“What’s he talking about?” The amusement is suddenly wiped from my expression.
I push up from the floor onto my knees, looking Alana in the eyes, but she is throwing daggers straight through my man. Finally, after a battle of wills no one wins, she glances my way and her expression softens marginally.
“Nothing, honey.” Her words come out as a slow bite that she tries to cover with a quick smile before turning so I can’t see her face.
Oh, it is anything but nothing. She is hiding something from me. Me. Her best friend. Her family.
“Jackson and I like to keep family and business separate. You know that.” Irritation is thick in her voice. “In order to do that, very few people in the corporate world know we’re married. To each other that is,” she adds, as if people may think they aren’t married at all.
This worries me. It frightens me so much I jump off the floor not understanding, but before I can question her further, Gabriel cries indicating he’s awake.
“Ah, he’s awake,” Alana announces with more enthusiasm than moments ago. “I’ll get him for you.”
How convenient, like she wasn’t just grilling me about still having him.
“Alana,” I call out, but she ignores me heading down the hall.
I blow out a stream of air from my mouth then pivot, turning to face Drago.
“You’re going to tell me exactly what you know later on, do I make myself clear?”
“Crystal, babe.”
Looking over at the small kitchen table in the corner, I remember the lingerie. Nodding in that direction, I say, smiling, “I got presents today. Would you know anything about that?”
His head turns, looking behind him.
“If it’s sexy underwear, then yes, I do. If not, then it isn’t from me.” His head turns back, facing me again.
“You tore up one pair of panties, not five, or any of my bras. D,” I draw out, “that’s too much.”
Striding over to me, he reaches out, tugs on his T-shirt and pulls me to his sweaty front. I’m not even grossed out. The sexy smile on his face has me weakening at the knees.
“Nothing, Bri”—his head moves slowly from side to side—“is too much when it comes to you.” His hands slide under my butt, lifting me up in a move that looks effortless. “Besides, I think I’m the one that’s going to benefit from that purchase, don’t you?”
He pulls on the back of my neck, smashing his lips to the skin below my ear. I squirm as it tickles, and my brother and sister-in-law’s issues are forgotten—at least for now.
* * *
A dip in the bed behind me pulls my eyes open the next morning. I don’t need to look at my smartphone to know it’s later in the morning than the time I’m usually awake by. The sun is already shining through the sheer curtains, letting me know it’s daylight outside.
Rolling over onto my other side, I see Drago placing Gabriel down on the bed between us, then he gets back under the covers, all while balancing a bottle between the baby’s lips.
My lips tip at the sight.
“I was trying not to wake you. I guess I did a real shit job of that.”
“Morning,” I greet him as I squeeze my pillow, snuggling up to it.
“You know, you didn’t have to come back last night. You could have stayed with your sister-in-law.”
I groan on the inside, because that was the original plan. When Drago found out why Alana came over yesterday, he was all for me going with her to the luxury hotel. He told me, in front of her, he didn’t have any plans this weekend so he would keep Gabriel at my condo for the night so I could have fun. And it was fun—at first—until Alana started harping on me caring for the baby again. Then she got more serious when she wanted to discuss Drago.
She went all motherly, and frankly, I got tired of listening to it. I didn’t need her to tell me who D is, or who she thinks he is because she doesn’t know. All she knows, just like everyone else, are rumors. She doesn’t see into his eyes. She doesn’t witness the man underneath the dress clothes. She doesn’t see the good in him like I do.
Taking a cab, I was home before midnight.
I wasn’t even worried about leaving Gabriel alone with D. Honestly, it wasn’t even a second thought. Thinking about that now, I keep wondering in the back of mind if it’s possible he’s playing me in any way and decide to squash that thought. He’s done nothing to cause me to doubt his motives. I’d feel it in the pit of my stomach if he weren’t genuine. I know I would.
“I know, but I missed you guys. What did you two do last night?” I reach over, taking over holding the bottle in Gabriel’s mouth. I really did miss them both, and being here right now, I do like it a lot. Alana may be right, to a degree, but I do know that this little guy is in the best possible place he can be. And for that reason alone, nothing else matters.
“Watched Sports Center.”
“Ooh,” I exaggerate. “You both went wild.”
Drago chuckles, falling onto his back.
Putting his hands behind his head, I take the opportunity to admire his naked torso.
“Don’t look at me like that,” Drago chastises. “I can’t do shit about it with him in here.”
“Don’t cuss in front of him.”
“Seriously?” He laughs. “He can’t talk. He can’t repeat it.”
“You say it now, and you’ll still be saying it when he’s ten,” I reason.
“Bri,—his eyebrow shoot up—“don’t you think you’re getting a little too attached to this kid?”
Not him too.
It’s then I realize what I’ve just said. I guess I should be grateful he picked up on me thinking he and I would still be in Gabe’s life years from now, because Drago would still be in mine, and not because I was thinking of Drago being this sweet baby boy’s dad.
I should be grateful that’s how he took it, but it only feels sour in my stomach.
Lies. I hate lies. I hate it even more when it’s me doing the lying.
It’s never bothered me when it was for my job—until now. It feels wrong, like I’m betraying him in a sense. Maybe I am. And if I am . . .?
I don’t want to think about that, so I change the subject.
“How come you’ve never once asked me the details of my investigation?”
“Because I’m not worried.” There is no hesitation in his voice and I don’t understand why. If I have a member of law enforcement hell-bent on putting my ass in jail, I think I might sweat a little at the least. “But . . .”
He looks up at the ceiling, not finishing what he was going to ask, so I prompt him. “But what?”
“Why do you still have him?” His head turns, Drago’s eyes landing back on me. “You’re not in social work, you’re a cop.”
“I know I am.”
Where is he going with this?
“It just seems . . . odd is all.”
Gabriel pushes his bottle out of his mouth, not wanting any more, so I place the near-empty bottle on the nightstand behind me.
Reaching underneath him, I scoop Gabe into my hands and then place him on my chest. The connection I feel with him is instant.
He’s exactly where he should be, I think to myself.
“Look, D. I can’t tell you the details, I want to, I really do, but my hands are bound—for now. Just know that this, here with me, is the second-best place he can possibly be.” And it is. I’m damn sure of that.
“And the first?”
“Somewhere”—I shake my head—“he can’t be at the moment.” I start to lightly pat Gabriel’s back. “Can we drop this subject, please? I got enough of it from Alana.” And I’m tired of fucking hearing about it. I get they don’t know the whole story, the story at all, but I’ve got this.
God, I hope I do.
“Maybe she’s trying to look at it objectively like I am. Have you thought of that?” His eyes bore into mine.
“Be done,” I warn.
He sighs. “Fine. I won’t say another word. H
appy?”
“Not exactly, but thank you.”
“What do you want to do today? I haven’t had a weekend off in forever.” His mood seems to change, lightening, which is a good sign.
“Be lazy,” I tell him, because that’s exactly what I want. I want to relax, not thinking about any of the shit on my plate and just enjoy this, enjoy them, while I can.
And that’s exactly what we do. Drago walks down to the corner market an hour later, getting us breakfast, and then the three of us lounge on my couch, watching movies, and it’s one of the simplest but best days I’ve ever spent that didn’t include my family.
Then again, maybe this is a new beginning with a new family.
18
Walking up the steep steps toward the second floor of my complex with Gabe planted on my hip holding his new stuffed monkey between us and Ms. Lincoln’s grocery bags in my other hand, I’m in the best mood. I wrapped up a case earlier than expected, so when I stopped by to pick up Gabriel, I had one of those spur-of-the-moment ideas to take him to the zoo.
I know he won’t remember any of it, but he turned five months old today. He needed celebrating. And I have no idea how much longer I’ll have with him. The state could take him away from me at any moment. I pray they don’t, because I need more time to get Drago to warm up to him before he finds out Gabriel is his son. If this past weekend is any indication of the type of father he would make, then there’s hope. D has been staying most nights at my house, except last night, and he’s been heavily involved in helping me with the baby—his baby.
It’s a good thing, but when he does learn the truth, then where does that leave me?
I’ve gotten attached.
Too attached.
I love this little boy. Is that so wrong? He isn’t mine, I fully know that, yet I can’t help but feel like he is. I’ve been caring for him for two months now. I wake up to him every morning and I go to sleep with him on my mind while he’s in the next room.
Once I reach my floor, I head straight to Ms. Lincoln’s condo first to drop off her things. Grocery shopping is the least I can do for the lady when she needs it.
Switching the bags to the hand I’m holding the baby with, I grip the sacks with my fingers so I’m able to knock on her door. When she doesn’t answer after a long moment, I knock again.
Still no answer.
That’s strange.
She rarely leaves unless she is going to walk down to the coffee shop not far from our building. But that’s only on the weekends to meet one of her lady friends. Plus, she knew I would be back in a couple of hours with the groceries she asked me to pick up. Surely, she would have texted or called if she was going to leave.
About the same time I blow out a frustrated puff of air out of my mouth, Gabriel becomes fussy. He’s been relatively good since I picked him up at noon. It’s just after five in the evening now, so I know he’s tired and ready for another nap.
“I know, sweet man.” Squeezing him to me, I brush a kiss to his little forehead as I turn toward my door across the hall. “Let’s get you into bed. Your dad should be here in a couple of hours. I want you well rested when he arrives.”
I’ve been referring to D as his dad when we are alone. I know I shouldn’t, but I can’t help myself. Calling him by his name doesn’t feel right.
Putting that out of my head, I think about all the things I need to get done before D gets here. I need a shower. I stink, well, we stink from walking around the zoo these last couple of hours. I have dinner to prepare and I want to impress the Italian part of Drago with the meal I’m cooking. He may be only half, but he’s admitted Italian food is his favorite. Mona, his nanny and housekeeper, spoils him regularly with authentic meals.
A small smile breaks out thinking about him. Never in a million years would I have thought I’d be not only be sleeping with an Acerbi but dating one too. Drago isn’t anything like the things I know to be true about his father. And I don’t care what anyone in my department claims; he’s not like Vincent. He’s good. And I’m breaking the rules by secretly seeing him. That part of this whole mess is weighing on me hard. I hate it, but it has to be this way until I prove Drago isn’t in bed with the dirty drug lord he’s suspected of being involved with.
I just need more time. So far, Tom hasn’t brought up planting under Drago’s nose, so until he does, I’ll keep my mouth shut there.
But if he tries to, I don’t know what I’m going to do. Drago says there are discrepancies in his shipments. Maybe if he would let me help him figure it out, then I could say Drago divulged these things to me in order to clear his name.
It’s an angle to use at least.
What if someone on the inside, without Drago knowing, is planting drugs in with his shipments? Maybe his father is still pulling strings from Italy without D knowing.
Anything is a possibility, so why won’t Drago let me in?
Gabe’s whimpers bring me out of my racing thoughts as I approach the door. His restless whines are increasing by the second, making me second-guess my decision to take a baby strolling around the zoo for over three hours. Ms. Lincoln wasn’t thrilled about the idea herself, but she didn’t say anything. I could see it in her eyes though. She wanted to tell me not to take him.
“Shh, baby, give me just a few more minutes. I promise a cozy blanket and your crib are coming up. How does that sound?”
Like he understands what you’re saying, Brianna.
Once I dig the keys out of my pocket, I unlock the door and let us inside.
“Almost there, Gabe.”
Turning around, I close the door and flip the lock on the deadbolt. I don’t live in a bad neighborhood, thanks to my father, but perhaps being a cop and seeing all the things I have over the years makes me take extra precautions. And the couple of months I’ve had Gabriel definitely has made me more aware of things and amped up my already alert self.
I place the bags on the small dining table. Ms. Lincoln’s groceries will have to wait. I have a tuckered-out baby boy to put down for a nap.
His hand tightens around the sleeve of my shirt making it taut as he cries out.
This boy pulls on my heartstrings at every turn. I realize now I kept him out far too long, but it’s not like he came with a manual. Not that it makes me feel any better. It doesn’t. I still feel like crap.
“I’m sorry, sweet man. We’re home now and your bed is coming right up.”
Just as soon as I get you changed into a clean diaper and into your jammies, I think while unclipping my holster and weapon, placing them both in the drawer between my couch and recliner.
If he wasn’t so tired and cranky, I’d go ahead and give him his nightly bath, but I’ll just do that later tonight.
I ease him down onto the makeshift changing table, which is actually a cheap, used dresser I bought at the flea market a few blocks from my building. It has a foam pad on the top and works just fine.
The cop in me hates buying things from places like flea markets nowadays, because I’m always wondering if it’s stolen merchandise. As a kid, I loved going to them with my mom even though she rarely bought anything, and we always had to go when my father wasn’t around. It was our little secret—our mother-daughter bonding time. It was something that was just ours.
He didn’t approve of shopping at what he considered lower class establishments. Kind of like the way he views my job, I guess. Everything is first class when it comes to Robert Andrews.
I miss my mom every day, so when I do go, it’s like a piece of her is with me for a short period of time. I also don’t make a lot of money, so when it comes to extra expenses—Gabriel—I have to bargain shop.
He gives me a smile after I’ve secured the last taped strap to his diaper. In turn, I give him one back and then bend down to kiss his bare tummy.
He’s the most precious thing in the world to me. I’m not exactly sure when that happened, but it did, and I can’t deny that.
I forgo putting any other
clothes on him. He gets hot when he sleeps, so typically he’s good in just a diaper with his blue blanket and a stuffed animal.
The boy loves plush toys of any kind just like I did when I was little.
Picking him up, I squeeze him lightly to my chest as I turn and step to his crib, then gently place him in it.
Once I have him covered and his monkey tucked in his hand, I leave. He’s a great sleeper. I cannot complain after the things I’ve witnessed Alana and Jackson have to deal with when it comes to their youngest, Carly, when she was a baby. Gabe is nothing like that. He’s a perfect angel compared to my niece as a baby.
I leave a crack in his door after I exit so I’m able to hear him better. I don’t have one of those baby monitors. It wasn’t something I purchased because I didn’t see it as a necessity at the time and I wasn’t sure how long he would be staying with me. It’s not like my condo is big, so I can hear him no matter where I am.
I really hadn’t planned on him being here this long. Not that the past few months feels long—they don’t. It doesn’t feel long enough if I’m being honest with myself.
Walking across the hall and into my bedroom, I kick off my flats, followed by removing my slacks ready to get into a hot shower. But before I reach for the first button on my blouse, I hear a noise.
My head turns automatically to listen. It’s the door. The door I locked less than twenty minutes ago is being unlocked.
There are only two people aside from myself that have a key to my condo. Alana being one, but I know she’s in San Francisco. She and I talked just this morning. She would have told me if she were coming down here.
The other is Ms. Lincoln and only because she keeps Gabriel. I wanted her to have access to his things in case I forgot to pack something he needed, or she runs out because I didn’t pack enough.
She has never let herself in before when I’m home. But then, maybe she doesn’t know I’m back. Odd, though, since I have Gabriel.
Leaving my bedroom, I walk briskly down the hall.
“Ms. Lincoln?” I call out.
She doesn’t answer.
Dirty Blue: Dirty Justice - Book One Page 21