

  “Have you seen your dad?”

  Startled by my step-sister’s unexpected approach I sloshed some gas from the pump hose I was disengaging from my car tank onto my right flip flop. “Hi Lainey. How you been?”

  She sighed. “Fine.” No asking about my well-being in return.

  Understanding whatever slight bond we might have had had disappeared in my absence I answered her question, “I haven’t spoken with my dad in over a year.”

  “Oh,” she muttered. “He’s cheating on my mom.”

  Aggravated by the fuel burning my skin and the smell that would cling until I could wash my foot I bluntly replied, “He is nothing if not predictable.”

  “It’s your fault. Your lawsuits last year put a strain on their marriage.”

  “How so?” I asked.

  “It caused them financial difficulties. Debt damages relationships,” she retorted.

  I couldn’t help laugh. “You know what damages relationships?”

  She raised her eyebrow without an answer.

  “A man who doesn’t keep his promises and a mistress who is only too happy to oblige.”

  Tanner

  I watched her empty the drawers she kept in my bedroom. That was a bad sign. She was within a two hour drive. I was hoping we’d see each other every weekend but Hanna told me with work and school that would be too much.

  “Why don’t you keep some stuff here?” I asked.

  “It’s easier to just pack a bag when I’m coming,” she answered stuffing her duffel.

  “It would be easier if you would just register for classes and stay right here,” I replied stiffly.

  She looked me square in the eye. “Tanner, are you ashamed of my lack of educational ambition? Because if you are I can tell you I am more motivated that a lot of students I pass on the streets.”

  I avoided her eyes. Recently, I had found a list she had created of ventures she wanted to start. I hadn’t been impressed.

  “I just want you to be secure.”

  “Secure? Tell that to all the people unemployed during this recession. I bet the bulk have college degrees. What would you have me be?”

  I could think of at least twenty occupations she would be good at that would be self-supporting. I stopped myself. I had a feeling sometimes when I made suggestions I made Hanna feel small.

  Chapter 28

  Hanna

  Now promoted, I was living out of a half furnished guest room across the hall from Della’s bedroom for $300/month rent including utilities. The house was spacious. Though we’d been introduced, running across Jace hadn’t been a problem.

  Della and I had been indulging in girl talk, chomping on Twizzlers, hanging our heads from the side of her bed carrying on a conversation.

  “I am looking for a handsome, wealthy, decent guy. They are hard to come by,” Della stated.

  I studied how pretty her face looked in profile upside down. “Good luck with that.”

  “What are you looking for?”

  “I’m not.” I scratched her brother’s dog, Pinkie, behind the ears. The pet didn’t fit her name. She was this overweight black lab pit bull mix.

  “Because of Tanner? Is he the one?”

  “Honestly, I don’t know. I just think too much. I never want to have my child look in my eyes and realize the disappointment reflected was caused by their father. I also don’t want to forfeit a child over to a step parent some day when a marriage sours. I want kids but I may just need a sperm donor.”

  She laughed. “Hanna, why so disenchanted? You are young, and stunning. You could have your pick of men.”

  I stared at the popcorn texture of the ceiling of her bedroom as the dog rested her jowly face on my stomach. “Maybe that is what is wrong. Tanner never tried to enchant me, he just took.”

  “Then stop giving.”

  “If only it was that easy,” I mumbled.

  She flipped. “You ever wonder what your parents were like when they met. Was there romance or did our moms dish like this over our dads with their girlfriends?”

  “I hope Mom had romance. I hope there was love.”

  “With your dad?” she asked.

  “Yeah but I doubt he was ever romantic. If he was he forgot. He let it fade.” I sighed. “So why do you dislike your brother’s girlfriend?”

  She grimaced. “Michelle is one of those girls who alienate family members. She’s manipulative, jealous, and hates me.”

  “Why?”

  “Who knows?” She shrugged.

  “How long have they been dating?”

  “Almost a year.”

  “Do you think he loves her?”

  She cocked an eyebrow at me. “I don’t see how.”

  My phone rang. Ansel displayed.

  She peeked around my arm to see the screen. “Why won’t you answer his calls? Shouldn’t you forgive him?”

  “I forgave him a long time ago. I just think we shouldn’t be friends.”

  “Why? Because of Tanner.”

  “No.” I stared at the screen like always after he called, wondering why he wouldn’t leave a message or send a text.

  “You should talk to him. He seems to really want to talk to you,” she advised and rolled over to where her open textbook waited for her to resume studying.

  “When I think
of you becoming an accountant I can’t picture it,” I admitted.

  “Start! With my college’s accelerated degree program, it won’t be long before I sit for the CPA exam.”

  I checked my watch. “Guess I better get ready for work though I don’t want to go.”

  “But your job sounds fun.”

  “It isn’t but I’m lucky to have it. They gave me $500 to move.”

  “Did they know you only had a duffel bag and a car?” She laughed.

  “I may have left that little tidbit out.” I smiled.

  Sunday morning after a night of drinking sugary alcohol cocktails with Della, I awoke blinking my dry eyes to focus on my heavy watch. I could hear voices down in the kitchen. Sounded like a heated conversation between Della and another female. I assumed Michelle. I cracked my bedroom door to get a better volume.

  “If she stays, Jace goes.” Michelle issued an ultimatum.

  “Jace, do you want to go?” I could almost hear a smile in Della’s voice.

  “This is stupid, Michelle.” He was evading both of them. “Don’t be jealous. Della says Hanna has had the same boyfriend since elementary school. Plus, we don’t cross paths, I work days and she works nights and weekends.”

  “But Jae…” Michelle oozed saccharin.

  Della spoke, “Look I put up with a lot. You stay over all the time and don’t pay rent. Hanna is helping me out because her rent is going to my tuition. She’s my friend and as owner of half of this home I pick who rents. If you have a problem with it then Jace can either move out or we can sell the house like I’ve been pitching for two years.”

  “We’re not going anywhere.” Jace sounded irritated as he moved around the kitchen.

  Pinkie’s nose wedged in the crack in the door as she tried to widen it to fit her body. My bedroom door creaked and the conversation died below. Deciding to shower, I gathered my toiletries and made for the upstairs bathroom I shared with Della.

  The steam lifted. With freshly washed and dried hair, I padded to my room in a robe that would befit a nun. Closing the door, I spoke to Pinkie who had her leash dangling from her mouth. “No time for a beach walk. The goal today is to go see Tanner.” I finished dressing while the dog went to sleep, snoring with one eye opened and twitching as she ran in a doggy dream.

  With my overnight bag in hand, I walked downstairs and came upon a stranger. A thin, strawberry blonde with some glaringly false breasts sat on the couch painting her toenails.

  “Hi, I’m Hanna.” I smiled and offered my hand.

  “Michelle.” She kept her body pivoted forward ignoring my offer.

  “Can you tell Della I went to spend the day with Tanner?”

  “Tanner?”

  “My boyfriend. The love of my life.”

  Chapter 29

  Hanna

  In Tanner’s childhood home after so long of an absence I felt weird. I leaned back on his bed keeping my legs bent. The ceiling was a swirling pattern of plaster shells. Many of my worst sexual encounters with Tanner had been spent using those shells as a focus point.

  We’d just ended a tiresome Sunday and Tanner was slowly...reluctantly readying for his return to campus. “I feel like shit.”

  “I know.” I stared at the ceiling.

  “When Trev started crying I thought I would lose it.”

  A tear slipped down my cheek. “He doesn’t understand.”

  We’d checked Trevor out for the day. Gone to the beach and brought him home for lunch with his parents. As Tanner got ready for his departure his parents offered to take Trevor back to his group home to save us the trip. Trevor became upset, begging to come home and live with them. His father seemed close to relenting but his mother coldly told him no.

  Tooth and Nail was a small dark, hole in the wall bar nestled between a bikini shop and diner on a beach promenade. The biggest draw it held was an open courtyard that faced the ocean.

  Busily hawking product on the patio I’d been unable to scope the clientele, a nervous habit I couldn’t break since returning. A nearby table was debating having another picture of beer or calling it a night.

  “Let’s switch to the concoction she’s mixing.” The request came from a male at a nearby table.

  I had a cardboard stand with a semi-cool logo blocking my view but I heard a familiar voice reply, “Leave it, man. I know her.”

  I leaned beyond the merchandise and snuck a quick look. Relieved, I nodded back at Clay, Bowzer’s owner. He rose and came over.

  “You’re not old enough to be here,” he teased.

  “Over twenty-one doesn’t start until after 10,” I answered as he leaned in for a quick hug. “How is Bowzer?”

  “He ate the trim off my cabinets last week.”

  I laughed. “He was probably bored.”

  He looked quizzically back at his friends as they got rowdier. “What have you been up to?”

  “I was living in Utah, then California, then Montana but I’m back in the Sunshine state for awhile.”

  He picked up a sample. “Do you like this gig?”

  “Are you kidding? Marketing nutritionally void beverages in clothes that would have fit me when I was twelve is like my dream job.”

  He laughed. “Is this all you do?”

  “No, I also pull point of sale materials for route drivers before their shifts, conduct meetings where management forces all employees to taste test gross new products, and I take inventory in a 20° freezer.”

  He studied his sample, and took a whiff. “What is this?”

  “Taro Root Pomegranate Guava flavored vitamin water.” I knew it was disgusting. I had tasted it last week and suffered through all the sales reps and route drivers grumbling about the product’s terrible aftertaste. One of the fearless leaders in management had offered that the first to call in a sale to customer service from one of their customers could take a personal day of their choosing. A tool named Randy always won sales contests because his dad owned a grocery on his route. He called in his case being sold before he even pulled out of the parking lot.

  “You ever house sit?”

  “Used to, why?”

  “The girlfriend and I are taking a dive trip down to Cozumel. I’d rather pay someone to dog sit than board Bowzer.”

  The last day of the workweek, found me in my usual Friday chore thinking about winter. Wishing Florida had more of a season beyond a mere blip of temperatures. Remembering the golds, oranges and reds of dying leaves that were so much more fall like than the pine needles and palm fronds that only went from green to brown.

  I cleaned up the used cups and tossed the remainder of the week’s bad holiday concoction of pumpkin cranberry infused ginseng vitamin water in the trash. The speaker blared from the phone in the conference room. I was requested to the office of the VP of promotions.

  An hour later, I had my schedule dictated to me for the month. Lots of grocers, some restaurants but more bars, and the zoo of all places were on my itinerary.

  “Michelle is down there.” Della stopped me from where she sat hidden on the top step. She rolled her eyes. “They’ve been fighting.”

  I could hear Michelle bitching Jace out. “What’s her problem?” I asked startled when I heard the definite sound of glass shattering.

  “Jace told her he didn’t like her always displaying so much cleavage.” We eavesdropped further. “Please, please break up. I can’t take hearing them boinking again,” Della muttered as I sat down beside her.

  I laughed. “Boinking?”

  “You said we needed to clean up our language. That’s better than fucking.”

  “You’re right.” I smiled.

  The argument grew quiet. “Crap, they’re gonna patch things up.”

  I studied her disappointed expression.

  “I’m not giving up. I saw him checking out your ass yesterday when you were bent down in the fridge.”

  “You’re making that up.”

  She smiled mischievously. “No, I’m not.”
/>   “Della?” Jace’s voice called from downstairs.

  “What?” she blared back at him.

  “Come down here.”

  We both trudged down the stairs as if we were children about to be scolded. Jace had his arm around Michelle’s shoulders.

  “We’re going to have a party!” Michele blurted the news so enthusiastically I almost thought she was going to say we’re engaged.

  Jace pulled out a chair at the kitchen table.

  “So?” Della asked with little interest.

  “It was going to be a surprise.” Michelle leaned towards us and mock whispered, “Jace is throwing me an anniversary party.”

  “An anniversary party?” Della feigned anticipation sarcastically.

  Michelle took a spot on Jace’s lap showing us more thigh exposed from her mini-skirt than two hetero girls cared to see. “Yep, to celebrate our one year anniversary. Renewing our commitment to each other.”

  “So this celebration. What are you doing?” Della asked not hiding the laughter in her voice as she mocked Michelle for being deterred from a fight by Jace’s ludicrous idea.

  “Oooh, Pinkie, bad dog. Get down!” Michelle commanded and shoved at the hulking dog that came from out of nowhere to place her paws on her lap.

  “Here girl.” I clapped my hands and she diverted her attention to me like a long lost friend.

  Michelle squinted her eyes at me and clapped her hands as well. “Pinkie come back to momma.”

  With a lolling tongue, Pinkie drooled on my feet. “Stupid dog,” Michelle muttered.

  I picked up her leash hanging from a peg by the kitchen door. “I’ll just take her for a walk so you guys can hash out plans for your big day.”

  “Wait for me.” Della grabbed her purse and counted some cash. “Let’s get a Panini for lunch.”

  Jace scowled at Della, “I thought you were doing Weight Watchers.”