by Dori Lavelle
My pulse skittered as I watched him roll up the pieces of cloth, then wrap them around the arch of his foot. When he reached the ankle bone, he tied the cloth firmly around it, holding it in place.
Blood surged from my fingertips to my toes. I couldn’t deny that we’d been getting closer, and my feelings for Owen had changed. Like Miles, he had transformed into a completely different person in front of my eyes. It was as though I were meeting him for the first time.
His caring side blew me away, just as Miles’s dark side had. Just as Owen’s body was doing now.
Stop it, Chloe. Look away. You cannot think about him like that. Your life is complicated enough.
I pulled myself together, holding my hands tight to prevent them from reaching out to touch him, to see if his muscles were as hard as they looked. “Is it doing the job… the t-shirt?”
He looked at me, his blue eyes bright in the soft morning light. “Better than I even expected.”
For a moment I stared at him, chewing my bottom lip. I had to ask—needed to know. “Owen, I need to ask you something.”
“Sure, what is it?” Unaware of the confusion raging in my body, he pushed his feet into his shoes.
“We were not all that close in Boca Raton. Why would you do this for me? Why are you really here?”
I had my suspicions, but I wanted him to tell me the truth. Perhaps he was just being a good person, preventing a murder he knew was going to happen.
In the silence that fell between us, I didn’t hear anything else. The crickets stopped chirping, the birds sang their last notes and went quiet, and the wind died in the trees.
“Can you handle the truth?”
“I’ve been hearing a lot of truths lately. What’s one more?”
He placed a hand on my thigh, and goosebumps scattered across my leg. I stopped breathing.
His fingers traced a circle on my skin. Even though my pants separated my skin from his, I felt the warmth of every touch. “I’m here because I love you, Chloe.”
I didn’t say anything as the words repeated inside my head like a broken record. Round and round and round it turned.
He loved me?
“I know this must come as a shock.” He moved his hand to the back of my neck, walking his fingers up to the base of my skull and burying them in my hair. He kept them there, warm, comforting against my scalp. The cold shock of the truth melted away with his touch. “I’ve loved you from the moment my eyes first met yours.”
“How? Why?” How could I not have known? Was I that blind? I thought he hated me.
“Those are questions I can't answer,” he said. “The only thing I know is, my best friend introduced me to his girlfriend, and something inside my heart cracked. The moment I saw you, I knew you were the one—the only one I wanted. The only one I couldn’t have.”
My mind traveled back to the times we’d been in the same room, searched for a sign in his eyes. “I thought you didn’t even like me.” I rubbed my eyes. “Except… except for that time you tried to hit on me, of course.”
“That was one of my weak moments. I’d had a little too much to drink.” His laugh was a deep rumble in his throat. “Look, pretending not to like you was an act.” His fingers moved again, tracing shapes on my scalp now. I longed to lean into him, to take everything he was giving. But confusion stopped me in my tracks.
“The only way I could deny my feelings for you was to find a way not to like you, a reason to push you away. For the longest time, I tried to fool my heart. In the end, my heart fooled me. It refused to let you go.”
“Is that why you acted all strange right after we met? Why you messed up at Torp Inc.?”
“Now you know. Before you came into my life—Miles’s life—I had everything under control. I thought I had the kind of life I wanted: the money, the women. A perfect life for a bachelor. When I met you, I realized none of it had value, unless I shared it with you. My life was dark and worthless unless you were in it, really in it. Unless you were mine. And not just in my dreams.”
My heart ached. It had to have been torturous for him to love someone and not have those feelings reciprocated. Even worse, he’d promised to stand by as best man and watch someone else marry the woman he loved. “Why didn’t you say anything?”
“How could I? Miles was my best friend.”
“You did try to chase me away from him, though. You never missed the opportunity to tell me you didn’t approve of our relationship.”
“I tried but failed. I thought it was over. That’s why I came to make peace with you that day. After the wedding I was going to move to France for a couple of months, or years. Being around you, seeing you happy with someone else, hurt too bad.”
Tears burned in my eyes. Words like those weren’t meant to hurt. They were meant to soothe. Now that I understood Owen, knew where he was coming from, my heart went out to him, broke for him. His actions were products of a broken heart. Weeks ago it would have been so easy to respond, so easy to let him down, to call him a jerk and move on. But now, my voice deceived me.
He stroked my hair. “When I discovered you were in danger, when I found the notebook in Miles's office, I had to do something. I needed to save you. I’m sorry it took me so long.”
I placed a hand on his cheek. “You don’t need to be. You came, Owen. You’re here. You saved me. Whatever happens, I’ll always be grateful to you.”
“There’s one way you can thank me. One simple way.” Before I had a chance to decipher his words, his lips were on mine. Something inside my head exploded. The charge from my head to my toes was hot—too hot, electrifying. But I came to my senses quickly and pulled away. I had to.
“You can’t do that.” I bit my lip, tasting his kiss and the salt of my tears.
“I understand.” He pointed at my lips. “That’s enough. I’ll take that one kiss for now. Maybe one day there will be more… if we survive this. A man can hope.”
My heart squeezed. “You don’t understand, Owen. What I feel for you doesn’t matter. I can’t kiss you, I can’t...”
“You don't have to be loyal to him. Not after everything he’s done. He’s a monster.”
“Miles isn’t a monster; Alvin is.” I swallowed the lump in my throat. “But there's something else.”
“More than what you told me last night?”
I covered my face with my hands, hiding from his intense gaze. I had to say it before words failed me. “Alvin might be HIV-positive.” I took a shuddering breath. “He could have passed it on to me. That’s why I’m scared to kiss you.” I dropped my hands into my lap. Laughter shot up my chest, spilling out just as fresh tears filled my eyes. “I might actually be HIV-positive too.”
“What?” Owen shot to his feet, almost slamming his head into a stalactite. His hands moved to his face in slow motion as he turned his back to me. He was giving me a taste of the stigma that surely awaited me in the real world.
I dropped my head, feeling dirty. “I didn’t want to tell you. But you have feelings for me.” A tear rolled down my cheek. “I should have told you before you kissed me.”
He didn’t speak. His shoulders quaked as he stumbled toward one wall of the cave, almost collapsing into it as he rested his palms against the dirt, head dipped low.
I shivered, my body suddenly cold despite the breeze’s promise of another hot day.
I stood and walked toward him. I hesitated before placing a hand on his back. “Owen, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have…”
He whirled around, eyes dazzling with liquid fury. “This is not about the kiss. I kissed you, not you me.” He took me by the shoulders and gazed down into my eyes. His hands went slack and his body seemed to fold as he sank, his knees hitting the dirty ground at my feet. He leaned his head against my legs.
He raised it again before I could rest my hands on it. “This is not on you, baby.” The furious sparkle in his eyes twisted my gut. “Don’t you dare apologize. You’re not at fault here. It’s fuckin’ Mil
es.” His hands wrapped around my calves, and his fury sank into my skin. “The bastard knowingly infected you.” He stood up again, pressing the heel of his palm against his forehead. “I’ll make sure he pays for this.” He returned to me, pulled me almost roughly into his arms. “I’m sorry.”
I let him hold me. His heart pounded against my chest. I didn’t cry.
The emptiness intensified when he pulled back. He placed both hands on my cheeks. The size of his hands made it possible for him to cocoon my head. “We’ll figure this out.” The cracks in his voice deepened. “One way or another, you and I will figure this out. We both know HIV is not the death sentence it once was. Don’t ask me again to turn my back on you. Especially not now.”
Chapter Fourteen
Opening up to Owen about the HIV was both good and bad. He needed to know, considering his feelings for me.
On the other hand, now that everything was out in the open, reality had pushed itself to the front of my mind. I could no longer shake it. It was real.
No matter how one looked at it, my life would change. Wherever I went in the world—even if I moved to beautiful Tuscany—this truth about me would follow.
I could get on medication, manage the virus, but ultimately, being HIV-positive would always remind me of Alvin. He had given me something of himself—left a mark that would stay with me, even if he wasn’t physically present. They could throw him in prison, or put him in a mental institution, but he’d never really be gone from my life. We were connected.
After we left the cave, Owen didn’t bring it up again. He treated me the same way he had before I told him. In fact, my revelation seemed to draw us even closer.
Owen dropped the stick that had served as his support. “Almost at the top.” His breath came in quick gasps. “Shouldn’t be more than fifteen minutes to get up there. We’ll be able to know the exact position of the village.”
“Finally.” The top of the mountain would be a milestone, a step closer to safety.
“Do you want to drink… finish the bottle?”
“No, I’m fine. Let’s save it for later. Anything could happen between here and the village.” I had long stopped being naïve. Just because we were close didn’t mean we would reach it. I remembered when Alvin forced us to change our route, making us travel the long way instead of getting to the yacht in no time. Distance meant nothing in our current circumstances.
Nothing was ever as it seemed.
“You could be right. But let me know if you change your mind.” He placed a hand on the small of my back, his touch melting away the aches in a part of me I could not see or touch.
When he touched me, an invisible cocoon enveloped me, protecting me. When he smiled, my stomach flipped. But I didn’t want to get ahead of myself. There was so much between us at the moment, so many kinks to iron out before we could see straight. For now, all we could do was depend on each other to survive.
“Come on.” I stepped away from his touch. “Let’s get to that village.”
“You’re not alone in this. You know that, right?” His voice mixed with the crunch of twigs and rocks beneath his feet.
“Actually, I am.” I turned slightly to toss the words over my shoulder. “I appreciate your help, but to a certain extent, I am alone. Once we get back home, I will have to deal with whatever comes my way on my own.”
He fell into step with me and wove his fingers with mine. I didn’t pull away this time. “You’re wrong. I know everything seems terrifying right now, but if you work with me, we’ll find a way, together. Like I said, HIV doesn’t have to be a death sentence. My uncle, Walter, is HIV-positive. He has been happy and healthy for thirty years now.”
Tears glistened on my eyelashes like diamonds as I turned to him. “I’m glad your uncle is okay. Thank you for telling me.”
“And you will be, too.” He tightened his fingers around mine. “Since I have some experience with HIV, let me help you, let me be there for you. It doesn’t have to be a burden you carry alone. I don’t love you any less.”
“I never, ever thought I’d say this about you, but you’re a good man, Owen Firmin.”
“Let me be good to you, Chloe Parker.”
“Let’s talk about this back in Boca Raton.” It was the only promise I could give him.
By the time we reached the top of what turned out to be a dormant volcano, the sun blazed high in the sky, the heat spilling over us like a hot shower.
Owen was right: we were able to see the small village—or was it a large farm? Thick farmland surrounded about five or six huts.
“What are we waiting for? Let’s get to it.”
Owen placed a hand on my arm. “Drink first.” He passed me the water bottle. I took a few sips and gave it back to him.
“Go ahead and finish it. I’m okay.”
“That’s not fair on you. You can’t let me have it all.”
“You deserve to have it all.”
I sank down on a rock, gulping in breaths of air. “You’re complicating things.”
He placed a hand on top of my head. “Things are only as complicated as you make them out to be. There’s nothing complicated about the way I feel about you. I love you. It’s as simple as that. Everything else is just details.”
“Okay.” I took another sip of water, focusing on the stream moving down my throat. I stood. “You’re right. Some things are simple. Right now, I want you to finish the water.” I pushed the bottle into his hands “It’s as simple as that.”
A low laugh rumbled in his chest. “I’m glad to see you still have that fire I love so much. Don’t let anything or anyone take that away from you.” He lifted the bottle to his lips and took a swig.
I turned my gaze to the sparkling sea in the distance, and watched the waves crashing and frothing on the shore. So far away and yet so near. I could almost reach out and touch the water, dive into its coolness, allow myself to be submerged, to be refreshed.
Would I ever be able to do that again?
We continued our hike around the rim of the volcano, in search of a shortcut to the village. I walked a few steps in front of Owen so he wouldn’t try to hold my hand again.
The more time we spent together, the more vulnerable to him I became. His touch was something I wanted, even craved, but I couldn’t give in to it.
After a while, I bent to adjust my sandals. My heart crashed when I heard the voice I dreaded the most. It slithered like a snake and wrapped itself around my throat.
I straightened up so fast, something popped in my back. My movements lacked energy as I turned to look behind me.
Alvin had changed since the last time I saw him—his hair was tousled and there were cuts on his dirt-smeared face. The venom in his eyes was like molten lava. His gun was pointed at Owen.
“You damn traitor.” He took a step closer. “You think you can steal my wife and not suffer the consequences?”
With each step Alvin took forward, Owen took one back, nearer to me, the way he had done when we spotted the snake.
“You’re full of shit. She was never meant to be your wife. You played her all along. You infected her with HIV, you stinking bastard.” The direction of Owen’s movements changed. Fear clawed my spine when he charged toward Alvin. I closed my eyes at the crunch of his fist as he slammed it into Alvin’s face.
The gun dropped from Alvin’s hands and slid out of his reach, bouncing off a rock on the ground. Owen darted for it, but before he could touch it, Alvin tripped him.
Owen fell face first into the ground only to flip onto his back again.
“No,” I screamed when Alvin dropped to Owen’s side, his fist catching Owen’s nose.
Blood.
No. No.
Owen could get infected.
Alvin’s bloody fist caught Owen’s jaw next.
I wanted to run past as they battled, to grab the gun and save Owen, but my legs had forgotten how to move. By the time the life returned to them, Owen lay defeated on the ground an
d the gun was back in Alvin’s hands. He stood over Owen, one leg on each side of his body. Owen’s face was turned to the side, his cheek on the ground. His eyes met mine, and I understood every word he didn’t say.
I’m sorry.
An electric current of fear raced through my entire body. My eyes pleaded with him not to give up.
“Look at you.” Alvin aimed the gun at Owen’s head. “You’re still the pussy you were in college. I gave you a chance to run, to be smart, but you didn’t take it. Now there’s no way out but death.” He punctuated each word with a wave of the gun, and each time, my heart came to the verge of stopping. I expected to hear a bang, waited for the jerk of Owen’s body as the bullet hit him.
Think, think, think. Do something. My gaze swept the ground for something, anything that could be of help.
Alvin glanced at me and then at Owen. “No one fucks my bitch and lives. Why the fuck did you have to get in the way?” A shower of spit sprayed from his mouth, sparkling in the sunshine.
“She’s not… your bitch,” Owen croaked.
“Tell that to the bullet.”
My body tensed when I heard a click, one that signaled death. He was going to shoot. He would kill Owen, continue torturing me, and then kill me as well.
A flicker of rage expanded inside my chest, growing, extending until it reached my hands, the tips of my fingers. A shot of adrenaline rushed through me, pushed me to the edge of insanity, pushed me to act before I could think.
The sound of the gunshot hit my ears hard just as the rock I hurled at Alvin caught him above the ear. He reeled, and the bullet landed in the dirt next to Owen’s head.
He jerked his head toward me. Blood trickled down his jaw.
I wasn’t done with him yet. My hands curled into fists. My foot lifted off the ground. One step. Two steps. He was coming for me now, gun raised. Of course he would. I wouldn’t let it stop me. I had a plan. I pulled every ounce of energy from each corner of my body, felt it thumping in the center of my heart. His eyes widened when I shot like a bullet toward him, switching my run to a half circle moments before I reached him, barreling into his body with a scream that scratched my throat. The impact of my body knocked him off balance, just as I’d planned. He tried but failed to catch himself, to stop his body from tipping over the edge of the volcano and into the caldera, a tortured yell and his gun following him down.