The Unbearable Lightness of Dragons ld-2

by Katie MacAlister

  The man put his hands on his hips, his lips twisting sourly. “I can’t tell you how much I hate human form!”

  Chapter Six

  “ I’ve never been so mortified in all my life, and that includes the first time I was kicked out of the Court of Divine Blood for trying to get busy with the Sovereign’s favorite collie, and that little misunderstanding with a male boggart who thought I was into bondage. Change me back!”

  Aisling whapped the demon on its butt as May and I peered from the darkened room we’d climbed into, through the slightly opened door, to a lit hallway. “Hush, Jim! We’ll deal with your situation once we have Thala out of here.”

  “Order me to change again! Maybe the first time didn’t take because you weren’t bossy enough, not that I believed I’d ever have a reason to say that, but still, Abaddon might have frozen over or something equally unbelievable.”

  “I think you look quite handsome, Jim,” Cyrene told him. “And you have a really nice butt.”

  “Man, I just knew this was going to happen! Last time I got forced into human form, there were chicks all over me,” Jim grumbled as it adjusted the sweater I’d given it, and Aisling’s jacket, both of which it had tied around its waist as sort of a makeshift loincloth. “How am I going to suck Cecile’s ears when I’m in this form, huh? Huh?”

  “Jim, I know you’re upset—” Aisling started to say, but fell silent at a gesture from May, who hurriedly closed the door, counting under her breath.

  “Guards?” Cyrene asked almost inaudibly.

  “Two of them,” May answered, her ear pressed to the door. “You’re sure Drake said Thala was on the third floor?”

  “Positive,” Aisling answered, jerking when a sudden buzzing started about her person. “Sorry! I thought I turned my phone off. Thank god I left it on vibrate. . . . Oh, no. It’s Drake. I’m going to have to take this, ladies. Jim, go with them and be helpful. Yes, that’s an order. Drake? Hi. What’s up?” Aisling moved off to stand near the window.

  “Let’s go,” May said after peeking through the door. “We have less than a minute before the shift change is over.”

  We left Aisling speaking softly to her dragon and hurried up thickly carpeted stairs until we reached the third floor. We hovered uncomfortably on the landing while May slipped into the shadow world to reconnoiter, returning almost immediately to urge us forward. “We’re out of time. We’ve got to make this quick.”

  “I’m setting my Taser to stun,” Cyrene said, fussing with her gadget as she followed behind us. We hustled down a vacant hallway, stopping in front of a door that bore obvious wards.

  “We need Aisling,” May said, eyeing them. “Unless you can do something with them, Ysolde?”

  I glanced at Jim, who glared back at me, its arms crossed over its bare chest. “Er . . . I think that might not be as helpful as we’d all hope. I can go back and get . . . Never mind, here she comes.”

  Aisling all but ran down the hallway to us, her face pale. “Did you find her?”

  “She’s here, but there are wards, and Ysolde is understandably hesitant to try to undo them,” May answered. “What’s wrong?”

  “Everything. We’ve got to get her out of here, right now. Drake found out I was gone, and it was a short hop from that to what we’re doing. He had his jet turn around while they were over the Channel. He’s furious, and no doubt calling up all the dragons in the area to rout us out and safeguard Thala.” While she spoke, she worked on the wards, finally giving up to simply force her arm through them to open the door. In the dimly lit room sat a woman in an armchair, holding a book and looking up as Aisling, grunting and swearing, pushed herself through the wards into the room.

  “Hi. You’re Thala, right? I’m Aisling Grey. We’re here to get you out, but we need to be quick because Drake knows what’s going down.”

  The woman, of medium height with coppery brown hair, stood up slowly, confusion fading from her face at Drake’s name. “Did Baltic send you?” she asked.

  “Er . . . not really. I’m afraid we don’t have time for you to collect your things. I’m also afraid I’m going to have to shove you through the wards, and it may pinch a little. I wish I could make this easier for you, but needs must and all that.”

  “Understatement of the year,” Jim said with yet another pointed look at me.

  “I said I was sorry,” I told it quietly. “I don’t know what happened to change you, but I’m really, really sorry, all right?”

  While I was apologizing, Aisling pushed Thala through the wards, the latter’s face distorting wildly as the ward fought to keep her from passing. But Aisling isn’t a Guardian savant for nothing, and after only a few painful moments, she and Thala emerged from the grip of the ward, both of them panting as they collected themselves.

  “Thank—” As Thala turned to thank Aisling, her gaze fell on me. Her eyes widened in shock for a few seconds, before filling with a fury unlike anything I’d ever seen. “Ysolde!” she hissed.

  I took a step back at such blatant hostility. “Hello. I’m afraid I don’t remember if we’ve met before.”

  “You live? How? You were beheaded! How did you survive that?” She grabbed my arm in a painful grip, shaking it as she spoke.

  I jerked my arm back, rubbing the bruises she left. “I didn’t. I was resurrected.”

  Her anger seemed to grow. “Who resurrected you!” she almost screamed.

  Immediately both Aisling and May hushed her, glancing nervously down the hallway.

  “This can wait. We have to get out of here. Now,” May said authoritatively. “We’ll go out the way we came.”

  “I’m not going anywhere with her,” Thala said, her face suffused with color. I thought for a moment she was going to spit at me.

  “She’s the one who arranged for your release,” Aisling pointed out.

  “Why are you so angry with me? Did we know each other?” I asked, confused and hurt by her reaction to me. “Is it something to do with Baltic?”

  “We really don’t have time for this,” May said, her head cocked to catch noises from the stairwell. “I hear more voices than I should. We need to move now.”

  “This way,” Aisling said, pointing toward the hall behind Thala.

  She crossed her arms and sent me a look that said in no uncertain terms that she’d have liked to see me beheaded again. “No. I will not leave with her.”

  “I don’t understand why—” I started to say when Cyrene, with a roll of her eyes, reached out and shoved her Taser on the back of Thala’s neck, causing the woman to jerk a few times before dropping to the ground, her eyes rolled back in her head.

  “I love this thing,” Cyrene commented with great satisfaction as she examined the results of her handiwork. “I’m going to carry it with me everywhere!”

  “Thanks, Cy,” May said, hurrying back to us. “Let’s get her out of here.”

  “Why is she so pissed at me?” I asked, moving to her legs. “What did I do to her?”

  “No clue, but we don’t have time to work it out now.” Aisling started to help me with her legs, then stood up. “It would take too long for us to carry her that way. Jim, so long as you’re in human form, you can carry her.”

  “Me!” Jim squawked. “I’m a Newfie, not a pack mule!”

  “You’re also stronger than any of us, and we’ll move faster if you sling Thala over your shoulder and carry her. Now get cracking! We have to get out of here before Drake lands at the nearest airport.”

  “I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again—nothing good ever comes of human form,” Jim complained as it bent over to pick up the unconscious woman.

  “Goddess!” Cyrene squeaked, flinching and covering her eyes.

  May shuddered and slipped into the shadow world.

  I spun around so that my back was to the gruesome sight. “Aisling, much as I appreciate you helping, next time, can you make sure Jim is wearing at least a pair of underpants before it does that?”

&nb
sp; “Sorry,” she said, grimacing in sympathy.

  “Hey! Not havin’ fun here, either!” Jim grunted as it stood up, Thala flopping on its shoulder. “I think I just ruptured a spleen or two.”

  “I’ll see how many of them there are,” May said, her voice muffled and distant from the shadow world.

  “Let’s just hope that not too many of them have had time to arrive,” Aisling said as we moved down the hallway.

  “And that my spinal cord doesn’t snap,” Jim grumbled, awkwardly following us. I winced as it moved too close to a half-moon table, whacking Thala’s head with a painful-sounding thunk.

  “I can zap people,” Cyrene offered, waving her Taser happily. “I bet I could get a good dozen dragons with it before the battery runs out.”

  “Too many,” came a disembodied voice, followed shortly by May as she emerged from nothing. “There’s at least a dozen outside, looking for signs of entry. Thank god we reset the window alarm once we got inside. They’re focusing their search out there, not in the house itself.”

  “How are we going to get out?” I asked.

  Jim groaned and leaned against the wall, partially squashing Thala in the process. “You better decide quick, ’cause I think a kidney just imploded.”

  “I’ll have to distract them,” May said. “I’ll slip out through a back window and lure them in the direction opposite of the car.”

  “These are Drake’s men. . . . They might not recognize you, May, and Gabriel would have a hissy if any of them tried to harm you. They know me, though, so I’ll go be the bait,” Aisling said.

  “How about we both go?” May suggested.

  “I can go, too,” Cyrene offered. “I can zap any of them that get too close.”

  “You stay with Jim and Ysolde,” May answered, adding quickly when she saw Cyrene start to frown, “You’ll be responsible for keeping them safe.”

  “Oh! Good idea! I’ll zap the ones that come after us.”

  Jim groaned again. “Can we just go before my back compresses until I’m only four feet tall? I’d hate to see what that does to my fabulous Newfie form.”

  “Ysolde de Bouchier,” Aisling said, taking my hand to draw a ward on my palm. “Unto you I bestow the power over my minions. Jim, stay with Ysolde until I can get you back, and stop complaining. We all know you’d rather be in dog form, and I’m sure we’ll figure out how to make that happen, but until then, just do what Ysolde says and put some pants on as soon as you can.”

  We parted at the top of the stairs, Aisling and May promising to make a huge ruckus and draw attention away from the north side of the house.

  “I’ll call you tomorrow,” Aisling said, then stopped herself and glanced at her watch. “Later today, actually, to make arrangements for Jim. Good luck, everyone!”

  It took some time to get down to the ground floor, since Jim insisted its shoulder was caving in, forcing it to reposition Thala. Unfortunately for her, it dropped her while trying to shift her to its other shoulder, but luckily no one seemed to hear the loud crash as she bounced down the last couple of stairs.

  “She’s going to be black and blue by the time you’re done with her,” I pointed out as Jim stuffed her through the window through which we’d entered the house.

  “And your point is . . . ?” Jim said as it released Thala’s legs, letting her slide through the window to the ground outside. “In case you missed the news flash, she’s not the nicest person in the world. She tried to kill Kostya and Savian, not that the former is anything to worry about, but I like Savian. Whenever I stay with May and he comes over to visit, he slips me pastries.”

  “Sorry.” Cyrene’s voice drifted in through the window. “Was I supposed to catch Thala? I thought I heard a voice, and I wanted to see if he was Taserable. Are you guys coming?”

  The ten minutes that followed had more in common with a Monty Python skit than a Mission: Impossible episode, but May and Aisling turned out to be the perfect decoys. As Jim staggered away from the house with Thala, I could hear the crackle of radios and shouts of alarm coming from the distance, to my great relief growing more and more distant as each minute passed. To Cyrene’s intense disappointment, we didn’t encounter a single dragon on our way out of the house’s grounds, nor did she approve of my insisting that we hide should a stray dragon run past.

  “What’s the use of having a Taser if I can’t zap dragons with it?” she complained.

  “You’ll just have to use it another time,” I told her, pausing to peer down the lane where we’d parked the car before waving everyone forward.

  “Maybe Kostya will get out of line and I’ll be able to nail him,” she mused.

  I shot her a curious glance. “Things not going well with the relationship?”

  “Oh, it’s not that,” she said with a half shrug. “It’s just that . . . well . . . this wyvern’s mate business isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Kostya insists that I put the welfare of the black dragons ahead of everything else, and I just can’t. I’m a naiad! Ned says that’s why mixed relationships don’t work.”

  “Ned?” I dug out my car keys and unlocked the car.

  “He’s just a friend of mine,” she answered coyly.

  “Man, you’re dating Neptune on the side? Kostya’s going to blow a gasket when he finds out.” Jim dropped Thala into the backseat. “Can I be there when you tell him?”

  I gave Cyrene a long look before getting into the car. She slid into the front passenger seat, shooting Jim an irate glance as it shoved Thala’s legs off the seat and climbed in next to our sleeping beauty.

  “I am not dating Ned. I just happened to run into him a few times. We may have gone to dinner a couple of times when Kostya was off doing whatever it is that is so much more important than spending time with me, but that’s it. There’s nothing wrong with me seeing the head of the order of water elementals, you know. It’s not like I’m madly in love with him or anything like that, even though he is really sensitive and understanding about everything to do with my spring, and he appreciates all the trouble I take over making sure that my lakes and rivers are all in tiptop shape, whereas Kostya just tells me it’s a waste of time. A waste of time! Ha!”

  So that was the way the wind was blowing. It was interesting, but really none of my business. I made a mental note to tell Baltic, though. I knew he would be interested in finding out that Kostya’s quasi mate had evidently lost her rose-colored glasses where the volatile Kostya was concerned.

  “Is Drake going to be very pissed at Aisling?” I asked Jim a few minutes later, as we drove through the night, heading toward the train station, where I would drop off Cyrene.

  “Yeah, but she’s got him wrapped around her little finger,” it answered, its hands on its neck in an attempt to rub sore muscles. It hesitated, then corrected itself. “Most of the time she does. He’ll probably be all pissy for a bit, but she’ll sweet-talk him around. Or she’ll flash a little boob and he’ll cave.”

  “I hope it doesn’t cause trouble between them.” I wondered how bad it would be if Baltic discovered I’d gone against his wishes. A few of the memories granted to me of our past several hundred years drifted across my mind. It could be bad. “Well, at least this time he won’t have anything to complain about,” I said under my breath as I pulled out onto a main road.

  Sometimes I really would give anything not to make such statements. It just seems to tempt fate.

  An hour and a half later, I looked up and asked, “Did you get her settled?”

  Jim stomped down the stairs from where it had deposited Thala in one of the spare bedrooms. “If by ‘settled’ you mean I dumped her on the bed and slapped a pair of handcuffs on her that you found, yeah. Can I say just how kinky it is that you had a pair of handcuffs right there? Do you use them on Baltic? Or does he use them on you?”

  “Neither. They’re Pavel’s,” I said, avoiding the demon’s eye as I checked my phone. There was no response to the text I had sent Baltic saying we’d successfu
lly retrieved Thala.

  “Seriously? Man, and he looks so normal. Did you ever get to watch him—?”

  “No,” I interrupted quickly, deciding a change of subject was in order. I frowned at the demon as it squirmed uncomfortably. “What on earth is wrong with you?”

  “Big Jim and the twins don’t like it in there,” it answered, tugging at the crotch of the jeans I’d lent it.

  “Oh, for heaven’s sake—you’re the same size as Baltic, and I’m sure that your genitalia aren’t so massive they can’t fit into a pair of jeans.”

  “Yeah, well, you try stuffing a human package into a pair of jeans without a pair of shorts on,” it answered, still squirming. “That’s a sensitive area, you know! You can’t just cram them anywhere and expect them to be comfortable.”

  “I told you to take what you needed from Baltic’s closet. You could have gotten a pair of underwear.”

  “I’m not wearing another guy’s shorts!” it answered, looking appalled. “I don’t know where they’ve been! Well, I do, and that doesn’t reassure me any. Plus, do you think Baltic would like knowing you’re handing out his clothes?”

  “I think he’d prefer that to having you wandering around wearing nothing but a sarong made of two sweaters. Stop clutching at yourself and sit down. I want to talk to you.”

  “Uh-oh,” it said, backing away. “You’ve got that scary-mom look on your face. Talk about what?”

  “Ouroboros dragons.”

  Jim blinked a couple of times. “You could at least feed me before you interrogate me.”

  “It’s two o’clock in the morning, Jim. You don’t need to eat now!”

  “Sure I do. I spent a lot of energy hauling Thala around. She’s no lightweight, you know.”

  I opened my mouth to protest, but thought better of it. Jim was an endless mooch for food, and would likely be more forthcoming if it was fed. “All right, I’ll make you a blue-cheese-stuffed burger, but you will tell me everything you know about outlaw dragons.”

  “Deal, but it ain’t much, only a few things I’ve picked up from Ash and Drake.”