by Layla Nash
Shit and double shit. Saints keep us.
I shoved the grimoire, a bag of salt, and a mirror into my large shoulder bag, then put the rest of the bag in the closet. At least Soren’s ostentatious mansion had walk-in closets in every room, because that left plenty of room for me to walk a circle around the bag and cast a very small look-away spell. The Externals wouldn’t be able to tell the bag and its dirty contents were right under their noses.
I shouldered the bag and headed for the door.
More sirens wailed. It was definitely time for me to go.
Chapter 39
I made my way through the halls, head down, and focused on getting to the first floor and a back window. A simple spell would conceal me once I got outside; I didn’t dare cast inside Soren’s house in the middle of an emergency.
As much as I wanted Moriah or Leif to go with me, I couldn’t risk them. A coven of powerful witches couldn’t stop the demon at Tracy’s house, and even if I was there to face it, Moriah and Leif could be torn apart before they even had the chance to shift. And if either of them suspected I was heading into the night on other business, they’d insist on going with me.
But this was witch business. It was my business. I might have done my fair share for the Alliance in my lifetime, but I hadn’t done enough for Andre, or Rosa, or Joanne. They deserved more.
I ducked around a corner and ran into someone, muttering, “Sorry,” under my breath as I redirected and hoped they didn’t recognize me.
But a familiar voice said, “Lily?”
I blinked. “Amber? What are you doing here?”
My former neighbor, looking far healthier and happier than I could remember seeing her, hugged herself and offered a tentative smile. “They’re letting me stay here for a while. It’s very kind of Soren to offer to—”
“He’s not usually kind,” I said, reaching out to squeeze her hand. “So be careful of debts. I know you’re not a witch or a shifter, but the Peacemaker rarely does anything without a couple of reasons.”
She smiled more, and I forgot some of the chaos around us. Thank the saints we got her away from Chompers. My head tilted as I studied her, sorting through the glamour around her, and Amber went still, her eyes wide. “You can see it, can’t you?”
“The glamour?” I squinted. “A little bit. It’s better than the last one.”
“You knew?”
The sirens abruptly cut off, and my ears rang in the sudden silence. That was either a good sign, or a really, really bad one. I didn’t want to be around for either. “I’m sorry, Amber, I can’t stick around. It’s good to see you.”
But she followed as I waded back into the busy halls, sticking close to my side. “Please don’t tell anyone. Not until I get my operation.”
“Tell them what? That you use a glamour? I don’t think anyone will care, but—”
“That I was born male,” she whispered.
I stopped dead in my tracks, facing her despite the Styrma running back and forth and huge cases of ammunition and flares rumbling over the marble floors. “What?”
“I was born male,” she repeated, flushing, and gulped for air. “Please don’t tell anyone. That’s the only reason I stayed with Kurt, because he cast the glamour so I could look like a girl. I can’t afford the insurance for the medical operation or the magical one, so I thought... I thought it was worth it.”
Her eyes went glassy with tears and she looked away, flicking the moisture off her cheeks.
“Damn, girl.” I hugged her, taking a deep breath. That explained a lot. And it pissed me off even more, that Chompers exploited her so cruelly and no doubt beat down her self-esteem into nothingness. I straightened and locked eyes with her. “I’m sorry. I should have dragged you out of there sooner. I’ll help however I can.”
“Thank you,” she said, and it looked as if a burden lifted off her shoulders. “Do you know where Rosa is? I wanted to thank her for throwing him down the stairs.”
And just like that, reality crashed back around me like a punch to the gut.
She saw it in my face, slowly covering her mouth before I even said a word.
I stopped giving a shit about Soren’s rules, and drew enough magic that it numbed away the pain. Just that one time, just to take the edge off. It was too soon, after what I saw at Tracy’s house. I could deal with it later, after all of this was over with.
I’d said the same thing during the war, as Moriah would no doubt remind me, and “later” never came.
“She died,” I said, forcing the words out and hoping I sounded almost normal. “Killed by a demon.”
Amber swayed and put a hand out to steady herself on the wall. “A d-demon?”
“Yeah.” I looked around, noting new flashing lights—blue and silver, special indicators for active magic on the premises. “Their pyre will be in a few days, maybe. Soren will tell you. You can go, to show…show your respects. If you want.”
For some reason, the sympathy in her eyes nearly unnerved me. For a human who had suffered a great deal at the hands of a witch to feel so deeply over Rosa’s death... It was too much, even through the magic. I cleared my throat. “And I still have to go, so—”
I turned away as my vision blurred and I dragged more magic to me in a slow build to cover it over. I got about three feet before I knocked into someone, and Leif grabbed my arms. “There you are.”
He cursed and dropped them immediately, shaking his hands to dispel whatever charge from the magic hit him, and frowned at me as he held up a radio. “Got her. Get the trucks ready to move.”
“I beg your pardon?” I raised my eyebrows, then pointed at the hall behind him. “I’m going that way, and I’m getting the hell out of here before whatever is going on out front becomes my problem. I’ll be in touch when I know more about the demons.”
“Nope.” Leif nodded to Amber but tried to take my arm again. “We’re getting you out of here. The Externals broke through the gates and are trying to enter the house—they said something about Soren harboring dark witches, and that certainly sounds like you.”
“Stefan,” I said, sighing. “Just like he said.”
“You pissed him off at Tracy’s. Made him look foolish. So now we pay for it.” The radio squawked and Leif muttered something into it.
I frowned, not wanting to take a ride with any of his people. I’d never get to the Skein in time. “I would have just killed him. It was your stupid laws that left him alive to make trouble, so this is firmly on your doorstep, bucko.”
The Chief Investigator was not amused. “Let’s go, witch. I’ll arrest you if I have to.”
“Amber comes with us,” I said, reaching for her, and the other woman cleared her throat. “What?”
“She needs to get out of here too.” I hefted my bag and dragged her along with me as I started walking. “The Externals might accuse Soren of keeping humans hostage in his evil den. Can’t have that.”
Leif hustled us along. “Fine. But Amber, not a word to anyone about what you hear, okay?”
She nodded and mimed zipping her lips with shaking fingers. I felt a little bad that she got caught up in any of it, even briefly, but I wouldn’t put it past Stefan—or even Eric—to use her as a pawn if they found her in Soren’s house. And I wanted a friend along for the ride, too.
With Leif behind us, the crowds parted and the halls cleared to get out of his way. We ended up in some kind of a sub-basement under the house, away from the prison cells, and I wondered what happened with Brandr. Maybe he languished in the cells, waiting for his memory to come back. An armored sedan with darkly tinted windows idled near the ramp, and a grim Nate waited by the driver’s side, while a shifter I didn’t know stood at the passenger side, heavily armed.
I glanced at Leif. “You can just give us a car and I’ll drive, I can take—”
“You’re still weak from earlier today,” he said, shaking his head. The set of his mouth and the twitching muscle in his jaw left very little room to arg
ue. Maybe that was where being his kjaereste turned from adorable to irritating as hell.
“Nothing is going to—”
“Lilith,” he said, and the old name chilled my blood. His eyes shone gold, the wolf barely controlled, and he caught my shoulders so I had to face him. “By the Varg Himself, go to the pack-houses south of the city. We can defend them, and if we need to evacuate to Sanctuary, we own the airspace out there.”
I couldn’t breathe, staring at his face until my vision blurred again. “You can’t mean... The Truce is over? It’s broken? Are we at war?”
“No one knows,” he said. He didn’t look away even as Amber started praying. Leif’s lips thinned as he watched me, and my heart nearly choked me as all the terrible possibilities battered against me like stormy waves.
Impossible.
We couldn’t be back at war. We couldn’t. Everything we’d worked for, everything we’d built... gone in a blink. More deaths. Losing friends and family and everyone. Mimi would never get her big wedding, and Moriah wouldn’t survive this time. I wouldn’t be that lucky.
My breath came faster as even the magic couldn’t deaden the panic. And Tracy was still missing. The whole War Coven, maybe gone right on the eve of disaster. Maybe it was a bigger plan. Maybe the Externals managed to trap them, or worked with some other faction other than the wolves, elevating that shifter power struggle into a fucking catastrophe for all Others.
I shook my head, trying to back out of his grip. “It can’t be. Not again. Not again. I can’t do that again.”
Leif grabbed my face and his lips crushed to mine. A shock raced through me, deeper even than the magic, and I closed my eyes.
He broke away, his own breathing a little ragged, but he rested his forehead against mine as he whispered, “We don’t know what’s going on. We can’t risk losing you, Lilith. You’re the last war witch we have right now.”
Of course. Cold water drenched me and washed away whatever shock I’d struggled under. They had to protect the fucking war witch, so they stood a chance of surviving the next war.
I tried to pull away, and Leif growled, his fingers working into my hair. “And I will lose my mind if I don’t know that you’re safe, do you hear me? I have battles to fight and I can’t afford to worry about whether you’re in danger. Lilith, please.”
I met his gaze, still not believing him. It could have been a ruse to keep me on their side, to keep me hidden away as Soren consolidated power and got rid of his enemies.
Another thought struck me and my stomach dropped to my feet. Maybe Soren had known about the Ancient and Anne Marie’s unsanctioned magic, and feared she helped some of his opponents. Maybe they set the witches up to get rid of the threat, and Leif was just there to string me along until they broke me down and I gave in and joined the Alliance.
I couldn’t breathe. All the pieces fit. Everything.
Leif’s thumbs stroked my cheeks. “Please. Go with Nate and Scotty. They’ll get you to the pack-house safely, and as soon as I know what’s going on, I’ll give you an update.”
I couldn’t formulate a single thought that didn’t spark another betrayal. So I nodded, woodenly, and let him guide me into the back seat of the car. Amber jumped in the other side, holding my hand on the leather seat, and Leif closed the door gently next to me.
And then proceeded to growl a riot act to his guys on the seven levels of hell they would experience if anything happened to me.
It might have made me feel better, even an hour earlier, to hear that kind of protective fury from the Warder. The War-dog. The Ghosthound himself. But every word rang hollow as I tried to reason through the rice pudding in my head. Someone betrayed the witches, and someone betrayed me. I just didn’t know who was who anymore.
Chapter 40
Nate and Scotty got in the car and shut their doors, locking everything and checking the windows, then started driving up a long ramp. It felt like we spent forever in the darkness, with only eerie emergency lights to show the way. My heart pounded against my ribs and the magic wisped away as my control frayed.
I couldn’t fight another ten years. I didn’t have it in me anymore. I barely survived the first time.
Amber’s hand tightened on mine. “He can’t be serious, right? The Truce will hold. There can’t be another war.”
“The Externals attacked the Alliance,” I said, and each word sounded foreign as I forced it out. Like this was just a nightmare and I could wake myself up if I tried hard enough. “If the Judge approved the raid... That could be the end of it.”
Nate shook his head as he drove, guiding the car off of the ramp and into the night. We popped up somewhere well away from the house and onto a normal road. I looked back and could only see a faint glow from the flashing lights around the mansion. “It has to be a misunderstanding. Soren will figure it all out, and Leif will enforce it. We’ll be fine.”
“That’s what they said after the Breaking,” I said. Numbness, maybe shock, settled around my heart. “And they said it every day as it got worse. It can’t get worse. It won’t get worse. We’ll be fine. Don’t worry. It won’t get that bad. That’s how we ended up with attempted genocide and ten years of war.”
“I don’t need a history lecture,” he said, muscles tense in his shoulders and neck. “I was there for it, too.”
“People forget,” I said. The hair curled at the back of his neck, like a little boy who hadn’t gone to the barber in too long. I remembered him being very young in the war, and carrying a chip on his shoulder because of it. “Grow complacent.”
“Not like you, right, Lily?”
I wondered where his anger came from, whether I was the cause of it. I’d hexed him, sure, but there wasn’t any permanent damage. He still deserved the truth. “No. I’m worse than all of them. I forgot to be afraid.”
Scotty, the guard, cleared his throat. “If it is war, then we fight. And when we can’t fight, we find the young ones who can. We survived before, we will survive again.”
The silence stretched until Amber whispered, “There’s always Canada.”
Nate snorted, and I caught a glimpse of a smile in the rearview mirror. “Right. There’s always Canada.”
We drove through the city, cruising slowly to avoid some of the patrol cars haunting the twisting streets. I touched the window as I imagined what life would be like in the middle of another war, alone. The last war witch. It sounded like a bad movie.
“I need to stop at the Skein,” I said, not thinking. Eric might know something. She could fill me in on the raid. I could start putting together the pieces, maybe find the rest of the War Coven so I wouldn’t be alone.
It was my second chance, maybe. As awful as it would be, I would have my coven back.
The thoughts burst through my head too quickly to catch, a staccato barrage that overwhelmed everything else. Betrayals and possibilities and dread and despair so deep I wanted to sink into a hole...
My dad’s voice drifted through my thoughts, reminding me of his smile, and he quoted Napoleon for the millionth time. Nothing is lost as long as courage remains.
“I need to go to the Skein.” I repeated it, because the wolves acted like they couldn’t hear me.
Scotty didn’t turn. “We have orders to take you to the pack-house south of the city. No detours.”
“I can’t go there yet. I have to get to the Skein before midnight. It’s important.”
Nate snorted. “We’re on the verge of war and you want to go to the memorial for the last one?”
“This might prevent the next war,” I said, leaning forward to slap the console between their seats. “Hati curse you, we have to stop.”
I checked my watch. I could still make it. Eric would be there, and we could figure everything out. I just needed to get out of the car.
“Bring it up with Leif,” Nate said. “At the pack-house.”
Stubborn wolves. No wonder the rest of the shifters rebelled. The wolf way was the only way.
/> Not tonight.
I squeezed Amber’s hand to warn her, and she took a deep breath. She’d had too much trouble at a witch’s hands. I hoped she could forgive me for putting her through more.
I grabbed the door handle and sent a thread of magic through the frame, hoping the metal didn’t warp too much when I killed the engine.
And nothing happened except a bunch of lights flashed on the dashboard.
Nate shook his head. “We’re not amateurs, Lilith. The car has cold iron in the frame.”
Saints damn them.
Scotty picked up his radio, clicked it a few times, and Leif’s voice reached me through the static. “What?”
“The witch wants to stop at the Skein,” he said. “Tried to juice the car.”
“Go to the pack-house.” He growled, even through the radio, and his voice hardened. “Lilith Lucy Lavender, just go to the pack-house.”
“Those aren’t my names,” I said, irritated that he thought I’d be called Lavender. Ridiculous.
Scotty’s eyebrows rose as he glanced at me, and I scowled at the back of Nate’s seat. I probably shouldn’t have told him Lilith wasn’t really my name. I pinched the bridge of my nose.
Something crackled and then exploded in the background as Leif said something else, but his words were lost in the chaos. Scotty waited for a reply, but nothing came back over. He put the radio down. “We’re going to the pack-house.”
“I’m sorry.” I really was. Poor Nate would hate me forever. I fished the pepper spray from inside my bag, shrugged at Amber, and sprayed both of the men.
A noxious cloud of foam and peppers and other magical shit from the special formula filled the car, and Nate slammed on the brakes. “You’re fucking kidding me.”
He reached into the back seat, trying to grab me, but I wormed out of the way and yanked on the door handle as we all coughed and spluttered. Next time I definitely needed to ward myself before doing something like that.
As I struggled to stay free of Nate, Amber leaned forward and managed to hit the locks on Scotty’s side, and the soft click echoed in my ears. Freedom. I kicked my door open and bolted, running as fast as I could through the dark streets as doors slammed behind me and at least one of them turned into a wolf.