No.
On what planet could she ever expect him to choose her over ending a long-standing war between the families in his pack? Selfish much, Kate? Except she still couldn’t stand the thought of going back home. Of mating with Christian. And she couldn’t go to Kansas. Even if he promised to help with her grandfather, she didn’t know this Falcon. And she certainly didn’t know what she’d do for work. At least the Oklahoma plan had included a job, where she could sustain herself and contribute. But this…
“I didn’t think I would ever feel this way, Kate,” he continued, his voice breaking, and breaking her heart right along with it. “My destiny was to be single. To fix my pack. I wasn’t supposed to—”
“Want me?” Kate whispered under her breath.
He shook his head. “I’m so sorry. I just can’t do this right now. But if you give me five years—”
“Fine.” She took a couple steps backward, closed the back door of the truck and climbed into the front.
But it wasn’t fine. She couldn’t keep holding out for Ryan. He needed to fix his pack. She wasn’t the type of person who’d want to stand in the way of him saving lives and stopping wars. She’d rather leave. She needed to just…leave.
Chapter Twenty-One
Ryan pulled the truck back on the highway, trying to daydream his way out of his raging boner. Frankly, the fact that he’d tasted her at all was a mistake, and he knew it. But he couldn’t have helped it in that moment if he’d tried. It had been less about his desire, and more about wanting to just have his hands on her. Wanting to…claim her.
His tongue was the best he could do.
And he shouldn’t even have done that.
Watching her come had been pure torture. He’d longed to claim her—he still did, with every fiber of his being, but that was one thing he could not do. Not now.
No matter how much he wanted to.
She looked good in the simple yellow dress he’d chosen for her. He’d even gotten her panties and a bra, so she looked like a normal human being again, instead of like she’d just gotten drilled and left his house in the only clothes she could find. And she looked damn sexy in boots. Perfect. A rodeo cowboy’s dream.
His phone buzzed in the cup holder, and Ryan didn’t wait for Kate to pick it up this time. They were on the open road, and he’d taken the side highways to avoid the crush of Dallas-Fort Worth, so there were practically no cars.
“Did you take my truck?” came Dee’s voice, pretty sharply, through his phone.
“I did, I’m sorry. It was an emergency.”
“Yeah, no kidding.” She let out a heavy sigh. “Is Kate with you?”
“Who wants to know?”
“Me, jackass. And no one else.”
He shifted his gaze toward the passenger seat, but Kate had curled up like she was trying to sleep. He had no doubt she needed it, after everything that had happened that day.
“Yes, she’s with me.”
“Good. Julian is here. He’s worried about her, and that made me worry, too.”
Kate’s voice jolted him a little. “How is Julian?” Not asleep after all.
“He’s fine,” Dee said after Ryan repeated the question to her. “We just had lunch, and I noticed you weren’t here. Bracken said you were on the road somewhere and I put two and two together.”
“It was a split-second decision. I knew you had Will there, so I figured it would be the easiest to take your vehicle.”
“And when can I expect to get my truck back?” she asked, with a wry edge to her voice.
“We can’t come back to the VonBrandts’ house. Not now.” The sentence sounded ominous, like some kind of threat, but it was the hard truth. Kate’s grandfather would still be there, at least through the shift…
Holy shit.
Ryan glanced at the clock. It was just after noon. If he remembered the moon phases right, they would all start shifting uncontrollably in about five hours.
Shit. Shit. Shit.
Dee was saying something to him, but he couldn’t quite process it. He was too busy calculating the minimum safe distance to Durant. They would make it before the shift began, but then that would mean…Kate would be shifting with him, in his hometown. Like he was bringing his mate home for good.
God, could he do that to her? And then take her to Falcon?
But they didn’t have time to get all the way to Manhattan before the shift, and he hadn’t even called Falcon yet. His friend would take her on principle, but he needed some prep time. Shit. This wasn’t all as sewn up as he’d hoped.
He couldn’t take her home to his house. That was promising too much, and it would be too tempting to just fall into the fantasy in his head, where he and Kate would run through the prairie grass and make love under the moonlight, and then make love in his bed, back at his house, where she would be his.
No. Can’t go home.
“Does Jace still have that land out on the southern reach?” he asked, trying to think straight. “Or did he sell it already?”
“I think there might be a sale pending, but he still—”
“And that old dust bowl cabin’s still there? In that little gully?”
“I don’t know why it wouldn’t be.”
“Good. Tell your brother I’m gonna spend the shift there. But don’t tell him about Kate. Let’s try to keep that as quiet as we can.” He watched Kate pull her legs over toward the door and curl up. The dress fell away in the back, exposing more of her creamy thighs.
Dammit, she would try the patience of a saint.
If he were a saint, which he wasn’t.
“Why keep it quiet?”
“Because I think her family may send someone looking for her.” Ryan clenched his teeth, thinking of the way her grandfather had hurt her. It had been so merciless and premeditated. Thank the gods they were far away from him. But that still didn’t make Kate safe.
“Yeah, Julian said the scene with Christian was pretty gruesome.”
Ryan’s ears perked up, and he saw Kate’s back and shoulders tense. It was like her whole body went on alert, but she didn’t turn over. He held back his questions about this Christian. He’d have to text his cousin to get the full story.
“Well, if you can keep it quiet that she’s with me, I would appreciate it. I don’t want anyone knowing where we are.”
“I can do that,” she said, a promise in her voice. “Okay, I have to run. Tonya wants me to help her with something and I need to catch Will before they head back into town for supplies.”
“You know that Will is the enemy, as far as Kate is concerned,” Ryan said, lowering his voice. “You can’t tell him anything.”
“But Ryan—”
“Nope. He’s a Quade.”
“But he’s my mate, he’d never—”
“No, Dee. He’s bonded to that asshole alpha and I don’t want him or any other Quade to know anything about where Kate is right now, okay?”
She agreed and hung up. Ryan kept driving, shooting regular glances at Kate in the passenger seat. She seemed to have calmed down a little, and he was glad for that. If his mate needed anything right now, it was rest. Safety. Probably could do with another orgasm or two. He’d have to see about that when they got to Durant.
“The shift is in five hours,” he said out loud, putting the phone back into the cup holder.
“I know.” Kate’s voice was small and quiet, but at least she was talking.
“I’m going to take you to my cousin’s cabin in Durant.”
She turned over, her dress re-situating so there was no more thigh showing. How was it possible that he was disappointed by that? Look but don’t touch had always been his motto, but with Kate…he wanted to touch. Everywhere. Always.
“And you’re going to leave me there?”
“No. We’re going to shift together. I’m not letting you out of my sight until we figure everything out.” He shook his head, looking around at the dense trees that wouldn’t let him see too fa
r off the road. It was strange to be driving back home with his mate beside him.
“What is there to figure out?” she asked, gazing at him with tired eyes. “You’ve got your five-year plan.”
Ryan swallowed, pulling onto a new road with a little more traffic than the last one. It was only about three more hours to Durant. Then they would shift, and he could take Kate to bond to her new alpha.
“Falcon’s pack, up in Manhattan, Kansas, is small and pretty insular. Only about ten wolves. But he’s a strong alpha, and they’re a close family. I can take you up there after the shift.”
“Manhattan, Kansas?” she repeated, a touch of incredulity in her voice. “Is that far enough away from you?”
The words stung, but she was right. He could already feel the bond pulling at him. Even just having his face against her sex was working on him. “It doesn’t matter,” he said aloud, though he meant the words for himself. “If it’ll keep you safe, then that’s what we’ll do.”
“Fine.” She snuggled against the window and he almost reached for her. If she was going to snuggle somewhere, it should be against him. Into his side. His body.
But that would put her in unfortunate proximity of his still-half-mast boner. His dick would get the picture when she was farther away. When he couldn’t see her.
He kept trying to keep his eyes off the flesh of her legs. Upon further reflection, he wished he hadn’t gone the dress route. He’d assumed it would be easier for her to wear a dress—a single piece of clothing would be easier to remove when the shift came.
But the dress left too much of her skin exposed. And every last bit of her filled him with temptation.
“You’ll like Falcon,” he said. “He’s a good alpha. And there are a couple of girls your age in his pack. They’ll…” He trailed off, unsure of exactly what he meant to say. Distract you? Keep you company? Come on, Ryan.
“You can stop trying to convince me,” she said on a sigh, relaxing down into her crossed arms. “Whatever you want, Ryan.”
I want you, Kate. But he couldn’t say that out loud. It seemed to only make her more sad when he admitted that he wanted her. He did, though. More than he’d let himself believe until he felt her come on his tongue. Until he tasted her.
Now he couldn’t think about anything else.
“It’s only a couple more hours until Durant,” he said. “You should sleep if you’re still tired. We’ll stop in Durant and eat something before we go out to the cabin. I don’t want you to have to shift on an empty stomach.”
She curled up her legs and turned her body away from him. He’d been feeling the lack of her ever since he let go of her back in Tyler, and he didn’t like it.
At this rate, he just didn’t know if he’d be able to let Kate go.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Kate’s head clunked against the window and she started, sitting up straight in the big front seat. The seatbelt for sure had made a crease in her neck and there was probably drool on the side of her mouth. She wiped it really quickly with the back of her hand and turned to look at Ryan. Right. I’m running from my psychotic grandparents with a mate who wants me but won’t pick me and plans to dump me on some pal of his for five freaking years. Way to go, Kate.
“You okay?” Ryan’s voice was dark, but that darkness wasn’t aimed at her. No, for her there was only sweetness and caring. This whole I-can’t-have-you bullshit would have been easier if he were an asshole like Christian. What kind of guy agrees to marry a girl who obviously isn’t okay with the plan? An asshole. That’s what kind.
She’d thought Ryan was an asshole at first, but now… Now, she knew better. She knew that Ryan had worked his ass off to be the man his whole pack trusted. He’d earned their respect even after what his father had done. And his pack had voted him in as their next alpha. He had a plan to knit the pack back together—permanently, for the good of everyone—and she was sitting here feeling sorry for herself, wishing that he would drop them all like a bad habit and choose her instead. Selfish much?
“Yeah, I’m okay. Just forgot where I was for a second.”
“We’re in Durant, about ten miles out from the cabin. Thought you might be hungry.” He pointed to the diner they were parked beside. His gaze lingered on her bare thighs just long enough for Kate to notice. Then he looked away without a word.
She sucked up the sob forming in her chest. No, staying with him wasn’t an option. He needed her to be as far away as possible so he could do his thing and fix his pack. She knew in her heart he could do anything he set his mind to. A man who could deny the clawing, needy, overwhelming mate pull that threatened to undo her just about every time she looked at him—who could literally have his tongue inside her body and not claim her despite the crazy magick pulling at him—was capable of doing anything.
“Food sounds good, thanks,” she said, keeping her voice steady and even. She would not cry. She would not cry. She would not cry.
He was out of the truck and on her side before she could take another breath. Opening the door for her like a perfect gentleman. Dammit. He wasn’t making this easy.
“The cabin will be safe for the shift. Then I’ll bring you up to Manhattan or—”
“Can we not talk about me leaving right now?” she said, sliding down from the front seat to the ground. She smoothed the skirt of the yellow sundress and pasted a half smile onto her face. If he could be strong, then so could she.
His eyes scrunched and his mouth tightened at her request, but he nodded. “The food here is good. Blueberry muffins are the best.”
Food. Of course he’d be able to talk about food. What guy couldn’t? She nodded. “Sounds great. Who would ever turn down a blueberry muffin?”
He shut the car door behind her and gestured toward the front. The diner was old and metallic. It reminded her of a silver camper on the outside. No porch, just a single step leading to the door. Ryan still had yet to touch her even once. Not even a slip of his hand along her back.
It hurt from the inside. She needed…no craved…his touch. How was she ever going to make it through a shift with him without trying to get him to abandon his duty and pick her instead?
“You’re The One That I Want” was playing on the radio inside, taunting her and reminding her she would have to leave him. Have to give up on having a life with Ryan. She swung her gaze around the diner and gave a sad little halfway chuckle. The inside was retro and cute. Black and white floors. Silver trim everywhere. Bright red leather seats on the barstools and in the booths. Even the tables had stainless steel tops. It was like stepping onto the movie set for Grease.
She followed Ryan to an empty booth and sat on the bench opposite him. Their knees brushed just the slightest bit and she fought the urge to let her leg rest against his. It wasn’t fair to her or to him. He’d made his choice. The noble one. The unselfish one. And now she needed to do the same. No matter how hard it was. No matter how much her wolf hated her. She had to do the right thing. The noble thing.
“Hi, folks.” A pretty waitress popped by the table. She put down glasses of water and flashed them a wide smile. “Any tea or coffee?”
Kate shook her head. She’d do well to eat one of those damn muffins he’d mentioned. Her stomach was in the middle of World War III, rotating between the giddiness of being with Ryan and sickness at the thought of leaving him.
“Anything else for you, sir?” The waitress turned to Ryan expectantly.
“No, thank you. Could you bring out a couple of your blueberry muffins for us, please?”
“Of course. Be right back.”
“You’ll feel better after you eat,” Ryan said. He started to move his arm, like he was going to reach for her over the table, but he stopped himself. “It’s hard to run on an empty stomach. Unless you want to hunt.”
Kate made a face and shuddered. She loved her wolf and all, but she very much disliked hunting in animal form and waking up with blood on her face, in her mouth, and something questionable i
n her stomach. “I prefer not to hunt, so thanks for stopping here, but do we have enough time?”
Ryan nodded. “We have just about an hour. Plenty of time to eat a bit and then get out to my cousin’s place.”
“Can I borrow your phone? I want to let Gretchen know we made it.”
“You can’t tell her where you are. Not right now.” Ryan pulled his phone from his pocket and handed it to her.
“I know. I just don’t want her to worry. I won’t tell her exactly where we are.” Kate took the phone and slid out of the booth. “Will you order me a club sandwich, please? I need some protein.”
“Sure.”
Kate walked out of the diner and into the mid-afternoon sunlight. The moon was already starting to pull on her wolf. She could feel it stretching and pacing inside her. It knew the run was coming. She walked over to Dee’s big white truck and leaned against the side. Took a deep breath and closed her eyes. She could feel Ryan’s presence inside the diner. The pull was that strong.
She could leave right now. Shift and run. Find herself another pack. She could do that before her grandfather caught up to her…she hoped. It would be easier this way. Easier than having him hide her away somewhere, knowing he would never come back for her, even if he said five years. Five years of torture, and she still didn’t know if it would even save her from her grandfather. He was hell-bent on making her a brood mare in a loveless marriage back in El Paso.
He didn’t give up when he wanted something.
Suddenly, an arm came around her waist and another clamped over her mouth and she looked up to see a familiar face. Christian.
“Nmmmrrrr!” She tried to yell and the phone slipped out of her fingers, clattering to the ground. She tried to pull at his arms, but he was in complete control. They’d made him a shifter, and he was male—easily stronger than her. She kicked at the truck, hoping to bust a taillight. Maybe Ryan would hear that, but Christian pulled her away before her foot could do any damage.
Rodeo Wolf: Fated Mates of Somewhere, Texas (#2) Page 15