by India Kells
Deva closed her eyes as Aleksei spewed his pain and regret to his brother. People like them were filled with it, it was what drove them, pushed them, made them survivors.
“I’m sorry for what you went through, Aleksei. If I could, I would take it all on me. But I can’t change the past. Hate me for it, if you want, I don’t care. But even if you hate me, even if you despise who I am, what I do, my allies and my enemies, you are my brother. Nothing, nobody, not even you can change that.” Lazarus’s expression was one of a man tormented, making her heart squeeze in compassion.
Aleksei cursed as he started walking the small space. Deva’s head started pounding, and she let herself fall on the couch, a shiver going through her body.
Lance, who still remained silent, went into his room and returned with a large flannel shirt. Smiling at him, she put in on. Aleksei’s eyes narrowed as he looked at her and then at Lance. Sensing another storm brewing, she decided to deflect.
“What do you want to do Aleksei? What was that agreement with Finch?”
“You are asking questions, but answering few of my own.”
Deva let her head fall backward for a moment. “If I answer, will you believe me? You don’t trust your own brother, what about me? I’m a complete stranger. I like my head right where it is, thank you.”
“It’s my brother who hired you, who put you in my path?”
“It’s more complicated than that.” Lazarus stepped forward, ready to take any sort of blame, but she wasn’t about to hide from anything.
“It’s not. Your brother was scared for you, especially since Finch tried to kill his mother a few months back.”
Aleksei’s stormy gaze flashed to his brother’s. “Is that true?”
Lance came to sit on the couch arm near Deva, raised his hand. “I can confirm. I participated in the rescue. Lazarus is telling the truth.”
Aleksei blinked and turned to him. “You and Lazarus already know each other?”
“I was part of the team asked to save his mother. And after I almost croaked due to loss of blood, I needed a break. I started traveling. My only goal when I came here, was to start training with Rusty. But it seems that working for Beatrice Dante is a little like Hotel California. Destiny can be a bitch. Just to be clear, I jumped in to help Deva. But now I’m more concerned about Finch, I know first hand what he’s capable of.” Lance turned to the bearded man. “What’s his deal? Why has he returned?”
Lazarus’s expression turned dark. “Jamieson Finch was a name I knew even before I learned that he was my father. He approached me years ago, telling me I was his son, and asking me to be part of his organization, his heir presumptive. I refused. There was something sketchy about it. While I was part of MI6, we kept an eye on him as his power grew. What we didn’t expect was for him to grow that quickly, and to have so many threads intersecting into so many fields. When we started moving on him, his political ties were too strong, protecting him as he moved to the US. All we could attack, we did, but he’s some sort of hydra, you cut one head, two more take its place. That’s when I decided to branch out, to quit MI6. In the shadows, I could have moved more quickly and with some degree of success. That’s when he decided to retaliate and attack my mother. With the help of friends, such as Lance, Gabrielle, and Beatrice, we rescued her, and some kids whom Finch used as collateral. That’s my Achilles’ heel; family. And you are family to me, Aleksei. I know you are somehow linked to the Bratva, and you have made some kind of deal with Finch. I’m willing to do whatever it takes to help you out, but Finch needs to be stopped. I’m laying down all my cards for you to see. There is no trick. All you can give me, I will take. And if you decide not to, all I ask of you is to lay low until I can take this rabid dog down.”
Deva almost whistled at Lazarus. The man was taking a serious risk for a brother he didn’t really know. Or which side he was on. But she understood. One thing Aleksei didn’t tolerate was tricks and lies, so Lazarus offered him the truth. All of it.
The Russian stayed silent, deep in thoughts. Then he turned to her.
“And you? What’s your part in this?”
Deva shrugged and cleared her scratchy throat. “Lazarus and I have a common friend, Beatrice, who rescued me years ago from my father’s MC, you’ve seen my tattoo anyway. She offered me a new life. I owed her my life. So, when she reached out to me, and Lazarus told me who you were, I decided to help. And then I saw what you were doing, trying to get your life back somehow, fighting demons like I did years ago, I knew what it felt like. I was only there to make sure you stayed safe and try to find out what Finch’s intentions or plans were for you.”
At her words, Aleksei snorted in derision. “Protect me? A woman?”
Anger rose inside her, her throat tickling she started to cough. “You think protection is only muscle? It takes a good amount of knowledge and brain to survive in this world. They needed someone who could think like those monsters, so they hired a monster’s spawn.”
Ignoring her tired body and pulsing headache, she got to her feet, discarding Lance’s shirt to show the tattoo on her back. “My mother died of cancer when I was twelve years old. That’s when my childhood stopped. Abruptly, for lack of better word. I got tattooed with the MC crest and family symbols the next year. They strapped me to a table and gagged me. When it didn’t work, they forced gin down my throat to calm me down. To this day I can’t smell that liquor without gagging. When I thought the worst was over, I was denied education, no more learning for me as an MC princess is in no need of such a thing. I was sixteen when my older brother started fighting in the cage. In underground tournaments for my father. Exactly like you. They trained him, but the rage wasn’t in his blood. He couldn’t back down, he was Johnny, the son of the almighty Mex Johnson. Almost every night he came in battered and bloodied, and I was the only one, with my cousin Sasha, able to take care of him. He tried to escape, but apart from being beaten up even more by our father, it didn’t do any good. Then, one day, he just disappeared. Without a word, not even to me. A year later, we learned that he had joined the army when a man came to our house and announced that he was dead. Stepped on a mine and he blew up. Do you know what my father did? He didn’t even shed a tear. He just turned to me and told me that I was now the one to secure the family line. And it meant getting married to another club prominent member. A tactical merger as he called it.”
The memory made her throat raw with emotions, making her coughing even worse, but she didn’t stop. “You suffered, oh mighty Aleksei Voronov? Big deal. We all have. But at least you have someone by your side. That’s more than I ever had. So, get your head out of your butt and do something about it.”
Her throat and chest burned, and she was caught in a fit of coughing. Her eyes filled with tears, blurring her vision, and it took all her might to push panic down until she could finally gulp a decent inhale of air.
Once she blinked a couple of times, Deva realized that she was on her knees surrounded by three panicking men. The image made her laugh and cough some more.
A water bottle was shoved in her hand, and she tried to thank Lance, but her voice sounded like a croak.
Gulping the cold liquid down, it felt good but didn’t alleviate the ache in her chest. Ignoring it, she pushed herself off the ugly carpeted floor. Aleksei and Lance each grabbed one of her arms and helped her sit down on the couch again. Lazarus crouched in front of her, and she could swear Aleksei growled. The man sounded more and more like a wolf.
“Are you alright?”
Deva nodded, trying to sound reassuring. “Yeah, I’m just tired. I can’t think straight. I’ll take a nap in your guest room Lance if you don’t mind.”
“No trouble, Deva. Take my room. The bed is more comfortable.”
She could have made a thousand jokes about it, but every passing minute made her more achy and tired. A shiver went through her and immediately, Lance’s shirt was pulled more securely around her shoulders, thanks to Aleksei. The man hovered, bu
t she was still too angry at him to allow his body so close to hers.
As she moved toward the room, she stopped in her tracks when she realized she was the head of a choo-choo train, with the three men on her heels.
Turning slowly, minding her throbbing head, she frowned.
“Okay, I’m going into this room alone. I’m fine, just tired.” When Aleksei opened his mouth, she shushed him. “Alone. You guys need to talk. And I mean talk. When I come out, the situation better be clear and sides taken.” She winked and smiled at Lance. “I meant the crazy brothers, obviously, not you. Okay, I’m blabbing. Nighty night.”
And before any of them could respond she shut the door on Aleksei’s incredulous face. And she was certain the Russian words she heard from behind the door weren’t him wishing her goodnight.
Chapter 17
Fear coursed through her body as Deva stood surrounded by her father’s motorcycle club. So many faces, some familiar, even friendly. Others with daggers in their eyes. Rugged faces, old, young. So many people, it was becoming oppressive. There was no way out, the circle a tight and unyielding mass of men whose faces blended into one another.
Over and over Deva made her way around and tried to push them apart and escape, but the more she pushed, the more the wall of men shrunk. Running around, she started to slip, and when she looked down, blood was streaking the concrete floor.
Following the scarlet stream, she saw her brother, lying on the ground in agony, his sand-colored uniform drenched red and tattered, his blond hair matted with gore and brain matter.
Deva sobbed as she ran to him and fell on her knees by his side. His body was mangled, part of his leg gone and blood was pumping out of him at the fading beat of his heart. She tried to compress his leg wound with her hands, but the exposed muscles trembled under her soaked fingers, making it impossible to staunch the flow.
Deva scrambled by his head and gently cradled his beloved face in her hands tracing the features she had longed so often to see once more.
“Johnny, please, stay with me, I’m gonna get help, you’ll be fine.”
And the face she knew so well, her only anchor in this world smiled. Her heart constricted into a painful knot, and all the sorrow and loss she had felt pouring out of her as tears fell.
“Please, please don’t leave me, Johnny. Please, I’m so scared. I can’t make it alone.”
“Vic, I love you, but I need to go. You gotta let me go.”
Deva sobbed at his nickname for her, and as his life slipped away, she held to his body even harder, touching him, shaking him as if her anger and stubbornness alone would bring him back. It was the first time she’d ever seen him dressed as a soldier. And then she noticed his service gun.
Looking up and seeing the patched and crested men closing in, she grabbed his weapon and started firing at them. Bullets went through the bodies, and still, they stood, closing in more and more. They wouldn’t get her alive. She turned the gun to her head and pulled the trigger.
The gun fell from her hands as she remained breathing, the deafening sound hurting her ears. There was nowhere to run, no possible escape, and then she saw her father appeared from behind his men, followed by a hooded figure.
“Daughter. Princess. You have finally returned, and this time I’ll make sure you remain with us. No more running, no more hiding, no more lies. I will not see you flee your future husband again. Accept your duty.”
“Never!” She screamed while still clutching the lifeless body of her brother.
Mex Johnson crouched before her, his face the most ruthless she had ever seen, a devious grin on his mouth.
“You will bend to my will. As they all do.”
And before she could blink, the shadowy figure descended on her, pinning her down as she screamed and clawed to get away.”
“Deva, dammit, get a grip!”
The female voice was familiar, but so out of place, it made Deva freeze. And surprisingly, the shadow pushing her down stopped moving. Images blended in front of her. Juggling her memory, she thought it was Sasha she had heard.
“Solnyshka, come back. You’re safe.” Aleksei. And the shadow blurred with his form, as she realized that she was pinned down on a wide bed. Still too caught up in her nightmare, trying to flee, grabbing Sasha’s arm in desperation.
“Sasha. Help me, he’s back, he’s going to take me. I can’t let that happen. The gun, the gun didn’t work. I put it on my head, and it didn’t work again. I won’t go with them.”
Words tumbled out of her, as the fear she had carefully wrapped up and hidden deep down inside her mind was unleashed. Images changed with the faces in front of her. Sasha carefully unlatched her hand from her arm, and it was Aleksei who filled her vision, his voice low and strong.
“Nobody is going to take you, lyubimaya. I won’t allow it. You are safe here.”
And it was him she now clung to like a lifeline. “You don’t understand, he comes in the dark, there is no way to flee, I’m surrounded. There is no protection, except in death.”
If possible, Aleksei’s face turned even fiercer. “Nobody is going to hurt you. You are safe in my care. The monsters are only due to your fever. Sasha is taking care of you, and the shadows will go away. Now breathe for me, Deva. Deep breaths. I won’t let you go until you fall asleep. I promise.”
Deva tried to breathe, her eyes fixed on Aleksei’s swirling pools of mercury until fatigue took over. His strength and heat infused her body, calming the panic. Her body relaxed finally, and tears spilled down her cheeks. “I couldn’t save him, Aleksei. I couldn’t save, Johnny. I’m so sorry.”
Sasha worried face softened as she bent down to kiss her forehead. “Nobody could save your brother, Deva. Not even you. Now sleep. You will be back to yourself in no time. Your Russian watchdog will keep the monsters away.”
She closed her eyes, the last of her strength evaporating, making her fall into dreamless oblivion.
***
A cool, icy cold sensation across her lips slowly pulled Deva out of her drowsiness. Moving was an exercise in pain as her muscles screamed in agony. What the hell happened? Monsters. Fragmented images of her past came flooding into her mind, and she recognized them as a recurring nightmare. It had been years since she had fallen into that abyss of despair. What pushed her over the edge?
“Deva? Open your eyes for me.” Aleksei’s voice was low and caressing, coaxing her to come back to reality. She blinked several times, before finally being able to focus on the man lying beside her in bed. Tangled in blankets, she freed her hands and pushed herself up into a sitting position as Aleksei rearranged her pillows.
When she tried to speak, her voice sounded like a dying crow, and could only murmur the word water. Aleksei twisted and gave her a glass filled with ice and a little water at the bottom. The few available gulps worked miracles. Her headache was gone, and her throat, although tight, wasn’t painful. Again, she turned her head to the man beside her.
“How long was I out?”
“Around thirty hours. You scared us all for a minute.”
“Thirty hours? What happened? One minute I was fine, the second I was... out.”
“Your cousin Sasha diagnosed a random bug spreading in the area. Nothing serious, but your body was too tired to fight it properly. She gave you medication and fluids, and you started feeling better.”
Sifting through her brain, Deva tried to recall when she had talked about Sasha to him. “How did you know about Sasha?”
“Your phone. In your bag, it kept ringing, and Lance finally found out about your cousin being in the area. The timing couldn’t be more perfect. When we tried to wake you up to eat, you wouldn’t wake up. Your fever was spiking, and you became delirious. As taking you to the hospital was out of the question, your doctor cousin was our best option.”
Nodding, Deva started remembering what happened before that. One by one, images of what happened popped into her mind. “Finch. Your father. Did you talk with your brother?
What’s the final verdict?”
Aleksei’s jaw clenched. “I believe him. The situation is a complete mess. And there is so much more still to be discussed.”
“What?”
“There are some situations that are impossible to get out of. I don’t think you can ever walk away from past decisions. The reason why I agreed to work with Finch was not to rekindle any kind of paternal relationship. I’ve been used all my life. And this situation is no different than the others. It’s all I’ve known all my life... but... I have the power to turn things around. The advantage of being a man, I suppose. And I was asked to investigate Finch. And getting close to him, playing his game was the only way to achieve this goal.”
Deva nodded, words caught in her throat. At least he was a man, he could gain that power.
Aleksei turned to her, a hand on her cold fingers. “You know that feeling of being a prisoner. Even if it’s all gone now.”
“I think you are the kind of man who can find a way to get free of your ghosts, to fight them. You have that possibility.”
“And you don’t.” He said it like a statement, and he was right. It was her reality.
“No, I don’t.”
“Is that why you tried to kill yourself?”
Deva blinked, surprised he knew about that. But she must have looked astounded when he answered. “In your delirium, you shouted to your cousin that you tried to pull the trigger of a gun against your head. Again. That meant you tried it before.”
Deva shook her head as she forced her mind back in time. “I had nothing to lose. I was about to be sold like cattle. There was no escape from that nightmare, and with Johnny gone, I had nothing to lose. Life wasn’t worth living if I was to become a slave. A pawn only good to fuck and breed.”
Aleksei raised his hand and touched her cheek with such tenderness, it made her lose her breath. “It’s alright, Aleksei, the gun didn’t work, and I found my way out. For ten years I had a great life.”