When he arrived at the set, he got out, not sure where to go from there. He saw Jesse Savoy standing beside one of the trailers, so taking Nicki’s hand, he walked over to him. It was a little strange to talk to someone you’d really only seen on television until the day before, but he could do it. “I’m looking for Amber Knight’s trailer.”
Jesse looked him up and down. “You John?”
John nodded, surprised the other man knew his name. “I am.”
“Don’t hurt her.” The words weren’t so much a threat as a command.
“I won’t.” John wanted to say more, but he was aware that little ears were listening. “Where can I find her?”
Jesse pointed. “Two trailers down.”
“Thanks.” John walked with Nicki toward the correct trailer, hoping the little girl wouldn’t ask about the exchange.
“Why does he think you’re going to hurt Amber?” she asked, not surprising him at all. His little girl was exceptionally bright, and though it was hard at times like this, he wouldn’t have her any other way.
He sighed. “When Amber and I dated in high school, things between us didn’t end well. We loved each other, and wanted to be together forever, but her parents didn’t like me. So we broke up, and we both ended up getting our hearts hurt.”
“That’s very sad,” Nicki said solemnly.
“It is. It was a hard time for both of us, and people don’t want to see that happen again.”
“Me neither. If you hurt her, she won’t be my new mama.” Nicki definitely knew what she wanted.
“No, she won’t. I’ll do my best to make sure neither of us get hurt, okay?”
Nicki nodded. “Here it is!”
John took a deep breath and knocked. When the door was opened, he stared up at her. She looked just as she had five years before. It was as if all the years between had slipped away. Yesterday she had been wearing dress clothes, and seemed much too adult to him. This Amber—this was the girl he remembered. She wore shorts and a tank top, and her hair was in a French braid down the middle of her back. This was the girl he loved.
“Hi, you,” he said quietly, his heart in his throat.
“Hi.” She stared at him for a moment, her eyes connecting with his. She locked the doorknob before she closed the door. “Hi, Nicki.”
“Hi, Amber. My daddy promised that man over there that he wouldn’t hurt you so you can be my new mama.”
John felt his face turn red. He hadn’t blushed in years, and here he was, blushing again just because Amber was there. What was it about her?
“He did? Jesse made you promise not to hurt me?”
John nodded, still embarrassed. “Yeah. He seems to care about you a lot.”
“He does. He and Bob are the big brothers I never had. They both make sure that I’m taken care of.”
“I think that’s great.”
“I do too,” she said. “What’s this about me being Nicki’s new mama?”
He sighed. “Nicki has decided you’re going to be her new mother. She doesn’t remember her first mama, and she has always stared at our prom picture in my bedroom, saying that was who she wanted to be her mama.”
Amber smiled at that. “Why is our prom picture up in your bedroom? I didn’t even know you’d purchased our prom pictures.” She liked the idea of him having one as a memento, though. She liked the idea of him keeping any of their memories close, because she’d felt forgotten by him for a long time.
He shrugged. “Of course I did. I always figured we’d get back together. And that was the last night we were happy.”
“You thought we’d get back together?” she asked, surprised.
He nodded. “I knew I couldn’t spend the rest of my life without you.”
She felt tears prick her eyes at his words. “I’m not sure what to say to that.”
“You don’t have to say anything. Just know that I still care about you and always have. I always will. Being with you is as important to me as air. I can’t believe I survived for so long without you beside me.”
Nicki hurried ahead and stood beside a red truck, waiting for him to open the door. He turned to Amber for a moment, while they were out of his daughter’s hearing. “I want you to know that I mean what I say. I’m not trying to make you do anything you don’t want to do. I’m not lying to you. I still love you, Amber, and I want you to be a part of my life.”
“So Nicki can have a mother?” Amber had to ask. She knew it was probably insensitive, but she needed to know if that was his goal. She just hoped he wouldn’t lie to her.
“I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want you to be Nicki’s new mother, but that’s not all I want. If I just wanted a mother for her, do you think I’d be pursuing a popular actress? Or find a girl in Jupiter whose biggest goal in life is to get married and have babies? There are plenty of them around, and it wouldn’t be hard to marry one.”
Amber thought about that for a moment, her eyes meeting his green ones. “She chose me, though.”
“Yeah, she did. But she chose you, because she knew you were the one I wanted. Keep that in mind, please.”
He led her to the truck and opened the back door so Nicki could scramble in, before opening Amber’s door. “Don’t forget to buckle up, Nicki.”
“I won't, Daddy. I’m only safe when I’m buckled.”
“That’s right.”
“You buckle too, Amber. We want you to be safe!” Nicki called.
Amber reached for her shoulder belt and pulled it over, snapping it into place. “I’m safe now, Nicki.”
John shut the door of the truck and walked around, getting in beside Amber. He started the truck and then reached for her hand. “It feels like old times.”
She laughed. “We never had a child with us during the old times.”
“No, we didn’t. Does it bother you?”
“How could that beautiful little girl bother me?” she asked. “She’s a part of you.” And I love her because I can’t stop loving you.
As he drove he kept glancing over at her, as if he was afraid she’d disappear. Nicki talked on and on about something she’d seen that week on television while she stayed with her grandmother.
“Do you like being with your grandma all day?” Amber asked.
“Yeah, she’s really nice. I’d rather have a mama, but I don’t get to decide when my daddy will get me a mama. I just get to help decide which mama, and I want you.”
“That’s really sweet of you.”
“No, it’s smart. Daddy loves you, so you need to be the one to make us a whole family.”
Amber didn’t know what to say to that, so she stayed quiet.
John pulled into his driveway and got out of the truck. “Nicki can ride, but she can’t keep up on rough terrain, so she’s going to ride with me. Do you mind taking the picnic basket?”
Amber shook her head, getting down out of the truck and following him to the stable. “I get to ride for work a lot, but it’s not the same as riding with you.” She hadn’t meant for the words to slip out. What was it about him that had her feeling like she was living in the past?
“I hope not. You haven’t had a love interest on the show yet, so you haven’t ridden with someone special to you.”
Amber’s mother had hated horses, and she’d always been against Amber going out on rides with John. Amber had ignored her worries and done what she wanted to do, which had been her response to everything where her mother was concerned.
He led her into the stable and saddled two horses, tying the basket behind her saddle. He adjusted her stirrups as best he could until she swung up into the saddle, and then he fit them to her. “I always forget how short you are!”
She made a face. “I’m not short. I’m just not a giant like you are.”
He wrinkled his nose as he hoisted Nicki up in front of the saddle, before mounting behind her. “Let’s go down by the river.”
Amber nodded and led the way. She had been to the river so many t
imes in the past, it was instinctive which way to go, even though she’d never been on this particular property. She couldn’t believe how happy it made her to ride with John and Nicki. It was like going back in time.
She found a good flat spot not far from the river and dismounted, untying the picnic basket.
She walked over and held her hands up for Nicki, helping her down. “Want to help me with the picnic?” she asked.
The little girl nodded. John got down and untied the quilt he’d brought for them to eat on and handed it to Amber.
As he watched, Amber and Nicki spread the quilt out, and unpacked the picnic supper. They chatted happily, and John realized that Nicki didn’t just want a mother. She needed one. The rapport she already had with Amber amazed him.
Once the picnic was ready, he joined them on the quilt. “When are you going to marry my daddy?” Nicki asked.
Amber smiled. “Well, I can’t marry a man who hasn’t asked me, can I?”
Nicki shrugged. “I asked you for both of us.”
“It doesn’t work that way.”
Nicki scrunched up her face. “I don’t know why not!”
“Because a man has to have a ring, and he has to get down on one knee. Then he has to declare his undying love for his lady, promising to never make her cry. And only then can he ask her to marry him. If he asks nicely enough, then she can say yes.”
Nicki nodded. “Okay.” She looked at her father. “Well?”
“Well what?” John asked, after swallowing his mouthful of fried chicken.
“Well, when are you going to get down on one knee?”
“I’m supposed to do it at a time that would surprise her. Not now!”
“It would surprise her now, because you just said you couldn’t do it now,” Nicki argued.
Amber put her hand over her mouth to stifle her laugh, loving that Nicki was putting him on the spot and making him so uncomfortable.
John looked between their faces, Amber’s amused and Nicki’s confused. Finally, he decided to just go with it. He got onto one knee and took Amber’s hand in his, bringing it to his lips. “Amber, I’ve loved you since I was eight years old. You were the first girl I ever kissed and the only girl I’ve ever loved. I promise I will never make you cry if you will marry me and be Nicki’s new mama.”
Amber looked at him, thinking of what her friends had told her at lunch. She looked over at Nicki who seemed to be more excited than a child should be.
Finally, Amber nodded. “Yes, I’ll marry you.”
Chapter 5
John gaped at Amber, his jaw dropped. “Really? You’ll marry me?” He’d never expected her to say yes. He’d wanted her to, of course, but in his wildest dreams the answer was always no.
Amber nodded. “I will.” She almost laughed at the dumbfounded look on his face, but decided that would be rude.
“But—I don’t even have a ring. I was sure you’d say no!”
“Did you want me to say no?” she asked, getting confused, even while Nicki had thrown herself into Amber’s arms. “I can change my answer.”
Nicki shook her head emphatically. “You can’t change your answer! You said yes!”
Amber smiled at the girl in her arms. “I can’t marry your daddy if he doesn’t want me to. If he asked the question without meaning to, then I’ll have to change my answer.” She kissed Nicki’s forehead affectionately while she waited for John to respond.
“But why?” he finally asked.
Amber blinked a few times, not sure how to answer that. Why would she marry him? She’d been in love with him for years! “Nicki needs a mother, and she chose me. I won’t have to deal with men throwing themselves at me once news gets around that I’m married. It just makes sense.” She kept her voice cautious, afraid he’d tell her he’d been joking when he asked.
John’s face became shuttered as he nodded. “All right. Let’s plan a wedding.”
“I figured we’d just elope. You don’t really want a real wedding, do you?” Amber didn’t know why she hated the idea of a wedding so much, but she did. He said he loved her, but he’d made it clear he was doing all this for Nicki, so why would they go through the motions of a real wedding?
“I’d rather do a real wedding. We can do it quick if you want. Maybe two weeks from now? On Saturday?”
Amber nodded slowly. It seemed that was forever away, but she’d already loved him for more than ten years. What was thirteen more days? “That could work. If we did it next weekend, I’d have the week following the wedding off work, though.”
He thought about that for a moment, liking the idea of a honeymoon, no matter if they were able to go somewhere or had to stay home for it. “Yeah, let’s do that. Maybe my mom can keep Nicki for the week.”
“Maybe she can keep her for a night or two, and then she can come home. I want to spend that week getting to know her better. I can’t wait to have a daughter!” Amber smiled at the little girl in her arms. “Do you want to be my flower girl? If we’re doing a wedding, I want two attendants. Valerie and May need to be there with me.”
Nicki nodded emphatically. “I want to be the flower girl! I can walk down the aisle throwing flowers at everyone!”
Amber made a mental note to be sure the girl only had flower petals in her basket so no one would be injured. “Are you okay with two attendants?” she asked John.
He nodded. “That should be fine.”
“If you don’t have anyone you want to ask, Bob and Jesse would do it. Along with Valerie, they’ve been my family for the last four years.”
“I might ask them. Would your attendants feel more comfortable with their husbands at the front with them?”
“I think Valerie would be okay either way, because she’s an actress and used to being in front of people. May is a romance writer, and she has a harder time being in front of crowds.”
“Then I’ll make sure I ask Bob to be one of my attendants, and I will decide later if I want Jesse or someone else.” He had mixed feelings about Jesse after the way the other man had tried to interfere earlier. Of course he was glad someone had been watching out for Amber during the time he’d been out of her life.
Nicki got off Amber’s lap. “I’m going to walk down to the river. I want to throw rocks in.”
“Stay where you can see me and don’t get too close. Okay?” John asked, knowing that she was fascinated by the water.
“Okay.” Nicki hurried off, leaving the couple totally alone.
John looked at Amber. “I won’t be able to stand it if I lose you again. Are you sure?” His eyes were intense.
Amber nodded. “I’m sure. I’ve thought about you a lot over the years.”
“What made you change your mind since dinner last night? You seemed afraid of being around me then.”
She shrugged. “I’m not sure,” she lied. “I just decided I wouldn’t be hurt again.” She couldn’t give him the kind of power he’d had over her years ago. Keeping him from knowing how much she cared would be the only way she could keep her sanity…and her heart intact.
He glanced down at the river, seeing that Nicki was playing on the bank as promised. She was usually good about not getting too close to the water when he reminded her beforehand, but he had to be sure she was safe.
He caught Amber’s hand and pulled her toward him on the blanket. “I need something to sustain me until Saturday. What if we can’t get the church for the wedding?”
She shrugged. “Let’s just marry in your yard. It won’t hurt anything, and we’ll be just as married.” She frowned. “Are you going to invite your parents?”
He nodded. “Of course I’m going to invite my parents. I wouldn’t have made it through the past few years without them!”
She sighed. “If you’re inviting your parents, then I have to invite my parents. I left the week after Brian died, and I haven’t seen them since.” Already she was dreading seeing them again.
His eyes widened. “I’d heard you were estrang
ed, but I didn’t know it was that bad.”
“I can handle it. My mother called this afternoon, because she’d already heard we went to dinner together last night. She wants me to move back to Jupiter, so I can live under her thumb again.”
He cupped her cheek with his hand, stroking her lips with his thumb. “My business is in Jupiter. If you marry me, that’s where we’ll have to live.”
She closed her eyes for a moment. “I know it is. I just don’t necessarily think it’s what I want.”
“Are you changing your mind?”
She shook her head. “Not about marrying you. I just need to come to peace with living so close to my parents. I won’t let them be rude to Nicki.”
He sighed. “They won’t get time with her. Not if I can help it.”
She moved closer to him, wishing she still believed he could protect her from the venom that her mother had always spewed toward her. “I miss the days when I thought we could avoid them forever.”
He slowly brushed a kiss across her lips. “We can’t avoid them. We both know that now. But we can stay strong and not let them hurt us.” He glanced over her shoulder and saw that Nicki was still keeping her distance from the water as she threw more rocks into the river. “Are you going to wear a white dress?”
She shrugged. “Only if you want me to, and then I’ll do everything I can to make it happen. May found one with only a three-day engagement. I could find one in six. I think.”
“Try. If you can’t, it won’t be too terrible, but try.”
Her eyes grew wide. “Wait! The dress Valerie wore for Jo’s wedding to Dylan in the show is still in wardrobe, and we’re the same size. I could wear that, if it wouldn’t bother you that I wore a show prop.”
He grinned, shaking his head. “Not at all. You were beautiful in your bridesmaid dress on that episode.”
“Thank you.” Amber shook her head. “It’s strange that you’ve been able to watch me all these years, and kind of keep track of what I’m doing through the tabloids, but I knew nothing about you.”
Lying Love (Lazy Love Book 3) Page 5