by Renee Swann
I avoided his eyes. “I finished it last night.”
“Ah-ha.” He brushed his lips against mine. “I’ll be back.”
I searched through the cupboards. What could I make? Cookies? Mousse? Brownies? I heard the front door click shut and I padded into the living room. “Hey, Rubes, want to help me bake?”
Her smile widened. “What’re we making?” She hopped off the couch and danced over to me.
“How about some triple choc brownies for my favourite girl?”
“Yum!”
“Come on.” I towed her into the kitchen.
“I’ve never made brownies before.” She climbed onto a barstool.
“It’s easy. We just measure out the ingredients, then you can help mix them.”
“And taste them.” She giggled.
“Yes, and Daddy’s getting some ice cream. Maybe we can make a brownie sundae, eh?”
She nodded. “Let’s start.”
“Okay. You get the milk, butter and eggs. I’ll get the rest.” I swivelled to retrieve the flour. I heard a crack. I turned back. Yolk slithered off the counter, onto the linoleum.
Ruby cowered. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”
“Hey.” I bent to her level.
“I won’t do it again, I promise.” She sniffled.
“Ruby.” My thumbs swiped over her moist cheeks. “It can be wiped up.”
She avoided my eyes.
“Does Mummy yell at you when you spill something?”
She sniffled again. “Yes.”
“Oh, Honey.” I crushed her to me. “I would never ever do that.” I released her. “Accidents happen.” I shrugged. “No big deal.”
She nodded.
“Let’s get this cleaned up, eh?” I straightened and tore a wad of paper towelling off the roll.
A couple of minutes later, we were all set up.
“What goes next?” said Ruby
“Cocoa powder,” I said, “You think you can sift it in?”
“Yep.”
Troy wandered into the kitchen. “Hey, Kiddo.” He pressed his lips to her head. “Mon.” He touched his lips to mine.
“We had a bit of a hiccup,” I whispered, “But it’s all under control.”
“I think we need more chocolate,” said Ruby.
“You are right.” I opened the milk. “There’s some chocolate chips in the bottom cupboard.”
Troy unpacked containers. “They gave us an extra cheesy bread.”
“Awesome,” I said, “Just a few more minutes and then we can eat.”
“I’m starved.” Ruby opened the packet. “How much of these?”
“Um. Half a cup.” I slid the instrument across the counter. “Be careful. They could spill-” Chips scattered over the counter. “Everywhere.”
She cut her eyes to me, her bottom lip spasmed.
“It’s okay!” I said, “Troy, can you get that?”
“I’m on it.” He swooped in and scooped up the mess.
I stirred in the chocolate then poured the batter into a pan. “There we go.” I dusted off my hands.
“Rubes, go wash up for dinner,” said Troy. His eyes tracked her exit. “You said there was a problem?” They slid to me.
“Oh. She dropped an egg and thought I was going to scream.”
He pulled me into him. “Thank you for being you. You could’ve walked away when you found out about her, but you didn’t.”
“Who could leave that adorable girl?”
“Are you happy?” His fingers brushed over my cheek.
“For today, tomorrow, and ever.”
4
BEGINNINGS
The bed jostled. I opened an eye and squinted into the night. I managed to see Ruby wriggling up between us.
“What’s up?” I whispered.
“It’s my birthday,” she whispered back.
“I know.” I draped an arm over her. “Happy birthday.”
“I’m excited for my party. I’ve never had one before.”
“It will be awesome. But let’s go back to sleep before we wake Daddy.”
She touched a finger to my hair. “I can’t sleep.”
I yawned. “You want some hot chocolate?”
“Yes, please.”
I peeled back the blanket and slid my feet into my fuzzy slippers.
She followed. “Can I get marshmallows, too?”
“Yep.” I scooped powdered chocolate into two mugs.
“Will there be balloons and streamers?”
I nodded as I stirred in some milk. “And horns and hats-” I retched. A hand flew up to cover my mouth.
“Are you okay?”
I retched again. Could I make it to the bathroom in time? I spun. My vision distorted. I heard Ruby calling me.
Then everything went black.
“Mon.” Troy’s distressed tone pierced the veil.
I felt his hands brush over mine, the linoleum cool against my skin.
“C’mon, Mon.”
“Urgh.” I pulled myself up. My stomach convulsed.
He held a bowl to my chin as half-digested cheesy bread and ravioli gushed from my throat.
“You’re white as.” The back of his hand pressed against my forehead.
“Must have caught a bug. Can I get some water?”
“Sure.” He filled a glass. “You hit your head pretty bad.”
Ruby was curled next to me. She refused to meet my eyes.
“Maybe you should get checked out,” he said.
I chugged some water. “Nah. I’ll be fine.”
“Do you pass out a lot?” He helped me stand.
“Only when I’m about to puke. Something about a drop in blood pressure.”
He nodded. “Let’s get you back into bed.”
Ruby took my other hand. “You’ve gotta get better for my party!”
“I will be, don’t you worry. I’m looking forward to cake.” I managed a grin. The thought of the sugary dessert disgusted me.
“That’s all she cares about, Rubes.” He shook his head in mock disappointment.
I slid onto the mattress.
“We’ll let you get some rest.” Troy shut the door behind them.
I hugged the waste basket to my chest. Were there other symptoms? My mind wandered to the scrambled eggs. Thought they were bad. But maybe I am sick.
Whatever it was, I hope it passed quick.
Troy appeared beside me. “How you feelin’?”
“Nauseous. And a little hungry.” Is that even possible? I stabbed eight glittery candles into the icing.
“Don’t throw up on the cake.” He chuckled.
I managed a laugh. “I won’t, I promise.” Throwing up again was the least of our problems. “Mind if I pop out for a bit later?”
“You’re not thinking of getting out of clean-up duties, are you?” He winked.
“Never.”
“I thought so.”
“Might go to the doctors.” And grab a second lunch. Ooh, a burrito. Yum.
He nodded, stern. “Good.”
I knew he was concerned. The sooner I sorted myself out, the quicker it would clear up space for him to worry about other things. Lauren has refused our help so far. But it was only a matter of time before she cracked again.
Two burritos?
I carted the cake into the dining room, Troy close on my heels.
“Okay everyone, cake time!” I slid it onto the table. My eyes roamed. “Where’s the birthday girl?”
Ruby stepped forward, waving an arm.
“Ah, there you are.” I bent to whisper in her ear. “Having fun?”
“Tonnes!”
“Did you want everyone to sing Happy Birthday?”
“Yes!”
“Cool.” I straightened.
Troy handed out lolly bags. And, as I led the worst rendition of Happy Birthday To You ever, it hit me.
I’m pregnant.
I paced in the cubicle. Come on Mon, you can do this. You have taken
on rabid monkeys, jealous ex-girlfriends and today, twenty ankle-biters. You can pee on an effing stick! I tore open the packaging, my hands shaking.
Troy and I hadn’t discussed having a baby. How will he take the news? Am I destined to repeat my mother’s parenting pitfalls?
You can do it.
In the next cubicle, a phone beeped. The conversation caught my attention.
“Taylor is so cute,” said the girl, “I mean, hello, have you seen those abs?”
I breathed a sigh. Just do it already.
I dumped my bag on the hallway table.
Troy noticed me and switched off the vacuum. “What’d the doctor say?”
“We are having a baby,” I said.
“What?” Joy and surprise flashed across Troy’s features. He crushed me to his chest. “That’s so great! Ruby can have a little sister or brother!”
“You’re taking the news well.” Better than I imagined. “You do realise there’s a lot of sleepless nights and busy days ahead and - oh, how am I going to run Ruby Publishing now?”
“Breathe.” He rubbed circles into the back of my hands. “Sure, it’s a little earlier than expected but, we’ll manage.”
I nodded.
“You’re pale. Sit.”
I moved to the couch. He’s always so calm. Why am I freaking out?
“You’ve got concerns?” he said.
“That things won’t be the same between us.”
He chuckled once. “Mon, this isn’t high school any more. A lot of things’ve changed.”
“True.”
“We’ll be fine.” He pressed his lips to my temple. “Who should we tell first?”
My mouth fell open with a pop. “You are kidding, right?”
He shook his head. “No.”
“I hardly have had time to adjust. Actually, I’m still freaked by the whole idea.”
“I understand.”
“I thought we would get a puppy first. And if that survived ...”
“You’ll be a great mum.” He thought for a beat. “You are a great mum. Ruby adores you.”
I snorted. “There’s something wrong with that kid. She’s so nice.”
“I apologise for raising an amazing child.”
I chuckled with him.
“We’re gonna be fine.” He held me close. “We have each other.”
“And we can still get that puppy. I mean, if I can take care of a baby, I can take care of an animal, right?”
He was silent.
“Right?”
* * *
The sun streamed through the blinds. I yawned and rolled over. Troy grinned at me.
“Oh.” I sat up. “How long have you been awake?”
“A couple minutes.” His grin widened. “Sleep well?”
I nodded.
His hand stroked my belly. “Hey there, Peanut.”
I covered his hand with mine. “I was thinking more of a Lily or a Kaleb, but Peanut’s cute.” My smile widened. “Peanut DeGaris. Original.”
He chuckled and brushed his lips against mine. “You’re one-of-a-kind.”
“I know.” I flopped into the pillows.
He nuzzled my neck. “I was thinking breakfast in bed ...”
“French toast?”
“Mmm.”
“And a croissant.”
“Don’t think we have any,” he said.
“Freezer. Behind the brussel sprouts.”
He chuckled again. “Cheeky.”
I yawned. Content, my eyes fluttered closed.
What seemed a moment later, Troy nudged me awake. “Hey, Bad Ass, rise’n shine.”
The scent of butter and toast entered my nose. My eyes fluttered open.
Troy slid a tray onto the bed. “Apple cinnamon pancake, French toast, croissants.” He handed me a mug.
“You are too good to be true.” My lips tugged into a smile as I sat up.
“Anything for the mother of my child.”
I eyed the single rose. “You are going to spoil this kid rotten, aren’t you?”
He shrugged a shoulder. “Don’t really spoil Ruby.”
I tore a croissant and smothered it in jam. “She’s going to be so excited.”
“What’re you doing today?”
I let him snitch a wedge of pancake. “I have another appointment at the doctors. Then I’m stopping by the hotel.”
“How’s your mum gonna react?”
“She’ll be ecstatic.” I hope.
“I’m gonna take you shopping tomorrow.”
My eyebrow arched. “For what?”
He shrugged again. “Whatever you want.”
“Awesome.” Bookshop here I come.
That afternoon, I rode the elevator to the sixth floor. I smoothed out my dress and raised my fist to knock on the suite’s door.
It swung open. “Darling!” Mum embraced me. “Come in. Let me take your coat.” She ripped it from my shoulders.
“Careful. My arms are still attached.”
“Sorry. I’m just excited.” She paused. “Where’s Ruby?”
“Visiting Lauren.”
Her face dropped. “You promised I’d see my granddaughter.”
“I do have some news.” I perched on the sofa.
“Wine?”
“No, thanks.”
Her eyes roamed over my face and body. “You’re pregnant.”
“Oh God. How did you know?”
She shrugged a shoulder. “Took a shot.” She handed me a cola. “So, another grandchild. Aren’t I lucky?” She chuckled.
“Very. Are you sure you wouldn’t be more comfortable staying with us?”
“And miss out on room service? Besides, you no longer have a spare room.”
The thought of my brand new office being turned into a baby’s room was disheartening. “Julie’s house?”
She petted my shoulder. “Please, let me have another couple of days of pampering before I make any decisions.”
“Sure. But give her a call when you’re ready. She would love the company.”
“Do you have time for some cake?” she said, “We could go down to the café.”
“I’m always up for dessert.” I stood.
“Today’s special is toffee crunch, I believe.”
“Let’s go.” I shrugged into my coat and followed her out.
Five minutes later, we were seated by the window, looking out onto the ocean.
“A stranger would think you have someone on the inside.” I sipped my virgin piña colada. “So, Mum.” I leaned forward. “Are you sleeping with the manager?”
She smiled and tapped the side of her nose. A waiter glided over.
“Ah, Jimmy. Get us two slices of today’s cake,” she said.
He nodded and plodded over to the counter.
“Man of little words,” I said.
“Makes a damn good espresso. Too bad Troy knocked you up.”
“Hm.” No coffee, alcohol? This’ll be a tonne of fun.
Mum petted my hand. “Don’t worry, Dear. You can booze it up after the baby is born.”
I’m destined to become an alcoholic like my mother was? “How long has it been since you boozed it up?”
“Twenty years. When your father died it really sobered me.”
I don’t blame her for her issues. But I do not want to be like her. I felt my features harden.
Her hand retracted. “Did I say something wrong?”
“Do you recall when our house was on fire?”
Mum’s eyes clouded. “You were unconscious for a week.”
“You fled, leaving me inside. Maybe if I’d had a normal mother, we would have gotten along better.”
Jimmy delivered the cake.
I stood. “I’ll take mine to go.” I couldn’t bear to stay another moment, scared that I would talk myself onto a figurative ledge.
“Darling? If I said something wrong, please, tell me.”
I sniffled. “I have to leave.”
T
roy was waiting on the porch when I returned. “Hey, how was-?” He took in my misty eyes. “What happened?”
“Genetics.” I plopped down next to him. “I’m going to be a lousy mother.”
“I don’t think so.” He draped an arm over my shoulders. “You’re Ruby’s number one fave person. That’s a highly coveted position.”
“It is?” I said, “But I had nothing to do with her upbringing. What if I suck at raising a child?”
“I think you’re so determined to not screw it up, that you’ll be totally fine.”
“Hm. I guess that’s true.” I sniffed at his mug. “Coffee.”
“Come inside. I’ll make you a pot of decaf.”
I trudged in and hung my jacket. “I’ll split my toffee crunch cake with you, if you would give me some real coffee.” I tugged the plastic container from my handbag and waved it under his nose.
He smirked. “Not even if you gave me a million dollars.”
I followed him down the hallway. “Two million?”
“Nope.”
“I’m a desperate woman.”
He swivelled. “I know.”
I sighed, tossed the dessert onto the counter and grabbed a cola. “I hate you.”
“Really?”
“No. How’s Ruby?”
“She wants to stay with Lauren tomorrow night.”
I froze. “What are we going to do?”
He tore the plastic open and handed me a fork. “I’m gonna let her go.”
“What?”
He shrugged. “She still has custody.”
Not for long.
Ruby danced in. “Hi, Moni.”
“Hey,” I said.
“We’ve got something to tell you,” Troy said to her.
“Now?” If Ruby tells Lauren, she’ll hurt her again, I was sure of it.
“There’s no better time,” he said.
Ruby’s eyes darted between us. “Tell me. Please.”
No going back now. I slid the cake towards her. “How would you like a little brother or sister?”
She thought for a moment. “I’d like a brother.”
“We can’t really guarantee that,” I said.
“A sister would be cool, too.” She forked cake into her mouth.
“Cool,” I said.
“It’s bound to be one of those, right?” Troy teased.
I unleashed an icy glare on him. “You are not helping.”
He hid a smile.