I nodded and approached a cupboard and pulled out a sachet of chocolate before I filled a mug with milk and made Red a hot chocolate.
Ava gazed at me, her eyes soft and warm as a small smile lifted her lips and I turned away from her.
I didn’t want her to see how I felt about Red. I didn’t want to see it, but I knew it was there, underneath the surface, just waiting for the moment I would let it free.
Chapter 17
Layla
I woke just as the sun rose, its rays streaming through Lucas’s bedroom blinds and I rubbed my eyes against the brightness.
Mentally, I checked each area on my body and groaned as I realised how sore I still felt.
Mason’s mum had been wonderful, so gentle and kind as she examined me and Sara had held my hand all the way through the invasive treatment.
The shame I had felt when she had discovered just how brutal Diablo had been was awful, but she had continued chatting about her latest holiday, as if there was nothing strange about inserting a medical tampon into someone’s lady parts whilst you gossiped casually.
I pulled myself up into a sitting position and my gaze landed on a sleeping Lucas in an armchair at the side of the bed.
He was wearing just jeans, opened at the fly and the small dusting of hair trailing up to his navel caught my attention, not in a sexual way, but just how perfect and trimmed it looked.
You are very strange Lay, I admitted to myself.
His face was relaxed as he slumbered peacefully, his long eyelashes rested on his cheekbones and it suddenly occurred to me how beautiful this man really was, in a manly way of course but his features were absolutely stunning.
His short trimmed beard finished his masculine beauty and his deep eyebrows outlined his fiery blue eyes.
His strong muscled chest lifted rhythmically with each of his dozing breaths and as though he sensed me looking at him his eyes snapped open and he shot forward in his chair, his gaze locked on me as he scanned me up and down as if checking I was still in one piece.
“Hey” I smiled softly.
He rubbed his palms over his face and blinked a couple of times before he smiled back. “Morning beautiful, how are you feeling?”
Had he just called me beautiful? I didn’t feel bloody beautiful, in fact I felt smelly and dirty but I nodded a little in reply.
He stood and then came to settle on the edge of the bed and reached out to me, I flinched a little but he smiled gently and brushed a stray strand of hair off my face “I won’t ever hurt you Red, ever. You’re too exquisite and precious to spoil.”
My eyes widened as he leaned in and placed a delicate kiss on my forehead then pushed himself upwards and walked into his bathroom and I heard him start to run a bath.
I was too stunned by his words to move and I was still sat immobile as he exited the bathroom and walked into the living area of his apartment.
He came back in a while later with a tray donned with juice, tea, toast and sliced fruit. I stared at him as he smiled and placed it on the bed beside me before he went back to the bathroom and turned off the taps.
I timidly took a sip of the tea as he strolled over to his wardrobe and pulled out a pair of joggers and a t-shirt. He held it up and inspected it for sizing as he glanced over my body and then back to the t-shirt. Shrugging, he pursed his lips before folding it back up and exchanged it with another.
He seemed happier with this one as he nodded to himself and placed it on top of the sports trousers before he opened a drawer inside his closet and pulled out a pair of boxer shorts.
I lifted an eyebrow at him as he regarded me silently, his features soft and affectionate as he held up the briefs to me.
I shrugged but nodded in agreement, continuing with our silent theme, and he returned my shrug with one of his own before he placed them atop the pile of fill-in clothes for me.
He disappeared back into the wardrobe and pulled out a sweatshirt, a plain grey number with a hood and he squinted at it before conceding and joined it with the rest.
He walked back over to me, picked up a blackberry from the bowl and popped it into my mouth as he kissed my head and then left me to it.
“Hmmm” I murmured as I gobbled down a piece of apple and went to enjoy the bath Lucas had so lovingly prepared for me.
I was still smiling at his actions as I sank into the depths of his huge colossal ancient tub and a grin lit my face when the mirror steamed up and a finger drawing of a heart with a smiley face in the middle appeared in the midst of the condensation.
I did not acknowledge the little flutter in my own heart, but I was still grinning like a Cheshire cat as I pulled on his clothes and took a deep pull of their scent, as my mind still held the vision of the sketched heart.
***
I was rolling up the sleeves of the sweatshirt as I entered his living space and I found Lucas sat at the large dining table, reading a morning paper and I plonked my ass into one of the chairs opposite him.
He folded up his paper and placed it on the table as he cocked his head at me and grinned “Okay?”
I nodded and smiled nervously as a deep blush covered my face, my embarrassment at the previous day’s events finally catching up with me.
“I’ll just…” I stuttered, gesturing to the coffee pot as I swallowed harshly “…and then I’ll get out of your hair.”
Lucas scowled at me and then shook his head slowly “Not a chance, Red.”
My hand shook as I poured the coffee into a cup and I lifted my eyes to his to detect his meaning.
“You’re not leaving my side until that bastard is dealt with” he snarled and I squinted before I realised the coffee was now pouring over the brim of my cup and all over the table.
“Oh shit, I’m so sorry” I stammered as I grabbed a cloth napkin and dabbed at the mess but it seemed to just puddle all over the table and my anger surfaced at the stupid chaos. “God damn it” I yelled as I frantically mopped at the brown disaster.
It wasn’t until Lucas pulled me against his chest that I realised the long drawn out whine I could hear was coming out of my mouth.
“Ssshhh Red, it’s okay. You’re safe” he whispered in my ear and I pulled back and shook my head rapidly.
“I’ll never be fucking safe until I’m dead” I hissed at him.
He nibbled furiously on his lips and his eyes darkened fractionally “Don’t Red… just, don’t even…”
He swallowed harshly and turned away from me as I glared at him “You know fuck all Lucas!” I spat at him.
I needed to distance our relationship to keep him protected. He would never be safe as long as he was near me and I knew I had to break my own heart to keep this man’s still beating.
I could see the clench of his fists at his sides as he stopped the response he so wanted to bark at me, and I frenziedly searched his room for a phone.
I spotted it over the other side and I briskly planted one foot in front of the other to get to it before he turned around.
I wasn’t fast enough as his huge hand circled the phone just as I picked it up “No fucking way, Red. You are staying here.”
“Why don’t you fucking listen?” I asked with acid in my voice.
His eyebrows rose at my vehemence but he didn’t counter a reply as he continued to lock me down with just his furious gaze.
“Let me go Lucas, please” I tried pleading with him but he remained strong and shook his head as he stepped into me and backed me against the wall.
“If I have to fucking hogtie you Red, I will. You and that fucking smart mouth of yours are starting to mean something to me, and I’ll be damned if I’m gonna let you go now that I have you close, just because you are frightened of what will happen to me if that dickless piece of shit comes looking for me.”
My jaw dropped and a lump formed in my throat as I deciphered his words in my frazzled brain. “But…”
His finger rested against my lips and stopped the words from becoming vocal as he le
aned further into me and rested his forehead against mine.
“Don’t question it Red, just accept it. Accepting it will make it easier, make it real and then you might start believing me when I tell you that I’m falling in love with you.”
A funny choked sound stuck in my throat and I shook my head at him. “You can’t, no… NO! Damn you!” I bellowed as I pushed harshly at him.
He reared back and looked at me with a puzzled expression but I still kept on, still ploughed straight through his heart to get to his soul and destroy it. “No, you just can’t. I… I don’t do love Lucas, I’m incapable of… anything. You need to take back those words… NOW!” I snapped at him as he stood pale and hurt.
My heart was crumbling at my own cruel words but I needed to keep him safe, needed to break all his feelings for me so he would be out of harm's way and being brutal was the only way I knew how to stop his affection for me.
He swallowed harshly as pain and discomfort became visual on his handsome face, and he sucked on his lips as my spiteful declaration slapped him straight on.
He nodded once, turned and walked out, quietly closing the door behind him when he went.
I sank to the floor in desperation.
Why now? Why the hell now?
“You cruel bastard!” I shouted into the heavens as my fury rose at the harshness of it all.
I knew I had fell for Lucas with everything I was, through to my very soul and this was why I had to break both our hearts to keep him alive.
If Diablo found out, he would make him pay; painfully, violently and so utterly ruthlessly that I knew I would never survive the devastation of Lucas going through anything like that.
I eventually lifted myself off the floor, and realising I didn’t have any cash on me for a cab, I explored Lucas’s apartment for a pair of shoes.
I succeeded to find a pair of trainers that were three sizes too big, but I managed to hold them on my feet as I pulled the laces to a tight harsh knot.
I found a piece of paper in his study and wrote a simple ‘Sorry’ before I planted an invisible kiss on it and propped it up against the whisky bottle, knowing that would be what he would go for first, then I quietly closed the door behind me and made my way home, leaving my heart behind on the floor of Lucas’s lounge.
Chapter 18
Lucas
I palmed the wall of my entrance hall to hold my highly drunken self up as the brunette beside me giggled like a fucking hyena.
Her laugh had been steadily grating my brain for the last two hours but she had a firm arse, so it was worth the suffering when I knew I would manage to fuck that piece of ass shortly.
She suddenly pushed me back against the wall and covered my mouth with her own as her hands grabbed a fistful of my hair.
She tasted of metal and vinegar and I squinted but held my breath and determinedly kissed her back until she was undoing the button on my jeans and frantically pulling them down my hips with my shorts.
She leered up at me as she sunk down my body and I groaned and closed my eyes when she sank her mouth around my dick.
She was a little too wet and I was only half mast but I shrugged it off and relaxed into the action of her mouth sliding rapidly up and down my length. “Slow down a bit” I urged but she didn’t seem to hear me as she continued her race for my orgasm.
I knew it wasn’t gonna happen with the way she went at me, her action reminding me of a pneumatic drill pounding at its challenge and I took hold of her head and tried to slow her down.
She wasn’t relenting as she forced her own control and persisted to hammer at me so I pulled her up, giving up with the oral as I walked her across the hall until her back hit the wall.
“Put your legs around me” I ordered and she did just that and then I remembered the condom and told her get down again.
She huffed loudly and told me we didn’t need one, but I glowered at her and she shrugged whilst she bit her nails as I scoured my wallet for a rubber.
The loud splinter of her nails made me shiver and erupt in goose bumps. “Quit with the nails” I growled and she smirked and deliberately took a chunk out of her thumb nail.
“Fuck this!” I spat as I grabbed her upper arms, turned her towards the door and propelled her forwards at speed until she was over the threshold.
“Go fucking home!” I barked at her as I slammed the door in her shocked face and made my way over to my only friend… the whisky bottle.
My heart stuttered when I saw Red’s graceful script on the small white note.
“Sorry. Yeah, Red!” I scoffed bitterly as I screwed up the apology and threw it into the nearby bin as I downed a mouthful of the liquor.
My eyes scanned the room and then came to rest on the wastebasket as I tapped my fingers on my glass and scolded myself as I leant back in and removed the note, smoothing out the crumpled paper between my fingers.
“You sad twat!”
I slammed my glass on the cabinet and wobbled into my bedroom and flopped face down onto the bed.
“Oh Christ” I murmured when all I could smell was Red’s tantalising natural scent. She reminded me of strawberries and vanilla and I took a huge inhalation of the delicious fragrance and groaned when my dick sprung to life.
I rolled onto my back and lay my arm across my face in an attempt to block out Red’s stunning smile. The vision of the soft curl of her plump lips as her eyes twinkled brightly caused every single blood cell in my body down into my already sturdy cock.
But it wasn’t just the arousal that surged through my body; there was a pain and emptiness in the flow of my cells and I swallowed back the emotion.
“You do not love this girl Lucas, you just think you do to get into her knickers” I told myself, and then I laughed, loudly and bitterly at my words “Yeah sure, you pathetic bastard!”
It was like she had penetrated the wall around my heart and whilst she was in there, I built the bloody thing back up and now there was no escape, she was trapped forever inside me, eternally to be loved by me.
Shaking my head in frustration, I lifted myself off the bed and went into the bathroom for a leak but halted at the doorway as I spotted the silk robe I had brought Red back in.
I stalked over to it slowly and picked it up, frowning at the smear of blood on the back of it as I fingered the soft material that was covered in her scent.
I swallowed at the sight of the blood and then it suddenly occurred to me why she had rejected me tonight. She was scared of what would happen, she was terrified of the outcome of a relationship with me and she was afraid for me because of Diablo.
And then it slapped me in the face.
Holy Fuck, she loved me back!
The realisation hit me like a fucking freight truck and my heart beat wildly as I dragged on my shoes and locked my door behind me.
No more Red, no more fucking running!
Chapter 19
Layla
I refused to let the tears fall, locked them deep inside because I knew, if I allowed them then they would take advantage of the freedom and just keep running, never seizing for a single minute.
The liberation I would permit them would be the final crack in my already crumbling armour.
So I kept busy for the day and now finally, nightfall meant I could shut myself off from my poor pathetic excuse of a life. I could close my eyes on the world and dream, pretend everything was happy and hunky-dory.
Sara had gone out for the night with friends after much argument about leaving me alone but once she had left, I relished my time alone.
It was my time to reflect and decide what to do next; hide, run or stand proud and battle it out, or the final choice… go back to him.
Could I do that? I knew it would be the end of me, but it would mean Lucas would be safe and to protect him I would take whatever Diablo dished out, take it and smile while I fucking took it, knowing the man I loved was unharmed and possibly happy.
Placing the mug of milk and chocolate into
the microwave, I proceeded to turn off the main lights and switched on each of the little nightlights I had around the house, in case I ventured from my bed during my unsettled nightmares.
I grabbed my mug and made my way to my luxury, my haven - my bed, and flipped on the small lamp and the TV, knowing I would need a diversion to help me drop off and once I had picked an old classic movie, I settled myself down to the oblivion night offered.
About halfway through the film I frowned and glanced at the clock when a knock came at the door.
12:46am. What the hell?
It was him, it had to be. Who else would be here at this time of night?
I pulled up the duvet around my chin, like it would protect me from Diablo’s wrath, when the knocking persisted and I took some huge steadying gulps and desperately tried to calm myself down.
I jumped a mile when my phone trilled from my bedside table and I peered at it timidly like it was a pre-set bomb and anyone who rang it would set off the timer.
‘Lucas’ displayed on the screen and I hesitantly answered it, not sure which of his moods would be dominant tonight.
“Let me in, Red.”
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