by Nalini Singh
And that, Indigo thought, was even more of a problem than the control issues of the dominant males. “You listen to me,” she said, cupping the girl’s cheek, able to feel the soft down of youth against her callused palm, “we soldiers are the brawn, the muscle. It’s the maternal females like you who are the heart of the pack. You’re the glue that holds us together. Far as I’m concerned, you’re the strongest part of SnowDancer.”
Silvia blinked those long, silky lashes, leaning her cheek a little into Indigo’s touch. “I . . . my mom said . . . but it’s nice to hear it from you.”
Smiling, Indigo hugged her, and they walked over to join the rest of the group. Twelve kids between the ages of thirteen and seventeen. All simply needing a little bit of extra attention to get them back on the right track. “Everyone ready?”
A sea of nods.
“I thought Drew was coming,” said a slender young male with a thick mop of pale brown hair and a voice that was far too deep for his scrawny body. It’d be perfect when Brace grew into those shoulders, but right now, he tended to flush whenever he spoke up.
“He can catch up.” Okay, so maybe she wasn’t over the snippy. “Follow me.”
She set a steady pace—not so easy that they got bored, not so hard that they couldn’t keep up—taking them up into an unusual part of the mountains, one of such exquisite beauty it could make the heart stop, but an area even the pack rarely visited because it was more difficult to get to than so many other gorgeous spots. However, right now, it had the benefit of being almost entirely clear of snow, while comparable areas in the southern section of the Sierra remained packed with the white stuff.
They stopped for snacks around midmorning. No sign of Drew.
If he left her alone all weekend, she’d strip his hide. “Come on,” she said, hoping her inner snarl didn’t show. “We’re not even halfway yet.”
Pained groans, but she knew they were faking. She’d felt their exhilaration as they tested their bodies, as they loosened up enough to speak to her, ask her questions. So she upped the speed, knowing they could take it, that they’d be proud of it. But they were still exhausted when they walked over the edge of a hill and to the spot where she intended to break for lunch . . . to find the plateau set with a huge picnic blanket holding fruit, drinks, sandwiches, cake, and, of course, potato chips.
But it wasn’t only food waiting for them.
Drew bent at the waist, a checkered tea towel folded dramatically over his arm. “Welcome to my kitchen.”
Indigo clenched her stomach muscles against the shock of seeing him face-to-face after having mentally eviscerated him for most of the journey. The juveniles had no such qualms. Cheering, they descended upon the feast as if every single one of them hadn’t gorged on trail bars and dried fruit a bare couple of hours ago.
Drew skirted the plundering horde and walked across to join her. “I set up a blanket for you over there. Thought you could do with a break.”
Her wolf was more than suspicious of his solicitude after the recent awkwardness between them. Or maybe, she thought with a silent growl, this was all part of his “let’s just pretend it never happened” policy. “This is why you abandoned me with twelve teenagers?” She folded her arms, refusing to give in to the urge to fix the wind-tousled mess of his hair. That was something she might have done before. When he’d been a trusted friend.
Reaching up, Drew flicked his ear. “Big ears.”
Glancing over his shoulder, she saw their charges were involved in the food, but he had a point. So she didn’t argue when he urged her to follow him down the slope a little and onto a small shelf of land out of sight and downwind of the others.
The picnic blanket waiting there was smaller, striped with blue and white, and lying in a dappled patch of sunlight. A collapsible picnic basket sat a little to the side, while the blanket itself was set with small platters holding plump berries, sliced chicken, fluffy bread, what looked like a fresh salad, and two bottles of water that sparkled in the sun.
Indigo’s wolf liked the idea of food, but neither it nor she was about to let Drew off the hook. “I’m waiting for an answer.”
“I knew you could handle the juveniles”—easy words with no apparent undertone—“and I figured I’d better run up here and check the trail in case of possible rock slides from the storm. Far as I know, no one’s been up here since.”
Damn, she should’ve thought of that. “You should’ve told me.”
“I left a message on your phone.”
Scowling, Indigo pulled her cell phone out of her pocket. Double damn. “I forgot to charge it.” Still angry—though it was irrational and had nothing whatsoever to do with his actions today—she finally shrugged off her pack and took a seat on the blanket.
Drew sat in silence as she made herself a sandwich, then he made one for himself. The air up here was crisp, fresh, and somehow freeing. She felt her shoulders loosen up, her emotions turn mellow in spite of her vivid, almost uncomfortable awareness of the male wolf sitting on the other side of the picnic basket. When he reached for the basket, she was curious enough to glance over. “What else have you got?”
A smile that lit up his eyes to a blinding shade, making her suck in a startled breath. She wasn’t obstinate without reason—she could admit Drew had a way about him. He’d always used it to make her smile before. But she wasn’t ready to be charmed today.
Then he opened the bakery box in his hand to reveal a slice of New York cheesecake. “Since I ruined the experience of the other one.” Putting it on the blanket between them, he placed several fresh berries on top and nudged it her way. “It’s all for you.”
Indigo’s heart threatened to melt, but she held firm. Sure, he looked woebegone, but she’d known him far too long to fall for that. “Thanks.” Taking the cheesecake, she picked up the fork and ate a bite, watching as Drew packed up the rest of the stuff and moved the basket so he could sidle up right next to her. “Watch it,” she muttered.
“I’m sorry.”
Startled, she glanced at him—to see that those always-laughing eyes had gone truly solemn, his expression intent. “About what?” Her wolf had to be certain. Neither part of her liked shades of gray.
“About the way I acted the other night.” A sheepish smile. “You were right. I was high on adrenaline—I should’ve crashed instead of hitting on you.”
Suspicion whispered through her veins. There was something he wasn’t saying, she thought, but she couldn’t quite figure out the loophole. “Why didn’t you say this earlier?”
“I wanted to do it right—and you were too mad to listen.”
Yes, she admitted, she had been. Her sense of betrayal had been—she could now admit—out of all proportion to what he’d actually done. Except that it had been him, a wolf she’d given her deepest trust.
He nudged her shoulder with his own when she stayed silent. “I hate that I’m worried about touching you now,” he said. “And I know it’s my fault.” A pause. “Indy, come on. Do you know how early I had to get up to go get your cheesecake?” Big blue eyes that looked as guileless as a newborn pup’s.
She knew half of it was an act—but her wolf liked his playfulness. She always had. And . . . he had apologized. Flat out. No reservations. Most dominant wolves—and Drew was categorically a dominant, for all that he fooled people into thinking otherwise—had trouble with the s word, even when they were utterly in the wrong. Maybe he hadn’t been avoiding her because he was sulking, she decided; maybe he had actually been figuring out how to apologize. As a dominant herself, she understood exactly how hard it had to have been for him.
So she scooped up a bite of the cheesecake and lifted the fork to his mouth. He accepted it, a smile creasing his face. Then he nuzzled at her neck, and her wolf allowed it . . . welcomed it.
That was when Indigo realized she’d hated not being able to touch Drew, too.
Andrew fisted a hand on the blanket behind Indigo, drawing the rainstorm and steel scent of her into his
lungs. His wolf was starved for it, rolled around in it as if it was drunk, unable to get enough. When she didn’t push him away, he allowed himself another precious, excruciating second to indulge in the silken heat of her skin before raising his head.
She lifted another bite of cheesecake in his direction. Giving a huge sigh, he held out a hand. “No, no. I told you it was all for you.”
A tug of her lips. “You’re terrible, you know that.” She put the fork to his lips.
He parted them, let her feed him, the small intimacy making his wolf want to sing in thrumming pleasure. “That’s why you love me.”
A shake of her head, but her lips curved upward, her eyes shimmering with laughter. “How did Riley ever put up with you when you were a child?”
“You know Riley. Nothing bothers him.” Except Mercy, Andrew thought. His brother, the Wall, had fallen. And so would Andrew’s smart, stubborn Indigo. “I’d do something stupid, he wouldn’t yell, wouldn’t snarl, he’d just dump me in the lake. Rinse and repeat until I got the point.”
Indigo snickered, and it made his wolf go motionless, cock its head. The sound of her happiness . . . yeah, he’d do anything for it.
“Too bad you’re too big to be dumped in the lake now.”
Lying back on the blanket with his arms folded beneath his head, he stared up at the leaves outlined against the excruciating blue of the sky. It was a stunning beauty, but it couldn’t hold his attention. Indigo’s scent, her warmth so close, her hip brushing his, it scored him to the soul. “Oh, I dunno,” he said, keeping it light because there was no way he wanted to spook her again, “he did it a few weeks ago.”
He all but saw Indigo’s wolf prick up its ears. Twisting her body, she leaned over to put the empty bakery box beside the picnic basket, then placed one hand on his chest, gave a little nudge. “Tell me.”
Her touch locked the air in his throat, threatened to steal his words, his soul. Indigo nudged again when he didn’t answer. “I’ll find out anyway, you know.”
Glad she’d misunderstood his silence, he made a face at her. “All I said was that he should shave.”
Leaning down until her nose almost touched his, she narrowed her eyes, “Uh-huh. Which part of him did you suggest he shave?”
CHAPTER 12
He grinned, his wolf delighted with her. “His head.” When Indigo touched her nose to his, he dared raise one of his hands and play with strands of her hair, her ponytail having tumbled over her shoulder. “I might have hinted that he was turning old and gray. Oh, and maybe losing his hair anyway.”
Indigo’s body shook. “You know newly mated men are touchy about things like that.” But her hand clenched on his T-shirt before she fell away and onto her back beside him, the sound of her laughter husky and open. “God, I wish I’d seen his face.”
Andrew wanted nothing more than to raise himself on his elbow, reach down and stroke his hand over Indigo’s face. He’d hold her with his fingers on her jaw as he took her smiling lips with his own, indulging once more in the taste he hadn’t been able to get out of his mind since the night of the storm.
His body tensed, blood pumping hot and hard. Gritting his teeth, he bent one leg to hide the blunt evidence of his reaction, even as he said, “I couldn’t believe he fell for it.” His brother was in the prime of his life, one of the most powerful wolves in the pack. And he was assuredly in no danger of losing his hair.
“He’s not going to think completely straight for a while,” Indigo said, “but the mating dance is the worst part. Men go a little nuts during that time. I remember when Elias met Yuki. He turned into his evil twin, snarling at anyone who so much as looked her way.”
Andrew couldn’t imagine even-tempered Elias snarling at anyone. But as he himself knew, it was hard to be rational when your whole being was focused on a woman to the extent that the need to touch her skin, to draw the scent of her deep into your lungs, became a fever in your blood. “I think the natives are getting restless.”
“Yeah, I hear them.” Sitting up, she slapped him lightly on the chest. “I’ll go help them clean up, pack up the leftovers for later.”
“I’ll take care of things here.” Rising, he watched her walk away, a tall, strong woman with contentment humming through her stubborn bones—because he’d apologized, because she thought he’d turned the clock back to the way things had always been.
His hand fisted again, but not in anger. In determination.
They made camp late that afternoon. Since the weather was holding and the night sky promised to be beautiful beyond compare, Andrew suggested they lay their sleeping bags out on the ground. “It’s not damp anymore,” he said to Indigo, having tested the earth. “Doesn’t look like it’ll rain any tonight, either. And this area’s only logged the odd snowfall the past few weeks, so we should be good on that score.”
Indigo rolled her eyes. “You’ve clearly never been a teenage girl.”
“Huh?” He looked out at the kids, who’d collapsed against trees or on the earth. “They’re all good kids. And they’re changelings.” No matter what their place in the hierarchy, all wolves could survive in the forest with no amenities whatsoever.
Shaking her head, Indigo said, “I can’t believe I’m having to explain this to the man who knows everyone and has probably had dinner with more people in the pack than me, Hawke, and Riley combined.”
“Don’t rub it in.” He scowled at the teasing—though his wolf was spinning around in untrammeled joy that she was playing with him. “So?”
“Haven’t you noticed the glances passing between male and female?” She raised an eyebrow, nudging his attention toward a certain pairing. “Sure, it’s no big deal to be naked when you shift—but we’re human, too. No teenage girl is comfortable with her body. Especially with a boy she’s interested in looking on.”
Andrew rubbed his jaw, aware he’d missed the signals passing between the kids because he’d been so focused on Indigo. “Huh. Cute.”
“It might be. But there’ll be no monkey business on my watch.”
He grinned at her stern expression. “I bet you were confident about your body when you were a teen.”
“You’d lose that bet.” Snorting, she cupped her hands around her mouth. “Come on, boys and girls, get the tents up! Then we’ll play a game.”
“What’s the prize?” was the cheeky response from Harley, who at sixteen was still fluctuating so wildly in his control—and resulting dominance—that no one knew where to put him in the hierarchy. Hawke was hoping that two days of concentrated time with the pack’s dominants would decide the matter one way or another.
Indigo grinned. “An extra marshmallow in your hot chocolate—if you’re lucky. Now snap to it.”
Grumbling at her “slave driving,” they began to put up their tents in pairs, as they would all be sharing. Indigo had worried about that with Drew, but now that they were back to normal, they’d do the same. It made her wolf happy. Like most SnowDancers, it preferred sleeping with Pack to a lonely bed. It was only the human half that chose privacy. But tonight with Drew, both sides would be satisfied.
Drew was already bending down to pull out the tent from where it was attached to the bottom of his pack. “I can’t believe it,” he muttered, continuing their earlier conversation. “What did you have to worry about as a teenager?”
“Oh, please.” She helped him spread the groundsheet on a level section of earth facing the other tents and hunted out the high-strength pegs as he unfolded the whisper-thin fabric of the tent itself. “I grew to my full height at fourteen.” Five feet ten in her bare feet, Indigo loved her height. Now.
“But,” she continued as they pegged down the edges, “I didn’t have any curves. None. All I had were clown feet I kept tripping over, and a body that was all right angles. I felt like a giant in the land of little people. A flat-chested giant with elbows of doom.”
Chuckling, Drew fed through one of the flexible struts that snapped the tent upright without th
e need for a central support pole. “I was short at fourteen. Really short.”
Indigo thought back, tried to remember. But she’d been eighteen, and fourteen-year-old boys hadn’t merited much attention. “That must’ve been tough.”
“You have no idea.” He watched as she fed through the second, cross-supporting strut. “Riley was already all manly, and I couldn’t even see over the tops of my shoes.” A mournful expression.
Laughing, she finished her task and opened the flaps so he could throw their packs inside. “Ah, well, we both grew into our bodies.”
“In my case, I grew out of it,” Drew corrected. “Shot up like a pine tree the summer between my fourteenth and fifteenth year. Unfortunately, I continued to lack any manliness whatsoever.”
Reaching out, Indigo squeezed his upper arm, the skin of her fingertips a little rough from all the work she did combat training their young dominants. “Well, you bloomed nicely.”
It took every ounce of control Andrew had to keep his tone light when all he wanted to do was to strip himself naked and have her stroke those capable hands over every straining inch of his body. Thank God his T-shirt covered the hard ridge of his cock as he took a seat beside her, his arms braced loosely on raised knees. “Thanks,” he said when she looked to him for a response. “That’s what Meadow Sanderson said when she divested me of my virginity.”
“Meadow . . . hmm I don’t remember her.”
“Human,” he said, recalling the lushly sensual girl who’d tied him up in knots over the course of a long, hazy summer. “She dumped me for the quarterback after she’d played my body like a banjo. So sad.”
“I bet.”
“I’m serious. I was heartbroken.”
“For how long?”
“A whole week.” An eternity in the life of a teenage boy. “Then I realized other girls had noticed my new manliness, too, and the rest, as they say, is history.” Adoring girls had never been hard for him. He liked the way they smelled, the way their bodies curved, the way they laughed. But that blissful year, for the first time in his life, those girls had adored him back. “What about you?”