by Barbara Gee
Me: I will. You too.
I went to bed longing for the day when I could sleep well with him by my side.
Chapter 23
W
ednesday and Thursday passed with no test results. JP and I spent both evenings together. Of course I loved being with him, but he was understandably distracted. I could tell he was making an effort to be present and not let his mind wander to the situation with Lily too often, but he definitely wasn’t himself.
When I got a call from the school late Thursday evening asking if I could fill in for a sick teacher the next day, I readily accepted. Being busy gave me less time to worry about JP.
When he sent me a good morning text, I told him I wanted him to call me as soon as he heard anything, and that it was okay to give me the news in a voicemail if I couldn’t answer my phone.
He wrote right back. You’ll be my first call. I hope we don’t have to wait until Monday.
Me: I think you’ll hear today, and it’ll be good news.
JP: Man I hope so. I’m so done with this waiting.
Me: Today’s the day. I feel it.
JP: If you’re right, would you want to go over to Mom and Dad’s with me this evening to tell them?
I wasn’t surprised by his request. I knew he was planning to go to Garnett to spend the day with Lily tomorrow, so if he didn’t tell his folks today, he’d have to wait until Sunday.
Me: I’d love to. I’ll come to your place and we can leave from there.
JP: OK. And if I don’t hear anything we can just go out for dinner.
Me: Deal. But you are going to hear. I added a smiley face for good measure.
I checked my phone every chance I got during the day, my stomach starting to churn a little as noon came and went and still no word. I sent my second-graders to music class at one o’clock and hurried back to my desk to check yet again for a message.
This time there was a text that simply said call me and then a thumbs-up emoticon.
I sank into my chair clutching the phone, a huge smile on my face. He didn’t want to leave the news in a voicemail, but he didn’t want me to worry either. Thus the thumbs-up.
I immediately called, and he immediately picked up. “Hey, Myla.”
“Please tell me Miss Lily is a Keller,” I said.
“She is indeed,” he said. I could hear the smile in his voice and I was sure Adalyn had sounded just as happy when she’d called him with the news.
“Congratulations, Daddy.” I grabbed some tissues from the box on the desk as the tears came. I didn’t even try to hold them back. After days of emotional overload, I had to let loose.
“Daddy sounds really strange. I’m pretty sure I’ll stay JP to her for the foreseeable future.”
“I doubt it’ll be for long. She already loves you, so Daddy will come pretty naturally. What time shall I be at your place?”
“I’ll be home by five-thirty. Come then, and we can stop for dinner on the way.”
I agreed to that plan, glad we’d have a chance to talk more before breaking the news to Hank and Camilla.
After hanging up I just sat and stared out the window for a while, wiping my eyes frequently. How quickly things had changed. A week ago JP and I had been completely wrapped up in each other. The future I’d seen then had been marriage—hopefully soon, then a couple years to settle in together before starting a family.
Instead, if JP’s and my relationship stayed on the “together forever” track, I’d be a mother from the moment I said “I do.” Which was okay—loving Lily would be easy. It was just…..different from what I’d envisioned, and I couldn’t pretend I wasn’t grieving a little bit over losing all that time when JP and I could have been wrapped up in our own little world.
None of those thoughts meant I wasn’t thrilled to know Lily was his or that I resented her. Sure, life might be less complicated if JP had never found out about her, but that was neither here nor there now. She existed. She was JP’s. She was going to lose her beloved Grammy and go through some hard times. And JP and I would make sure she had a good home and lots of love. Even if we had to fight Haley to do it.
***
We lingered over dinner, talking about what the next half a year could look like. The obvious two things looming over us were the progression of Adalyn’s cancer and Haley’s possible interference with the adoption of Lily. Each could prove to be a lot to handle on their own, and together they seemed pretty daunting.
We agreed that the most pressing thing right now was preparing for when Adalyn’s health started deteriorating. Adalyn had assured JP she had friends who would take her to appointments and stay with her and Lily while she recovered from treatments, and she had babysitters for the actual treatment times, but she didn’t have long-term childcare for when she got to the point where she couldn’t take care of Lily by herself.
Naturally JP wanted to bring Lily home with him when that time arrived, but that would take a lot of planning.
“I’m hoping Mom will be able to babysit on weekdays when I’m at work,” JP told me. “Do you think that would be okay, or will Lily feel like I’m pushing her off onto someone else because she’s a burden?”
“Are you kidding?” I asked with a smile. “Once she gets to know Camilla she’s going to beg to go to Grandma’s house.”
He nodded slowly. “I feel like family’s the best thing I can give her, you know? Adalyn has provided everything Lily needs, but she couldn’t give her an extended family. That’s one thing I can do for her that might make a difference.”
“I agree.”
“Not that I expect Mom to take Adalyn’s place,” he said quickly, “I’m just saying the more people around to love her through the hard times, the better.”
I reached across the table for his hand. “I know what you’re saying, JP, and it will definitely help. She’s going to feel confused and sad, and she might lash out at times and need some space, but she’ll never feel unwanted. In the end, that’s what’ll help her get past the grief.”
His lips curved slowly up. “So shall we go tell Grandma, Grandpa, and Aunt Janna?”
“Yes, we shall.” I tilted my head. “I haven’t asked—what reason did you give for us coming over on such short notice? And how did you get Janna to meet us there?”
“I said I had to talk to them about something important but not to worry, it’s nothing bad.”
“Their imaginations are no doubt running wild.”
He winced. “Yeah. I, uh, have a feeling they think it has to do with you.”
I thought I knew what he was getting at, but I played dumb. “They already know we’re back together, right?”
Now he looked sheepish. “Mmm hmm, but I think they might be expecting to hear we’re even more together.”
I felt my cheeks getting warm and I hoped the restaurant was too dimly lit for him to notice. I tried to play it cool. “Wow, they must think you’re a really fast mover.”
“Yeah.”
I couldn’t quite read his expression so I forced a laugh and kept things light. “I can guarantee they haven’t guessed the real reason.”
“Not a chance.” His fingers tightened on mine. “You ready to go?”
I nodded and he stood up, tugging me with him. He’d already signed the credit card slip so we grabbed our coats and left.
It was only a short distance to his parents’ house from the restaurant, and we didn’t talk much. When he helped me down from his truck in their drive, I slid my arms around his waist and hugged him tight.
“It’s going to be okay,” I said. “They’ll be surprised and they’ll have lots of questions, but they’ll be happy about it.”
He let out a heavy sigh. “Yeah, I know.” He threaded his fingers through my hair and tilted my face up. “Thanks for being here. I know it’s not easy but it makes all the difference to know you’re sticking this out with me.”
I smoothed my hands up over his chest. “I’ve tried the ‘life without JP’ thi
ng, remember? And I pretty much hated it.”
He kissed me softly. “You’re amazing. I never want you to feel taken for granted.” His hands settled on my shoulders, his thumbs in the hollows of my collar bone. “If I get distracted by stuff going on with Lily and start neglecting you, set me straight, okay?”
“Okay.”
We headed toward the front door just as I had a new thought. We were assuming Haley would put up a fight because of the money, but we were also assuming JP would get full-custody because he was Lily’s father and had a spotless record. Sure, it would take some time to go through the court system, but eventually Haley would lose her case and have to go away. But would she? What if she decided to try for visitation? That wouldn’t give her control over the money, but it would earn her some measure of revenge on JP by insinuating herself into his life. If her animosity toward him hadn’t faded over the years, that might be reason enough for her to go for it.
Oh man, that thought felt like a lead weight settling on my shoulders. If that happened, Haley would be an unwelcome part of our lives for many years to come and I hated to even think about it.
For the first time, I felt not just dread for the fight, but also a niggling fear. Haley had broken JP and I up once before, and I had no reason to believe she wouldn’t try again, given the chance.
Chapter 24
C
amilla answered the door with an expectant smile on her face. She hugged us both and said how nice it was that we’d come. Janna popped her head out of the living room, then hurried down the hall to us.
“Look at you two!” she said, beaming. “Could you be any cuter?” She enveloped me in an enthusiastic hug, then did the same to JP. “I don’t mean to steal your thunder, big brother, but it’s not like we don’t know why you’re here, and I want to see how you did. I’m a little hurt that you didn’t ask for my input.”
As she spoke, she reached for my left hand and drew it up toward her face—which fell when she realized my ring finger was bare.
“You proposed without a ring?” she screeched. “Or wait—is it being sized? It was too big, wasn’t it?”
JP wrapped his fingers gently around my wrist and pulled my hand from his sister’s. He held onto it, weaving his fingers through mine. His hand was shaking slightly, showing his nerves.
“I didn’t propose, Janna. Way to make everything awkward.” He reached out and tousled her hair in the annoying way of a big brother and she ducked away, her eyes wide.
“Oh my word, you’re kidding me. So then…..why are you here? Mom said you had something important to tell us.”
“I do, but it’s not that.”
By this time Hank was coming down the hall to see what was going on. “Hi guys,” he said with a confused smile. “What’s all the commotion?”
“Just Janna being Janna,” JP said with a half fond, half exasperated grin. “Come on, let’s go sit down.”
He glanced at me as the others preceded us to the living room. I smiled and squeezed his hand so he’d know I wasn’t upset at Janna’s antics. I was awfully thankful for his earlier warning, however, which had prevented me from being taken completely by surprise.
We all took seats near the cheerfully burning fire. JP looked at the three curious and expectant faces and cleared his throat.
“Okay, guys, I have to tell you all something that’s going to come as a shock and there’s really no way to ease into it. I hope you’ll be able to accept it, though, because I’m going to need your support.”
His parents exchanged a glance. “Of course you’ll have our support, Jed,” Camilla said with complete trust.
Janna leaned forward and scrunched her face. “But you are kind of easing,” she said.
Camilla shushed her with a pat on the knee.
JP looked over at me and I gave him a nod of encouragement. His chest rose on a deep breath, and then he began.
“Four years ago, I went to my ten-year high school class reunion. Haley Knight was there. I’m sure you guys remember her.”
Janna grimaced. “Yeah, but we wish we didn’t,” she said, making me like her even more than I already did.
“Right. Well, that night I did several things I lived to regret. I got drunk, I left with Haley—and I spent the night with her.”
“No way,” Janna breathed, “you were with Myla then.” Her eyes suddenly grew large and she looked back and forth between the two of us. “Wait, is that what happened between you two?” Her gaze held mine. “Is that why you left?”
“Yes,” JP answered for me. “That’s what happened. I have no excuse, but I have to say this. I remember nothing about that night. I don’t remember leaving with Haley, and I don’t remember going to her place. When I woke up the next morning I realized what had happened, but I have no memory of it.”
His parents looked surprised and disappointed, but they didn’t say anything, just waited for him to go on. Janna looked surprised, disappointed, and mad, but she also waited.
“Eight days ago, I got a phone call from Haley’s mother, Adalyn Knight, asking me to come to Garnett to meet with her. She still lives there, in the same house. At first I refused, but then she told me why she wanted to see me.”
JP rubbed both of his hands down over his face. They were noticeably shaking now and Camilla shifted forward on the couch, wanting to comfort her son but not sure if she should.
“Mom and Dad…Janna…I have a child. A daughter. Her name is Lily Adele Knight. She’s three years and three months old.”
“You’re a dad?” Janna asked, her jaw dropping.
JP nodded. “I am. And according to Jude and Ava, Lily looks just like you.”
Janna’s brows shop up. “Wait, they’ve seen her and I haven’t?”
JP couldn’t help but smile. “No, just pictures.”
“Oh, Jed,” Camilla said softly. “I don’t know what to say. Have you….I assume you’ve met her?”
He nodded. “I spent four days with them.”
“With Haley?” Janna asked incredulously.
JP quickly set her straight. “No, not with Haley. She’s not in the picture at all right now. It’s kind of a long story, but she had the baby and turned her over to Adalyn immediately. Adalyn adopted her and is raising her.”
“And you’re just now finding out?” Hank asked.
JP nodded. “Adalyn wasn’t positive I was the father. Haley said so, but she’s not exactly reliable. Adalyn used that as an excuse not to contact me all these years. But now she’s been diagnosed with cancer and her doctor says she has at most six months to live. She needs to make arrangements for Lily and she felt she had no choice but to call me.”
“Wow, that seems kind of brazen,” Janna said. “She keeps your kid from you all this time, then when she needs you she expects you to step up.”
“Believe me, she and I have had that discussion,” JP said. “She knows it was wrong. I’ve forgiven her, and I actually like her a lot. She’s devoted her life to Lily and I’m just grateful she did finally tell me.”
“Son, are you sure the girl is yours?” Hank asked. “You said yourself the mother isn’t reliable.”
“You need to take a paternity test,” Janna injected.
“I did. The results came back today. She’s mine.”
Camilla put a hand to her mouth, then rose from the couch and came toward JP with her arms wide open. He stood and they embraced for a long moment.
“I know this is hard, Jed,” she said softly. “It’s not what you planned. But I also know you’ll do the right thing, and so will we. We’ll love your little girl with all our hearts. It’s just going to take a bit to get over the shock.”
JP didn’t speak—I don’t think he was capable of it right then. He just hugged his mom and then his dad and sister.
Janna wiped her eyes and then came and sat down beside me. “I’m not gonna lie, Jed. If you had to make that kind of mistake, I wish you’d made it with Myla.”
“You and me bo
th,” JP said fervently.
“Where’s Haley now?” Janna asked.
“We don’t know. She has a long-standing drug problem and Adalyn only hears from her a couple times a year when she needs money. She’s been in rehab three times, but the only time she’s managed to stay clean was from right before our class reunion until she gave birth. And that was only because Adalyn promised to pay her off if she carried the baby to full-term.”
I added, “She’s never seen Lily, and she never asks about her. Adalyn said she doesn’t like to be reminded that she has a child.”
“Do you think that means she won’t cause trouble?” Janna asked, frowning skeptically. “I can’t imagine her staying away if she knows you have Lily, Jed. She was totally obsessed with you in high school. She was even jealous of me, and I’m your sister!”
JP gave me an apologetic look before answering. “I don’t think that at all. If I had to guess, my money would be on her doing whatever she can to mess things up. Not just because of a vendetta against me, though. There’s a pretty large sum of money involved, which will go to Lily. I expect Haley will fight for custody because she figures it’ll give her a way to get at the trust fund.”
“I assume you’ve already been in contact with an attorney?” Hank asked.
“Yes. Adalyn’s done a good job of being proactive. It just all depends on when Haley finds out about the cancer and what she decides to do from there.”
“Can we see the pictures of Lily?” Camilla wondered.
“Yeah, show me my doppelganger,” Janna said eagerly.
JP took out his phone and Janna went over to sit by him. Camilla was on the other side and they leaned in close to get their first look at Lily, oohing and aahing as he scrolled through the photos.
Hank, content to wait his turn, walked over and took Janna’s place beside me.
“I’m glad you’re here with him, Myla,” he said softly. “How’re you doing with all this? I’m sure it was as much a shock to you as it was to us.”
“I’m okay,” I replied, appreciating his concern. “I’m a little worried about Haley, but I’m good with the Lily part. I met her and she’s a wonderful little girl. Happy and smart. It’s going to be very easy for all of you to fall in love with her.”