by Gina Wilkins
He leaned a forearm against the top of her small car. “No, I don’t think so. I’d like to hang around here a few more days. I haven’t had any time off in a while.”
“You’ll want to see Kenny, of course. I’m sure Leslie will welcome you, though you can’t blame her for being a bit wary at first. I’ll talk to her for you, if you like. Explain to her that you want to get on a more friendly footing with her.”
“Thank you, but that won’t be necessary. I’ll talk to Leslie myself.”
“That would probably be best.” Her hand on her door handle, she cleared her throat. “Dinner was lovely, Steve. Thank you.”
“I thank you for giving me the pleasure of your company this evening.”
His old-fashioned courtliness appealed to her...as did so much about this man. “Well...good night.”
“I was able to nab two tickets for the basketball game tomorrow night. Will you go with me?”
Her fingers clenched spasmodically on the car handle. “Um...”
The vapor lights overhead illuminated Steve’s enticing smile. “I hope you have no other plans. I’ll be terribly disappointed if you do.”
“Steve, I—”
He reached out to touch her cheek with a disarmingly gentle fingertip. “Nina,” he said, imitating her tone. “Why do you look so nervous? I’m only asking you for a date.”
A date. She moaned. Now she was nervous. Surely he didn’t mean...
“A second date, I should have said,” he corrected himself. “Counting tonight.”
“Oh, but tonight wasn’t a date,” she protested automatically.
His eyebrow quirked. “No? What do you call it when a man and a woman who like each other and are attracted to each other spend time together to get to know each other better? We call it a date where I’m from, but maybe you have another term for it here.”
He was teasing her—but beneath the humor he was quite serious, she realized. He considered the dinner they’d just shared a date. And...oh, heavens, had he just said he was attracted to her?
“Steve, I—”
He leaned over to feather his lips over hers. “Say yes,” he murmured.
“Yes,” she repeated blankly, and since she suddenly couldn’t remember the question, she hoped she hadn’t just agreed to anything illegal or immoral.
“It’s a date, then.”
Again, there was that touch of smugness she found both annoying and somehow intriguing.
“Would you like for me to follow you home? Just to make sure you get there safely?”
“Thank you, but that won’t be necessary.”
“All right. I’ll see you tomorrow, then. I’ll call the shop in the morning to arrange a time, okay?”
“Yes, that will be fine.” Her response was mechanical.
He saw her into her car, and waited until she’d buckled in and started the engine, before turning to lope toward his vehicle.
Nina sat for several long moments, making no effort to drive away, her fingertips brushing her still-tingling lips. And then she realized that Steve was also sitting in his car, watching her, apparently waiting for her to leave before he himself pulled out.
Abruptly, she shoved the gearshift into Drive and pressed the accelerator. She suddenly had a great need to be alone in her apartment, where she could spend some quiet, private time trying to decide exactly what had happened this evening.
Leslie hated feeling guilty. Her parents had always conveyed to her that guilt and regrets were a waste of time, apologies a waste of breath. “What’s done is done,” her father had often said. “Get over it.”
It was how he’d lived his entire adult life. And he’d hurt a lot of people along the way, she thought morosely. Without ever even acknowledging the pain he’d caused.
Whatever her father’s philosophy, she knew she owed Tom an apology. The things she’d said to him had been cruel... even if there was truth in them.
Of course, he had owed her an apology, as well, she thought with a momentary return of the irritation that had spurred her to utter those unkind words. He shouldn’t have snapped at her earlier just because she’d seen him at a moment of weakness. She’d offered assistance, not pity. If he didn’t know the difference, then he didn’t understand her at all.
And then her annoyance faded again as guilt crept back in. She really shouldn’t have said what she had. Tom had suffered. It had been obvious to her ever since she’d first arrived back in town. He had loved his job, and he’d lost it. Of course, she’d lost her job, too—but it had been her choice to take that chance by placing Kenny’s interests first, she reminded herself. Tom’s choices had been taken away from him.
He’d said very plainly that he didn’t want pity. And then he’d gotten mad at her because she hadn’t shown him enough. Just what did he want from her, anyway?
Her emotions ping-ponging between self-censure and indignation with him, she sighed deeply and went in search of Tom after putting Kenny to bed. Tom had been very careful to avoid her since dinner, spending time first in his bedroom, then his workout room, and then lingering a long time in the shower. She’d known that he was looking for excuses to stay away from her.
She’d heard the phone ring a few times, but each time Tom had answered in another part of the house. Since he never summoned her to the phone, she assumed all the calls were for him. She couldn’t help wondering if any of the calls were from women, though she chided herself for thinking like a jealous wife again.
Leslie had spent the evening cleaning the kitchen, playing with the baby, doing a couple of loads of laundry and berating herself for her behavior. Now it was time to confront Tom and get back on somewhat more comfortable footing with him. They certainly couldn’t go on living in the same house without speaking to each other.
She tapped on his bedroom door. “Tom?”
His voice was muffled by the wood between them. “What?”
“Could I talk to you for a minute?”
She thought she heard a sigh. And then footsteps. A moment later, the door opened.
He was wearing a white cotton T-shirt and gray fleece pants. His feet were bare, his dark-blond hair still damp from the shower. There was no expression in his shuttered green eyes.
Fighting down her automatic rush of attraction to him, she managed to keep her voice steady. “I want to apologize for the things I said earlier,” she told him. “I was out of line.”
Partially, she wanted to add, but didn’t because she knew that was no way to settle a quarrel.
“Apology accepted,” he said flatly. “Good night.”
He started to close the door. She caught it with one hand, her temper kicking in again.
“Just what is with you, anyway?” she demanded. “Do you want me to leave? Is that it? Do you want to forget I ever came back to Fayetteville?”
“No.”
“You’re obviously sorry you married me. It was another of your impulsive gestures, wasn’t it? And now you regret it.”
“No,” he repeated more firmly. “I knew what I was doing.”
“What? Sacrificing yourself to help poor little me?” She couldn’t keep the bitterness out of her voice, didn’t even try. “Well, thanks, but no, thanks. I don’t want pity any more than you claim to want it.”
Tom lifted a weary hand to massage his temple. “Let’s not fight any more tonight. This is getting us nowhere.”
“I don’t want to fight,” she admitted. “I just need to know that you don’t dislike having me here. That I haven’t ruined your life. If that’s the way you feel, I need to know so I can make other arrangements for Kenny and me.”
“I don’t want you to go,” he repeated.
Taking her by surprise, he wrapped a hand around the back of her neck and pulled her to him. His lips covered hers in a kiss that almost made her forget they’d ever quarreled. By the time he lifted his head, she was trembling.
“It’s getting late,” he murmured. “And I have an early breakfast
meeting tomorrow. Maybe we’d better go to bed.”
She was certainly willing, if a bit nervous. Maybe she’d feel more like a married woman after she and Tom made love again. She glanced at his bed, then up at him. He smiled down at her, his eyes still unreadable to her.
“Good night, Leslie,” he said.
And politely closed his bedroom door in her face.
She stood in the hallway, staring at that closed door. And then she shook her head as though to clear it.
Just what was going on here? she asked herself as she walked reluctantly back to the guest room. There’d been a time when Tom couldn’t keep his hands off her. When they’d taken advantage of every spare minute to dive into bed and into each other. Physically, they’d been a perfect match.
What was holding him back now? And how could she let him know that if he was holding back for her sake, he needn’t bother?
He was her husband, dam it, she thought glumly. How long would they go on sleeping in separate beds?
Since Tom’s office wasn’t far from Nina’s shop, they had lunch together fairly often. He called her Tuesday morning and arranged to meet her at a deli within walking distance for both of them, about halfway between them.
It was a beautiful day, a bit windy, but still pleasantly warm for February. A nice day for a walk. As he maneuvered the lunchtime busy downtown sidewalks, Tom nodded to several acquaintances, who’d apparently felt the same way.
He and Nina arrived at the deli almost simultaneously. He bent to kiss his mother’s breeze-blushed cheek. She looked stunning in her swingy black coat over a black-and-white-patterned pantsuit, and he told her so.
“Thank you, dear,” she murmured, patting her ash-blond bob into place. “I like your outfit today, too.”
Since he was wearing his uniform, he chuckled, as his mother had intended. “We’d better get in there and grab a table before they’re all gone,” he said, taking her arm.
They found one of the last empty tables for two, commandeered it and ordered sandwiches and salads from a harried young server. Only then did Nina open a conversation. “How are Leslie and the baby?” she wanted to know.
“They’re fine.”
“Does Kenny sleep through the night?”
“Yeah.” Or at least Tom assumed he did. He figured he would have heard Leslie get up with the baby during the night. Since he’d slept very little, he’d been attuned to every sound.
“So how does it feel being a new dad?” she asked, only half teasing.
The question caught Tom off guard. He hadn’t really thought of himself as Kenny’s dad. Leslie had made it clear enough that she considered the baby hers. She hadn’t hesitated to ask Tom’s help to keep him, but marriage had been the extent of her expectations. He wasn’t even sure she wanted him to start taking an active interest in raising Kenny.
“I guess it’s too soon to tell,” he said.
Nina toyed with her salad. “Steve’s expecting you and Leslie to start adoption proceedings soon. Have you discussed it yet?”
“No,” Tom admitted. “We were just married the day before yesterday, Mom. There hasn’t been a lot of time for making plans.”
“No,” she conceded. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to push you.”
“You aren’t pushing me. I know you’re curious about what’s going on. It’s just that I don’t have much to tell you yet.”
Nina nodded, then asked, “How are your friends reacting to the news? What did Zach say?”
“I had at least a half-dozen calls last night demanding to know if the rumors were true. I thought Chris Patton was going to have to storm into my house and see Leslie for herself before she’d believe it. I managed to convince her to wait a few days until Leslie and I were ready to get out and socialize. Zach and Kim were dining at the same restaurant Leslie and I chose Sunday evening, so we broke the news to them then. I haven’t had a chance to talk to him since.”
A fleeting frown crossed Nina’s face. “Well? How did he react?”
“He congratulated me,” Tom answered lightly. “Said we’d have to get together with the wives soon. He was surprised, of course, but he managed not to put a foot in his mouth.”
“You told him the details, of course.”
Tom shook his head, avoiding his mother’s eyes. “I thought it best not to. For Leslie’s sake, I don’t want everyone to know that she came here to propose to me. That we married for convenience, rather than the usual reasons.”
“Everyone? Tom, we’re talking about Zach.”
Suppressing a wince, Tom sipped his iced tea before answering. “Zach doesn’t need all the details. I have to consider my wife’s feelings before my friend’s curiosity.”
“Your wife,” Nina repeated with a misty smile. “You said that so naturally.”
Tom blinked. “Yeah. I guess I did.”
Nina reached across the table and covered his hand with her own. “Is it really only a marriage of convenience, Tom? You were so fond of Leslie before. I don’t think you ever really got over heir. Weren’t you actually pleased that she came to you for help now?”
Tom set his glass down with a thump. “To be honest, Mom, I don’t know what I feel anymore.”
It felt pretty good to admit that. To let someone know that he was confused and uncertain, that he didn’t quite know what to do next. He’d been hiding his feelings for so long that it had become habit. And there were times when he needed to open up to someone. His mother had always been the only one he’d occasionally allowed inside his emotional walls. There’d been a time when he’d considered making a new opening for Leslie. That was before she’d left him, of course.
“And what does Leslie feel?”
“I don’t know that, either.”
“Then maybe it’s time you talked to her.”
He sighed. “When we talk, we quarrel. It’s probably better if we don’t talk.”
“You don’t really believe that,” she chided gently.
“No. I guess not.”
She pulled her hand away and returned to her lunch. “It’s understandable, of course, that Leslie would be a little wary about marriage. Especially with her parents’ histories. Steve said that her father made little effort to be a real husband or parent, and that Leslie’s mother always seemed more interested in her own problems than in Leslie’s. She’s probably seen few examples of happy marriages. It will be good for her to spend time with your friends. Especially Zach and Kim, and Sherm and Sami, who are all blissfully happy in their marriages.”
She sighed. “Of course, you didn’t have that example, either, since you’ve never known what it was like to be a part of a conventional, two-parent family.”
“And never missed it,” he assured her, truthfully for the most part. “You made a good home for me, Mom. You didn’t need anyone else to help raise me.”
“Thank you, sweetheart. But it would have been nice for you to have a father in your life when you were growing up. You’re very sweet to want to reassure me, but I know there were times when you were aware of what you had missed. You adored Zach’s father, and I heard you say once that you wished he were your father, too.”
Disconcerted, he shifted in his seat. “Everyone loves Zach’s dad. And George treated me like another son, for the most part. If I ever needed a man’s guidance, I always knew he was there for me.”
“You and Zach really are like brothers in many ways. As much as he loves his sisters, you always understood him best, ever since you were in first grade together.”
A ripple of regret went through him as Tom remembered a time when he and Zach had shared everything. When they’d known each other’s thoughts. Prior to the accident, the only thing Tom had ever kept from Zach was the way he’d felt after Leslie had left. He’d made a point of shrugging off the breakup as a lost cause, a mistake best put behind him. Afraid that Zach would feel sorry for him—or, worse, tease him mercilessly—Tom hadn’t let on how much Leslie had meant to him then. He’d never e
ven hinted that the thought of marriage and permanence had entered his mind on a few occasions before Leslie had received the job offer from Chicago.
Zach had behaved much the same way when he’d fallen for Kim, Tom remembered. Zach hadn’t told Tom about the first date he’d had with Kim, letting Tom find out by unexpectedly catching them together. And then, when Zach and Kim had broken up for a few weeks, Zach had pretended it didn’t matter. Had shrugged it off—just as Tom had under the same circumstances.
As for the months since the accident—well, Tom no longer understood Zach at all. He only knew that he missed their closeness. Their easy camaraderie. He hated it when Zach acted too solicitous to him now. He wished he understood what, exactly, had come between them.
He was tempted to blame it all on Kim. His and Zach’s friendship wouldn’t be the first that was strained by the arrival of a new bride. But somehow he knew that Kim had nothing to do with it. In fact, she seemed to have done everything she knew how to keep the friendship alive.
It wasn’t her fault that her efforts didn’t seem to be working.
Because it made him uncomfortable to talk about Zach, Tom abruptly changed the subject. “You’ve mentioned Steve Pendleton’s name a couple of times,” he said. “Have you been talking to him again? Was it you who convinced him to drop the custody battle?”
He was surprised when she blushed and looked quickly away.
“He made that decision on his own,” she replied. “I merely stated my opinion to him and he gave me the courtesy of considering what I said.”
“I’m not sure Leslie would thank you for pleading her case with him. You know how prickly she can be.”
“I, er, just happened to bring it up during a conversation. Steve’s really quite reasonable, Tommy. He simply wanted to make sure his nephew was being cared for. And he’s grieving for his sister, and the relationship they never had. You can’t blame him for that, can you?”
“I can blame him for being so brutal to Leslie. She was grieving, too, for the relationship she did have with Crystal. Instead of thanking her for being his sister’s loyal friend, he blamed her for everything that had gone wrong between Crystal and him. That was unfair and unkind.”